"And I"ve no time for explanations," she replied, with exasperating calmness; "you can think it over at your leisure."
With a contemptuous "Humph!" Mr. Underwood left the house. After he had gone his sister sat for a while in deep thought, then, with a sigh, rose and went about her accustomed duties. She had been far more keen than her brother to observe the growing intimacy between her niece and Darrell, and she had seen some indications on the previous evening which troubled her, as much on Darrell"s account as Kate"s, for she had become deeply attached to the young man, and she well knew that her brother would not look upon him with favor as a suitor for his daughter.
Meanwhile, Darrell, on reaching the office, found work and study alike impossible. The room seemed narrow and stifling; the medley of sound from the adjoining offices and from the street was distracting. He recalled the companions of his earlier days of pain and conflict,--the mountains,--and his heart yearned for their restful silence, for the soothing and uplifting of their solemn presence.
Having left a brief note on Mr. Underwood"s desk he closed his office, and, leaving the city behind him, started on foot up the familiar canyon road. After a walk of an hour or more he left the road, and, striking into a steep, narrow trail, began the ascent of one of the mountains of the main range. It still lacked a little of midday when he at last found himself on a narrow bench, near the summit, in a small growth of pines and firs. He stopped from sheer exhaustion and looked about him. Not a sign of human life was visible; not a sound broke the stillness save an occasional breath of air murmuring through the pines and the trickling of a tiny rivulet over the rocks just above where he stood. Going to the little stream he caught the crystal drops as they fell, quenching his thirst and bathing his heated brow; then, somewhat refreshed, he braced himself for the inevitable conflict.
Slowly he paced up and down the rocky ledge, giving no heed to the pa.s.sage of time, all his faculties centred upon the struggle between the inexorable demands of conscience on the one hand and the insatiate cravings of a newly awakened pa.s.sion on the other. Vainly he strove to find some middle ground. Gradually, as his brain grew calm, the various courses of action which had at first suggested themselves to his mind appeared weak and cowardly, and the only course open to him was that of renunciation and of self-immolation.
With a bitter cry he threw himself, face downward, upon the ground. A long time he lay there, till at last the peace from the great pitying heart of Nature touched his heart, and he slept on the warm bosom of Mother Earth as a child on its mother"s breast.
The sun was sinking towards the western ranges and slowly lengthening shadows were creeping athwart the distant valleys when Darrell rose to his feet and, after silently drinking in the beauty of the scene about him, prepared to descend. His face bore traces of the recent struggle, but it was the face of one who had conquered, whose mastery of himself was beyond all doubt or question. He took the homeward trail with firm step, with head erect, with face set and determined, and there was in his bearing that which indicated that there would be no wavering, no swerving from his purpose. His own hand had closed and bolted the gates of the Eden whose sweets he had but just tasted, and his conscience held the flaming sword which was henceforth to guard those portals.
A little later, as Darrell in the early twilight pa.s.sed up the driveway to The Pines, he was conscious only of a dull, leaden weight within his breast; his very senses seemed benumbed and he almost believed himself incapable of further suffering, till, as he approached the house, the sight of Kate seated in the veranda with her father and aunt and the thought of the suffering yet in store for her thrilled him anew with most poignant pain.
His face was in the shadow as he came up the steps, and only Kate, seated near him, saw its pallor. She started and would have uttered an exclamation, but something in its expression awed and restrained her.
There was a grave tenderness in his eyes as they met hers, but the light and joy which had been there when last she looked into them had gone out and in their place were dark gloom and despair. She heard as in a dream his answers to the inquiries of her father and aunt; heard him pa.s.s into the house accompanied by her aunt, who had prepared a substantial lunch against his return, and, with a strange sinking at her heart, sat silently awaiting his coming out.
It had been a trying day for her. On waking, her happiness had seemed complete, but Darrell"s absence on that morning of all mornings had seemed to her inexplicable, and when her guests had taken their departure and the long day wore on without his return and with no message from him, an indefinable dread haunted her. She had watched eagerly for Darrell"s return, believing that one look into his face would banish her forebodings, but, instead, she had read there only a confirmation of her fears. And now she waited in suspense, longing, yet dreading to hear his step.
At last he came, and, as he faced the light, Kate was shocked at the change which so few hours had wrought. He, too, was touched by the piteous appeal in her eyes, and there was a rare tenderness in voice and smile as he suggested a stroll through the grounds according to their custom, which somewhat rea.s.sured her.
Perhaps Mr. Underwood and his sister had observed the old shadow of gloom in Darrell"s face, and surmised something of its cause, for their eyes followed the young people in their walk up and down under the pines and a softened look stole into their usually impa.s.sive faces. At last, as they pa.s.sed out of sight on one of the mountain terraces, Mrs. Dean said, with slight hesitation,--
"Did it ever occur to you, David, that Katherine and Mr. Darrell are thrown in each other"s society a great deal?"
Mr. Underwood shot a keen glance at his sister from under his heavy brows, as he replied,--
"Come to think of it, I suppose they are, though I can"t say as I"ve ever given the matter much thought."
"Perhaps it"s time you did think about it."
"Come, Marcia," said her brother, good-humoredly, "come to the point; are you, woman-like, scenting a love-affair in that direction?"
Mrs. Dean found herself unexpectedly cornered. "I don"t say that there is, but I don"t know what else you could expect of two young folks like them, thrown together constantly as they are."
"Well," said Mr. Underwood, with an air of comic perplexity, "do you want me to send Darrell adrift, or shall I pack Puss off to a convent?"
"Now, David, I"m serious," his sister remonstrated, mildly. "Of course, I don"t know that anything will come of it; but if you don"t want that anything should, I think it"s your duty, for Katherine"s sake and Mr.
