It had been building inside, a storm she"d been holding back and now, she gave into it. As it broke inside her, she kept her teeth locked on her lip, biting so hard she tasted blood.
And in her mind, she said the words she"d wanted to say to him for so long.
I love you...
Morning came, a brilliant golden glow. Beautiful, stunning...and too d.a.m.ned early.
Groaning, Chaili snuggled deeper into the bed, trying to hide from the light and wondering why in the h.e.l.l she"d left her curtains open. She didn"t want to get up to shut them, though. She never slept this well anymore. Her mattress was ten years old and there was this one spot where she always ended up with the wires poking into her ribs- "I take it you"re not a morning person."
She tensed.
Oh, h.e.l.l.
Either she was still dreaming or the dream she"d been having last night...
The warm male body pressed up against her back shifted, stretched. A hand, big, hard and warm, caught her leg just behind the knee, pushed it high. "I"m going to f.u.c.k you again, Chaili," Marc whispered against her ear. "Just like this."
"Oh, h.e.l.l."
He laughed softly as he moved up onto his knees.
She"d barely caught her breath before he pushed inside, crouched over her. Her left leg was trapped between his and he had her right leg hooked over his elbow. As he started to thrust inside her, her breath caught.
The black silk of his hair fell into his face, and his eyes, still heavy lidded with sleep, watched her.
"I want to do this again," he rasped as he moved over her, in her, possessing her. Overwhelming her. "And again. And again."
In the soft, golden light of morning, there was no mistaking the want in his eyes. The need.
And she feared it would be hard to hide what she felt. Closing her eyes, she turned her face to the pillow as he moved inside. Bit her lip as her heart swelled inside her, as the need and yearning and want threatened to spill out and overwhelm her.
Love you...she thought blindly. Desperately.
Always him. Only him.
And now, not only did she have her dreams and memories to haunt her, she had the taste of him imprinted on her senses, the feel of his hands rasping over her flesh...
"Look at me," he growled.
Turning her head, she stared at him through her lashes. Fire burned through her. And at the look in his eyes, the need only grew.
"Watch me."
Her breath caught as their gazes locked. The jewel-like tones of her eyes seemed to glow. Seemed to burn.
Marc hunkered over her, wishing he could make the moment last...and last. She was so f.u.c.king beautiful, and when she looked at him, he felt...h.e.l.l, like himself. He felt real and whole, like he didn"t have to hide, like she was just fine with the man making love to her.
But it couldn"t last...wouldn"t. As she tightened around him, her lashes drifting low over her eyes and a broken moan escaping her, the silken muscles in her p.u.s.s.y milked him, clutching at him. She was so soft, so tight. She reached down, gripping his wrist, her nails sinking into his skin like she had to have something to hold on to.
He understood that... He felt like he was about to fly into a million pieces.
As she cried out, the climax twisting through her, he drove deep...and fell apart.
He wasn"t even sure if there were a million pieces left when it ended. She just might have undone him completely.
He was cuddled up against her back once more and Marc was pretty certain it was the best way to spend a morning. Ever. Normally he"d think something like that through about fifty times before he said it to a woman, and maybe debate about it for a few days, wait until the opportunity arose again before he said it. Especially considering how often his mouth ended up getting him in trouble.
But he didn"t have to do that here, not with Chaili. Stroking his thumb along her side, he reminded himself of that.
Then his thoughts stuttered to a halt as he stroked his thumb over her side. There was a ridge under his thumb. Raised against her soft, smooth flesh. A scar...?
What...
As his mind started to process that, she reached up with her hand, guided his hand down to her hip. Closing his eyes, he blew out a breath. She had a scar on her ribs. Okay. Would explain why she didn"t want to take off the shirt. He"d thought maybe she was just self-conscious. Chaili had always had a long, lean build. Amazing legs. An a.s.s that made his hands itch to touch... Jerking his mind back on track, he thought it through. So it was self-consciousness. And maybe something else. He could still remember that flicker of pain he"d seen in her eyes last night. He"d figure it out.
It was a bridge he"d cross next time, or the time after.
