"It"s fine-she"s wrapped up in him. I"m used to it." I guess I was stupid for thinking she might put me before herself, or him, for once, but it"s okay. Margaret"s been more of a mom to me this year than my own has been my whole life. The McLachlans are my family now and they love me. And I love them.
I"m discharged from the hospital for good behavior-no complications such as pain, bleeding, leaking, or contractions-but I"m given instructions to return immediately should any of these things occur. I"m to be on modified bed rest at home, meaning I can only shower and go to the bathroom. Otherwise I"m to do a lot of nothing while lying around. Dr. Sommersby says I may progress to routine activities after two weeks with one exception. No s.e.x. My v.a.g.i.n.a is completely off limits so nothing is allowed within the temple. Strict doctor"s orders and one of the few things she isn"t lax about.
This is going to be a rough five months.
"Couch or bed?" Jack Henry asks as we pa.s.s through the kitchen.
"I"m sort of sick of the bed so I think I"d prefer the couch for a little while. Maybe you can sit with me and we can watch TV."
"Absolutely. Mum thought you might need something comfy to wear the next couple of weeks so she brought some to the house this morning. Would you like me to get them for you?"
Margaret is so thoughtful. "Yes, please." Mental note: Call and thank her for that.
Jack Henry returns with a pink T-shirt and a pair of white and pink pinstriped pants. Both are soft cotton and freshly laundered. "I can"t believe she washed them too."
"She would do anything for you." He hands the clothes to me. "She loves you dearly."
My eyes fill with tears and my heart aches, but I don"t know if it"s the hormones or the sadness I feel when I think of how little my own mother cares about me. "I love her too."
"She knows."
I change into my new jammies and stretch out on the couch with a fluffy pillow under my head and my feet in Jack Henry"s lap. He"s rubbing my feet as we watch television and it"s one of the most boring times we"ve ever spent together. And I love it-just being with him in our home doing nothing. It"s absolutely s.h.i.tastic.
I"ve been home from the hospital for a week and every day is pretty much the same. I go to bed with Jack Henry every night without s.e.x. We wake up. He showers and goes to work. I shower and go to the couch. I lie there all day and when he comes in after work, we have dinner together on the couch. When"s it"s late, we go back to bed, again without s.e.x, for another night of sleep.
I"m a very compliant patient but it"s killing me.
Poor Addison. I don"t know how she maintained her sanity for as long as she did, especially in that small apartment, but her jail sentence ended this week. The placenta previa is gone and she"s allowed to return to her normal activities. First on her agenda is coming to see me, and I"m glad because I have questions for her.
I forgo the comfies and put on yoga pants and a T-shirt. It seemed much more fitting for company, although I have no doubt Addison spent her fair share of days in pajamas.
She comes into the living room and looks so adorable in her fitted white top and faded jeans with her belly b.u.mp. "Oh, Addie. Look at you." I get up from the couch to hug her and put my hands on her stomach. "He"s grown so much since I saw you last. I can"t believe it."
"I know. This is happening crazy fast." She puts her hands on her stomach and caresses it. He"ll be here in my arms in ten weeks. Can you believe that? I"m going to be a mom and then you will be too a couple of months after me." She reaches out and touches my small bulge. "You"ll be this big before you know it and you"ll wonder where all the time went."
"Are you and Zac any closer to choosing a name?"
"I want him to be named Donavon but Zac says everyone will call him Donnie and he hates that name."
"So what are his choices?"
She rolls her eyes and huffs. "Gareth. Tell me-if you had to guess-what do you think people would call my son when they shorten his name?"
Ugh! "Gary."
"Exactly." She puts her hands out. "So, how is Gary better than Donnie?"
Poor Addison. "They"re both pretty ... not great for a little newborn baby."
"Yeah, I agree with you there but Donavon is my maiden name, or it will be after we"re married, and I want to use it. It has meaning behind it. Nothing about Gareth is special." I like Gareth, although I tend to agree with Addie on this one.
"But do you like the name?"
She shrugs. "Eh ... it"s okay."
"Then what about Donavon Gareth or Gareth Donavon?" It"s a compromise and they both get to use the name they want.
"I want Donavon Zachary." That also seems fair since each of them will have one of their names used.
"What does Zac think about you wanting to use Zachary after him?"
"Oh, he"s fine with using his own name, just not mine. This baby is going to have Kingston as his last name so he gets his way on two of the three names by default. Shouldn"t I get to choose the other? I"m the one who"s been lying in bed miserable for over three months. Look at my a.s.s. I"ve already gained fifteen pounds because I couldn"t do anything but eat."
