Ban Lu Qin Jun - Chapter 9
“Sorry! Yun Zhai, I am sorry. Everything is my fault……”
Even if in his unconsciousness, Zuo Zhen Yu was still muttering his apology. Xi Ning who was taking care of him almost had his tears roll down, and his apologizing voice, every syllable practically broke Yi Yun Zhai’s heart.
Yi Yun Zhai was pained to the marrow of his bone, holding on the bed as he sobbed.
What had he actually done? Three years ago, he had promised to look after Xiao Lan Xun for all of his life. Wanted to ward off the wind for her and keep her safe from rain, whoever was not allowed to hurt his most beloved person.
And now he was the one who hurt Zuo Zhen Yu the most, the deepest. Why would he go against his own pledge? Why didn’t he protect his beloved person?
“Lan Xun……Lan Xun……” He called out in soft broken voice.
Zuo Zhen Yu opened his eyes, upon seeing him, his eyes became tearful, he wept and said: “It was me who had harmed you to this miserable state! Yun Zhai, everything is my fault! I shouldn’t have let you love me, it was my fault, it was my fault……”
Things had come to this point, could it be that these two intended to burn the jade and stone together* before they were willing to end it? Xi Ning didn’t want to see someone commit suicide again. He knelt down all of a sudden, begging Yi Yun Zhai to let go.
(t/n : * To burn Jade and stone together (id) : to destroy indiscriminately, to bring destruction for both sides.)
“Young Master, carrying on like this is not the way out. Let Young Master Zuo go, just regard it as you two had never known each other!”
Yi Yun Zhai’s whole body gave a jolt.
Wanted him to let go the former days’ sweet memories, wanted him to personally let go of Xiao Lan Xun, upon the thought, a stream of shiver made his whole body shudder.
Wanted him to could no longer see Xiao Lan Xun, it was impossible for him!
This way was the only way out if there was no other way! Zuo Zhen Yu’s weeping voice was like grieving, each voice was filled with deep sorrow, “It is me who owes you, I will be willing to spend the rest of my life lighting the oil lamp in the Buddhist temple, for all my life praying for your blessings, earnestly pray for both your happiness and longevity……” The tears were dripping drop by drop to the brocaded quilt, “Like a flower dedicated to accompany you.”
Yi Yun Zhai angrily roared : “I don’t need a dedicated flower. I only want……only want……”
Zuo Zhen Yu hearing his few earlier words, already could guess what the next words will be. He cried until his whole body was trembling and fainted again. Xi Ning urgently called for a doctor, by then Zuo Zhen Yu finally could regain his consciousness.
☆☆☆
The backyard’s commotion was so loud, since earlier had aroused rumor within the Yi’s residence. The rumor said Yi Yun Zhai locked Xiao Lan Xun in the backyard. Master Yi of course wouldn’t believe his own son could commit this kind of absurd matter. But the doctor in succession had come for multiple rounds, caused him had no choice but to believe.
Today, he directly came to the backyard. Once caught sight of the reclining on the bed in lethargic sleep Zuo Zhen Yu, he couldn’t restrain from retreating several steps.
“This…… Isn’t this Xiao Lan Xun?”
Even though he hadn’t personally seen Xiao Lan Xun in person, but Yi Yun Zhai had asked a famous master of painting to paint out her portrait. The person in front of him was more graceful than the person in the portrait, let anyone upon a glance already could figure out that this person was indeed Xiao Lan Xun.
“She* didn’t die?”
(t/n : * In previous translation I have explained about the she and he p.r.o.nounce in Chinese. In Chinese, She and He has the same p.r.o.nunciation, only difference is in the written. So, here, the father address Zhen Yu as She/her while Yun Zhai who knows about him address him as He/him. )
Master Yi saw that the people’s faces on the scene were sweating. Xiao Lan Xun’s forehead split to a big hole, adding to the previous rumor that his son was diligently visiting the red-light district, at home he kept concubines and so on, committed all kinds of outrageous affairs, Master Yi immediately understood more than half of the matter. He gave orders at once: “Right away call someone to send Xiao Lan Xun out of Yi residence!”
