Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎

Remember these baseball rules!

Please explain the following baseball terminology

"Touch Up."

Sakamoto Yuuji"s answer

"When the batter hits a fly ball, the base-runner, who"s off the base, must check the movement of the ball. The base-runner can only run off once the ball lands in the glove."

Teacher"s comment

That"s correct.

Himeji Mizuki"s answer

"To do a perverted act."

Teacher"s comment

I"m really shocked that you don"t know the definition of "touch up" in baseball, yet you understand the English definition of it. It"s correct in the English subtext, but it"s wrong in terms of baseball.

Tsuchiya Kouta"s answer

"When the batter hits a fly ball, the base-runner, who"s off the base, must check the movement of the ball and the short skirts of the cheerleader girls. The base-runner can only do a perverted act once the ball lands in the glove."

Teacher"s comment

Calm down, your answer has the correct knowledge and your derogatory thoughts mixed together.

NOTICE

Fumizuki Gakuen"s sport meet.

Bonding match. Teachers-vs-students baseball meet.

The above mentioned events will be modified and competed with summoned beasts.

Fumizuki Gakuen Princ.i.p.al Todou Kaoru.

d.a.m.n OLD GRANNY--!!!

Forcefully pushing the princ.i.p.al"s room"s door aside, Yuuji and I shouted.

“What now, you brats? Being so noisy so early in the morning?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY BEING SO NOISY SO EARLY IN THE MORNING? IS IT TIME FOR SUCH WORDS, d.a.m.nED OLD GRANNY!?”

Yuuji and I stormed toward the princ.i.p.al, who covered her eyes and looked unhappy, with the momentum of an army of tens of thousands.

It was hard that our whole cla.s.s of guys managed to gather our grudge over the loss of our bibles(A-books) and rely on the teachers-vs-students match to take revenge on the teachers...but the moment we came to school this morning, we suddenly saw this notice. Of course we would be fuming.

“Why did you change the format of the match to summoned beasts? Now we can"t even take revenge on the teachers and teach them a lesson!!”

“Didn"t you just say the reason why the school needs to change the format to include summoned beasts...?”

Giving a "really, you guys" look at Yuuji and me, the princ.i.p.al turned to look at the data in her hand. Is, is she even human?

“Do you know how hard we worked, how much we planned all the dirty tricks and practiced them...that"s why you would say such inhumane things!!”

“You d.a.m.ned brats, you should use this focus on other things!”

Our great hard work got completely denied. What kind of educator is she?!

“Che, suddenly changing the format to a summoned beast battle, I guess it"s about promoting the summoning system...the most important summoning system has been manipulated until it can be controlled by humans?”

Now that Yuuji said this, the princ.i.p.al frowned. Our school princ.i.p.al is more like a researcher than an educator. She will never let other people underestimate the technicalities of the summoning system.

“Forget about the summoning tournament and what happened during the summer, the summoning system is now completely in my grasp. If that"s not the case, how can I let you people have the summoned beasts play baseball?”

Hearing her say that, I started to wonder. Now that she mentions it, it"s true, but during the test of courage, our summoned beasts did become monsters, so obviously something wrong happened to the system...maybe it"s because the system adjustments failed this time that caused our summoned beasts to become baseball midgets.

“d.a.m.ned brats, hold it right there. What"s with that expression of yours!? Did you think that I failed in the adjustments and caused the summoning system to be that of the baseball style was why I forced all of you to take part using summoned beasts? Are you thinking that way?”

We"re thinking like that alright.

“Humph, I don"t know what your idiotic brains are thinking, but I spent a lot of effort just to modify the summoning system into baseball style. I had to expand the system"s effective range , designate the bat and gloves, and then I had to imagine the ball before creating it. How is it possible to create all these if it wasn"t for the complete control system.”

Creating a ball through imagination, calculating the amount of air resistance through the shape of a ball, and the seamless curve-ball...these tough terminologies started coming out from the princ.i.p.al"s mouth. I really don"t understand what she"s saying. Anyway—

“So now that the summoning system is alright, you want to let all the teachers and students see it for themselves?”

“—”

Ah, the princ.i.p.al"s expression froze.

“Akihisa, you got to note of your word usage. See, because you guessed correct, that old granny"s face just froze.”

Did I guess correctly? This person in front of us is a lot older than us, yet she does seem like a kid sometimes. Or rather...are all researchers like that?

“Of, of course not! Either way, as a school princ.i.p.al, I do want to have the students and teachers have a warm and cuddly interactive game.”