Now he just needed to make sure she"d be open to a next time.
"I"ve been thinking," he said softly.
Chaili laughed, shooting him a look over her shoulder. "Thinking...is that what we call it now?"
He swatted her hip lightly. "Brat." He nipped her neck and then licked her skin, loving the taste of her. "Hmmm, you taste good. Anyway, I was thinking. I"ve decided this is probably the best way I"ve ever spent a morning. Matter of fact, I"m pretty d.a.m.n sure of it."
A faint blush settled over her cheeks. "Hmm. Well, considering it"s a ridiculously early hour, I guess it"s not been too bad."
"Gee, thanks," he said deprecatingly.
"Hey, I can"t help that you"ve got windows that face the sun and I was woken up at the crack of dawn." She sniffed and snuggled back down into the bed. "Although I guess it"s a good thing. I"ve got a big project and I need to get to work. If something didn"t wake me up, I just might have slept the day away. This bed is amazing."
He grinned down at her. "So you"re pleased about the bed."
A smile curled her lips. "I"m pleased about everything right now, truth be told."
"Good." He sat up, pushing his fingers through her hair. "I was wondering...ah, maybe we could go out sometime. Like, um...a date. You know."
Smooth, Casanova, he told himself.
She rolled onto her back, pulling the blankets up and tucking them under her arms. "A date."
"Well...yeah." Shooting for a smile, he managed what he figured wasn"t too strained. And why did he have to try and smile around Chaili, anyway? Being with her felt easy. Natural. Why in the h.e.l.l was he putting up with women who annoyed the h.e.l.l out of him when he could have this? "I mean, we had fun and all, right?"
"Sure." She sat up. "Fun. Although this was a little more than I think we planned on."
"Yeah." Okay, he was struggling here. He knew it, could feel it. Could feel the slippery ground under his feet. "I guess I got my money"s worth, right?" As soon as he said it, he wanted to jerk it back. "s.h.i.t. I didn"t mean it like that."
She gave him a brittle smile. "Of course."
As she rose from the bed, he scrambled forward, reaching for her hand.
"d.a.m.n it, Chaili, wait!"
"I really have to get going." She glanced around, crossed the room to pick up the dress she"d draped over a chair in the sitting area by the northern wall. "That project of mine has a deadline coming up. If I don"t get some time put in every day, I won"t get it done and I can"t afford to lose an account like this."
"Chaili..."
With a vague smile on her face, she crossed to stand in front of him, rising on her toes to kiss his cheek. "It was a nice night. I hope I did okay at the party. The companion thing is a still fairly new for me."
His money"s worth.
Chaili would like to tell him to shove the money up his very fine a.s.s, but she wasn"t about to let him know just how much he"d hurt her. As she finished zipping up her dress, he knocked on the door. "d.a.m.n it, Chaili, will you get out here and talk to me?"
"Sure. Just give me a minute," she called out, forcing her voice to sound a h.e.l.l of a lot easier than she felt. She wanted to chew gla.s.s. Wanted to cry. Wanted to hit something. Wanted to break. She didn"t know what she needed, but she needed something.
Well, no, that wasn"t true. She needed to get the h.e.l.l out of there and now. Turning on the water, she splashed it on her face, hissing at the cold shock of it. She finished washing her face and scrounged around for a toothbrush, but he only had his and she wasn"t about to touch it. She had one of those disposable ones in her purse; it would do the trick. She"d grab some of the mouthwash, though.
In another minute, she was about as ready as she was going to be and she opened the door to see him standing there. Armed with a polite, professional smile, she lifted a brow and asked, "What did you need to talk about? We need to make it fast, though...I really do need to get going."
"Chaili..." He just stared at her, his eyes locked on her face.
Silence stretched out. Forcing herself to keep smiling, she checked the time on the big wall clock and then looked back at him. "Mark, I have to get moving. Did you want to drive me back or should I call a cab?"
"You"re not calling a f.u.c.king cab," he growled. "It would take forever to get here and you live a good thirty minutes away."