Thank G.o.d I only have another week to go with the bed rest.
It only seems fair to let her choose at least one of the names. "Have you told him how you feel?"
She looks at me quizzically, or maybe like I"m stupid. I can"t be sure which because both look about the same coming from Addie. "Are you kidding me?" I"m a.s.suming that"s a yes.
I was once given some marital advice by a very wise woman, and although Addie and Zac aren"t married yet, I think Addie could benefit from it. "Margaret shared some secrets with me about getting what you want. I haven"t put it to the test yet but she says we, as women, hold the power of the nookie and can use it to our advantage."
"How does that work?"
She isn"t going to like this part. "Withhold s.e.x."
She immediately shakes her head. "Nope. I don"t want to withhold s.e.x. I just started having it again and frankly, I missed the f.u.c.k out of it."
"Zac doesn"t have to know that."
"He can kind of tell how much I missed it. I"ve been making up for lost time." For some reason, I don"t doubt that for a moment.
"Do you want to embroider your son"s clothes with the name Donavon or Gareth? Your decision."
"I highly doubt Zac will let me embroider any of his clothes."
Talk of withholding s.e.x reminds me ... I"m not withholding but I won"t be getting any, either. "I"ve got a question. How did you survive not having s.e.x for three months?" I"m looking at five whole months and then a six-week recovery period. Six and a half months total. That"s brutal.
"We had plenty of s.e.x-just not the penetrating kind. Nothing in the v.a.g.i.n.a-that"s what my obstetrician told me-so Zac got plenty of b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs and I got lots of oral. And magical fingers. Zac can stroke me off like n.o.body"s business." She shrugs. "I don"t have to tell you that the baby"s safety always came first, so we did what we had to do to get by." I knew I could depend on her to give me an honest answer.
I"ve spent very little time considering the alternatives because I"ve been so scared about everything. But we have other options. And they"re good ones so we can still give and receive pleasure. We"ll just need to go into it disciplined, knowing Jack Henry can"t get inside me.
"I gotta know. What is Ben saying about all of this?"
"He was so p.i.s.sed off when I told him. He didn"t want to accept that his best friend was f.u.c.king his baby sister. I think he was pretending Zac was sleeping on the couch all those nights I stayed over at his apartment."
I think my caveman would like to think there isn"t anything like that going on between his sister and Ben, but I know differently. "Jack Henry isn"t taking it too well about Ben and Chloe, but he"ll come around."
"I don"t think he has much of a choice. Ben seems to have fallen hard for Miss Chloe." I"m really happy to hear that since she has it pretty bad for him.
"She told me she thought Ben was the one."
Addie puts her hands together and cups them over her mouth. "Oh ... that"s so sweet."
"And she said he was supremely f.u.c.klicious."
"Ugh!" She points her finger at me and laughs. "You are so wrong for telling me that. No one ever needs to hear that her brother is ... those words you said." She grimaces and feigns gagging.
I hold up my hands in surrender. "Okay. Moving on, then ..."
"What about the case with Blake? Heard anything else about that?"
"Not in a while but it should be coming up soon. I should probably call the prosecuting attorney and let him know about my ... condition. I hope they can postpone everything until after the baby is born because I have to testify. I want to."
"As you should. It"s your right to stand up and tell people what he did to you. No way he"ll walk away from this and when he"s found guilty, I hope he gets a h.o.r.n.y cellmate with a huge d.i.c.k." Eww. Leave it to Addison to come up with something like that.
I"d like to call for a case status when Addison leaves, so I look at the clock and calculate the time change in my head. b.u.mmer. It won"t work out today. I"ll have to wait until morning to catch Mr. Drake during office hours.
Addie and I laugh and catch up for hours. It"s good to be with her. I feel like we"ve spent too much time apart, although we"re living in the same town, only fifteen minutes between us.
I like the Addison I"m seeing. Motherhood is good for her. I guess it"s true-a baby really can change everything.
Laurelyn"s second week of bed rest has been uneventful and her late-morning appointment with Dr. Sommersby went well. Her cervix is unchanged-no bleeding, leaking, or contractions-and the baby has grown well since her last scan. It finally seems everything is getting back on track with this pregnancy. Except no s.e.x. "Since you"re officially released from bed rest, can I take you out to lunch to celebrate?"
"That sounds really good."
Eating anywhere besides our living-room couch will suit me. "Where do you want to go? Sheridan"s? Or what about that new hibachi restaurant? I"ve heard their sushi is amazing."
She"s grinning. "I really want a big, fat, juicy cheeseburger and a huge order of fries with a giant chocolate shake from that fifties diner on the square-the one you took me to last year."