“Ah~really~that"s amazing~”

“Amazing~I"ve all my respect for you~”

“You d.a.m.ned brats are so irritating!!”

Being able to say such a lie that can be seen through easily, it seems like we"re rather half-baked.

“However, if that"s the case, I guess it"s impossible to revert the rules back to normal, right? Since the idea to let the summoned beasts play baseball was the old granny"s idea.”

“Yeah, princ.i.p.al. Please retract that notice and let us play baseball normally!”

“I refuse.”

““WHY!!??””

“You just treated me like an idiot when you said that. How can you think that I"ll grant your request like that?”

Unbelievable. She would actually refuse the earnest request of her cute students. Is she really the head of the school?

“Even if you didn"t say anything, it"s impossible to retract the notice since the settings are all set.”

The princ.i.p.al pushed a pile of hi-quality bound paper to us.

“Why did it end up like this...not asking for our agreement and doing such things on your own...”

“What nonsensical words are you talking about!? Why must I ask for your agreement?!?”

d.a.m.n it! If we knew that this would happen, we should have bribed the sports management committee. But this d.a.m.ned old granny would probably not listen to them.

Just when I clenched my teeth, thinking of some way to salvage this, Yuuji revealed a pondering look and then stared at the princ.i.p.al, saying,

“Now that it can"t be changed...but if that"s the case, wouldn"t the difference between the teachers and the students be too great?”

“The difference you"re talking about, you"re referring to the difference in summoned beasts" strength between the teachers and the students? Ha! I thought that you have something else to say.”

“But princ.i.p.al, Yuuji"s right! Aren"t the teachers" score ridiculously high? And the marks are equivalent to power. If there"s such a difference in power, how can we possibly win—”

“Stop saying such dumb things. This isn"t normal fighting. I"m telling you to play baseball! If power alone could win, those professional baseball players would have been bodybuilders.”

“But...”

“Besides, Fumizuki Gakuen is a school that focuses on grades to increase the learning potential. The difference in grades would be the difference in strength. What"s wrong about that?”

I couldn"t say anything back at the princ.i.p.al when I heard that. She"s right. We already knew of Fumitzuki Gakuen"s educational policy before we entered this school, but we still chose this school.

“But even if you say that, even when knowing that there"s a huge difference in ability, we can"t possibly focus on playing baseball! So please revert it back to normal!”

“Ah, Akihisa, just hold on. Didn"t I say this? That is impossible.”

I wanted to say something else, but Yuuji stopped me. Eh? Wasn"t Yuuji talking about letting the princ.i.p.al revert the format?

“But Yuuji, that...”

“Mn, you"re right. That will make us less focused when we play. So princ.i.p.al, how about it? If you want us to have some enthusiasm, you should prepare some prize for us, no?”

Thus, Yuuji raised that proposal to the princ.i.p.al in a matter-of-fact manner. Prize? What"s this all about?

“Your proposal"s really ridiculous. Either way, I can"t produce some good prize at such short notice, right?”

“No, you don"t have to prepare them, nor do you need to pay a single cent.”

No need to pay a single cent? That means—

“If we can beat the teachers, please return the things that were confiscated during the sudden spot-check. What do you think?”

“...I see. So you prefer something more realistic than a t.i.tle?”

“Of course, it would be good if we could take revenge, but since we can"t change rules that were fixed, it"s pointless to grumble about it. It"s better to get some realistic prize.”

Saying that, Yuuji smirked. Abandoning the name and getting the reward...on one hand, this seems like what Yuuji would do—but for some reason, I feel that something"s not right. Uu, what"s wrong...

“As for the sudden spot-check. I think that not just the students, even the teachers said a lot to you regarding that, right?”

“...Humph, if you didn"t want your items to be confiscated, you shouldn"t have brought such ridiculous things to school. What do you treat school as!?”

Though it was all in the name of education, Fumizuki Gakuen"s spot checks were a lot stricter than other schools. An ordinary school would return students" personal belongings back to them even after confiscating them. Not just the students, I guess it wouldn"t be too much of a surprise to see teachers telling the princ.i.p.al that "that"s too much".

“It"s because of such a ruling that I would raise this proposal to you. If you can accept my proposal, we would obediently abide the tournament format. If you would give us a chance, we would do our best to hold back this dissatisfaction. To you right now, this should be a good deal, right?”

