The Sixth QuestionYoshii Akira-Sensei"s Special English(?) Test
Question: Please describe honestly any intimate a.s.sociation or experience with the opposite s.e.x up till now ‘spit it out even if you have to do it in j.a.panese!’.
Yoshii Akihisa’s answer:
“THAT’S JUST AN INTERROGATION!”
Yoshii Akira’s comment:
This is a test. If you once hugged someone of the opposite s.e.x, write down that you did so. If you once kissed someone of the opposite s.e.x, write down that you did so. Please answer my question honestly. Later on, nee-san will directly interroga—carry out remedials for Aki-kun. You are to study honestly with nee-san tonight.
Shimada Minami’s answer:
“I, although only once, did Setsubun.”
Yoshii Akira’s answer:
Scattering beans[1] doesn’t need to involve relationships with the opposite gender.
Yuuji got into an accident and ended up hospitalized, and Himeji-san went home once school was dismissed.
This continued for another 3 days, and in the blink of an eye, it was Sat.u.r.day, just like we agreed.
“Aki-kun, nee-san told you before. I’ll have to work in the mornings today and tomorrow, so you still have to watch the house even if you feel bored.”
Nee-san said this to me as she put the breakfast I prepared into her mouth.
“It’s tough working on Sunday, let alone today.”
Nee-san’s been coming home late, and I hardly have the chance to meet her other than at mornings. There"s such a mountain load of work, is the company running really well?
“Don’t worry. Tomorrow I just need to work in the morning and can come back in the afternoon. And Monday and Tuesday are my days off.”
“I see. Tomorrow I’ll be back in the afternoon too, so we can then have dinner together. What do you want to eat, nee-san?”
Since it’s a rare chance, I’ll show off my culinary skills to nee-san and cook something good. As for the money to buy the ingredients..oh well, better use what I have and don’t be fussy.
I pondered as I waited for nee-san’s response, but unexpectedly, nee-san refused me with a sharp tone that didn’t allow for any arguments.
“No need. There’s no need for you to do such unnecessary things.”
“Unnecessary things…what does that mean?”
I really didn’t like that tone. What does she mean by asking me not to do anything excessive? It’s been a long time since us siblings met, so I proposed to have a meal together. There’s no need for nee-san’s tone to be that bad, right?
“What do you mean by meaning? I’m telling you exactly as what I said. There’s no need for you to cook dinner.”
“No need to cook dinner? Are you going out because you have an appointment with someone at dinner?”
Maybe it’s not work, but she got some friends to eat with her, right? It can’t be helped in that case. I’ll find a chance next time…but nee-san’s words just now were rather irritating.
“It’s not like this…let’s not talk about this for now. You’re going out too, Aki-kun?”
“Un, yeah? Didn’t I tell you before? I’m going over to stay at my friend’s house for the night and study for the end-of-term tests with everyone.”
“I see. It’s really great to see you so pa.s.sionate towards your studies.”
I’m not studying because I want to…but because someone kept deducting points without any warning, I’m forced to do such things.
“Don’t cause too much trouble over at Yuuji’s house tonight.”
“Eh? No. I’m going over to Kirishima-san’s house…”
“Kirishima…‘san’?”
WHY DID I JUST MAKE SUCH A FATAL MISTAKE!? AM I AN IDIOT!?
“Aki-kun, nee-san’s so touched that I have to look at you in another light.”
“Eh?”
“You’re not hiding anything from nee-san and would even tell the truth honestly. Nee-san feels that this is a great thing.”
“Ah, un. I’m happy that you can praise me like that.”
“And your determination to overcome obstacles really impressed me.”
Nee-san took out her notebook and added a new demerit value on it.
“Wait, nee-san! Did you just write a 4 digit number? You’re mistake! Kirishima-san’s a girl, but she’s Yuuji’s bride—ah, no! I’m not having an affair with her! Hurry up and erase those 5 digit numbers!”
5 digits…that’s a score even Kirishima-san can’t get. That’s basically a death sentence.
“Then, tell me what’s going on?”
“We, well…anyway, we’re gathering everyone in cla.s.s to stay overnight at Kirishima-san’s house to get ready for the tests. And we have a lot of people, so Kirishima-san’s house is the only one large enough…”
Kirishima-san was the one who invited us in the first place, but that wasn’t important, so I better skip it.
“In that case, you will be gathering together to study and nothing else, right?”
“Yeah.”
I really can’t have the luxury to think of anything else when I have to raise my points up by 340. No no, even if it’s not about the grades, I can’t just think about those random things.
“If it’s just studying, nee-san don’t have to deduct that much points from you…but nee-san can’t praise you like that.”
“Eh? Why? I’m going to study!”
“It’s a huge mistake when you have to go to someone else’s house to study right before the exams.”
“Tha, that’s because…I’m not good at studies—”
“Aki-kun.”
Nee-san sternly interrupted my words which I couldn’t even say out.
“Nee-san understands how Aki-kun can’t study, and nee-san feels that being able to understand what you don’t understand is an important part of growing up.”
“Uu, un…”
“But even if being able to see your own limitations is something important, you can’t have the thought of ‘I can’t do this because I’m not good at it’, you know. You should have the att.i.tude of working harder than anyone else to make up for this. This att.i.tude is the most important one you should have. Aki-kun , didn’t you use ‘I’m an idiot’ as an excuse and not try to work hard?”
“Uu…”
Nee-san’s direct words caused me to be unable to argue back.
It’s true that when it’s tough or troublesome, no matter what, when I can’t come up with a solution, I would think ‘I’m an idiot, so I can’t do it’.
I never showed such a thought before, but nee-san’s really my own sister. She really understands me. Nee-san’s right. This naïve thinking isn’t good—
“Oi, hold on a sec! in that case, aren’t you the same, nee-san? Using a high and mighty tone to lecture me. What about you?”
“Me? What are you talking about?”
“Cooking! Telling me to work hard, yet regarding the things you’re bad at, you never—”
—BIBEEP!
As if it was pre-timed, the clock in the living room indicated 8am.
“Sorry. It’s been a nice conversation, but the time’s almost up. Nee-san should be going to work now.”
“Argh! That’s dirty! Are you running away? Despicable!”