"That"s fine. Can we talk on the drive back, then?" She headed out of the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him scrub his hands over his face.
If she didn"t have a gaping, bleeding wound in her heart, she might have taken some pity on him. But she just couldn"t. Not right now. Not yet.
Maybe after she"d had a few weeks, a few months...a few decades...to lick her wounds. She shouldn"t have tried, d.a.m.n it. Not after the last time. She should have known better.
Her purse was in the kitchen and she scooped it up, dug out one of those mini toothbrushes she"d tossed inside and turned around, found Marc standing just a few feet behind her, a silent, brooding shadow. "Just a minute," she said, flashing him another polite, easy smile. That"s it, she told herself. Keep it nice and professional. Like you should have done yesterday. It will be done soon and you can forget this ever happened-liar!
Not that she would be able to forget. And d.a.m.n it, anyway. Why did he have to say that...
Locked inside the bathroom off the main hallway, she pressed her back against the door and sullenly tore the foil off the back of the toothbrush packet. She"d had some seriously good memories stockpiled there. A lot of them. And now...
Tears p.r.i.c.ked the inside of her eyelids. Now this was just going to be another one of the hollow, empty aches that kept her awake at night.
Chapter Five.
She wouldn"t talk. Oh, h.e.l.l, she talked, but she commented about how pretty a morning it was. What a nice drive it was. How nice the party had been.
And every single d.a.m.n time he tried to circle back around to what had happened, she waved it off. Smiled vaguely. Acted like she didn"t comprehend what he was talking about.
As they got closer to Shera"s place in Arlington Heights, he wove through the traffic, wishing it were actually worse for a change. He was running out of time to get her to talk to him, to get her to forgive him for being an a.s.s. "Listen, Chaili, I was an a.s.shole this morning. I didn"t mean that the way it sounded, okay?"
Ha. He actually got the entire sentence out- "Hmm?"
Shooting her a look, he realized she was messing with her iPhone. What the... Snarling, he reached over and snagged the phone, shoved it between his legs.
"Hey!" she snapped.
"You"re welcome to get it," he offered.
She sighed. "Marc, I"m trying to take care of some business here, okay?"
"And I"m trying to talk to you. I told you I was sorry. I keep trying to tell you." Shooting a look in the rearview mirror, he cut over for the exit and shot onto the ramp.
"You"re going the wrong way. It"s the next exit."
"I"m taking the long way around," he said. She was finally talking-or at least not changing the subject. "I"m sorry, Chaili."
"Yes. You"ve said that. Repeatedly. You"re sorry. I heard you. It"s not an issue." She paused, held out a hand. "Can I have my phone?"
"I told you...you"re welcome to get it." He slowed down at the red light and looked over at her.
She had her head averted, staring out the window.
h.e.l.l.
"Can we...?" s.h.i.t. He was f.u.c.king this up every which way he turned. "I want to see you again."
"You see me fairly often, Marc. Or at least you do when you"re in town." She gave him a tired smile. "And hey, I live with Shera...that"s not likely to change any time soon."
"Are you deliberately being obtuse here or is it just me?"
Her answer was interrupted as somebody behind him laid on the horn. Marc jerked his gaze up and glared into the rearview mirror, not that it made him feel better.
"I"m not being obtuse and I"m sorry if I"m being difficult," she said, shifting in the seat. She plucked at the hem of her skirt, smoothed it down over pretty, tanned thighs. "Last night was a business arrangement, remember? I don"t do the companion thing often and I probably won"t be doing it much longer, so..."
"I"m not talking about a f.u.c.king companion," he snarled, whipping the car off the road and arrowing into the parking lot of a nearby shopping center. "I"m talking about you and me. On a f.u.c.king date. Is that so hard to comprehend?"
She turned her head. Just stared at him.
"Well?" he demanded. "Are you going to give me an answer?"
A slow smile bowed up her lips. "Sure, Marc. I"ll give you an answer...after you give me my phone."
"Aw, s.h.i.t." Shoving a hand through his hair, he grabbed her phone and dumped it into her hand. "You"re going to say no, aren"t you?"