"Don"t you dare to see my father."
"----and when he has agreed to what I propose," he went on, without paying any atention to what I had said, "you will be calmer. We can plan things."
Hannah came puffing up then, and he helped us into the motor. He was very careful to see that we were covered with the robes, and he tucked Hannah"s feet in. She was awfully flattered. Old Fool! And she babbled about him until I wanted to slap her.
"He"s a nice young man. Miss Bab," she said. "That is, if he"s the One.
And he has nice manners. So considerate. Many a party I"ve taken your sister to, and never before----"
"I wish you"d shut up, Hannah," I said. "He"s a Pig, and I hate him."
She sulked after that, and helped me out of my things at home without a word. When I was in bed, however, and she was hanging up my clothes, she said:
"I don"t know what"s got into you, Miss Barbara. You are that cross that there"s no living with you."
"Oh, go away," I said.
"And what"s more," she added, "I don"t know but what your mother ought to know about these goingson. You"re only a little girl, with all your high and mightiness, and there"s going to be no scandal in this Familey if I can help it."
I put the bedclothes over my head, and she went out.
But of course I could not sleep. Sis was not home yet, or mother, and I went into Sis"s room and got a novel from her table. It was the story of a woman who had married a man in a hurry, and without really loving him, and when she had been married a year, and hated the very way her husband drank his coffee and cut the ends off his cigars, she found some one she really loved with her Whole Heart. And it was too late. But she wrote him one Letter, the other man, you know, and it caused a lot of trouble.
So she said--I remember the very words--
"Half the troubles in the world are caused by Letters. Emotions are changable things"--this was after she had found that she really loved her husband after all, but he had had to shoot himself before she found it out, although not fataly--"but the written word does not change. It remains always, embodying a dead truth and giving it apparent life. No woman should ever put her thoughts on paper."
She got the Letter back, but she had to steal it. And it turned out that the other man had really only wanted her money all the time.
That story was a real ilumination to me. I shall have a great deal of money when I am of age, from my grandmother. I saw it all. It was a trap sure enough. And if I was to get out I would have to have the letter.
IT WAS THE LETTER THAT PUT ME IN HIS POWER.
The next day was Xmas. I got a lot of things, including the necklace, and a mending basket from Sis, with the hope that it would make me tidey, and father had bought me a set of Silver Fox, which mother did not approve of, it being too expencive for a young girl to wear, according to her. I must say that for an hour or two I was happy enough.
But the afternoon was terrable. We keep open house on Xmas afternoon, and father makes a champagne punch, and somebody pours tea, although n.o.body drinks it, and there are little cakes from the Club, and the house is decorated with poin--(Memo: Not in the Dictionery and I cannot spell it, although not usualy troubled as to spelling.)
At eleven o"clock the mail came in, and mother sorted it over, while father took a gold piece out to the post-man.
There were about a million cards, and mother glanced at the addresses and pa.s.sed them round. But suddenly she frowned. There was a small parcel, addressed to me.
"This looks like a Gift, Barbara," she said. And proceded to open it.
My heart skipped two beats, and then hamered. Mother"s mouth was set as she tore off the paper and opened the box. There was a card, which she glanced at, and underneath, was a book of poems.
"Love Lyrics," said mother, in a terrable voice. "To Barbara, from H----"
"Mother----" I began, in an ernest tone.
"A child of mine recieving such a book from a man!" she went on.
"Barbara, I am speachless."
But she was not speachless. If she was speachless for the next half hour, I would hate to hear her really converse. And all that I could do was to bear it. For I had made a Frankenstein--see the book read last term by the Literary Society--not out of grave-yard fragments, but from malted milk tablets, so to speak, and now it was pursuing me to an early grave. For I felt that I simply could not continue to live.
"Now--where does he live?"
"I--don"t know, mother."
"You sent him a Letter."
"I don"t know where he lives, anyhow."
"Leila," mother said, "will you ask Hannah to bring my smelling salts?"
"Aren"t you going to give me the book?" I asked. "It--it sounds interesting."
"You are shameless," mother said, and threw the thing into the fire. A good many of my things seemed to be going into the fire at that time. I cannot help wondering what they would have done if it had all happened in the summer, and no fires burning. They would have felt quite helpless, I imagine.
Father came back just then, but he did not see the Book, which was then blazing with a very hot red flame. I expected mother to tell him, and I daresay I should not have been surprised to see my furs follow the book.
I had got into the way of expecting to see things burning that do not belong in a fireplace. But mother did not tell him.
I have thought over this a great deal, and I beleive that now I understand. Mother was unjustly putting the blame for everything on this School, and mother had chosen the School. My father had not been much impressed by the catalogue. "Too much dancing room and not enough tennis courts," he had said. This, of course, is my father"s opinion. Not mine.
The real reason, then, for mother"s silence was that she disliked confessing that she made a mistake in her choice of a School.
I ate very little Luncheon and my only comfort was my seed pearls. I was wearing them, for fear the door-bell would ring, and a Letter or flowers would arrive from H. In that case I felt quite sure that someone, in a frenzy, would burn the Pearls also.
The afternoon was terrable. It rained solid sheets, and Patrick, the butler, gave notice three hours after he had recieved his Xmas presents, on account of not being let off for early ma.s.s.
But my father"s punch is famous, and people came, and stood around and buzzed, and told me I had grown and was almost a young lady. And Tommy Gray got out of his cradle and came to call on me, and coughed all the time, with a whoop. He developed the whooping cough later. He had on his first long trousers, and a pair of lavender Socks and a Tie to match. He said they were not exactly the same shade, but he did not think it would be noticed. Hateful child!
At half past five, when the place was jamed, I happened to look up.
Carter Brooks was in the hall, and behind him was H. He had seen me before I saw him, and he had a sort of sickley grin, meant to denote joy. I was talking to our Bishop at the time, and he was asking me what sort of services we had in the school chapel.
I meant to say "non-sectarian," but in my surprize and horror I regret to say that I said, "vegetarian." Carter Brooks came over to me like a cat to a saucer of milk, and pulled me off into a corner.
"It"s all right," he said. "I "phoned mama, and she said to bring him.
He"s known as Grosvenor here, of course. They"ll never suspect a thing.
Now, do I get a small "thank you"?"
"I won"t see him."
"Now look here, Bab," he protested, "you two have got to make this thing up You are a pair of Idiots, quarreling over nothing. Poor old Hal is all broken up. He"s sensative. You"ve got to remember how sensative he is."
"Go, away" I cried, in broken tones. "Go away, and take him with you."
"Not until he had spoken to your Father," he observed, setting his jaw.
"He"s here for that, and you know it. You can"t play fast and loose with a man, you know."
"Don"t you dare to let him speak to father!"