Yi Yun Zhen was greatly alarmed. Master Yi then scolded him for a short while.
“I don’t know what kind of misunderstanding or grat.i.tude and grudges between you two, but she already knocked herself to a pillar for a suicide. That represented that she didn’t want to stay by your side. If you didn’t treasure her, what is the need to torture her? Even if the Heaven could tolerate this kind of matter, I will not allow in Yi residence for someone who to be put into great inconvenience.”
Seeing the trace of blood on the forehead, the tear stains on the face, Master Yi was fully aware of his own son’s impulsive nature, perhaps everything was his fault. To let him and Xiao Lan Xun meet again, very likely that Xiao Lan Xun would be hounded to death.
“Send her out at once! Forbid Young Master to see her, stir her, not even to touch a strain of her hair. Give her gold and silver, hundred taels*, send her far far away, let Young Master to not be able to find her for all eternity.”
(t/n : *Tael : ancient currency.)
Yi Yun Zhai’s whole body was shuddering, “No……No, Father, don’t send him away.”
Zuo Zhen Yu for the past three years already didn’t agree to see him, now if he was sent away, maybe he couldn’t see him again forever! Wanted him to not see him again…….No, he absolutely wouldn’t agree.
“You treated someone’s daughter like this, you still dare to forbid me from sending her away? Or should I send you away instead.”
Master Yi was fuming, his eyes glaring. The scolding was even more offensive.
“Father, I am at fault! I beg you don’t send him away. I had a little misunderstanding with him, now I already can think clearly. I want to marry him to become my wife. Love him for the rest of my life…….”
Master Yi also knew that he towards Xiao Lan Xun was using his deepest feeling. Although he didn’t know why they quarreled to the extent Xiao Lan Xun committed suicide, but his son beg for forgiveness had caused him to soften his heart.
“Do you dare to vow to the Heaven?”
Yi Yun Zhai immediately vowed to Heaven, “I, Yi Yun Zhai, vow to Heaven, for the rest of my life I will only love Xiao Lan Xun, forever love him dearly, be gentle to him, never betray him.”
Master Yi hearing him vow in such earnest, his anger in the end calmed down a bit.
“Take her to the guest room! She is not a prisoner, no need to be locked up by you, and also once she regains consciousness, if she was afraid of you, dreadful of you, say want to leave, you may not stop her, do you hear me?”
“Yes. Father, I will never let him leave me again.”
Yi Yun Zhai’s face when he carried Zuo Zhen Yu in his arms was gentle as well as full of affection, it made Master Yi couldn’t bear to see it.
“I don’t understand you youngsters’ problem. But since you love her, what kind of serious matter that could make you torment her like this? If by chance she really died, by then you will truly weep in sorrow, find it too late to repent, won’t you? Then why the need you for these past three years painfully searched? I think three years ago when she left you, it must’ve been your fault.” Master Yi couldn’t help but sigh.
XI Ning hearing Master Yi without understanding the situation kept on nagging, both wanted to laugh and wanted to cry. However, if his Young Master because of this could open his mind, maybe this was a good meddlesome!
☆☆☆
“Young Master, things have come to this, it would be better to take Young Master Zuo out and find a home for him!”
Moving Zuo Zhen Yu to the guest room, Yi Yun Zhai seemed to come to a decision, unlike the former agitation.
“Young Master, you torment yourself and Miss Lan Xun……. Young Master Zuo, is it worth the trouble?”
Yi Yun Zhai gazed at Zuo Zhen Yu’s dainty appearance, softly said: “What father and you had said is true. I shouldn’t torment him and me like this. Xiao Hong’r and him have similar appearance, wholeheartedly wanted to marry me. Why was it the more I was together with her, the more I felt disgusted. On the contrary, he had changed beyond recognition, yet I still went daily to his broken house to look at him a glance so that I can be at ease, seeing his tears, my body fiery burnt, it was hard to control myself. Clearly knew that he was a man still had no way to control myself……”
“Young Master……” Xi Ning waited on Yi Yun Zhai in Xiao’s house in those days, also knew the him at that time was really strange.