“Also, I have to deduct you 50 points for going over to stay overnight at a girls’ place.”
“d.a.m.n IT! HURRY UP AND GET OUT, YOU BIG IDIOT!”
“Okay~ I’m going out then.”
I didn’t get points deducted by 4 digits or 5 digits, but my deducted points went up to 390 after a morning. Looks like I have to be more serious in the study group today…
“…Welcome, Yoshii.”
I waited for a while after I pressed the bell, and Kirishima-san in plainclothes came over to invite me in.
“So, sorry for intruding.”
Her house is way too luxurious, causing me to tense up for some reason. I heard of it before, but there’s really an invisible pressure when I really see it…she probably has servants who stay in the same house.
“…Everyone else was here.”
“So I’m the last one.”
With Kirishima-san leading me, I slowly followed her from behind. This is amazing…I’ve never seen such a long corridor before.
“Wow~ your house has a lot of rooms~”
“…They’re all for different functions.”
As expected of rich people, having so many rooms for different functions.
“This room that’s full of books is…”
“…The library.”
“That room with the large curtain is…”
“…A mini-theater.”
“That room with chains buckled all over is…”
“…Yuuji’s room.”
Alright, let’s forget about the conversation just now.
“…And this is the study.”
After walking by a few rooms, Kirishima-san suddenly stopped and opened a door. The moment she opened the door, I could see a boy and a girl arguing with each other. Isn’t that Muttsurini and Kudou Aikou from A-cla.s.s? What are they arguing about?”
“You’re thinking too much, Muttsurini-kun! Haven’t you heard of the saying that ‘Seeing is believing’?”
“…It’s an ever foolish thing to get on stage without going through a mock-drill.”
“It’s because you think so much that you always get nosebleeds and can’t get up.”
“…No matter what you say, I have no intention of changing my belief.”
“You’re saying such things again! You just won’t listen (flash a little)!”
“…Too despicable…(Nosebleeding in spurts).”
Kudou-san flipped the breast side of her shirt, and Muttsurini immediately drowned in a pool of nosebleed.
…What in the world are those two doing…?
“You’re finally here, Akihisa.”
“Ah, Hideyoshi, what’s with those two?”
“Mu, they were discussing hotly about how ‘secondary s.e.xual characteristics come about’ and things ended up like that…”
“I say, isn’t it weird to discuss such things already?”
What exactly happened such that they would discuss about secondary s.e.xual characteristics?
“h.e.l.lo, Akihisa-kun.”
“Un, morning, Himeji-sa—”
I turned over to look in the direction where the familiar voice came from, and was immediately so shocked that I couldn’t talk.
“Hm? What is it?”
Himeji-san tilted her head slightly. She looks somewhat different from usual, because she had a cute ponytail tied behind her.
Is, isn’t that too cute! What should I do? What words should I use to express the feelings I have now to her? “Himeji-san’s so cute today. My mind’s about to blow while looking at you.”[2] Alright, I’ll say that to her.
No, wait, if it’s too long, I might even mess up the most important point of the sentence. Got to make it easy to understand. I should shorten the sentence here—alright.
“Akihisa-kun?”
“Today’s Himeji-san’s dead today!”[3]
“EHHH!?”
WOAH! I’M SUCH A BIG IDIOT! WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT KIND OF DOOMSAYER APPEARED!
“Well, Akihisa-kun…is there some bad omens on my face?”
“Sorry…don’t worry about it…I just couldn’t handle something that happened out of a sudden…”
“Eh, oh…”
I wanted to praise her, but how did it end up in such an absurd statement?
“Aki, did you see something today? Why are you being stupid again?”
“Ah, Minami. Really, I’m not trying to be stupid here.”
“Really…why can’t I seem to tell?”
“Yo, you’re thinking too much.”
For some reason, the stare Minami gave me felt rather sharp, and she didn’t look like she was in a good mood.
“Really…it’s Mizuki’s place if I have to say it. it’s too despicable to change hairstyles out of a sudden. What should I do now…”
“Wha, what are you saying?”
Minami looked like she had some really deep grudge as she stared at Himeji-san’s hair. Their hairstyles are really cute now, and I really don’t know what to do when I’m standing beside them…this isn’t good! My mind seems like it’s going to explode the moment I think about it!
“Speaking of which, Himeji-san, it’s great that you can stay out today!”
I hurriedly changed the topic to avoid digging my own grave. Regarding hairstyles, if I don’t make everyone calm down first, it might end up in a very dangerous situation.
“Yeah, that’s great.”
Himeji-san smiled back happily.
Himeji-san seemed to have reflected obediently after throwing a tantrum, and for the next few days, went home directly. Maybe it’s because being obedient worked out for Himeji-san that her parents allowed her to stay out today. If she would normally keep her behavior in check and obediently report to her parents, it’s not like they wouldn’t understand.
“I immediately got out today too.”
“Oh? What happened to you, Minami?”
“No, it’s not me. It’s Hazuki.”
“What’s with Hazuki-chan?”
“If she knows that we’re going to have a study meet, she’ll definitely demand that I bring her along.”
“Ahaha, I see.”
“Luckily, mom and dad’s bringing her out to the movies today that I was able to get out quickly. Or else, it’ll be troublesome if she catches me going out.”
We’ll definitely welcome Hazuki-chan if she decides to come along, but Minami doesn’t seem like she wanted to bring her along too. Maybe she felt that it’ll be troublesome if both sisters were to come along, but I feel that Kirishima-san won’t worry about such a small thing.
“Speaking of which, we have Himeji-san, Minami, Hideyoshi, Muttsurini, Kudou-san and Kirishima-san for the study group today. That’s a lot of people.”
Including me, that would be 7 people, but the house doesn’t feel like it’s packed even with so many people here, which is really amazing. I really have to be grateful to Kirishima-san for providing such an outstanding study environment.
“Oh yeah, I don’t see Yuuji around.”
“Mu, I didn’t see him too. Is he late?”
Is he late? Really, we agreed to meet in the afternoon, and he could still oversleep. I should say that he’s way too relaxed—
“…I brought Yuuji here.”
DOSA!
Yuuji, who was tied up in ropes all over in rings, was lying on the carpeted floor.
