Are You Addicted?

"I"m a b.a.s.t.a.r.d? Then what are you? A beast?" Gu Yang retorted as his stone-cold gaze swept towards Gu Hai like a violent whirlwind, ready to raze its adversary. His words held a sardonically vicious tone that revealed no mercy of any sort, "I may have done immoral deeds but how many of your actions are considered virtuous? Although I"ve hurt my own brother, you"ve also hurt your own father! When you were injured, who was the one that was worried sick for you all day long? Have you ever thought about being grateful for once?……"

"Don"t change the subject!" Gu Hai immediately interrupted Gu Yang"s web of sophistry with an imposing demeanor, "I only want to ask you one thing right now, what exactly happened after the car accident?"

"That accident didn"t cause you to have an amnesia, right? From what I remember, you regained consciousness as soon as you woke up. Didn"t everything else that happened afterwards play out right in front of your eyes every day? What else do you want to know?"

"I just want to know what happened before I woke up."

"Before you woke up? Is there even a need to ask this sort of question? Of course, it was to rush you to the hospital so you can be saved."

"Can you stop beating around the bush?" Gu Hai"s patience slowly collapsed bit by bit the more he listened to Gu Yang, "You know exactly what I"m asking, after the accident and before I regained consciousness, what did you actually say to Bai Luo Yin? And what did he say to you? Please tell me everything from beginning to end, word for word."

"What difference would it make if I told you?" Gu Yang watched Gu Hai attentively, "It has been eight years already. Even if you know the truth, what can you bring back?"

"I don"t want to bring anything back, I just want to know! I just want to understand everything!!"

"Fine then. I will tell you, so listen carefully." Gu Yang returned to the subject without any hesitation, "When the accident happened, there were heavy traffic coming from all directions. Bai Luo Yin carried you on his back and made his way, step by step, until he reached the ambulance. By the time I arrived at the hospital, Bai Luo Yin was already waiting outside the operation room, and after the doctor announced you were out of danger, he left. But before he left, he urged me to tell you when you wake up that he was dead."

"That"s impossible!" Gu Hai immediately retorted, unable to accept the truth, "You must have said something to forced him to leave!"

"There"s nothing else I can do if you don"t believe me. But, I admit, the story about him being abroad was indeed something I made up. At that time, when I saw you living as if you were going to die any day, I wanted to give you a little bit of hope. Afterwards, I found Bai Luo Yin"s family and friends and told them about it, and they all agreed to cooperate. This was the reason why you weren"t able to find any information from anyone."

Hearing those words, Gu Hai had never once thought that he has been living a life constructed by webs of lies for the past eight years. Every agonizing day that he endured was no different than living in h.e.l.l. But in the end, it was simply just someone else"s blind a.s.sumption of something they did not fully comprehend.

"Did my dad know about this?"

"Do you actually think he wouldn"t know?" Gu Yang laughed grimly, "The moment Bai Luo Yin decided to enlist, the first person to be informed was your father. How do you think he reacted? With just that alone, he promised that he would no longer interfere with your future development."

Gu Hai finally understood why in the past eight years, Gu Wei Ting has been excessively tolerant towards him, to the point of turning a blind eye to his preposterous acts of travelling abroad several times in search of Bai Luo Yin, all the while he watched uncaringly from the sideline like any other stranger on the street. As it turns out, his own father actually aided in fleshing out this pernicious deed instead. He would rather watch his own son struggle miserably in this lie than willing tell him the truth.

"Xiao Hai," Gu Yang"s tone softened, "Some words might sound like a cliché, but it"s there for a reason. Even if no one had interfered back then, given the temperament you both had and how you clashed with each other, your relationship would have not lasted. It"s better to just get the pain over with rather than prolonging the agony. Instead of letting you continue on this crooked path, it was better to break off those thoughts of yours."

"Don"t use these pompous reasons to try and wash your own sins clean. As to how many "crooked paths" I take, that"s my own business. I"ve accepted all the hardship and pain I"ve suffered because that was my choice!"

"Has anyone ever interfered with your choices?" Gu Yang stood up and walked towards Gu Hai, all the while his cold gaze watched him closely, "I"m just the messenger in all this. May I ask, have I interfered with anything? Has your dad interfered with anything? The person who started all of this is Bai Luo Yin. Frankly speaking, you brought everything upon yourself!! If you truly understood him and if both of your feelings are as deep as you said it was, then why haven"t you found him yet? Why did you believe our words so easily and allow us to control your life?"

A broken smile spread emerged on Gu Hai"s face, "When I was lying on the hospital bed and diagnosed with second grade disability [1] within a year, who else could I have trust besides you guys?"