“I love him! I so love him. even if he hid his ident.i.ty, face had completely ruined, I still couldn’t help myself from loving him, looking at him, being gentle to him, then why the need to ruin myself and him like this? In this world cutting sleeve* h.o.m.os.e.xual relationship is also heard of since long ago. I actually ignored him for what, to the point I forced him to end his own life? I am truly too heartless.”
(t/n : *cut sleeve (id) : euphemism for h.o.m.os.e.xuality.)
Didn’t really understand what was Yi Yun Zhai talking about, but Xi Ning still attentively listened to him.
“I want him to stay by my side. I want to marry him!”
“Marry……Marry him?” Xi Ning was shocked to nearly bitting off his tongue. Young Master had gone mad?
Yi Yun Zhai after reading aloud his feeling, his mood in a split second relaxed a great deal.
He basically was a bright person, It’s just that he was trapped by love, so that Xiao Hong’r and others could deceive him for such long time. Now that his mind had been cleared, everything became clear at once.
“That’s right! I want to marry her. He is called as Lan Xun, given name is Zhen Yu. I want to make him marry me in woman’s apparel. For this lifetime, I will admit him as my wife.”
“Wait……Wait, Young Master, are you for real?”
“That’s right! You take a good care of him. I will go to learn, between the h.o.m.os.e.xual how do they make love. I will go to make some inquiries. Will be back in a while.”
“Young Master……Hey…… Young Master……”
Yi Yun Zhai seemingly had put down the heavy burden on his shoulder, had swept away the haze. Nevertheless, Xi Ning had begun to feel worry.
Young Master had gone crazy! Right. He certainly became extremely mad, that’s why he could think of making a man marry him! Xi Ning sighed sorrowfully with whole face in sadness.
☆☆☆
Zuo Zhen Yu awoke. Xi Ning told Zuo Zhen Yu what Yi Yun Zhai had told him. Zuo Zhen Yu hearing this, his mood instead became even more distressed.
Was it because of his existence, to cause Yi Yun Zhai’s rationality to be in disorder? Zuo Zhen Yu thought to himself.
Xi Ning just recounted the half of it, Zuo Zhen Yu already couldn’t bear from shedding tears. Yi Yun Zhai just opened the door to come in, he caught the sight of Zuo Zhen Yu’s mournful face, glared at Xi Ning at once, then chased him out.
“Zhen Yu, I bought lotus seed bun that’s very well-known around here, you are injured, I will rip it for you to eat.”
Every word and action of Yi Yun Zhai at this moment was like the three years ago when the two were still together, caused Zuo Zhen Yu’s heart to be unbearably hurt, nearly about to cry.
“What? You don’t like me treating you well?” Yi Yun Zhai asked in a gentle voice.
“I have wronged you. You hating me, getting angry at me is as it should be. I don’t deserve you treating me well.” Wiped away the tears, Zuo Zhen Yu forced himself to brace up, but couldn’t bear but crying again.
Once he cried, Yi Yun Zhai ripped a little lump of the bun, squeezed it to his mouth, that both sweet and nice-smelling flavor made Zuo Zhen Yu though wanted to cry but wasn’t able to.
“Is it delicious?”
Zuo Zhen Yu’s whole mouth was filled with the sweet-smelling flavor, he dazedly nodded his head, didn’t know why Yi Yun Zhai today could change his nature.
The former cold and unfeeling towards him Yi Yun Zhai already no longer could be seen. Now the one before him was like the three years ago Yi Yun Zhai before finding out his ident.i.ty as a man.
“Delicious.”
“Eat some more, alright?”
How could he refuse his wish? Zuo Zhen Yu rapidly nodded his head.
Yi Yun Zhai ripped another lump and squeezed it to his mouth again. After seeing him chew for several time, he asked him: “Can I eat too?”
“Of course can.”
