"No, no, you"re right. We are different at the fort," she admitted. "We actually are living. This is just existing. It"s not right."
Bill sighed. "I was gonna ask Katarina out to disco night. I actually asked her out for a beer when we got back from the hospital."
"Really?" Jenni grinned at him. "Good for you!"
"I felt kinda guilty at first liking her. My wife died a year ago, so..." Bill shrugged. "You know what I mean."
Jenni actually didn"t, but she nodded anyway. She felt no remorse about her relationship with Juan or any guilt. But then again, she had pretty much hated her husband.
"But I figure that in this world, you gotta just take your chance at happiness. So I got up the guts to do that. Besides, I guess we are all walking around with some survivor guilt. I feel it now. Looking at these people. I mean the fort hasn"t been a cake walk, but we sure as h.e.l.l had it better than these folks."
Jenni slowly ate, looking at the people around her. They were muted.
Shadows. People powered down and living on what remained of their energy.
"This rumor about the Senator taking over the fort," Jenni started slowly as she stirred her meal.
"I bet it"s real. It won"t happen though. Can"t. Notice how the high and mightys live up on the second floor? That s.h.i.t won"t work with us. I can"t see it happening."
"The military though," Jenni said softly.
Bill sighed softly. "I know."
They fell into silence for a few minutes, eating slowly.
"Since coming here, I have been thinking a lot about the first day," Jenni said at last.
Bill looked at her curiously.
"My children died," Jenni said, her gaze straying to the playground where too-thin kids played with stifled energy. "I didn"t fight to save my son Mikey. I just ran. I can"t explain what I was thinking, I just ran. I wanted to get away, survive. I know that much. But I ended up outside of my house, with the front door closed and Mikey..."
Bill touched her hand gently, trying to soothe her.
"I heard him die, Bill. I heard it. I heard him screaming "Mommy" and I didn"t go back in." There she had said it. Admitted it. She had admitted it to herself and someone else. It felt like something large, inky, and horrible broke inside her.
"There is nothing you could have done," Bill said softly.
Jenni tried hard not to cry as she ran her hand over her long hair. "I know that, but I didn"t even try. I didn"t know what was even happening, but when I heard those horrible noises, I didn"t move. I just stood there." She looked around at the people, noting that Amy sat nearby with her children eating. "How can I possibly ever make up for that?" "You"ve gone out and rescued people. You"ve done a lot."
Jenni sighed, wiping a tear away. "I just...Bill, maybe this is survivor"s guilt, but sometimes, especially now, I feel I should be the one who died."
Bill enfolded her in a big bear hug, holding her tightly. "Jenni, you"re a good girl. You"ve done lots of brave things. Just because you didn"t act the way you wished you had that doesn"t make you a bad person. h.e.l.l, it"s d.a.m.n lucky any of us are alive. It all went to s.h.i.t so fast."
Jenni snuggled into Bill"s warm shoulder and whispered back, "I just feel so guilty."
"Well, don"t. You got a fine boy waiting for you back at the fort and Juan loves you something awful. We"ll get the h.e.l.l out of here and get these people to a good life. You deserve it as much as anyone." Bill gave her a gruff kiss on the cheek and let her go.
Jenni forced a smile, looking around. "I even feel kinda guilty for having been at the fort and not here."
Bill frowned at her. "Jenni, stop that."
Jenni pouted at him then said, "Seriously, Bill. What if I was supposed to die that day? What does that say about my life now?"
"That you got a second chance." Bill shook his head. "Or maybe you were supposed to survive that day so you could help rescue all these people."
Jenni considered this. "You think so?" Her dream returned vividly to her mind.
"Why not? If destiny...fate...whatever has anything to do with our lives, then maybe this is what you were supposed to live to do."
Thinking back on her dream about Lydia, Jenni remembered what she had said about choices made and not made. She was Catholic. She believed in things greater than herself. She believed in the mysteries of the spiritual, therefore, she truly believed Lydia had come to her.
Lydia had said she would soon be afraid and she was now very afraid. She could feel the great clock of fate ticking downward. She knew soon she would face a difficult choice. She hoped she would make the right one and that she would get back to Juan and Jason.
"I guess you"re right. I mean...I made the choice to leave home at seventeen and move in with my grandma. I made the choice to work at Pizza Hut where I met Lloyd. I was married and pregnant with Mikey at eighteen. Was a friendless trophy wife for years. And then it all went to h.e.l.l. I screamed. Katie found me...then...It"s kinda like all these choices I made just..." Jenni waved her hand. "They landed me here."
