"Jimmie, you haven"t any soul!" I said, in disgust.
Jimmie grunted.
A knock on the door.
"Please excuse me for interrupting you," said Mary, "but there are two reporters down-stairs, who want to know if they may photograph the front of the house for the Sunday _Battle Ax_."
"Yes, I don"t care. Tell them to go ahead."
She shut the door and went away.
_Mr. and Mrs. Jimmie at Canterbury_.
"Oh, Jimmie," sighed his wife.
Another knock.
"Mary, what _do_ you want?" I said, savagely.
She stuttered.
"And please, Missis, they want to know if you will just come and sit on the doorstep a moment with a book in your hand. I told them Mr.
Jardine wasn"t at home, so they said you would do!"
"No, I won"t. Tell my sister to put on my hat and hold the book in front of her face and be photographed for me."
"Very well, Missis."
She went out, and again I numbered the page and essayed to write. But I could not. I was rapidly becoming mired. I stonily refused to leave my desk, but sat staring at the wall, trying to get the thread of my narrative, when--Mary again.
She was in tears.
"I am afraid to speak to you, and I am afraid _not_ to speak to you,"
she stammered.
"Well, what is it?"
"Indeed, I try, Missis, but I can"t seem to help you any. There are two young girls in the drawing-room, who want to know if Mr. Jardine will give his autograph to the Highland Alumnae Club. It has 472 members. They sent up their cards."
I simply moaned.
"That will be a whole hour"s work! I can"t do it now. (Mary knows I always write Aubrey"s autographs for him!) Tell them to leave the cards and call for them to-morrow."
_Mr. and Mrs. Jimmie at Canterbury_.
"How in the world, Mrs. Jimmie, did you come to throw yourself away on Jimmie?" I said, with an impertinence which was only appreciated by Jimmie.
Mrs. Jimmie took me with infinite seriousness, and looked horrified at the sacrilege. She got up and crossed the room and sat down beside Jimmie on the sofa, without saying a word. Her tall, full figure towered above the gentlemanly slouch of Jimmie"s boyish proportions, and her thus silently arraying herself on Jimmie"s side as a wordless rebuke to my impertinence was so delicious that Jimmie gave me a solemn wink, as he said:
"Now she has only voiced the opinion of the world. Let us face the question once for all. Why did you marry me?"
Mrs. Jimmie coloured all over her creamy pale face. She looked in distress from me to Jimmie, divided between her desire to express in one burst of eloquence the fulness of her reasons for marrying the man she adored, and her reluctance to display emotion before me. She took everything with such edifying gravity. It never dawned on her that he was teasing her.
"Don"t torment her so!" I said. "Mrs. Jimmie, I admire your taste, but I admire Jimmie"s more."
"Thank you, dear," she said, seriously, but still with that soft blush on her cheeks. Then she added, quietly, "Jimmie never torments me."
"_Mon Dieu_," I said, under my breath, with a fierce glance at Jimmie.
But he only shook his head, as one would who had not "fetched it" that time, but who meant to keep on trying.
Another knock. Mary again, with the mail. She was swallowing violently, and her eyes were full of tears. I took up the letters and tore them open.
Sixteen requests for autographs, only one enclosing a stamp. Twelve letters from young girls, telling Aubrey their stellar capabilities.
Four requests for photographs. Some personal letters, and this choice effusion, which I copy _verbatim et spellatim_.
"DEAR SIR: Please tell me how you Study human natur do you travle extensively through close Social relations or do you Study phenology.
You ill.u.s.trate it So accrately that I would be pleased to know your method and if you don"t think I am too cheeky, would be pleased to know your income. I remain yours with respect."
I gave a little shriek of delight, and rushed back to the Jimmies with renewed enthusiasm. This unknown man had inspired me afresh.
_Mr. and Mrs. Jimmie at Canterbury_.
But although Jimmie growls, there is no one in the world who is so excellent a travelling companion as he, for he is always ready for everything. You cannot suggest any jaunt too wild or too impossible for Jimmie not to bend his energies toward making it possible. The chief reason that Mrs. Jimmie likes me so much is because I admire Jimmie, and the reason that Jimmie likes me is because I adore Mrs.
Jimmie.
So I was not at all surprised to find ourselves at Canterbury on Sat.u.r.day afternoon, after a short run from London through one of the loveliest counties of England. Such bewitching shades of green. Such lovely little hills,--friendly, companionable little hills. I can"t bear mountains. It is like trying to be intimate with queens and empresses. They overpower me.
Canterbury was enchanted ground to me. We found the very old cellar over which stood the Canterbury Inn. I could picture the whole thing to myself. I even reconciled Chaucer"s spelling with the quaintness and curiousness of the old, old town.
We strolled up to St. Martin"s Church, said to be the oldest church in England, and wandered around the churchyard, filled with glorious roses creeping everywhere over tombs so old that the lettering is illegible.
When the sun set, we had the most beautiful view of Canterbury to be had anywhere, and one of the most beautiful in all England.
We sat down to a cold supper that night in a charming little inn with diamond-paned windows. But as Jimmie loves Paris cooking and would almost barter his chances of heaven for a smoking dish of _sole a la Normande_ at the Cafe Marguery, he cast looks of deep aversion at a side table loaded with all sorts of cold and jellied meats. His choice of evils finally fell upon chicken, and to the purple-faced waiter with blue-white eyes, who asked what part of the fowl he would prefer, Jimmie said:
"The second joint."
The waiter frowned and went away. Presently he came back and asked Jimmie over again, and again Jimmie said, "The second joint."
He went away and came back with a fine cut of beef.