“So your unhappiness would explode because you guys don"t know what"s going on? I can just tell the students that there"s "a chance to get back the confiscated items", and even if you can"t get them back, you guys would be angry at yourselves for losing instead of us teachers.”

“Mn, that"s the case. No matter what, anyone would hate to be weak as they get plundered. But if there"s a chance, even if humans fail to get what they want, they can unexpectedly accept such an outcome.”

Yuuji"s again talking about some deep stuff with the princ.i.p.al. Basically, if we don"t get a chance to fight back, everyone would feel bad. Is that the case?

“So that"s the idea. What do you think, d.a.m.ned old granny?”

Yuuji turned to the side and faced the princ.i.p.al. I don"t know what they"re talking about, but it seems like I should go along with Yuuji.

“Please, d.a.m.ned old granny.”

I stood beside Yuuji and copied him as I stepped towards the princ.i.p.al.

Hearing us say that, the princ.i.p.al stroked her chin and said,

“So...regarding this, instead of a deal, you"re begging me for it, right? But seeing you people beg me with that att.i.tude, I can"t possibly nod in agreement so easily.”

Uu...I tried my best to endure that ugly "you d.a.m.ned old granny" that was rising up to my mouth, because I was trying to understand what she was saying.

“Excuse me...but what are you talking about here?”

“Calling someone older than you "old granny"...how can I agree to you brats and your request?”

I see. Since she doesn"t like people calling her "old granny", I"ll just repeat this.

“Sorry for that, "d.a.m.ned".”

“Like what "d.a.m.ned" said, we should be more careful.”

“HOLD ON A MINUTE! YOU JUST REMOVED THE "OLD GRANNY" FROM THE "d.a.m.nED OLD GRANNY"!”

The princ.i.p.al twisted her face in anger. She"s too stubborn already. How can we possibly accommodate so many requests.

“Forget about that. What do you think?”

“Uu, well...during the sports meet, there will be guests from other countries. It will be best if you guys can behave yourselves...the summoned beast baseball tournament match between cla.s.s 2-A and 3-A will be shown to them. As for you stupid brats, just focus on the baseball match. Then I"ll let the guests view the other sports meet event. That should be safer...”

It seems like we got treated as some trouble. But at this point, better close one eye and don"t argue too much with her.

“Really, you guys. Alright, I accept.”

“Really? Thanks for helping us out then.”

Yuuji and the princ.i.p.al nodded.

Now then, though our aim to revert the tournament format back wasn"t accomplished, at least we managed to gain an opportunity to get back our confiscated items. That shouldn"t be much of a drop off.

“Since we"ve decided, we"ll write it in black and white, and we have to write about the prize, otherwise we will be bothered if you use the line "I never heard of that before".”

“d.a.m.ned brat, that"s my line.”

Then, Yuuji and the princ.i.p.al started bickering with each other, and started writing down the rules of the tournament.

“So only one subject is to be used for each match of the summoned beast baseball match?”

“I don"t mind. But wouldn"t you guys feel bothered if it"s just one subject?”

“Yeah. If possible, I hope to have different subjects for all innings.”

“Okay, I can agree to that. It"s related to studies anyway.”

“That"s a great help to us. If that"s the case, how about writing down "you must choose one of the taught subjects" instead of "using the subjects for the summoned beasts" to make it easier to understand, right?”

“I"m fine as long as it doesn"t distort the original meaning of the rules itself.”

Both of them continued to talk (or rather, it"s just Yuuji negotiating), and the blueprint for the baseball rules were almost set. It"s great that things are going smoothly due to Yuuji"s plans, but I have a feeling that something"s not right...

Summoned beasts baseball tournament rules (school rules)

After our negotiations ended, we returned to cla.s.s F. On the way, I finally realized the reason why I was so troubled.

Ahh, speaking of which...

"Yuuji, as for just now..."

"Are you talking about the summoned beast baseball tournament?"

"Mn, it sounds like a reasonable decision...but that"s on the a.s.sumption—that we can win the match, right?"

Just now, Yuuji did say that "if we win, the teachers will return the confiscated items back to us". That"s right, in other words—unless we "win the tournament", we can"t get back the prize. If we can give up our revenge to get back those confiscated items back, it does sound reasonable, but in fact, that"s not the case. This is a tournament that has to be won with marks. How can we win against the teachers!? If that"s the case, I might as well find a chance to vent all my anger and take revenge on them.