Soon after he earned Zuo Zhen Yu’s consent, Yi Yun Zhen abruptly leaned close to his face, with his mouth he tasted his sweet and fragrant lips, made Zuo Zhen Yu to be surprised to the point didn’t dare to move.
“You are so sweet and fragrant. I feel like I haven’t kissed you before.”
Zuo Zhen Yu’s breathing became rapid, because Yi Yun Zhai’s pair of hands had pulled him into his embrace, simultaneously gently kissed him on his ears.
“That day I got drunk and went to that little house, did I take advantage of you?”
Zuo Zhen Yu’s breathing was rushing, he couldn’t answer, but his tears saying it was right. Yi Yun Zhai from his expression already got the answer.
“Please marry me! Zhen Yu. However, must put you into great inconvenience, wearing woman’s clothing to marry me. We will be together forever, never be parted anymore, alright?”
“You……Have you gone mad?” Zuo Zhen Yu hearing him saying this, could no longer be able to bear the sorrowful tears from rolling down. If he could marry him, why should he hide from him for so long
“I love you! Except for you, I don’t want anybody else! If this is called as madness, then just let me be mad!” Yi Yun Zhai sincerely and faithfully said to him.
“You……You……”
“Even if three years ago you frankly said to me that you are a man, I probably would’ve still loved you.” Yi Yun Zhai revealed a wry smile, explained clearly his feeling to him.
He had straightened out his thinking, even if Zuo Zhen Yu frankly and sincerely told him that he was a man, maybe he would stay the same as before, would helplessly be in love with him.
“You should know, Xiao Hong’r’s appearance and yours might be similar, but the more I saw her the more I loathed her. Everyday must go to the little cabin to listen to an ailing man playing qin so that could be at ease, his whole face was destroyed, but every time he cried he made me agitated to the point of being unable to hold back, almost wanted to embrace him, never wanted to let him go for all eternity? All of this situation frightened me until I was fl.u.s.tered and panic-stricken. Didn’t dare to go to that little cabin to listen to qin again, but still unable to dismiss you from my mind.”
Zuo Zhen Yu was struck dumb.
Yi Yun Zhai continued with his speech : “I asked Xiao family to move you out, never had expected they’d actually chase you out, upon catching sight of you suffering from hardship out there, I felt as if a knife was piercing my heart, that’s why I instructed my servant to go buy your paintings every day, hoped that your living would be a bit better. It was those calligraphy and painting, that’s why I could identify that you were indeed Xiao Lan Xun.”
“Is that true? So it was you!” Zuo Zhen Yu upon hearing this, couldn’t restrain from shouting out of surprise.
No wonder at that time there was a servant who would regularly come to buy his painting. If he asked that servant who was his Master, that servant always hummed and hawed. It appeared that he was ordered by Yi Yun Zhai not to say it.
Holding his hand, Yi Yun Zhai embraced him.
“I only love you. If you wanted me to helplessly let you go, it is impossible for me. I know you also feel the same, that’s why you couldn’t bear to see me suffer the solitude, then asked Xiao Hong’r to impersonate you, didn’t you?”
These words of Yi Yun Zhai, caused Zuo Zhen Yu to be moved and tearfully nodded his head.
“Let’s get married! I don’t want just because you are a man, then I have to marry another woman, and cause you to be heart-broken and suffering, moreover, ruin that woman’s life. You are my most beloved person, for this lifetime I will never let you go. You want me to be happy, I want you to be cheerful, want you to forever be with me.”
Zuo Zhen Yu was utterly moved, he cried again. Only that, this time it was the tears of happiness, unlike the former days’ endless sorrowful tears.
☆☆☆
After finishing the wedding courtesy of paying respect to the Heaven and Earth in the wedding hall, Yi Family was a layer of jubilation.
Yi Yun Zhai had found his beloved Xiao Lan Xun. Only that Xiao Lan Xun three years prior had sacrificed herself to dismiss the poison, face completely ruined, this matter by chance used by his uncle, Xiao Daye, making his daughter, Xiao Hong’r whose face resembled Xiao Lan Xun to take her place.