"That"s because you are incompetent!" Gu Yang"s sudden comment hit the mark the moment it strutted out, "Wake up, kid! Why don"t you think about why you"ve been isolated without any help at all? Why everyone in the world conspired to deceive you? It"s because in their eyes, you are not worthy of their trust, not worthy enough for them to depend on, nor are you worthy for them to take the risk and tell you the truth!"

"No one is born with all the abilities to support themselves! Maturity in and of itself is a process, not something that can be artificially constructed!" Gu Hai firmly countered with angry eyes as he faced Gu Yang, "You"ve always made yourself sound like a powerful person that can shake up and control the world. But, may I ask, why was I the only person you could call when you met with mishaps? Who is it that mapped out your life for you? When you were charged with the embezzlement of public funds, which relative kindly made the accusation?" [2]

Gu Yang immediately grasped Gu Hai"s collar and ruthlessly warned him, "I don"t show my concern for other"s easily so when it is given, do not trample on it so easily!"

Before Gu Hai could launch a counterattack, he was forcefully seized by several bodyguards that had burst into the room.

"Don"t attack!" Gu Yang"s reaction was more intense than that of Gu Hai"s.

The air in the room frozen as silence prevailed. After a long while, Gu Hai calmly spoke, "Gu Yang, I"ve always thought that sincerity is the foundation of being a human being. If you are sincere, then there"s no need to be afraid that someone else will be even more sincere than you. However, if you are treacherous, you will always worry that someone will be even more treacherous than you. All the best to you!"

After Gu Hai"s figure faded from the door, Gu Yang"s fist firmly struck the surface of the table, his heart completely trounced with chaos.

You have the nerve to speak to me about being sincerity? Who have I -Gu Yang- treated without sincerity? Besides being sincere to Bai Luo Yin and yourself, who else have you ever treated with sincerity?

When Bai Luo Yin returned to the military compound, he was severely criticized by several of his commanding officers. First, his primary instructor schooled him, albeit with good intention. Later, the situation somehow spread to the Division Commander and by nine o"clock the next night, Bai Luo Yin was invited to his office where he ended up standing for three hours. After he finally took the initiative to admit his mistakes and apologized, he was then ordered to write a five thousand words self-reflection essay that needed to be handed in the next morning.

By the time three o"clock in the early morning sauntered by, Bai Luo Yin was still writing and even then, he still has not written more than three thousand words. Every so often his eyelids would droop heavily while his head dangled low and before long it knocked onto the surface of the table with a faint thud. Shaking his drowsiness away, Bai Luo Yin stood up and walked outside, hoping that the cold breeze that whistled by would clear his mind.

As he looked out, the military courtyard was reigned by silence with only a few solitary lights that flashed from time to time, before finally fusing with the night scene.

Ever since he enlisted in the military, Bai Luo Yin had stayed up countless nights. However, this was the first time he had to stay up late for the sake of writing a self-reflection essay.

Why did I have the sudden urge to attack?

After that exchange, Bai Luo Yin felt completely bewildered by his own behaviors.

"First, I was told you had died that day, making me live a life that was worse than death itself for two years. After all the suffering, I was then told you went abroad. I searched for you across the world and watched helplessly as my hope was trampled and destroyed over and over again……"

Those words played out repeatedly in Bai Luo Yin"s mind as if seeking to infiltrate and strike at his core.

What is it like to live a life that"s worse than death?

Does the days when I first entered the military considered as living a life that"s worse than death?

Having to train every single day to the point of numbness and being left with no will to fight, with no goals in life, does those too considered as living a life that"s worse than death?

Being alone and suffering from sleepless nights, was that too considered as living a life that"s worse than death?

Compared to what he has experienced over the years, has everything that I have endured been meaningless?

What kind of feeling was it like when he woke up after the accident and I wasn"t the first person he saw once he opened his eyes?

What kind of feeling was it like when he heard that I"ve died?

And, what kind of feeling was it like when he stayed in the hospital for over half a year, then had to deal with being hooked up with medical equipment every year, with no one to talk to about his broken-heart, his pain, suffering and sorrow?

And……what kind of feeling was it like as he crossed the world in search of news about me only to have his spirit destroyed over and over again?……

Bai Luo Yin does not dare think of it anymore. For the past eight years, every time he thought of it, all the nerves in his body would come together and twist into knots that provoked severe pain to unfurl and tear his heart out.

At times, there are certain things that are too deeply rooted…so, when the desire to forget it surface, isn"t it easier said than done?

Bai Luo Yin faintly sighed before he leaned over the desk and continued to painstakingly write.

At which point did writing become a weakness to the person who was hailed an expert? Now, he has become a person who is dependent on physical labor instead. And, unexpectedly, the one whom he always called stupid is now managing a high-tech enterprise!!

What a truly magnificent world.