“Nn? Akihisa, why are you guys here?’
“…Ahh, un. It’s because Kirishima-san’s good intentions…”
Why are you tied up by her in ropes? No, now doesn’t seem to be a good time to ask this question.
“Yuuji, we’re about to have a study group today. Didn’t you hear from Kirishima?”
Hideyoshi undid Yuuji’s ropes as he asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t hear anything. I just lost consciousness like usual, and by the time I woke up, I was here.”
Like usual, is it? I see. So this is the reason why I occasionally can’t contact Yuuji on the weekends.
“Then what about my textbooks and notes?”
“…Don’t worry, I prepared them.”
Kirishima-san was holding onto Yuuji’s bag, and seemed to have prepared a change of clothes for him. She really didn’t miss out on anything.
“Alright, since everyone’s here, we should start studying.”
“Yeah, I’d agree.”
“You’re right! Ordinary street surveys show that more than 68% of mature women are all—”
“…It’s not a mistake. The survey results of the World Health Organization investigations showed that 72% of mature men support this.”
“You’re saying such nonsensical lies again!”
“…Not lies, these are facts.”
“d.a.m.n it! in that case, I must overcome Muttsurini-kun in the next tests to prove that I’m right.”
“…You’re not going to chase me off from the top position in our year.”
“Saying such vexing words again…why are you always like that, Muttsurini-kun (flash)!”
“…Too despicable…(Spurts of nosebleed)!”
We haven’t started studying, yet those two seemed to have something wrong going on between them again.
“Akihisa-kun, you don’t have to differentiate between the East side and India here. It will be easier to memorize what happen each year in each country directly.”
“Each country?”
“Yes. For example, around 500 BC, when Confucius, a great person was born, another famous person was born in India.” (note Confucius actually lived and was born in China.)
“Confucius…I think I heard of this name before…”
“Confucius was the one who started the ‘Confucianism’, and is a great who had great influence in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms you like, Akihisa-kun.”
“Ahh, speaking of which, I might have heard of that name in manga or video games.”
Is it the one who advocated wisdom and faith? I remember this name seemed to be always a.s.sociated with ‘the Arts of Tsu’.
“When Confucius, the founder of Confucianism was born, the founders of Buddhism and Jainism were born at the same time.”
“The founder of Buddhism…is it Sakyamuni?”
“That’s right. He also has another name called Siddhattha Gautama.”
“But I don’t know about the founder of Jainism.”
“That one is harder. The founder’s name is called Mahavira.”
“Uu, never heard of that before.”
“They’re rather famous founders of religions in history. It’s best if you can memorize their names.”
“Fm fm.”
Gautama is Buddhism, Mahavira is Jainism.
“Don’t you find this interesting, Akihisa-kun?”
“Eh? What’s interesting about this?”
“It seemed that three of the great people that created religions in such a vast world full of history were all born in the same time.”
“Ah…that’s right. Speaking of which, it might be a coincidence.”
“Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps the species called ‘humans’ would have similar thoughts after going through some time and started believing in G.o.ds.”
“That’s amazing…even if the places are different, people evolve at the same speed. Is that what you mean?”
“Yes, or…”
“Or?”
“Maybe a real G.o.d descended to this world back then, crossing through India and China before teaching them such knowledge.”
“Ooh, so that’s how it is! If I think about it, it can explain why several religions were created at the same time…and also romantic.”
“But n.o.body knew what actually happened.”
Himeji-san gave me a prompting cute smile. A real G.o.d has descended on this earth; the textbooks never wrote such things, but such an idea is really interesting.
“Akihisa-kun , do you know what you should answer in the bracket?”
“Un, got it. the founder of Confucianism is—‘Confusing’, right?”
“Yes, well answered.”
With Himeji-san guiding me, I filled in the blanks of the questions one by one. Unlike Yuuji, Himeji-san would often talk about some interesting stories. This will waste some time, but can create deep impressions, so it’s a lot better than just memorizing. Himeji-san probably had such interests in studying through this method. I can tell everyone’s personality from how they work.
“Ah, that’s right, Himeji-san…”
“Yes?”
“It may be a little late, but well…you, your hairstyle seem somewhat different today. Why did you change out of a sudden…”
“Ah! We, well, that’s because…I, I just thought of tying a ponytail…but I’m not used to tying it like this, so it’s not really nice…is, is it weird?”
“No, not at all! I think it suits you!”
“Re, really? That’s great…it seems that spending two hours to tie a ponytail finally paid off…”
“Two hours?”
No matter what, even if it’s a girl, spending two hours to tie hair is way too long!
“I might as well tie it like this every day.”
“Ah, no. This hairstyle suits you, Himeji-san, but the normal one’s the cutest!”
“Cu, cute? Re, really…you’re too sweet, Akihisa-kun…”
“Ahaha, I’m not exactly saying kind words here…”
Ponytails are one of my fetishes, but Himeji-san’s normal hairstyle really suits her best. Besides, I’m really sorry if she has to spend two hours to tie her hair because of what I think.
“But you look a lot cuter than me, Akihisa-kun…”
“I CAN’T BE HAPPY WHEN YOU SAY SUCH THINGS!”
Looks like I have to show my manly side to Himeji-san.
“Oi, Shimada. Stop reading world history only and get serious, will you? Your language grades are on the same level as Akihisa. If you can’t improve to double digits, we’ll be in lots of trouble during the summoning war next term.”
“Uu…I, I know that! But, well…I don’t have much confidence in world history either.”
“Don’t worry, your world history grades are atrocious, but it’s considered normal amongst us F cla.s.s. You should focus on improving on your weak points instead of world history. If you can understand the questions on the scripts, you can become a force on our side, so it’ll be more efficient to study language than memorize world history.”
“Uuu…it’s not like I hate tatamis and short desks…”
“I’d feel…it’s alright if our cla.s.s can have facilities that are good enough so that Himeji doesn’t have to transfer, right? Even if we relax a bit…”
“No, not at all! I must beat A cla.s.s and defeat Shouko! If I can’t beat her, I’ll end up being held down by her no matter how much time pa.s.ses!”
“You can’t change it even if you win, right?”
“I’d feel this way too. It’s about time you two get together anyway.”
