"Oh, Carter!"
So he came into the room and turned round, saying:
"Some soldier, eh?"
Leila had gone out, and all at once I knew that my Patriotism was not what I had thought it, for I could not bear to see him going to War, especialy as his mother would be lonly without him.
Although I have never considered myself weak, I now felt that I was going to cry. I therfore said in a low voice to give me a Handkercheif, and he gave me one of his.
"Why, look here," he said, in an astounded manner, "you aren"t crying about ME, are you?"
I said from behind his Handkercheif that I was not, except being sorry for his mother and also for him on account of Leila.
"Leila!" he said. "What about Leila?"
"She is lost to you forever," I replied in a choking tone. "She is betrothed to another."
He became very angry at that, and observed:
"Look here, Bab. One minute I think you are the cleverest Girl in the World, and the next--you little stuped, do you still insist on thinking that I am in love with Leila?"
At that time I began to feel very queer, being week and at the same time excited and getting red, the more so as he pulled the Handkercheif from my eyes and commanded me: "Bab, look at me. Do I LOOK as though I care for Leila?"
I, however, could not look at him just then. Because I felt that I could not endure to see the Unaform.
"Don"t you know why I hang around this House?" he said, in a very savige manner. "Because if you don"t everybody else does."
Dear Log or Journal, I could but think of one thing, which was that I was not yet out, but still what is called a Sub-Deb, and so he was probably only joking, or perhaps merely playing with me.
I said so, in a low tone, but he only gave a Groan and said:
"I know you are not out and all the rest of it. Don"t I lie awake at night knowing it? And that"s the reason I----" Here he stopped and said: "Damm it" in a feirce voice. "Very well," he went on. "I came to say Good-bye, and to ask you if you will write to me now and then. Because I"m going to War half because the Country needs me and the other half because I"m not going to disapoint a certain young Person who has a way of expecting people to be better than they are."
He then very suddenly stood up and said:
"I guess I"d better go. And don"t you dare to cry, because if you do there will be Trouble."
But I could not help it, as he was going to War for my Native Land, and might never come back. I therfore asked for his Handkercheif again, but he did not listen. He only said:
"You are crying, and I warned you."
He then stooped over and put his hand under my Chin and said:
"Good-bye, sweetheart."
AND KISSED ME.
He went out at once, slaming the door, and pa.s.sed Leila in the lower Hall without speaking to her.
APRIL 30TH. I now intend to close this Log or Journal, and write no more in it. I am not going back to school, but am to get strong and well again, and to help mother at the Red Cross. I wish to do this, as it makes me feel usefull and keeps me from worrying.
After all, I could not realy care for any one who would not rise to the Country"s Call.
MAY 3RD. I have just had a letter from Carter. It is mostly about blisters on his feet and so on, and is not exactly a love letter. But he ends with this, which I shall quote, and so end this Dairy:
"After all, Bab, perhaps we all needed this. I know I did.
"I want to ask you something. Do you remember the time you wrote me that you were BLITED and I sugested that we be blited together. How about changing that a bit, and being PLITED. Because if I am not cheered by something of the sort, my Patriotism is going to ooze out of the blisters on my heels."
I have thought about this all day, and I have no right to ruin his Career. I beleive that the Army should be encouraged as much as possible. I have therefore sent him a small drawing, copied from the Manual, like this:
{1" tall figure of a man holding semifore flags--his right arm is to the right and his left arm is up}
Which means "Afirmative"