As You Like It

Chapter 2

ORLANDO. You mean to mock me after; you should not have mock"d me before; but come your ways.

ROSALIND. Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!

CELIA. I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg. [They wrestle]

ROSALIND. O excellent young man!

CELIA. If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.

[CHARLES is thrown. Shout]

FREDERICK. No more, no more.

ORLANDO. Yes, I beseech your Grace; I am not yet well breath"d.

FREDERICK. How dost thou, Charles?

LE BEAU. He cannot speak, my lord.

FREDERICK. Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

ORLANDO. Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

FREDERICK. I would thou hadst been son to some man else.

The world esteem"d thy father honourable, But I did find him still mine enemy.

Thou shouldst have better pleas"d me with this deed, Hadst thou descended from another house.

But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth; I would thou hadst told me of another father.

Exeunt DUKE, train, and LE BEAU CELIA. Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

ORLANDO. I am more proud to be Sir Rowland"s son, His youngest son- and would not change that calling To be adopted heir to Frederick.

ROSALIND. My father lov"d Sir Rowland as his soul, And all the world was of my father"s mind; Had I before known this young man his son, I should have given him tears unto entreaties Ere he should thus have ventur"d.

CELIA. Gentle cousin, Let us go thank him, and encourage him; My father"s rough and envious disposition Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserv"d; If you do keep your promises in love But justly as you have exceeded all promise, Your mistress shall be happy.

ROSALIND. Gentleman, [Giving him a chain from her neck]

Wear this for me; one out of suits with fortune, That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

Shall we go, coz?

CELIA. Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.

ORLANDO. Can I not say "I thank you"? My better parts Are all thrown down; and that which here stands up Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.

ROSALIND. He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes; I"ll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown More than your enemies.

CELIA. Will you go, coz?

ROSALIND. Have with you. Fare you well.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA ORLANDO. What pa.s.sion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urg"d conference.

O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

Re-enter LE BEAU

LE BEAU. Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you To leave this place. Albeit you have deserv"d High commendation, true applause, and love, Yet such is now the Duke"s condition That he misconstrues all that you have done.

The Duke is humorous; what he is, indeed, More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.

ORLANDO. I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this: Which of the two was daughter of the Duke That here was at the wrestling?

LE BEAU. Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners; But yet, indeed, the smaller is his daughter; The other is daughter to the banish"d Duke, And here detain"d by her usurping uncle, To keep his daughter company; whose loves Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.

But I can tell you that of late this Duke Hath ta"en displeasure "gainst his gentle niece, Grounded upon no other argument But that the people praise her for her virtues And pity her for her good father"s sake; And, on my life, his malice "gainst the lady Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.

Hereafter, in a better world than this, I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.

ORLANDO. I rest much bounden to you; fare you well.

Exit LE BEAU Thus must I from the smoke into the smother; From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.

But heavenly Rosalind! Exit

SCENE III.

The DUKE"s palace

Enter CELIA and ROSALIND

CELIA. Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy!

Not a word?

ROSALIND. Not one to throw at a dog.

CELIA. No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon curs; throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons.

ROSALIND. Then there were two cousins laid up, when the one should be lam"d with reasons and the other mad without any.

CELIA. But is all this for your father?

ROSALIND. No, some of it is for my child"s father. O, how full of briers is this working-day world!

CELIA. They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in holiday foolery; if we walk not in the trodden paths, our very petticoats will catch them.

ROSALIND. I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my heart.

CELIA. Hem them away.

ROSALIND. I would try, if I could cry "hem" and have him.

CELIA. Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.

ROSALIND. O, they take the part of a better wrestler than myself.

CELIA. O, a good wish upon you! You will try in time, in despite of a fall. But, turning these jests out of service, let us talk in good earnest. Is it possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland"s youngest son?

ROSALIND. The Duke my father lov"d his father dearly.

CELIA. Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son dearly?

By this kind of chase I should hate him, for my father hated his father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando.

ROSALIND. No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.

CELIA. Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with LORDS

ROSALIND. Let me love him for that; and do you love him because I do. Look, here comes the Duke.

CELIA. With his eyes full of anger.

FREDERICK. Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste, And get you from our court.

ROSALIND. Me, uncle?

FREDERICK. You, cousin.

Within these ten days if that thou beest found So near our public court as twenty miles, Thou diest for it.

ROSALIND. I do beseech your Grace, Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.

If with myself I hold intelligence, Or have acquaintance with mine own desires; If that I do not dream, or be not frantic- As I do trust I am not- then, dear uncle, Never so much as in a thought unborn Did I offend your Highness.

FREDERICK. Thus do all traitors; If their purgation did consist in words, They are as innocent as grace itself.

Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.

ROSALIND. Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor.

Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.

FREDERICK. Thou art thy father"s daughter; there"s enough.

ROSALIND. So was I when your Highness took his dukedom; So was I when your Highness banish"d him.

Treason is not inherited, my lord; Or, if we did derive it from our friends, What"s that to me? My father was no traitor.

Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much To think my poverty is treacherous.

CELIA. Dear sovereign, hear me speak.

FREDERICK. Ay, Celia; we stay"d her for your sake, Else had she with her father rang"d along.

CELIA. I did not then entreat to have her stay; It was your pleasure, and your own remorse; I was too young that time to value her, But now I know her. If she be a traitor, Why so am I: we still have slept together, Rose at an instant, learn"d, play"d, eat together; And wheresoe"er we went, like Juno"s swans, Still we went coupled and inseparable.

FREDERICK. She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness, Her very silence and her patience, Speak to the people, and they pity her.

Thou art a fool. She robs thee of thy name; And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.

Firm and irrevocable is my doom Which I have pa.s.s"d upon her; she is banish"d.

CELIA. p.r.o.nounce that sentence, then, on me, my liege; I cannot live out of her company.

FREDERICK. You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself.

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