“d.a.m.n it! You guys…never mind, this question then. ‘Please use the past form of > to form a sentence’. Try forming one sentence.”“The cake I ate in the ‘past’ was ‘very’[4] delicious.”
“YOU TWO, STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACKS AND GET BACK HERE!”
Yuuji’s teaching Minami and Hideyoshi language. Kirishima-san was around, but I couldn’t find her around at this moment. I wonder where she went.
“Muttsurini-kun, even you can’t answer this question right?”
“…In the first year of middle school, it’s 70%. 87% in second year and 99% in the third year.”
“Why do you even know such a thing so clearly?”
“…That’s common knowledge.”
“Uu…looks like I can’t beat you through a direct attack…”
“…You’re too naïve, Kudou.”
“In, in that case, Muttsurini-kun, actually, I—”
“…?”
“—I don’t normally wear bras, you know.”
“…u!? (TATATA)”
“Eh? Are you asking me why the shape won’t change when I don’t wear a bra? That’s because…actually, I do (mumbling) ma.s.sage until (mumble), and every night, I will always—”
“…Are you trying to kill me…(BUSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIII))”
“What do you mean trying to kill you? It’s really not nice to hear it. I just want to make you lose so much blood that you can’t go all out in the exams, Muttsurini-kun, no other ill intentions here.”
“…I’ll just give you a few points. This level of obstacle is nothing to me.”
“Ohh, you can actually say such things?”
“I’ll definitely not lose to you!”
“In that case, I won’t hold back then—oh yeah, I haven’t finished about just now, (mumbles) until the body gets hot, and then use a (mumbles), and then (secretly)—”
“…I won’t…die in front of you…(DABADABADABA)!”
Kudou-san and Muttsurini’s conversation was rather weird, but Muttsurini looks somewhat pale after having lost lots of blood, which I’m rather worried about.”
“…It’s about time for dinner. Everyone, please move to the other room.”
I recovered and heard Kirishima-san’s offer.
That’s weird. Didn’t we just have tea? Is it 6pm already?”
“Alright, Shimada, Hideyoshi, we’ll stop here for ancient language. Time to eat.”
“Uu…what in the world is a conjugation form? Even if I don’t know, I don’t think it’ll affect my life much…”
“Yeah…I’d don’t think that this kind of thing will appear in drama or theater…”
With Yuuji teaching, Minami and Hideyoshi had to take a boring ancient language lesson. Ancient language was something they’re the weakest at, and I can tell that they’re tired even as a bystander.
“…I’m alive…!”
“Muttsurini-kun, study hard with me after dinner.”
“…I refuse.”
Are Kudou-san and Muttsurini on good terms or not?
“Nn~…alright, and…”
I put down my pen and got up, stretched my stiff back muscles, heard the creaking sound of the joints, and it felt really good. Normally, when I hear creaking sounds from my body, there’s a high chance that my body’s being abused tragically by someone…
“…I’ll bring everyone to the dining room. Please follow me.”
“““Okay.”””
We continued to walk and chat with Kirishima-san, who was leading us, as we head towards the dining room.
“I’m really happy to be able to eat so much good stuff recently.”
“I think you should start changing your lifestyle, Akihisa-kun…”
“I do sweep the floor and wash my clothes and all that usually.”
“I said that I should at least make the bentos—”
“That won’t do, Himeji-san. My life will be at risk if I do that.”
“Because the students in F cla.s.s are strict about that.”
Uu, this is one of the reasons.
Soon after we left the room, there was the appetizing fragrance of food.
“…This is the room.”
Kirishima-san, who was leading us, stopped in front of one of the rooms.
The moment she opened the door, the appetizing aroma of the food came at us.
“A, amazing!”
“Wow…”
“Th, this is very extravagant.”
On the large table that will definitely not be seen in an ordinary family, there’s a lot of delicious dishes set there. The floating smell of roasted peking duck that was dripping with golden meat sauce, a large piece of shark’s fin was floating on the thick and gluey soup surface, green pepper fried with double-cooked meat, eight treasures vegetables, mapo tofu and all sorts of dishes were delightfully placed on the large plates at the center of the table. Also, each seat has a small tea bowl with a cover there. Is that the famed bird’s nest soup that’s supposedly the highest of cla.s.ses?
This meal is so luxurious that it doesn’t seem to be for friends who’re coming here to play! It’s basically like a scene in a dream!
“You’ll definitely hurt your stomach eating all these because you’re not used to them, Aki.”
“Ahaha, that’s right.”
No matter what, the dishes in front of me would be more than several months of my meal allowance. I couldn’t help but drool just by looking at it.
“Oh yeah, are we the only ones eating? What about your family, Kirishima?”
“…Un, there’s only us.”
There’s only 8 of us in this room. Is Kirishima-san’s mother the one who set up so many dishes for us? Or is it her helpers? But I don’t see anyone else around? They probably don’t want to ruin our moods when eating.
“Shouko’s family won’t get involved with each other, so they live rather freely.”
“…Un, so everyone, don’t feel restrained and relax.”
I see. Free…she did make a room for Yuuji. No family can be described ‘free’ more than Kirishima-san’s family.
“…Then, everyone, please choose a seat you like.”
We followed what she instructed and took the seats closest to us. Alright, let’s tuck in.
“““ITADAKIMASU!!”””
Everyone clapped their hands together and yelled, immediately savoring the happy dinner time.
“This meal’s really amazing…!”
“Th, this is really great…! Uu…I’ll accidentally eat too much if this keeps up…”
“Why is it that the food I like to eat have so much calories…!?”
“…Replenishing iron.”
“Shouko, why is it that this meal here looks poisonous with all the purple?”
“…I didn’t add any strange drugs in this.”
“I love Chinese food!”
It’s like we booked a room in a high cla.s.s restaurant to eat, and each dish is so delicious, it’s really delightful.
“Yoshii-kun, let me feed you. Here, ah~”
“Nn? An~”
“Aki!? What are you doing?”
“Akihisa-kun? Your table manners are really terrible!?”
“Shouko, why is it that my drink looks poisonous with that pink color over there?”
“…I didn’t add any suspicious drugs in this.”
“Muttsurini, what are you eating?”
“…Bird’s Nest. It’s nice.”
