"I know," Katie said softly. "I know."
The announcement from the Senator came about an hour before dinner.
"I realize that many of you have chosen to depart for the fort. This is understandable since you are desperate to escape the zombie scourge and the conditions here have not been easy. But what you need to consider is that you may be exchanging one haven you are not completely happy with for one that is in a worse condition. The reason why I want to take over the fort is to ensure that all the surviving citizens of this great State and this great Country are given a fair and equal chance to fulfill their patriotic duty. To ensure that all the citizens of this mall and the fort have strong and capable leadership in the coming years. I have worked hard for this State and its people. I am an experienced and strong leader. I believe in this country and its people. I know that this has been a rough time for all of us, but help me appeal to the fledgling leaders of the fort and help them see that true leadership will be best for all of us. I am in contact with the President and what remains of our government. They care about what happens to you and they have a.s.sured me that they will do all they can to a.s.sist us once we are at the fort."
"So why aren"t they helping us now," Guadalupe said loudly, waving her cane at the nearest speaker A few people laughed as the Senator"s voice droned on.
"...together, unified, we can withstand all that comes against us. Do not give up hope. America will rise again and the President and the remains of the government are dedicated to helping you."
More laughter.
Jenni rolled her eyes.
Bill just shook his head.
"Come stand with me. Come to the top floor and let the leaders of the fort see that you want a strong, powerful new home. To be part of the rebuilding of America and the great state of Texas. Come, join me, and let"s begin a new world together."
There were murmurs from the people crowded down on the first floor. A few people made jokes, others looked serious. No one seemed anxious to join the Senator.
"I think this is a pretty good answer," Katie said after ten minutes and still no one had attempted to go upstairs.
Travis just looked somber, his arms folded across his chest. He could see soldiers on the second floor, patrolling the escalators. It was still uncertain if those men would do anything to hinder them. Kevin had explained to him that the Senator had made grandiose promises to all the soldiers. A few were still holding on. It was hard to let go of the hope that somehow you would find your family and friends alive. Travis understood that far too well. Beyond that, some people found it hard to give up their faith in the old inst.i.tutions. It was hard for some people to stop believing in their superiors.
At around eight PM, Kevin finally decided to see if the Senator had reconsidered joining them peacefully or if she was going to stay behind.
He and Valerie started up the escalator, both of them bone weary and just wanting the day to be over.
"She won"t come with us," Valerie said softly. "She"s too proud."
"It doesn"t seem right somehow to just leave them here," Kevin answered, his eyes on the men at the top of the escalator.
"I have no problem leaving her here," Valerie a.s.sured him. She looked back over the people in the mall. There was excitement in their voices and people were carefully packing just one bag to take with them to the fort.
"She"ll just f.u.c.k things up at the fort."
They were almost to the top when one of the National Guardsmen came into view. He was from East Texas and determined to get there, one way or the other. Snapping off his weapon"s safety, he aimed at Kevin and Valerie.
"Go back down," he said firmly.
"We"re just coming to ask the Senator to come with us," Kevin answered.
"You made your choice. Now go back down," the man repeated.
"Ben," Valerie said softly.
"I said go back down. I have no problem shooting either one of you."
Kevin could see from the look in the man"s eye that he meant it. "Okay,"
he said softly. "Okay." Turning, he calmly walked back down the moving stairs to the main floor, Valerie close at his side.
"Told you," Valerie said.
"Yeah, I know." Kevin sighed. "We did our best."
* * * * * Katie and Jenni shoved Jenni and Bill"s cots into the corner of the store and set about inflating an air mattress for Katie and Travis to sleep on.
"I can"t wait to get back to Juan tomorrow," Jenni said as she fluffed a pillow.
"Sorry you have to wait until tomorrow." Katie frowned as she sat on the air mattress, tucking her hair behind her ears. "But with the fuel being limited and all that."
"I understand. h.e.l.l, I"m not too happy about you and Travis being here tonight. It sucks here," Jenni flopped onto her cot and tucked her hands behind her neck.
"It feels a lot different from the fort," Katie conceded.
"It was worse before the people began to have hopes about the fort. It was very gloomy. Everyone just waiting around for something bad to happen." Jenni rubbed the tip of her nose and exhaled. "The atmosphere is a lot more claustrophobic. It feels like the first day never ended here."
"Yeah. That"s it. That is the feeling." Katie looked around the store.