Ah, yes. She was my companion then and things were still new. That morning was when I learned her real name and then she danced for me later that evening for the first time. It was a very memorable day and the recollection nudges me in the c.o.c.k, encouraging him to wake up. But I have to learn how to get that under control. I"m going to have a really long drought ahead of me.
We walk into the diner and nothing has changed-still a black-and-white-checkered floor with fifties decor. The aroma of freshly dropped french fries and frying hamburgers hangs in the air. "Want to sit at the bar again?"
"Probably not a good idea. I don"t think they"ll be very comfortable for my back so I"d rather sit at a booth."
We choose one directly behind the spot where we sat a year ago. "I want to put some music on. You already know what I want if the waitress comes by." She walks toward the jukebox and I watch her b.u.m sway side to side. Even pregnant, my wife is smokin" hot.
She isn"t gone long before she returns and I hear a familiar tune playing overhead, although I can"t immediately place it. She"s smiling and I know she wants to play name that tune, a game I can"t win with her. "I know this song but the name hasn"t come to me just yet-hold on a sec."
I listen for a moment and then it hits me. ""I Only Have Eyes For You," but I don"t know who sings it."
"The Flamingos, silly."
"Of course, how could I not remember? Oh yeah, maybe because I"ve never heard of them." She"s a musical genius. "I can"t believe I married a musical Wikipedia. Is there anything you don"t know about music?"
"Possibly, but I haven"t found it yet."
Our food arrives and L doesn"t hesitate to jump in. She takes a huge bite of her cheeseburger and ketchup drips down, landing right in the center of her swollen, pregnant cleavage. She was already beautifully endowed but the pregnancy has given her a little extra boost. Her t.i.ts look even more spectacular.
She looks down at the ketchup in the cleavage and then back to me. She licks her lips to clean the smear of ketchup from her mouth. "You"d really like to lick that off, wouldn"t you?" My c.o.c.k immediately awakens at the thought of my tongue running down into that cleft.
I put my cheeseburger on my plate and lean across the table to look into her eyes so she understands my seriousness. "I haven"t been inside you for three weeks and it doesn"t look as though I will be anytime soon, so you can"t say things like that to me. It"s torturous."
Her chewing slows and she puts her cheeseburger down. "Abstinence isn"t going to be all that pleasant for me, either. I enjoy s.e.x too."
I hope she doesn"t get mad at me for what I"m about to say. "I sort of have this hysteria that started when we left the doctor"s office. It"s sinking in that it will be months before I"ll have you again."
She uses her napkin to wipe the ketchup from her cleavage. "I"m sorry. I thought I was being cute."
I don"t want to sour her mood. "You are terribly cute ... and that"s the problem. I want you but can"t have you."
Her smile returns and I know we"re fine. "I"ll try to keep the cuteness to a minimum, then."
"That"s probably best."
We change the subject of s.e.x back to music and L tells me about every song playing overhead. "I chose this one because I love it so much, but they made a mistake putting it in the jukebox because it wasn"t released until the early sixties." I listen and recognize "Can"t Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley.
"I really like this song too." I get up from our booth and put my hand out to her. "Dance with me."
She looks at me as though I"ve lost my mind. "This is a diner. People don"t dance here."
"Maybe others don"t but you and I do."
She giggles and slides out of the booth. I grasp her hand in mine and place my free one on her lower back. "I wouldn"t do this if it weren"t almost empty in here."
The only other customers are an older couple admiring us from the corner booth. "They see how in love we are and it reminds them of how they were once like this too."
We sway to the tune of the song and I hold her close. "I couldn"t help falling in love with you." She smiles and I kiss the top of her head.
I hum the words I don"t know and whisper-sing the chorus as we sway. I return to humming when it comes to the next part I should know, but don"t. "I"ve never heard you sing before."
"It"s not really my forte."
"No, it"s not. Your singing sucks," she laughs.
"Thank you for breaking it to me gently."
"I doubt I"m breaking anything to you."
She"s right. I can"t sing worth a d.a.m.n. "I"ll bow out gracefully from the job of teaching our swarm to sing."
She stops swaying and looks up at me. "Sure you still want several after all that"s happened with this pregnancy? This problem with my cervix isn"t going away. I"ll need a st.i.tch every time and will be on pelvic rest for the entire pregnancy."
No way we"re giving up on our swarm. "Abstaining for months won"t be fun, but we"ll do what we gotta do for the family we dream of having."
"I love you, McLachlan." I pull her close again and return to humming.
It"s true. I couldn"t help myself from falling in love with this woman. When she took my hand, I willingly gave her my whole life.