As we enjoyed the high-cla.s.s cuisine that we would rarely get to eat, the bodies and souls that were fatigued by studying found comfort.
The last dessert, almond jelly was served, and as we ate, Kirishima-san suddenly asked Yuuji.
“…Yuuji.”
“What is it, Shouko?”
“How’s the studying?”
“Going really well. You don’t have to worry.”
“…Really?”
“Yeah, I might even beat you in the next tests.”
“…Is that so?”
“I’ll be able to regain my freedom like this.”
On seeing Yuuji show such a relaxed expression, Kirishima-san couldn’t help but narrow her eyes.
“…If that’s what you say.”
“Nn?”
“…How about a challenge?”
It’s rare that Kirishima-san will show such a taunting look.
“You want to challenge me?”
“…Un, I want to see what you can do, Yuuji.”
“Hoho, so you’re viewing yourself highly there, huh, to actually say such words.”
That’s weird? Did Yuuji actually think of accepting her proposal…?
“…I’m definitely above you. That’s a fact.”
“d.a.m.n IT, FINE! WE’LL HAVE A CHALLENGE! WHO’S SCARED HERE! LET ME TELL YOU THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR ABILITIES!”
He got hooked. Kirishima-san really understands Yuuji’s thoughts.
“…I understand. In that case, we’ll have a simple revision test about the test topics later.”
“FINE! DON’T THINK I’LL BE THAT OLD USELESS ME IN THE PAST!”
“…If I win, you’re sleeping with me, Yuuji.”
“HA!?”
On hearing that, Yuuji’s eyes immediately became little black dots. What an idiot. He doesn’t seem to have comprehended what was going on.
Anyway, if Yuuji loses the revision test later, he’ll have to sleep together with that Kirishima-san who’s beautiful and has a great body. If it really ended up in such an envious situation, it’ll be a case when I’ll really be jealous and think of killing him…
“Sorry, Kirishima-san. I want some more almond jelly. Can I borrow a knife from you? A chopper or a katana will do too.”
“…I’ll get it for you now.”
“WAIT A SEC, SHOUKO! DON’T GIVE ANYTHING DANGEROUS LIKE A KNIFE TO HIM! YOU’LL ENDANGER MY LIFE LIKE THAT!”
Cheh! That Yuuji’s instincts are rather sharp!
“…But if you win, Yuuji, I’ll allow you to sleep with Yoshii.”
“THAT’S TOO SCARY! I DON’T GET ANY BENEFIT AT ALL!”
What is this stupid guy saying? If it’s me, I’ll definitely fight to get 0 points here!
“This is great. Seems interesting, I want to do something here~”
The jealous feelings in me caused me to get ready to grab the chair and smash it on Yuuji’s head, but Kudou-san said with a happy look.
“…You want to join too, Aiko?”
“I can join, but since it’s a rare chance…”
Kudou-san deliberately paused the moment she said that, and looked over at me. What does she want to do?
“—How about everyone take this text and use the points to decide who sleeps with who?”
Kudou-san looked at me and deliberately blinked. Is she actually thinking…of seducing me?
“FINE! I WAS REA—”
“YOU, YOU CAN’T DO THAT! ERM, IT, IT’S TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO DO THAT, AKIHISA-KUN!”
“But it’ll be better for Yoshii-kun to gain more actual experience with me on health education, right?”
“NO! YOU MUSTN’T DO THAT!”
“But I really want to teach Yoshii-kun health education~”
“I SAID NO MEANS NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! IF YOU INTEND TO DO THAT, KUDOU-SAN, I, I WANT TO SLEEP WITH AKIHISA-KUN!”
“EHHHHH!? WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SAYING, HIMEJI-SAN!?”
Himeji-san just said such ridiculous words out of impulse when Kudou-san challenged her, right?
“MI, MIZUKI! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? EVERYONE KNOWS THIS ISN’T POSSIBLE!”
“BUT YOU ARE AWARE AFTER READING THROUGH AKIHISA-KUN’S H-BOOKS, MINAMI-CHAN! AKIHISA-KUN’S A GUY! HE’S VERY INTERESTED IN THOSE PERVY STUFF! SOMETHING BIG WILL HAPPEN IF HE SLEEPS WITH KUDOU-SAN!”
“It’s true that the 4th H-book Aki collected has a short hair girl…”
HOLD ON A SEC, HOW MUCH OF MY TOP SECRET DO YOU KNOW OF!
“So I must sleep with Akihisa-kun to protect him!”
“Tha, that’s right. I have to sleep with Aki to protect him too.”
Why is it that things are getting weirder and weirder? And I’m bothered that you revealed my deep secrets to everyone like that.
“No no, I’d think that you people are all too excited here. This won’t happen if you reject Kudou’s proposal.”
“KUDOU-SAN, LET’S CHALLENGE! I WILL DEFINITELY NOT LOSE TO YOU FOR AKIHISA-KUN’S SAKE!”
“YEAH! I’LL SLEEP WITH AKI IF IT’S FOR HIS SAKE TOO!”
“Ahaha, you two are really interesting. Didn’t let down my expectations there.”
“I’d feel…that it’ll be fine…if you just refused…”
Hideyoshi’s suggestion was thoroughly ignored. I would occasionally think that the apt.i.tude to study doesn’t have a direct relation to how smart one is, is it?
“…In that case, I’ll take out a brand new mock exam that wasn’t used before.”
“WAIT A SEC, SHOUKO! I HAVEN’T AGREED YET!”
“…It’s decided. You said that you’ll challenge me just now, Yuuji. You can’t say no now.”
“Ugh! I, I did say that alright…”
Yuuji’s gaze was unfocused as he looked around, seemingly thinking of something.
And then, his eyes turned to the table. I clearly saw that Yuuji overturned the gla.s.s of fruit juice from an angle Kirishima-san couldn’t see.
“Oh, sorry Shouko! Did it get your clothes?”
“…I’m fine.”
On first glance, it looked like Kirishima-san’s clothes weren’t ruined by the juice.
“No, that can’t be right. You can’t see it there, but your hem has juice on it.”
Yuuji pointed at the back of Kirishima-san’s waist as he said that.
“…I’ll be troubled.”