But the Xiao Family wasn’t satisfy with just this, afraid that their plot could fall through and stand exposed, they ordered someone to drive Xiao Lan Xun away, harmed her to wander about in the street, nearly die of illness.
And Yi Yun Zhao although didn’t know that she was Xiao Lan Xun, but from beginning to end he was worried about her. Ultimately, for Xiao Lan Xun and Yi Yun Zhai, love would always find the way. The Xiao family must receive the spit and curse from all the people.
Xiao Lan Xun’s sentimental and grievance, aroused the poets to express it in poetic form. All the men were dying to have this kind of pretty woman to be in love with them for a lifetime. For a period of time, the two’s love story had become an exotic tale.
Only Xi Ning and Xiao Family knew the truth. Only that, the Xiao family, no matter how they started rumor to create trouble, saying Xiao Lan Xun was a man, absolutely none would believe them, instead they suspected them to purposely wanted to break this beautiful predestined fate. Under the wrath of the public, the Xiao family was better off shutting their mouths. Didn’t dare to say more.
And the only one who knew, Xi Ning, of course unlikely to shoot out his mouth and speak out the truth.
Ever since Yi Yun Zhai and Zuo Zhen Yu restored their relationship, he had returned to his normal condition, seemingly wanted to become a husband that wouldn’t bring shame for Zuo Zhen Yu. Compared to the former days, he had become even more serious in managing the family business, made Master Yi couldn’t help but praise him.
Zuo Zhen Yu showed filial obedience to the parents-in-law, personally looked after the family. The two seemed to have the husbands sings and the wife follows* kind of life. In Xi Ning’s point of view, regardless of what they said, at present, this kind of situation compared to Yi Yun Zhai randomly marrying an unknown chaotic woman, then living in a suffering life, this one was much better.
(t/n : *The husband sings and the wife follows : a marital harmony.)
Once recalled about if unfortunately married with Xiao Hong’r, Yi family probably would be in great turmoil tragic state. Xi Ning just nonstop sent his grat.i.tude to Heaven, fortunately it was only him who didn’t open his eyes, wrongly recognized Xiong Hong’r as Xiao Lan Xun.
Even though the genuine Xiao Lan Xun was a man, so what? In any case, as long as Young Master is happy that was fine.
All along what Young Master did was always correct! Xi Ning esteemed him like this.
There was only Master Yi who secretly felt strange. He felt that Xiao Lan Xun might get help from the Heaven, Heaven helps the worthy. Or else, an ordinary woman, getting this poison since earlier should be dead. On contrary, she dragged on for several years. Because of this, he was definite that Xiao Lan Xun was truly a blessed person. This kind of woman, of course suitable for his son.
The wedding night, a pile of persistent people tried to find Yi Yun Zhai for drink. Xi Ning helped him to block them for a round. Wanted him to quickly go back to the room to accompany Zuo Zhen Yu.
Having Xi Ning to help him, Yi Yun Zhai smoothly avoided the miscellaneous people.
A moment of spring night worth a thousand gold. His most beloved Zuo Zhen Yu tonight can completely belong to him. How could it not make his blood and energy to be rising up, be dying to quickly return to his room?
Pushed open the door, lightly closed it, lifted up the red veil, Zuo Zhen Yu’s whole face was an intoxicating flushed red, seeing that Yi Yun Zhai was even more fascinated.
He for these past few days had bought not a few literary works regarding h.o.m.os.e.xual, all for the sake of tonight’s preparation.
He had embraced women, but had never embraced man. Those two time when he embraced Zuo Zhen Yu was when his state of mind wasn’t clear. Thinking back, for Zuo Zhen Yu, this was also not a happy experience.
Tonight he would wipe away the previous disgrace. Let Zuo Zhen Yu feel that being pa.s.sionate with him was a happy and joyous matter.
He didn’t want to hurt him, all the more didn’t want to let him hurt until weeping with grief. He had seen too much of his tears, tonight he only wanted to make him happy and attain pleasure under his body!