Darrell"s also, to prevent it. I think too much of them both to see any trouble come to either of them."
Mr. Underwood puffed at his pipe in silence, while the gleaming needles in his sister"s fingers clicked with monotonous regularity. When he spoke his tones lacked their usual brusqueness and had an element almost of gentleness.
"Was this what was in your mind this morning, Marcia?"
"Well, maybe so," his sister a.s.sented.
"I don"t think, Marcia, that I need any one to tell me my duty, especially regarding my child. I have my own plans for her future, and I will allow nothing to interfere with them. And as for John Darrell, he has the good, sterling sense to know that anything more than friendship between him and Kate is not to be thought of for a moment, and I can trust to his honor as a gentleman that he will not go beyond it. So I rather think your anxieties are groundless."
"Perhaps so," his sister answered, doubtfully, "but young folks are not generally governed much by common sense in things of this kind; and then you know, David, Katherine is different from us,--she grows more and more like her mother,--and if she once got her heart set on any one, I don"t think anybody--even you--could make her change."
The muscles of Mr. Underwood"s face suddenly contracted as though by acute pain.
"That will do, Marcia," he said, gravely, with a silencing wave of his hand; "there is no need to call up the past. I know Kate is like her mother, but she has my blood in her veins also,--enough that when the time comes she"ll not let any childish sentimentality stand in the way of what I think is for her good."
Mrs. Dean silently folded her knitting and rose to go into the house. At the door, however, she paused, and, looking back at her brother, said, in her low, even tones,--
"I have said my last word of this affair, David, no matter what comes of it. You think you understand Katherine better than I, but you may find some day that it"s better to prevent trouble than to try to cure it."
Meanwhile, Darrell and Kate had reached their favorite seat beneath the pines and, after one or two futile attempts at talking, had lapsed into a constrained silence. To Kate there came a sudden realization that the merely friendly relations heretofore existing between them had been swept away; that henceforth she must either give the man at her side the concentrated affection of her whole being or, should he prove unworthy,--she glanced at his haggard face and could not complete the supposition even to herself. He was troubled, and her tender heart longed to comfort him, but his strange appearance held her back. At one word, one sign of love from him, she would have thrown herself upon his breast and begged to share his burden in true woman fashion; but he was so cold, so distant; he did not even take her hand as in the careless, happy days before either of them thought of love.
Kate could endure the silence no longer, and ventured some timid word of loving sympathy.
Darrell turned, facing her, his dark eyes strangely hollow and sunken.
"Yes," he said, in a low voice, "G.o.d knows I have suffered since I saw you, but I deserve to suffer for having so far forgotten myself last night. That is not what is troubling me now; it is the thought of the sorrow and wretchedness I have brought into your pure, innocent life,--that you must suffer for my folly, my wrong-doing."
"But," interposed Kate, "I don"t understand; what wrong have you done?"
"Kathie," he answered, brokenly, "it was all a mistake--a terrible mistake of mine! Can you forgive me? Can you forget? G.o.d grant you can!"
"Forgive! Forget!" she exclaimed, in bewildered tones; "a mistake?" her voice faltered and she paused, her face growing deathly pale.
"I cannot think," he continued, "how I came to so forget myself, the circ.u.mstances under which I am here, the kindness you and your people have shown me, and the trust they have reposed in me. I must have been beside myself. But I have no excuse to offer; I can only ask your forgiveness, and that I may, so far as possible, undo what has been done."
While he was speaking she had drawn away from him, and, sitting proudly erect, she scanned his face in the waning light as though to read there the full significance of his meaning. Her cheeks blanched at his last words, but there was no tremor in her tones as she replied,--
"I understand you to refer to what occurred last night; is that what you wish undone--what you would have me forget?"
"I would give worlds if only it might be undone," he answered, "but that is an impossibility. Oh Kathie, I know how monstrous, how cruel this must seem to you, but it is the only honorable course left me after my stupidity, my cursed folly; and, believe me, it is far more of a kindness even to you to stop this wretched business right here than to carry it farther."
"It is not necessary to consider my feelings in the matter, Mr. Darrell.
If, as you say, you found yourself mistaken, to attempt after that to carry on what could only be a mere farce would be simply unpardonable. A mistake I could forgive; a deliberate deception, never!"
The tones, so unlike Kate"s, caused Darrell to turn in pained surprise.
The deepening shadows hid the white, drawn face and quivering lips; he saw only the motionless, slender figure held so rigidly erect.
"But, Kathie--Miss Underwood--you must have misunderstood me," he said, earnestly. "I have acted foolishly, but in no way falsely. You could not, under any circ.u.mstances, accuse me of deception----"
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Darrell," she interposed, more gently; "I did not intend to accuse you of deception. I only meant that, regardless of any personal feeling, it was, as you said, better to stop this; that to carry it farther after you had found you did not care for me as you supposed--or as I was led to suppose----" She paused an instant, uncertain how to proceed.
"Kathie, Kathie! what are you saying?" Darrell exclaimed. "What have I said that you should so misunderstand me?"
"But," she protested, piteously, struggling to control her voice, "did you not say that it was all a mistake on your part--that you wished it all undone? What else could I understand?"
"My poor child!" said Darrell, tenderly; then reaching over and possessing himself of one of her hands, he continued, gravely:
"The mistake was mine in that I ever allowed myself to think of loving you when love is not for me. I have no right, Kathie, to love you, or any other woman, as I am now. I did not know until last night that I did love you. Then it came upon me like a revelation,--a revelation so overwhelming that it swept all else before it. You, and you alone, filled my thoughts. Wherever I was, I saw you, heard you, and you only.