“Sorry, I was careless there—”
“…That drug will corrode fibers.”
“WAIT A SEC, WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU ADD IN MY DRINK!?”
It looks like Yuuji’s drink was spiked, which was why the color’s different from everyone else.
The juice that was tossed out gave off green smoke on contact with the carpet, but I can’t be envious about that…
“…I’ll get a change of clothes.”
“That’s right, it’s better to change clothes…since you need to change, we can have a bath even though it’s early. Treat it as aiding digestion.”
Yuuji stopped Kirishima-san, who was about to leave and get a change of clothes, and suggested it.
That’s a good idea. It’ll be hard on us if we immediately start studying while we’re full, so we might as well take a bath and rest. However, I’m rather worried as I may feel sleepy if I bath after eating.
“…I understand. Let’s take a bath then.”
“Alright, we’ll talk about the mock tests later then.”
“…Un.”
Having gotten Kirishima-san’s permission, we went to get a change of clothes, and the boys and girls went to different rooms.
“Alright, let’s go.”
We entered our room, and a few minutes later, Yuuji suddenly got up.
“Understood. We’re going to peep, right?”
“…Leave it to me.”
“I’d say, how foolish can you people be…”
On a side note, Hideyoshi was a.s.signed to another room, but came back to our guys’ room. He felt lonely, right?
“Idiots, you’re wrong. We’re going to Shouko’s room.”
“Heh? Why?”
Kirishima-san’s room? Leaving the girls’ bathroom alone and choosing to go to Kirishima-san’s room? Why?
“Do I have to say it? I have to steal the mock test she just mentioned.”
This guy’s ever so despicable.
“But I don’t think we’ll lose out on anything even if we don’t steal the test script.”
“(Nods head)…Peeping’s more important than that.”
Yuuji may not want to sleep with Kirishima-san, but this is really a great opportunity to peep for Muttsurini and me, so we have no need to sneak around like that.
“Do you really think that’s the check?”
Yuuji started to ask me with that pretense tone of his.
“What are you trying to say?”
“Think about it carefully, Akihisa? What did that sister of yours that just came back forbid you from doing?”
“Eh, well…‘gaming for only half an hour a day’ and ‘no illicit s.e.xual relationships at all’—d.a.m.n it! I forgot about it!”
It’ll be a death penalty if I end up sleeping with girls—whether it’s my happy life of living alone or my life.
“Ah, but, if nee-san doesn’t know—”
“I’ll leak the news if you don’t help me.”
“d.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.d! YOU’RE A SUPER d.a.m.nED b.a.s.t.a.r.d!”
Though I already knew that Yuuji was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
“And you’re in danger too, Muttsurini.”
“…Why?”
“You’ll die due to ma.s.sive nosebleed.”
That’s really the case.
“…Do you think I’m scared of death?”
WHAT THE HECK! THAT LINE’S WAY TOO COOL!
“But think of the ranking. If the people on top choose who they won—”
If we predict the results, Kirishima-san will be first, Himeji-san will be second, and Kudou-san will be third…that’s likely to be the case.
“When Kirishima chooses Yuuji, Himeji chooses Akihisa, who will Kudou Aiko choose?”
Hideyoshi put his hand at his chin and muttered,
“Kudou will likely choose Muttsurini.”
“…How is it possible?”
“You two just argued a whole lot. Didn’t she sweat to get back the top rank in health education without letting you lose too much blood, Muttsurini?”
“…Ugh! That’s too despicable!”
I don’t really understand, but it seems that Muttsurini and Kudou-san have some strange compet.i.tion going on between them.
“…Those pants aren’t going to kill me…!”
It seems that Muttsurini isn’t scared of death, but will die because he hates the pants. Does he have some emotional scar with them?
“That’s the case. Are you willing to help?”
“Got it. I’ll help.”
“…I have no other choice.”
This is a matter of life and death. If I don’t help Yuuji, I’ll likely be dunked in a h.e.l.l of boiling water.
“I’d help you too.”
“Heh? You’re going to help us too, Hideyoshi? Why?”
No matter what I think, Hideyoshi doesn’t have a reason to help.
“No particular reasons.”
“?”
Uu…since Hideyoshi wants to help, it’ll be a great thing.
“Alright, since it’s decided, let’s hurry up and take action. Based on what Shouko said, that mock test should be hidden in her room, so we have to enter her bedroom.”
“““Got it!”””
We could only help Yuuji and enter Kirishima-san’s room together because of all sorts of reasons.
“Kirishima-san, what kind of bath do you have at home?”
“…There’s a large bath and an open-aired bath.”
“A, amazing. It’s just like a hot springs hotel.”
“I’m really looking forward to it.”
“I’m looking forward to it too. Whether it’s the hot springs hotel or that I can touch, Hime-chan’s part, right?”
“Wah! Ku, Kudou-san, where are you touching!”
“They’re so big~ what do you put inside?”
“…I’m so envious…”
“Wa! Wh, why even Kirishima-san…”
“That’s right. It’s really too unfair that Mizuki’s grown like that…I wonder if I can get a needle to poke them and suck the stuff inside…”
“Mi, Minami-chan! Are you joking around? Your expression looks horrifying!”
The bewitching conversation could be heard as Himeji-san and the rest were holding onto their change of clothing and were ready to move to the bathroom.
“Yuuji, I say…”
“What?”
“I just want to forget about everything and follow Himeji-san and the rest.”
“…Same here.”
The wish we couldn’t get in the past can definitely come true now!
“Idiots, think about it carefully. Think about what happened then!”
Yuuji calmly retorted back. Of course, we’re not so stupid to end up in such a forsaken state.
“I won’t make the same failure twice over! I’ll do it properly this time and definitely not end up getting myself suspended from school again!”
Now, allow me to repeat this once again. I just want to peep into the girls’ bathroom for the sake of my desire.
“In that case, let me change the saying.”
Yuuji pointed his index finger fiercely at me.
“Think about it, you guys, about that d.a.m.ned old granny’s naked body.”
““…UGH!””
The dinner we just digested seemed to have went back into the throat.
“There’s nothing good about peeping at all…whether it’s the one watching or the one being watched…”
“…Should never commit the same crime again.”
