"I am awash in humiliation," I said honestly. "But...I"m happy, too, because you actually liked my adolescent ramblings."
"It helps that I"m the star." He brushed his lips tenderly against my temple.
A shiver ran through me, and I rose up on tiptoes to give the kiss back. I placed it on the sharp curve of his jaw. G.o.d, he has a gorgeous profile. Objectively speaking, I wasn"t hot enough for people to understand why he"d want me. I still couldn"t believe he did.
"You missed a spot." He pointed to the other side of his face, and I nuzzled him.
His lashes drifted down, giving him a sleepy, s.e.xy look. Then he pulled me closer, leaving no doubt as to how he felt. I pressed against him with a little whimper. Impossible to believe this is Rob and me. His hands drifted to my hips.
"You"re making it really hard to take things slow."
I grinned. "I could say the same."
Rob cleared his throat and stepped back. "So..." That reminded me of why I was here. Not for s.e.x.
Please, s.e.x? No, I"m being patient. Dammit.
"Right. I really came by to ask...do you mind if I make friends with Avery? Would that be weird for you?" In the name of honesty, I had to add, "Even if it is, I"ll probably do it anyway. But it"ll be over your noted objections."
"I guess I"m wondering why, more than anything. She can be...difficult." That was such a Rob way to put it.
"She seems really alone. And I don"t know-I guess it feels like Jillian wins if her making s.h.i.t up results in Avery hating me forever. I want something good to come out of that badness. Does that make any sense?"
"Yeah. I hope you can get through to her. G.o.d knows I never did." He struggled to find the words, but not in a way that seemed to trouble him. "With us, it seemed like she was always playing a role, performing even when we were alone."
"I know all about that," I muttered.
High school had been a nightmare. The first two years, I was sick so much, I nearly got held back. But it wasn"t an illness a doctor could cure, though therapists tried. Only my mom yelling about emotional trauma in her housecoat convinced the princ.i.p.al to let me do summer school instead. After my soph.o.m.ore year, I decided, no more. No more of this. I hate Lauren Barrett, I hate everything about her. So I changed her clothes, her att.i.tude, her hair, her fear, pulled myself into a different shape and lived in that skin for five long years. I rarely wrote fan fiction, stopped playing on the computer for hours. The worst thing about that? n.o.body questioned it. n.o.body-not even Nadia-said, Wow, what"s wrong? You"re not yourself. It was more like everyone heaved a collective sigh of relief and thought, Thank G.o.d, she"s finally normal.
"You don"t do it, though. Not with me."
"That"s because you"re my safe place, Rob. You always have been."
He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes kindling to an electric-blue that curled my toes. "That"s the best thing anyone"s ever said to me."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
"It"s the truth," I said.
"I know." He reached for me then, and I settled against his chest; it felt like coming home after a long journey. "And in case it wasn"t clear, I don"t mind about Avery."
Since she"d just punched him in the mouth over something he didn"t do, that comment spoke volumes about the type of guy Rob was. I slipped my arms around his waist and hugged him, inhaling his rich, layered scent. Other guys might smell of expensive cologne, but he was all wood dust and the faint chemical scent of the product he used to seal the floors. There was also a touch of mint from his soap each time he moved his hands on my back, making me think he"d just washed them.
"Thanks. I was wondering...would you be open to an idea I"ve been kicking around?"
"Depends on what it is." He ran a gentle hand through my hair, covering me in shivers from head to toe.
Focus. He"s not trying to get you hot. It just happens. Or maybe he was. Teasing me. He was turned on before, and now that I was holding him again, it was evident he still hadn"t calmed down. His desire to take his time was both flattering and frustrating when I contemplated all the delicious, dirty things we could do together instead.
"Now who"s a distraction?" I accused.
He actually grinned. "Then my plan"s working?"
"If you"re trying to drive me crazy, I"m halfway there." As I drew away, I ran my fingers down his chest.
A visible tremor went through him as his hands clenched into fists, showing off the veins and tendons, along with the s.e.xy swell of his biceps. I fought the urge to bite him. Rob"s gaze met mine and I forgot to breathe.
He cleared his throat.
"What...what did you want to ask me?"
"You know how you want to design and build furniture? We can get going without a lot of start-up capital."
The question seemed to divert him from the s.e.xual tension, at least. To most people, his expression wouldn"t give anything away, but I noticed the sharpening of his focus, a minute tilt of the head, the narrowing of his eyes. "I"m listening."
With effort, I quashed the desire to get him naked immediately and explained my plan to build him a website with a simple merchant system. "You can post pictures of what you"ve built, then customers can request a similar item. I was also thinking it makes sense for you to start a YouTube channel for cross-promotion of the business. We"ll need a catchy name for your "show"...you can talk about furniture, woodworking, renovations on your house-"
Setting two fingers against my mouth to silence me, he cut in, "Wait, slow down. Why would anyone care?"