Hearing me say that, Yuuji revealed a "it"s rare that you would notice this" expression and glanced at me before saying,

"You"re right. In terms of the outcome, if we can"t win in the baseball tournament, it would have no meaning at all. Because she knew it, that d.a.m.ned old granny agreed to our request."

"So that"s the case. But our opponents are those teachers. The chance of us winning against them is practically..."

"Mn, that"s the case. Most likely, we can"t win if we play normally..."

There"s a whole lot of difference between those teachers" marks and ours. Though we do have to look at the subject tested, there"s a whole lot of difference in skill.

"So Yuuji, what plan have you thought of?"

"Hm? What you talking about?"

"Stop playing dumb. You definitely looked like you were thinking of something when you gave that pondering look. And you decided those rules, right? You thought of a plan already, right?"

"Uu, that"s the plan. How can I possibly fight a losing battle?"

"Yeah, so? What did you plan?"

"Like you said, I intend to use those rules—but it"s interesting only when we do it. Besides, if I tell you now, you will definitely forget."

How rude, I just can"t remember things occasionally.

"But Yuuji, why are you so enthusiastic all of a sudden? It seems like you didn"t just get your MP3 player confiscated, is it?"

"And three deluxe edition picture alb.u.ms."

"You actually managed to hide three of them in your house...aren"t you too amazing?"

To actually be able to escape Kirishima-san"s search and Yuuji"s mom"s natural instincts! Yuuji"s way too amazing to be able to hide them like this...

"I hide them under the bookshelf, or in the ceiling board, or even wrapping them up in a completely waterproof package and dropping them into the freshwater fish tank. I spent a lot of effort on them..."

"So you couldn"t immediately take them out to read."

So that"s what they mean by mixing up the aim and the means.

"If I didn"t do that, I couldn"t protect those treasures. Besides, the level of those alb.u.ms were already enough for me to use such drastic measures."

"I see. If they"re so great, I want to read them."

"...Me too."

I nodded heads with Kirishima-san who was right beside me. How great are those picture alb.u.ms? Since Yuuji said that, I"ll try my best to get them back from the teachers and read through them.

"Okay, that"ll be all for now. Yuuji and Kirishima-san can now develop their relationship."

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, AKIHISA! HOW CAN YOU ABANDON ME LIKE THAT AT THIS MOMENT!?"

Yuuji forcefully grabbed my wrist, but if I continued to stay here, I"ll just see a devastating scene...

"...I really underestimated Yuuji. From now onward, no matter the basin or under the flower pots or the bathtub when Yuuji"s bathing, I will inspect them carefully."

"OI, hold on a minute. THE REAL AIM OF THE LAST ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH INVESTIGATIONS!!"

"...Because I have a duty to check Yuuji"s growth."

I see, so she has a need to check Yuuji"s growth.

"—Hm?"

Hold on a minute. Speaking of this "checking of growth"...doesn"t that mean—

"Kirishima-san, let me ask you something..."

"...What is it?"

"Kirishima-san, did you...bathe with Yuuji before?"

"...Before middle school."

"HYYYYAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"DANGER!!"

Che! He dodged! To be able to dodge that full-powered spinning kick of mine, this guy"s reflexes are no joke...

"LISTEN TO ME, AKIHISA! IT WAS BEFORE MIDDLE SCHOOL, BUT WE NEVER HAD THEM WHEN IT WAS 5TH, 6TH GRADE—"

"...And only a few times after my b.r.e.a.s.t.s grew."

"HHHHYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"WOOOHH!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!!!?"

"SHUT UP YOU PAGAN...YOU HERETIC WHO STEPPED INTO THE HOLY PLACE THAT SHOULD NOT BE DEFILED!!...YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS BLASPHEMY WITH DEATH!!! ALSO—"

"—YOU SHALL BE SUBJECTED TO THE MARTIAL LAW OF THE FFF!!!"

"HOLD, HOLD ON A MINUTE! WHEN DID YOU GUYS APPEAR!? I NEVER FELT YOUR PRESENCE UP TILL NOW!!! EVEN IF I DID BATHE WITH SHOUKO BEFORE, IT DOESN"T MEAN THAT ANYTHING HAP--GWWWOOOAAHHHH!!!"

"...Ah...Yuuji..."

"First cla.s.s inquisitor Yoshii, thank you for fishing out this heretic. It"s been tough on you."

"No no, I would like to thank you, leader Sugawa."

"...I just wanted to ask...about the "if we win the baseball tournament, can we get back all the confiscated items"..."