"To save these folks maybe." Bill shrugged. "Kinda weird seeing all that coming together, huh?"
"I just hope we can get these people to a better life," Jenni said with a sigh.
"We just got the military and zombies standing in our way," Bill decided.
"Piece of cake."
As they finished eating, they heard the sound of the helicopter returning.
Its shadow filled the food court as it flew over the enormous skylight, then it settled down somewhere beyond the mall"s walls.
Jenni stood up to turn in her bowl and spoon to the cleanup crew. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning, Jenni saw the handsome black soldier walking in with a few other people. The bowl and spoon clattered to the floor when she saw Katie and Travis among them.
"Katie!"
Jenni pushed past people and rushed toward her friend. Katie saw her, called out her name and pulled away from Travis. Like some stupid movie, they ran to each other and flung their arms around each other.
Katie squeezed her so tight Jenni could hardly breathe. Pressing kisses to her best friend"s cheek, Jenni felt her tears falling down her face, hot and fierce.
Then Travis was there, hugging her tight, kissing her cheek while Bill bear hugged Katie and lifted her off the ground. They fell into a sort of fourway hug, tears and laughter spilling out of all of them.
"Juan, how is he?" Jenni asked.
"He"s fine," Travis answered with a grin Jenni started to sob with relief as Travis kissed her forehead firmly.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "It sucks here!"
Katie slid her hand gently over Jenni"s cheek, smiling at her softly. "We came to take you guys home."
"And everyone else here," Travis added.
"We"re game," Bill exclaimed. "Tell us what to do!"
Jenni became aware of Kevin and the other soldiers watching them and felt a little uncomfortable.
"They"re with us," Katie a.s.sured Jenni, drawing her close again.
Jenni snuggled into her best friend"s arms, trusting her. For the first time since she entered the mall, she felt a sense of hope.
2. The Spider and the Fly Those around him would make decisions, Lydia had said, and it could lead to their death.
Travis sat solemnly beside Katie in the food court as they waited for Kevin to return with the Senator. Lydia"s words echoed in his mind as he gently stroked the back of his wife"s neck. Her decision to come to the mall had terrified him, but somehow he knew the moment he had read her father"s letter that she would come here. One of the things he loved about Katie was her strength. He had to respect that no matter how difficult.
She looked at him with her clear, beautiful green eyes and smiled at him rea.s.suringly. He smiled back at her and kissed her temple.
Jenni sat on the other side of Katie. Their fingers were intertwined as they sat hip to hip, watching the escalator Kevin had taken to the upper floor.
Travis was relieved to see that Jenni and Bill were still alive. Not that he didn"t mourn the pa.s.sing of Roger and Felix, but in this world it was hard to not feel relieved when those closest to you survived.
Behind them the waterfall rumbled and roared. The rushing of the water sounded comforting. Kevin had briefly explained that the waterfall was constantly recycling its own water. It was their reserve water supply. The mall was on rationed water because a recon mission over the water treatment plant showed severe damage to the facility. There was uncertainty as to how long water would continue to flow or even if it was pure. Soon after the survivors had arrived at the mall, half the children and elderly died from a high fever and flu-like symptoms. All the water given to the people in the mall was now boiled before it was pa.s.sed out.
Even bathing was limited.
Kevin had also solved the mystery of the power at the fort never going down. Evidently a crew was manning the power station with the mall running regular supplies out to them. It was a reminder that the fort was not as cut off as they had originally thought.
The people of the mall kept stealing looks at them. Others just stared openly. Though several people seemed to be working hard at mopping, he noted they were actually spending more time watching them.
The light spilling through the enormous skylight above was somewhat comforting. All the mall doorways were blacked out. Travis supposed it was to keep the people from seeing the hordes of zombies outside. He had been horrified when he had seen the sheer number. How the soldiers had kept them at bay so long was beyond him. As the helicopter had swung over the mall, he had felt his chest tighten with fear. He had gripped Katie"s hand even tighter.
He madly loved her and their baby growing in her womb. They were his life and he realized he would do anything to protect them. Yet, here they were, at the mall, and his rationale not to fight with Katie over her decision was based on his dream about Lydia.
He wasn"t sure if it was the wisest thing to put stock in a dream about a ghost, but somehow he believed it had revealed a vital truth.
