He began to walk the floor. I don"t think I have mentioned it, but that is Carter"s busness. Not walking the floor. Advertizing. Father says he is quite good, although only beginning.
"Tell me about it," he said.
So I told him that Adrian was a mill worker, and the villain makes him lose his position, by means of forjery. And Adrian goes to jail, and comes out, and no one will give him work. So he prepares to blow up a Milionaire"s house, and his sweetheart is in it. He has been to the Milionaire for work and been refused and thrown out, saying, just before the butler and three footmen push him through a window, in dramatic tones, "The world owes me a living and I will have it."
"Socialism!" said Carter. "Hard stuff to handle for the two dollar seats. The world owes him a living. Humph! Still, that"s a good line to work on. Look here, Bab, give me a little time on this, eh what? I may be able to think of a trick or two. But mind, not a word to any one."
He started out, but he came back.
"Look here," he said. "Where do we come in on this anyhow? Suppose I do think of somthing--what then? How are we to know that your beloved and his manager will thank us for buting in, or do what we sugest?"
Again I drew myself to my full heighth.
"I am a person of iron will when my mind is made up," I said. "You think of somthing, Carter, and I"ll see that it is done."
He gazed at me in a rapt manner.
"Dammed if I don"t beleive you," he said.
It is now late at night. Beresford has gone. The house is still. I take the dear Picture out from under my mattress and look at it.
Oh Adrien, my Thespian, my Love.
JANUARY 21ST. I have a bad cold, Dear Dairy, and feel rotten. But only my physicle condition is such. I am happy beyond words. This morning, while mother and Sis were out I called up the theater and inquired the price of a box. The man asked me to hold the line, and then came back and said it would be ten dollars. I told him to reserve it for Miss Putnam--my middle name.
I am both terrafied and happy, dear Dairy, as I lie here in bed with a hot water bottle at my feet. I have helped the Play by buying a box, and tonight I shall sit in it alone, and he will percieve me there, and consider that I must be at least twenty, or I would not be there at the theater alone. Hannah has just come in and offered to lend me three dollars. I refused hautily, but at last rang for her and took two. I might as well have a taxi tonight.
1 A. M. THE FAMILEY WAS THERE. I might have known it. Never do I have any luck. I am a broken thing, crushed to earth. But "Truth crushed to earth will rise again."--Whittier?
I had my dinner in bed, on account of my cold, and was let severly alone by the Familey. At seven I rose and with palpatating fingers dressed myself in my best evening Frock, which is a pale yellow. I put my hair up, and was just finished, when mother nocked. It was terrable.
I had to duck back into bed and crush everything. But she only looked in and said to try and behave for the next three hours, and went away.
At a quarter to eight I left the house in a clandestine manner by means of the cellar and the area steps, and on the pavment drew a long breath.
I was free, and I had twelve dollars.
Act One went well, and no disturbence. Although Adrian started when he saw me. The yellow looked very well.
I had expected to sit back, sheltered by the curtains, and only visable from the stage. I have often read of this method. But there were no curtains. I therfore sat, turning a stoney profile to the Audiance, and ignoreing it, as though it were not present, trusting to luck that no one I knew was there.
He saw me. More than that, he hardly took his eyes from the box wherein I sat. I am sure to that he had mentioned me to the Company, for one and all they stared at me until I think they will know me the next time they see me.
I still think I would not have been recognized by the Familey had I not, in a very quiet seen, commenced to sneaze. I did this several times, and a lot of people looked anoyed, as though I sneazed because I liked to sneaze. And I looked back at them defiantly, and in so doing, encountered the gaze of my Maternal Parent.
Oh, Dear Dairy, that I could have died at that moment, and thus, when streched out a pathetic figure, with tubroses and other flowers, have compeled their pity. But alas, no. I sneazed again!
Mother was weged in, and I saw that my only hope was flight. I had not had more than between three and four dollars worth of the evening, but I glansed again and Sis was boring holes into me with her eyes. Only Beresford knew nothing, and was trying to hold Sis"s hand under her opera cloak. Any fool could tell that.
But, as I was about to rise and stand poized, as one may say, for departure, I caught Adrian"s eyes, with a gleam in their deep depths. He was, at the moment, toying with the bowl of roses. He took one out, and while the Leading Lady was talking, he eged his way toward my box.
There, standing very close, aparently by accident, he droped the rose into my lap.
Oh Dairy! Dairy!
I picked it up, and holding it close to me, I flew.
I am now in bed and rather chilley. Mother banged at the door some time ago, and at last went away, mutering.
I am afraid she is going to be petish.
JANUARY 22ND. Father came home this morning, and things are looking up.
Mother of course tackeled him first thing, and when he came upstairs I expected an awful time. But my father is a reel Person, so he only sat down on the bed, and said:
"Well, chicken, so you"re at it again!"
I had to smile, although my chin shook.
"You"d better turn me out and forget me," I said. "I was born for Trouble. My advice to the Familey is to get out from under. That"s all."
"Oh, I don"t know," he said. "It"s pretty conveniant to have a Familey to drop on when the slump comes." He thumped himself on the chest.
"A hundred and eighty pounds," he observed, "just intended for little daughters to fall back on when other things fail."
"Father," I inquired, putting my hand in his, because I had been bearing my burdens alone, and my strength was failing: "do you beleive in Love?"
"DO I!"
"But I mean, not the ordinery atachment between two married people. I mean Love--the reel thing."
"I see! Why, of course I do."
"Did you ever read Pope, father?"
"Pope? Why I--probably, chicken. Why?"
"Then you know what he says: "Curse on all laws but those which Love has made.""
"Look here," he said, sudenly laying a hand on my brow. "I beleive you are feverish."
"Not feverish, but in trouble," I explained. And so I told him the story, not saying much of my deep Pa.s.sion for Adrian, but merely that I had formed an atachment for him which would persist during Life.
Although I had never yet exchanged a word with him.
Father listened and said it was indeed a sad story, and that he knew my deep nature, and that I would be true to the End. But he refused to give me any money, except enough to pay back Hannah and Carter Brooks, saying:
"Your mother does not wish you to go to the Theater again, and who are we to go against her wishes? And anyhow, maybe if you met this fellow and talked to him, you would find him a disapointment. Many a pretty girl I have seen in my time, who didn"t pan out acording to specifications when I finaly met her."
At this revalation of my beloved father"s true self, I was almost stuned. It is evadent that I do not inherit my being true as steal from him. Nor from my mother, who is like steal in hardness but not in being true to anything but Social Position.