"That is exactly how it feels. Like we should be out on the road running away from the city."
"About to find Ralph and Nerit at the gun store." Jenni rolled onto her side. "Do you have any regrets about the first day?"
Katie returned her gaze to Jenni"s face, nodding. "Oh, yeah. Two actually.
I just don"t like talking about it. It seems fruitless. Useless."
"You don"t have to tell me," Jenni a.s.sured her, reaching out to touch her hand.
"I really haven"t told this to anyone. I haven"t even thought about it too much." Katie rubbed her shoulder as she searched for words. "The morning it all went to h.e.l.l, I was getting into my car. Lydia and I had just kissed goodbye and she was drinking her morning coffee. We were talking about our plans for the night and we noticed, through the trees and bushes lining our front yard, that our neighbor was stumbling up the walk to his front door. He was always getting trashed with his business buddies and coming home in the morning. We saw him fall over a bush then get up and start banging on the huge plate gla.s.s window they had in the front of their house. We laughed about it and I told Lydia I"d see her later. I drove off."
Jenni"s mouth formed an "o" as she understood what Katie was telling her. "The neighbor..."
"I think she went over to see if he was okay. I saw him when I went home after being attacked. He was attacking the mail man, too." Katie shoved her hair back from her face, holding her head, her eyes unfocused as she remembered the painful moment. "That is my second regret. I didn"t kill the zombie Lydia had become. I didn"t give her peace."
Gripping Katie"s hand tightly, Jenni kissed her fingers. "I think you gave her more peace than you know. I think she"s okay. In fact, I dreamed about her a few nights ago."
Katie arched an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah, she was telling me that I had to make some hard choices soon."
Jenni didn"t think Katie"s eyes could widen anymore than they were.
"Really?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Travis dreamed about her and she said something really similar."
This didn"t surprise Jenni. She was now convinced that she was fulfilling her destiny in a way she did not understand. The mall had forced her to face some terrible demons from her past, but now she had laid them to rest. She couldn"t live with guilt or regret or fear. Fear had stolen too many precious opportunities from her as it was. She now realized that what she had been running from was exactly what she needed to confront.
For the first time since the zombies rose, she felt sane. She felt solid inside of her own mind. No, she was not the Jenni that existed before she married that wife-abusing a.s.shole, but she also wasn"t the abused housewife anymore. She wasn"t even the loca zombie killer, trying to get revenge against the dead for the death of her family. Strangely, she now realized after a few days in the mall that she was more than the sum total of her life"s heartbreaks and torments. Looking into the faces of the people around her, she accepted that she was stronger than she ever realized and the choices she made had to be her own. She could no longer let life just sweep her along.
"What is it, Jenni? You look odd."
"I"m okay. Probably better than I have been in a long time," Jenni answered. "I figured a lot out while here. Seeing what could have been, pondering what could have happened. I"ve been in loca mode so much since it all went down, I don"t think it ever hit me that maybe I am still alive because my life is important in some way I don"t understand." She fingered the rosary around her neck. Juan"s mother had given it to her before she had left for the hospital. "Do you ever feel that way?"
Katie smiled slightly. "I always felt I was supposed to save you. That it was my destiny. Or maybe just a way to keep me focused so I would survive that first day."
"My grandmother always told me that G.o.d had a plan for everyone"s life.
I don"t think I really believed her until now. But then again, I don"t think the world was supposed to die. I don"t think that was G.o.d, but man. I think we did it."
"Probably." Katie twirled her wedding ring around her finger thoughtfully. "Lydia was a Buddhist. I was raised Methodist. We didn"t get into a lot of spiritual talks, but we did agree that this life is precious and that we need to do our best, be our best in this lifetime. When I saw she was dead, I felt so lost. And then I heard you scream. And there you were. I could save you. And by saving you, I saved myself."
Jenni took Katie"s hands gently in her own. "We"re saving these people tomorrow and in a way I think we"re saving ourselves. We"re making a new world for all of us."
"It won"t be easy," Katie reminded her.
"Nah, but it will be the right thing." Jenni grinned and kissed her friend"s hands again. Pressing her cheek against Katie"s palms, she closed her eyes, sighing. "I like that. Doing the right thing."
Katie smiled down at her. "It"s the only thing we can do."
Pulling away and lying down on her cot, Jenni sighed with contentment.
"I can"t wait to see Juan tomorrow. I want him to see I"m okay now. No more fear. No more regrets. I"m okay now." The thought of telling him those words made her smile. "Tomorrow will be a beautiful day."