“It’s great that you guys can understand this.”
If we end up getting the cops involved because I saw such a thing, I won’t be able to die in peace even if I do.
“Are we ready to go into Kirishima’s room?”
“You’re right, we’ll just waste our time if this drags on.”
Girls bath longer, but this theory can’t be applied to everyone. We have to finish this mission at the fastest speed possible.
After checking that Himeji-san and the rest aren’t around, we tiptoed over to the other side of the corridor, aiming at Kirishima-san’s room where Himeji-san and the rest came out from.
“Alright, let’s go in.”
Yuuji stood in front of the door, and held onto the door handle before twisting it.
“That’s weird? Why can’t we open it?”
But even though it was a turning handle, the door still wouldn’t budge as it let out a creaking sound.
“I’d say, it should be locked.”
“In her own house? Ugh…is there really something important inside?”
Or is it that girls of this age are used to doing such things?
“What kinds of important things would that person have…never mind. Muttsurini, can you do it?”
“…Give me 30 seconds.”
Muttsurini took out a tool that we never saw before, poked it inside the keyhole and fidgeted for 30 seconds before finally opening Kirishima-san’s bedroom door. That’s really an amazing ability.
We entered the room and looked around, and couldn’t help but feel amazed as we stood there.
“This room’s really grand…”
“Bi, big…”
Kirishima-san’s room should be about the size of 20, 30 tatamis.[5]
“We"d should spread out and look, or else it’ll be impossible for us to find it.”
“Yeah, everyone, spread out and search. If we find something similar to test scripts, open it out even if we see the questions, we won’t have any excuse even if we’re discovered.
In other words, it’ll be unfair if Kirishima-san’s the only one who saw the test questions of the mock test; what kind of lame excuse is that? It’s really despicable, and it’ll be sorry for Kirishima-san, but we have no other ways to escape.
“Got it. I’ll search from that bookshelf.”
“…I’ll check from the entrance.”
“I’ll check from the windows.”
“I’ll check through Shouko’s drawers.”
The four of us split up to look for that mock test.
The bookshelf I’m in charge of has magazines, novels and some small things.
My eyes screened through a corner of the bookshelf,
“Ehh, let’s see, what is this…<100 conditions="" to="" be="" a="" good="" woman="">>, >, >, >, >, >…”I just feel that the books Kirishima-san reads are becoming more and more criminal…especially that black magic book. For Yuuji’s sake, I better introduce something like white magic to her.
“Forget about that. I can’t find the questions of the mock test here…”
Kirishima-san probably didn’t put the test script here. Is it at where the other members are looking? I turned around to look at the door,
“…!(SWOOSH)!”
“MUTTSURINI! WHAT’S WITH YOU!?”
Suddenly, Muttsurini, who was supposed to be looking around, had bright red blood patterns forming on his face, and an inexplicable scene entered my eyes.
What’s going on?
“…Is this…a trap…?”
Muttsurini was drowning in a pool of blood, yet his stare was fixated on—a pile of female underwear that was folded neatly.
“…Care…ful…Akihisa. Kudou Aiko…wants to kill…all of us…”
“Ahh, you’re wrong. I guess the only one who’ll die because of such a thing is you, Muttsurini…”
Is that Kudou-san’s underwear? I won’t actually drown in my pool of nosebleed, but my heart really feels like fluttering when I think of how the short-haired girl who often wears pants would wear such underwear…
“ARGH, THIS IS…!”
Not far away, Yuuji yelled too. What now?’
“You found the test script, Yuuji?”
“KU…d.a.m.n IT! IT’S HARDENED GLa.s.s! IS, IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN USE TO BREAK IT…”
I looked at where Yuuji’s looking, and he’s looking at a piece of gla.s.s that was fixed to the wall.
What’s wrong with this guy?
“What is it, Yuuji? Found the test script?”
“JUST NICE, AKIHISA! HURRY UP AND HELP ME GET THIS d.a.m.nED THING OFF!”
Yuuji roared, and the d.a.m.ned thing he was referring to was the marriage certificate that was sealed in the thick gla.s.s.
“The way I see it, it’s impossible to take it out. Forget about that; getting the test script is more important.”
“WHAT NONSENSE IS THAT!? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT LOOKING FOR IT!? THAT SHOUKO ACTUALLY LIED TO ME AND SAID THAT SHE HANDED IT OVER TO THE LAWYER…IT’S BECAUSE SHE’S HIDING SUCH A THING THAT SHE LOCKED THE ROOM UP!”
Yuuji has completely forgotten that we got in here to look for the test scripts.
I should be reminding Yuuji here, but I might end up being scolded by him if I say the wrong things…really, how did I end up getting myself into this mess…
“Sigh, Yuuji and Muttsurini are useless now. Looks like Hideyoshi and I have to work harder…hm?”
I started to look around again to find that test script, and found a little hairpin on the table. Isn’t that the bunny hairclip Himeji-san normally puts on her hair?
“Speaking of which, Himeji-san does seem to like such small things…” I just took the hairclip without thinking and stared at it.
Forget about primary school. She still likes such a small thing even till now. This is really what Himeji-san would do—
“…Arre? What’s wrong?’
As I looked at the hairclip in my hand, my mind started to have some strange thought surging. Ughh…
“Yoshii-kun, what are you looking at?”
“WAH!?”
A sound came from behind me. Who, who is it?
“Really, Yoshii-kun. How can you secretly sneak into a girl’s room.”
The one who blinked at me and smiled in a vexing manner is,
“Ku, Kudou-san!? Why…didn’t you go bathe?”
“I forgot to take my underwear. I took it out from my bag and forgot to bring it into the bathroom, so I came back to get it.”
Kudou-san smiled and pointed at the clean underwear right in front of Muttsurini’s corpse.
I’M AN IDIOT! WHY DIDN’T I NOTICE IT TILL NOW! SHE DIDN’T BRING HER UNDERWEAR EVEN THOUGH SHE WANTED TO BATH, AND IT’S OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE SHE FORGOT TO BRING IT!
Since Kudou-san’s right in front of me, maybe the other girls are coming back—
“NOT GOOD! EVERYONE, RETREAT! THE KILLING SQUAD MAY BE COMING BACK!”