It was beyond me to resist the urge to kiss his fingertips. Smiling, Rob let go.
He might not like hearing this, but... "Don"t underestimate the interest in hot people on the internet."
"Seriously? You think my face will make people care what I have to say? It hasn"t at any point in the last twenty-five years."
"I care," I said quietly. "Besides, these are strangers with no preconceptions. They"ll start watching because, h.e.l.lo, look at you, but it"s your message that will make them come back."
For a few moments, he paced, wearing a thoughtful, conflicted expression. I could tell he thought I was wrong about the potential demand for his skills. But Rob had no ability to gauge his own self-worth. Hardly breathing, I waited for his response.
With a sigh, he finally nodded. "If you think it could sell furniture, let"s try it."
I understood how big of a leap that was for him. He hated the idea of using his looks to get anywhere, but people wouldn"t order a table just because he was gorgeous. They might watch his video channel for that reason...and if he got enough hits, they could be monetized. But we"d talk about secondary revenue streams another time. This was enough for today.
"Awesome. I"ll head home and start building the site. I can come back tomorrow to record the vlog, if you don"t have plans?"
He shook his head. "I"ll be working on the kitchen."
I remembered what he"d said about wanting the dining room done before he finished. "What are you planning to do?"
Fierce enthusiasm fired his words, and as I listened, I realized this was exactly what we needed for his first vlog. I could already imagine it, and if I came back early enough, I could film him working, too. A hot guy with a hammer, ripping cabinets out of the wall would get a ton of hits from a certain demographic. I was less sure if they"d actually order furniture, but even a few sales would boost his confidence.
I hadn"t slept over since the night he told me about his dad, mostly because the temptation of sleeping next to Rob was way more than I could handle. I"d already perved out on him once, and I didn"t intend to rush him into s.e.x. When we took this to the next level, it had to be his choice, all-in. The timing was already weird because of his breakup with Avery, so if he needed s.p.a.ce, I could give it to him.
"Okay, see you in the morning." I stretched up on tiptoe to brush my lips against his cheek, mostly because I"d gotten my fill of being seduced by centimeters. But Rob had other ideas; he circled my waist with his arms and lifted me onto the dining-room table.
"Not so fast, beautiful." He kissed me in a way that left me no doubt as to how much he wanted me, as if the point hadn"t been made already several times tonight.
You"re killing me.
His bruised mouth seared mine with heat and longing, and he tasted me so thoroughly that I forgot all my plans. His split lip flavored the kiss faintly of copper, and I traced my tongue over the swelling, b.u.t.terfly-gentle. Sinking my hands into his hair, I kissed him back and wrapped my legs around his hips. He skimmed his palms down my sides, up and down, until I thought I"d die if I didn"t take my coat off. As if he"d read my mind, Rob unzipped it and slid warm hands under my sweater. The contrast of his rough palms against my skin sent a shiver through me. For a few seconds, he only touched my sides, my stomach, and I was sixteen again, squirming with the need for a guy to round second base. My nipples peaked with each sc.r.a.pe of his fingertips, teasing higher as he nuzzled the side of my neck.
"Please," I whispered.
My sweater was retro, b.u.t.tons down the front, and he gazed at my face for a few seconds before he undid them, one by one. I was shivering by the time he bared my bra, a nice one, thank G.o.d: black satin, front-fastening. Somehow, it was incredibly hot to be perched on his dining-room table, jacket still on, skirt, tights, shoes...yet undone, as well. This felt...naughty.
"Want me to?"
Wordless, I nodded.
He unhooked my bra, baring my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. My jacket and sweater framed them, and I felt-for once in my life- beautiful enough to be photographed, an erotic display. And it was all for him. His eyes flared as if he shared the thought. A dark flush swept his cheekbones as he lowered his head, bringing my nipple to his mouth. The first lick made me cry out, and when he used his teeth, I tangled my hands in his hair.
"Rob," I breathed.
"Be still. Let me taste you."
"Mhm."
I couldn"t have argued if my life had depended on it. He sucked and licked, bit gently, back and forth, until both throbbed with equal need. Longing shivered through me, so sharp it sank its teeth in like pain, but I couldn"t stand for him to stop. Then, unbelievably, he did, with a final kiss to each of my nipples.
While I trembled, he fastened up my clothes. "There, now you can go."
"Seriously? You want me to leave? Now?" G.o.d, I sounded so breathless.
"Not at all," he whispered. "But antic.i.p.ation, remember? By the time we f.u.c.k, Lauren, you"ll want me more than anyone who"s ever been in your bed."