"Bai Luo Yin, 26 years old, one of the nation first-tier air force pilot with an estimate of over 1407 hours of safety flight time. He has flown the J-7, J-8 and J-10[4] aircrafts on multiple occasions and has been honored with both the second-cla.s.s and third-cla.s.s medal once. During his service in the military, he has partic.i.p.ated in the theoretical research for flight technology and independently established the "powerless" flight theory. Furthermore, he has also proposed new theoretical concept on military affairs. Wu Cong Sheng, 37 years old, one of the nation first-tier air force pilot………"

After the instructor finished his introduction, he solicited the Major General, who also held the t.i.tle of Dean of the Research Inst.i.tute, opinion.

"As of now, we"ve only nominated these two soldiers. Please have a look, which of them will be more suitable to take over the wireless navigation project that you"ve drafted?"

The Major General"s brows tightened into a frown as he looked at the instructor with a prudent expression, "Which are you leaning towards more?"

"These two both have their own strengths. If we take their experiences into consideration, naturally Wu Cong Sheng is more experienced. But, if we look at it from a pioneering and perspicacity aspect, then Bai Luo Yin is more superior. From my personal point of view, I"m still leaning towards Xiao Bai. Although he is young, he"s earnest in his conducts and is rather quick-witted. Dealing with this kind of multifaceted research will be beneficial for his personal development."

Hearing that, the Major General nodded, "I"ve also considered him as my first choice."

The instructor grasped the Major General"s hand while his eyes sparkled like glitters.

"This is our base"s first ever priority development target!"

The Major General faintly smiled, "Then, it"ll be him!"

Translator"s Note:

[1] Second Grade Disability: there are ten different grades of disability in China. The second grade is the second worst, with the worst disability being the first grade. The symptoms/signs of second grade disability are (1) the patient needs someone to accompany them at all times, (2) any kinds of activity are restricted, the patient can only do activities in bed or when sitting on a chair, (3) the patient cannot work, and (4) the patient"s a.s.sociation with the society is extremely limited/hard the patient has extreme difficulties in communicating with the society.

Original text:

[2] "When you were charged with the embezzlement of public funds, which relative kindly made the accusation?" – Gu Hai is implying that although he knew about the embezzlement, he didn’t report Gu Yang when he could have easily done so.

[3] 师长: Division Commander. There are two levels.

正师级: To have the position as a Princ.i.p.al Division Commander, they must have a rank in the army as a Major General or Brigadier General.

副师级: To have the position as a Deputy Division Commander, the rank must be at least Brigadier General or Colonel.

Ranks:

空军上将Kong Jun Shang Jiang – General

空军中将Kong Jun Zhong Jiang – Lieutenant General

空军少将Kong Jun Shao Jiang – Major General

空军大校Kong Jun Da Xiao – Brigadier General

空军上校Kong Jun Shang Xiao – Colonel

空军中校Kong Jun Zhong Xiao – Lieutenant Colonel

空军少校 Kong Jun Shao Xiao – Major (Our Bai Luo Yin is here :))

空军上尉Kong Jun Shang Wei – Captain

空军中尉Kong Jun Zhong Wei – First Lieutenant

空军少尉Kong Jun Shao Wei – Second Lieutenant

空军学员Kong Jun Xue Yuan – Officer Cadet

[4]歼7 – Chengdu J-7, codename "Firebed": An interceptor aircraft, or simply interceptor, is a type of fighter aircraft designed specifically to attack enemy aircraft, particularly bombers and reconnaissance aircraft, as they approach.

歼8 – Shenyang J-8, codename "Finback": Also an interceptor.

歼10 – Chengdu J-10, codename "Firebird": It is a multirole combat aircraft. Roles such as:

Aerial reconnaissance (reconnaissance for a military or strategic purpose that is conducted using reconnaissance aircraft). This role can fulfil a variety of requirements, including the collection of imagery intelligence, observation of enemy maneuvers and artillery spotting).

Forward air control (is the provision of guidance to close air support aircraft intended to ensure that their attack hits the intended target and does not injure friendly troops).

Electronic-warfare aircraft (is a military aircraft equipped for electronic warfare (EW), that is, degrading the effectiveness of enemy radar and radio systems by using radar jamming and deception methods.)

Attack missions include the subtypes air interdiction, suppression of enemy air defense, and close air support (In military tactics, close air support is defined as air action by fixed or rotary-winged aircraft against hostile targets, that are in close proximity to friendly forces, and which requires detailed integration of each air mission with fire and movement of these forces)

Multirole has also been applied to one aircraft with both major roles, a primary air-to-air combat role, and a secondary role like air-to-surface attack. However, those designed with an emphasis on aerial combat are usually regarded as air superiority fighters and usually deployed solely in that role, even though they are theoretically capable of ground attack.

THANK YOU NANCY ❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ ) for letting me vent so much about this freaking chapter and you know how much I love translator’s notes~