* * * * * Outside, the moon rose. The pale white light flowed over the undead gathered around the mall, smashing their hands against the once white wall now a mottled black and dark red. Inside, the moonlight poured through the mall skylights washing over the sleeping forms of the people tucked away inside.
2. Exit the Wickedest Woman in Texas In the gray dawn, the Senator and her people quietly walked down the employee staircase to the floor below. One of her guards swung the double doors open and she stepped out in front of the blacked out doors that were the main entrance of the mall. She stood at the pinnacle of the top of the "A" shape of the mall and smiled to herself.
"Sure about this?" Raleigh asked.
"Very sure," she answered.
The Major General was awkwardly absent, but she had explained he had second thoughts and had chosen to remain behind. In reality, they had fallen into a horrible row and she had shot him through the head without a second thought. She didn"t have time for his bulls.h.i.t.
The painted blackened door swung open and the low moan of the zombies beyond the wall filled her ears for a moment. One of her men entered, looking flushed and anxious.
"Okay, the guards are neutralized. We got two trucks pulled from the side parking lot. I don"t think we were spotted."
"Good," the Senator said with a smile. "Well done."
"We should pull the guards in," the soldier continued. "So they won"t get killed."
"Excellent point. Pull them inside," the Senator responded with a big smile.
Raleigh was fidgeting, staring down the darkened mall corridor toward the silent stores where the people slept. "If we blow the front gate..."
"The zombies can"t get in. And besides, the two sides are blocked off. It"ll be fine," the Senator a.s.sured him.
The mall parking lot was a trapezoid with the main entrance at the narrowest end. This gate had never been a major concern since the gate was solid metal and locked securely. The three gates in the parking lot behind the mall were more of a concern because they were wrought iron and had to be fortified with vehicles and heavily barricaded. The two narrow side parking lots had been blocked off as a preventative measure in case of a breach. It was thought they should try to keep the zombies contained on one side of the mall and escape through the other.
Transports had been parked along the side of the mall in the front. Buses and transports and regular cars were on the other. All the gates were wired with explosives. Additional explosives had been tossed out on a line and their triggers were next to the interior of the gate. The idea was to blow the gate then the explosives out in the crowd of zombie to clear a path.
"I would really hate for these people to end up dead," Raleigh said after a beat.
"I didn"t know you were such a bleeding heart," the Senator teased him lightly. She watched as her men dragged in the unconscious guards from the main gate and laid them on the floor.
"Just none of this feels right," Raleigh decided. He shook his head, gazing at the guards.
"They made their choice," the Senator said, her eyes hard. "In one month we would have been out of food and the water is contaminated. Without the fort there is no point in us staying here."
"There should have been another way. This seems too risky."
"Do you want to go to Central or not? Or do you want to go to the fort and be led by the hicks?"
Raleigh frowned, then shook his head. "I just want us out of here."
"We"ll get control of the fort. At some point they"ll be begging Central for help and we"ll have to go and save them."
"Yeah. Yeah. You"re right." He looked around nervously, his hands shaking slightly.
She always thought he was way too skittish. He was good at the campaign, but he liked to be apart from the process, ensconced in his privileged world. He hated dealing with the people that were behind his carefully monitored statistics and polls. The Senator didn"t care much for the people either. She was in politics for two reasons: power and the knowledge that the peons really didn"t know how the h.e.l.l to take care of themselves. Without the government, she knew they would fall into chaos.
Mistakes had been made here. That was true. But she learned from her mistakes and she would move on. Once at Central, she would make sure the President understood her giving nature and her determination to stand with him and rebuild America.
"Ma"am, you ready?"
She flashed her perfect beautiful smile at the soldier in front of her. "Yes, sir. I am."
He opened the door for her and she walked out to the waiting truck.
* * * * * "You"re here for a reason," Lydia"s voice whispered.
Katie forced her eyes open.
Her dead wife sat on the floor next to the air bed she was sharing with Travis.
"Lydia?" Katie sat up, the mattress rippling like a wave under her.
"h.e.l.lo, darling."
"Lydia!" Katie stumbled to her knees and flung her arms around her wife.
She could feel the softness of Lydia"s curves beneath the long black jersey dress and her long dangling earrings tickled Katie"s cheek. "I"m so sorry!
I"m so sorry. I didn"t make it home in time!"