Volume 1, Chapter 8
“No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take.” – Gandalf
Dark, endless darkness, is this death?
Xu Jun suddenly realized that he still had his consciousness, he can still think. Is this the feeling after death? Did I become a soul? No angels with white wings or fire-spitting devils? Surrounded by only the boundless darkness. Nothing to see, nothing to feel. In addition, his thoughts were clearer in this darkness, clear in this endless darkness.
"Is this the eternal sleep of the Egyptians? But why am I still awake?" Xu Jun felt very puzzled at his current situation.
Xu Jun didn’t know how long of time had pa.s.sed, he spent his time thinking. Xu Jun began to recall his twenty-four years of life, thinking of his parents, relatives, friends, and cla.s.smates. Think of all the fun or boring things he’s done. Thinking of his own ambitions and his visions of the future. Thinking of his own home, his own room, his computer, his… favorite books. What he loved and adored were all processed by Xu Jun.
Is this the feeling of remorse? Xu Jun never really understood the meaning of that word. He knew the phrase that you don’t know something’s value until it’s lost. It seems that now he has a deep understanding of the meaning of that sentence. Xu Jun felt sad to know that he could not even cry in this void. He could only feel that grief, remorse, in his soul. Scolding his naivety and arrogance. Wishing that his parents forgive his decisions. Cursing the curator for his own cheating and his strange death in the hands of that “submarine”. (He still did not understand what happened in the end, the confused “ghost” Xu Jun was still not reconciled)
Finally, the desperate Xu Jun said, “If G.o.d would pity me, Xu Jun, please give me another chance, I swear upon this oath that I shall cherish all that is life. If G.o.d should pity I, Xu Jun, please give me life. I swear that I shall feel all that I’ve forgotten, shall be all that is good. Lest my life be in vain. If G.o.d may have mercy on me, Xu Jun, I swear that I shall never repeat the same mistakes. I will abandon my weakness, naivety, greed, and arrogance. I shall overcome all difficulties and obstacles. Lest I be in vain.”
Xu Jun swore to heaven, to depart from this endless darkness, to return to Earth. Suddenly, Xu Jun felt as if his own request may have worked. Because, in the darkness, he saw a spot of light, like a firefly, appear in front of him. Xu Jun tried to make out what the point of light was but after a while, he realized that the spot could not be seen with eyes. But rather it was a point in his consciousness.
“Is this an illusion in my brain?” Xu Jun was very disappointed. but gradually these spots started to pop up non-stop. Filling the void with points of light, like stars in the night sky. Scattered in colorful brilliance. The lights began rotating in Xu Jun’s mind. Spinning faster and faster. Xu Jun soon felt a little dizzy. However, he could not control the lights nor their rotation. Xu Jun forgot how long it was like this when suddenly the lights all disappeared. Followed by the familiar darkness.
But while Xu Jun was still recovering from his vertigo, he thought he heard a voice. He first suspected that it was another mental illusion. However, the sound was very light and very vague. He simply could not hear what was being said, it sounded like a large hallway and in the distance, some people were whispering. But after a while, Xu Jun affirmed that it is not an illusion. Due to the voice is getting louder and closer. It seems that several people were quarreling, the sounds of metal, the footsteps on the floor, and a variety of unfamiliar sounds.
Xu Jun so excited his brain might explode, the voice of people! G.o.d heard his request, he’s back on Earth!