"It"s so rough here," Jenni said to Katie. "There was no hope before Bill and I told them about the fort. FEMA just abandoned them at the rescue center and the Senator is a total b.i.t.c.h."
"Yeah, I know. I"ve met her more than once. She plays the political game very well, but after three gla.s.ses of wine, she made it pretty clear how bigoted she can be. Of course, that was back when she was just a city council member. She gave me h.e.l.l over Lydia," Katie answered. "She had a real issue with "special rights" for gays as she put it. She couldn"t see that we just wanted the same rights as everyone else."
"She"s a total bigot. She makes the Mexicans go and do ch.o.r.es outside.
See that guy over there. His name is Miguel. He told me that she said in English in front of him that the Mexicans shouldn"t get any a.s.sistance since they are not American citizens. The Major General overruled her since the Mexicans do ch.o.r.es too, but then she stuck them outside. She"s such an idiot. She didn"t realize Miguel is Texas born and speaks fluent English. She treats all the Hispanics like border jumpers." Jenni made a face and shook her head. "Like even that should make a difference."
Bill leaned in. "Nothing here is right. It"s a h.e.l.lhole."
Katie sighed. "I wish Dad would come down. I want to see he is doing okay."
"I"m sure he will come see you as soon as he hears you are here," Travis a.s.sured her.
Katie smiled anxiously. "I know, I just want to see him."
At the top of the escalator a throng of suited men and a woman appeared.
Everyone was in drab colors except the Senator who was dressed in a bright red coatdress. Her blond hair fluffed around her head. She descended with a large smile on her face. Travis noted that the woman was wearing diamonds in her ears and they flashed as she moved.
Slowly, he stood up, Katie rising as well. Jenni reluctantly stood, but Bill remained seated.
"Welcome to the Madison Mall Rescue Center," the Senator said. She walked up to them, extending her hand. "I"m Senator Paige Brightman."
"Travis Buchanan and my wife, Katie," Travis answered, shaking her hand briefly. It felt dry and cold.
"Katie?" The Senator raised a thin eyebrow. "Katie Kiel?" She laughed a bright, amused smile. "I see you came back to the other side of the fence."
Travis could literally feel Katie"s cold anger rising like a wave.
"My wife died the first day," Katie answered tersely.
"Oh, I see. I"m sorry," the Senator answered in a tone that Travis pegged as false. She looked toward Travis and gave him a wink. "But you found a strapping handsome man I see."
He could see Katie"s eyes glittering with anger and unexpected tears. He took her hand gently to soothe her.
"And I was lucky enough to find a wonderful woman who has a heart open enough to love without discrimination," Travis responded.
The Senator raised both eyebrows and laughed. "Or there just weren"t any other lesbians around, huh?"
"My personal life is not at issue here, Senator," Katie said coldly.
"No, no, it"s not. But it is a shame about Lydia. She was one of the best interior designers in Texas."
Travis tightened his grip on Katie"s hand to keep her from punching the Senator.
A tall man, with white hair and an imposing face, pushed through the Senator"s entourage closely followed by Kevin. Silently, without a word, he shoved the Senator aside and gathered Katie up into his arms.
"Dad," Katie whispered. The tears that had threatened to spill before now streamed down her face. "Dad."
The white haired man, who Travis now realized was Bruce Kiel, kissed Katie"s cheek and held her tightly. "Katie-girl, it"s so good to see you."
Despite his very intimidating exterior, the man was weeping.
"Dad, I can"t believe you"re here," Katie said in a happy voice and kissed his cheek.
"I"m so sorry about Lydia, baby," Bruce said.
"I know, Dad," Katie answered. She reached out to grab Travis" arm. "I want you to meet Travis, Dad. He"s my husband now."
There are moments you wonder about. Where will you find your life mate? How will you know it"s her? How will you feel when you meet her family? Jenni, his sort of sister in law, had been hard enough to deal with at times, but when Bruce Kiel fastened ice blue eyes on Travis it scared him almost s.h.i.tless. Then the stern man smiled, took his hand and pumped it in a handshake.
"Good to meet you, son," Bruce said in his deep voice. "If Katie chose you, you have to be one h.e.l.luva person. She"s a connoisseur of the best people."
"It is a pleasure to meet you and find out that you survived," Travis answered, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
"And see, she"s having a baby!" Jenni couldn"t keep out of it any longer and patted Katie"s swelling belly.
Bruce grinned and put his hand gently on his daughter"s stomach. "I"m thrilled, Katie."