I hurriedly interrupted the plan and dashed out to the exit. There’ll definitely be an unavoidable great tragedy if Minami or Himeji-san finds me here.
“d.a.m.n it! looks like I can only watch and leave this thing behind…”
Having noticed my condition here, Yuuji hurriedly grabbed Muttsurini and rushed towards the exit, and Hideyoshi followed us.
“See you later, the four of you.”
Kudou-san didn’t look angry and even waved at us as we got ready to escape.
“Ugh…the plan failed. What should we do…”
Even if Kudou-san let us off, we still didn’t find that script. If this keeps up, I’ll…
“What do you mean what we can do? We can’t do anything now that we’re discovered.”
“This is bad…Muttsurini’s lucky that he fainted, but we…”
“We can only think of beating them.”
“You’re right. If Yuuji wins and chooses to sleep with me…”
“…At that moment, we’ll be sentenced to death by this society.”
Should I choose physical death or social death? It’s really a painful and cruel choice between two here! Why do I have to face death all the time in my life?”
“Relax Akihisa. I’d just scanned through the questions of the mock test.”
“Eh? When?”
“Just when you guys were fooling around.”
That is why Hideyoshi’s being so quiet. He’s been working silently.
“Oh yeah, I just can’t understand, Hideyoshi. Why are you willing to help us?”
“I’d have all sorts of complicated feelings here…”
Hideyoshi looked far away with teary eyes.
“If I sleep with a lady on the same bed and nothing happens, I’d be treated as a woman completely. But if something really happens, a big problem will happen. There’s no bigger problem than this…”
So Hideyoshi has his own troubles.
We ran around on the corridor, and finally got far away from Kirishima-san’s room before slowing down.
“Akihisa, we’d should be heading off to bath, right?”
“You’re right. Let’s go and bath.”
“To me, now’s not the time to bath…”
Right now, Yuuji’s completely focused on that marriage certificate left inside Kirishima-san’s room, but I just feel that no matter how much he struggles, it’s all futile…
“Sigh, we can’t think of anything good now. Better go take a bath first, Yuuji.”
“That’s right. We might be able to think of something when we’re bathing.”
“Yeah. Then, see you later, Hideyoshi.”
I waved at Hideyoshi and got ready to return to the room Kirishima-san prepared for us to get a change of clothes.
“HOLD IT!”
“Heh?”
Unexpectedly, Hideyoshi reached his hand out and tugged at my shirt.
“What is it, Hideyoshi? Don’t you want to bath?”
“Fm, I’d want to bath too, but why must I be separated from you guys?”
“Eh? That’s because…we’re going to bath!”
“Fm, bath.”
“So we have to go to the guys’ bathroom, and Hideyoshi, you’re,”
“I’d go to the guys’ bath too!”
“Hm? Did you mix up on the bathing time? We’ll let you bath first then.”
“OF COURSE NOT! I’D WANT TO BATH WITH EVERYONE!”
“EHHH!? NO YOU CAN’T!”
“WHY NOT! TODAY, I’D DEFINITELY PROOF TO ALL OVER YOU THAT I’M A REAL MAN! AS MEN, WE SHOULD BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER!”
“Hon…honest with each other…”
“WHA, WHAT’S THERE TO BLUSH ABOUT THIS!? ANYWAY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I MUST GO INTO THE GUYS’ BATH!”
Hideyoshi was so angry that he was grabbing onto my wrist. Looks like his heart is really unmovable now as I can’t shake his will no matter what I said. At this moment, Hideyoshi’s as firm as ever, and I can’t convince him. I could only give up reluctantly.
“…I, I understand, Hideyoshi. Since you say so, let’s bath toget—”
“Mizuki, it’s sudden, but don’t you want to see Aki get thrown into a swimming pool without water?”
“It’s really a coincidence, Minami-chan. I want to see how Akihisa-kun looks like when he’s diving without oxygen tanks.”
“That’s weird? Why is it that my arms are tied behind?
“Come with us, Aki. There should be a swimming pool in such a large house. It’ll be great if there’s a 20m jumping platform, right?”
“After that, you must dunk your head into a bathtub full of water and count till 1000! You must make yourself warm, you know!?”
“Ahaha, you two really like to joke around. I’ll definitely die if you do that.”
Himeji-san and Minami used a lot of force to drag me. There must be some mistake! That’s right, there must be a mistake!
“Really, hearing that you want to bath with Kinos.h.i.ta after coming back from the bathroom…”
“Luckily, Kudou-san forgot to take her change of clothes. Have to thank her properly later.”
“Aha, ahaha…why are you two joking around since just now? You two are actually joking, right? Oi, you’re joking right? WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING AT ME!? WHY ARE MY HANDS TIED UP TIGHTER! PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME! SOMEONE! SOMEONE SAVE ME NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
“…Yuuji.”
“SH, SHOUKO! WHEN DID YOU COME BACK!?”
“…Thinking of stealing our marriage certificate. Unforgivable.”
“WA, WAIT A SEC! LISTEN TO ME! I’M NOT STEALING IT. THIS IS A RIGHT I HAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
“Muttsurini-kun, hurry up and get up.”
“……Uu…uuu…”
“Watch me (flash)!”
“GUUAAAAHHHHH (SPLOSH)”
“…So in the end, I can only bath alone?”
Luckily, Kirishima-san’s house occupies a lot of s.p.a.ce. If the neighbors are living nearby, they’ll definitely call the cops after hearing our anguished cries.
In the end, because of Hideyoshi’s contributions, the mock test could only be cancelled. We then continued to study for a few hours. After midnight, it was time for bed.
“Kinos.h.i.ta-kun. If something happens, please make such to call out.”
“…This is a bell and a taser. You can use it if Yuuji has any ill intents to you.”
“Muu…is Akihisa’s sister the only one who was able to correctly identify my gender?”
“Aki, I suppose you should be clear. If anything…”
“I, I got it! I won’t do anything bad!”
Because Hideyoshi strongly insisted, we could only split up into ‘guys and Hideyoshi’ and ‘girls’ rooms. Based on how nothing happened during the training camp before, the girls specially allowed us, but…in that case, they didn’t need to take out tasers or threaten us already, right? Am I the only one w