My only consolation was that he was shaking, too, and he clenched his right hand into a fist so tight, his knuckles burned white, like the bone beneath. Trying to tempt him, I blathered something incoherent about that already being true, but he only kissed my forehead and escorted me to the truck. Rob started it, and we sat in the dark cab, waiting for it to warm up. His sweetness combined with this teasing... d.a.m.n, it might be the end of me. I"d never been one for delayed gratification.
It took all my willpower not to beg for s.e.x, so this game he was playing-it was definitely working. My only consolation was that when I leaned over to kiss Rob goodbye, his shoulders were as tense as two slabs of granite. At least I"m not suffering alone. That a.s.surance let me drive off, cautiously, into the snowy evening. Twenty minutes later, I pulled into my driveway. My mom"s car was there, but the lights were out. I guessed she must be with Stuart.
I changed out of my work clothes, then sat down at my laptop. Over the years, I"d built enough websites that I could do this in my sleep. With stock photos and Photoshop, I pulled together some graphics, then started coding. I hated Flash sites, so I worked in CSS, putting together a basic template in earth tones...drop-down menu, there we go. Finally, I added rugged photos of lumber and men at work to set the tone. When I had the chance, I"d take some pictures of Rob to spice things up.
A couple of hours later, I finished the basic template. Products needed to be added to get the storefront working and Rob had to create the content-I figured I"d help. If he liked what I"d done on the free hosting that came with my mom"s internet, then I"d register a domain and pay for permanent hosting. Stretching, I stood up from the computer.
After showering, I got in bed to watch TV. I was nearly asleep when the text came in. Thinking of you.
I hoped that was as dirty as my imagination painted it. So I sent back, Me too. And it"s SO good. See you in the morning.
The next day, I was eating breakfast when my mom got in, but she wasn"t in the same outfit. So she"s got clothes at Stuart"s place. Wonder if he has some here. But it wasn"t my business, and I wasn"t the kind of person who would freak out about my mom finally having a life. Yet I couldn"t resist teasing her a little.
"I hope you were careful. You could ruin your life with an unplanned pregnancy."
She grinned. "Do you really want me to answer that? I will."
"Never mind." G.o.d, it was so weird to have my mom responding when I joked around like this. But it was good, too, like seeing a statue come to life. That didn"t mean I wanted any more information on this topic, though. So I hurriedly dumped my bowl in the sink and washed it out. "I"m going to Rob"s. See you later."
"How are things going?" she asked.
"Good, I guess. He doesn"t want to rush."
I let her make of that what she would, but my mom apparently had lines she wouldn"t cross, either. "Well, I think it"s sweet he"s taking things slow."
Aside from the s.e.xual frustration, I didn"t really mind. Rob didn"t make me feel like his interest would wane as soon as he got into my pants. So in that sense, his approach was working. I already believed he wanted more than my body.
"It"s...endearing," I admitted.
"Does tomorrow night work for you?" my mom asked, changing the subject.
I c.o.c.ked my head, trying to follow the sudden skip. "For what?"
"Karaoke."
Oh. "Rob said yes. I still have to ask everyone else. But for us, sure. Looking forward to it."
"Me, too," Mom said.
Waving to her, I got all my tech gear, bundled up and drove to Rob"s place. Though it was early for a Sat.u.r.day-before ten-he was already watching for me. I parked in the garage as the doors opened, and he helped me unload.
"What is all this?"
"My laptop and a decent camera, plus various cables. I hope you like the site. Oh, and we need to talk about the name. I was thinking "Rob the Builder" might be cute, but it"s also really close to that kid show-"
He cut me off with a kiss. "Good morning."
"Heh, sorry. Morning. I"m just excited."
"You"re adorable."
He carried my bag into the house, where I set up my computer so I could walk him through the website features. "It"s really customizable, so if there"s anything you don"t like, it"ll be easy for me to change it. Obviously we need to add pictures, content, products, but...what do you think?" I slid the laptop to him so he could explore.
After a few minutes of clicking around, he turned to me with an astonished expression. "This is so impressive. This would"ve cost thousands of dollars, wouldn"t it?"
"Maybe. Hundreds more likely, because I started with a free template, so a lot of the heavy lifting was done. I just-"
"I can tell you worked really hard. I love it. And thank you."
"Awesome. Now I have an idea how we can both get what we want today. While you"re working in the kitchen, I want to film you. If possible, unless it"ll be too distracting, explain what you"re doing as you go. Would that be okay?"
"I don"t know why anybody would want to watch that, but sure."
"Trust me," I said.
"I do, more than anyone." The gentleness of his tone made my heart hitch. Somehow, though we"d only slept together in the most literal sense, Rob had burrowed so deep inside me that it was terrifying.