"Let us hope not."
"Do you think I look ill?"
"Would you mind turning a little more towards the light?"
She sat still for a minute, then she laughed.
"I have always said that so long as one is with a doctor, _qua_ doctor, one must never think of him as a man," she said; "but--"
"Don"t think of me as a man."
"Unfortunately, there is something about you which absolutely prevents me from regarding you as a machine. But--never mind!"
She turned to the light, lifted her thin veil, and leaned towards him.
"Do you think I look ill?"
He gazed at her steadily, with a scrutiny that was almost cruel. The face presented to him in the bold light that flowed in through the large window near which their chairs were placed still preserved elements of the beauty of which the world had heard too much. Its shape, like the shape of Mrs. Chepstow"s head, was exquisite. The line of the features was not purely Greek, but it recalled things Greek, profiles in marble seen in calm museums. The outline of a thing can set a sensitive heart beating with the strange, the almost painful longing for an ideal life, with ideal surroundings, ideal loves, ideal realizations. It can call to the imagination that lies drowsing, yet full of life, far down in the secret recesses of the soul. The curve of Mrs. Chepstow"s face, the modelling of her low brow, and the undulations of the hair that flowed away from it--although, alas! that hair was obviously, though very perfectly, dyed--had this peculiar power of summons, sent forth silently this subtle call. The curve of a Dryad"s face, seen dimly in the green wonder of a magic wood, might well have been like this, or of a nymph"s bathing by moonlight in some very secret pool. But a Dryad would not have touched her lips with this vermilion, a nymph have painted beneath her laughing eyes these cloudy shadows, or drawn above them these artfully delicate lines. And the weariness that lay about these cheeks, and at the corners of this mouth, suggested no early world, no G.o.ddesses in the springtime of creation, but an existence to distress a moralist, and a lack of pleasure in it to dishearten an honest pagan. The ideality in Mrs. Chepstow"s face was contradicted, was set almost at defiance, by something--it was difficult to say exactly what; perhaps by the faint wrinkles about the corners of her large and still luminous blue eyes, by a certain not yet harsh prominence of the cheek-bones, by a slight droop of the lips that hinted at pa.s.sion linked with cynicism. There was a suggestion of hardness somewhere. Freshness had left this face, but not because of age. There are elderly, even old women who look almost girlish, fragrant with a charm that has its root in innocence of life.
Mrs. Chepstow did not certainly look old. Yet there was no youth in her, no sweetness of the girl she once had been. She was not young, nor old, nor definitely middle-aged.
She was definitely a woman who had strung many experiences upon the chain of her life, yet who, in certain aspects, called up the thought of, even the desire for, things ideal, things very far away from all that is sordid, ugly, brutal, and defaced.
The look of pride, or perhaps of self-respect, which Doctor Isaacson had seen born as if in answer to his detrimental thought of her, stayed in this face, which was turned towards the light.
He realized that in this woman there was much will, perhaps much cunning, and that she was a past mistress in the art of reading men.
"Well," she said, after a minute of silence, "what do you make of it?"
She had a very attractive voice, not caressingly but carelessly seductive; a voice that suggested a creature both warm and lazy, that would, perhaps, leave many things to chance, but that might at a moment grip closely, and retain, what chance threw in her way.
"Please tell me your symptoms," the Doctor replied.
"But you tell me first--do I look ill?"
She fixed her eyes steadily upon him.
"What is the real reason why this woman has come to me?"
The thought flashed through the Doctor"s mind as his eyes met hers, and he seemed to divine some strange under-reason lurking far down in her shrewd mind, almost to catch a glimpse of it ere it sank away into complete obscurity.
"Certain diseases," he said slowly, "stamp themselves unmistakably upon the faces of those who are suffering from them."
"Is any one of them stamped upon mine?"
"No."
She moved, as if settling herself more comfortably in her chair.
"Shall I put your parasol down?" he asked, stretching out his hand.
"No, thanks. I like holding it."
"I"m afraid you must tell me what are your symptoms."
"I feel a sort of general malaise."
"Is it a physical malaise?"
"Why not?" she said, almost sharply.
She smiled, as if in pity at her own childishness, and added immediately:
"I can"t say that I suffer actual physical pain. But without that one may not feel particularly well."
"Perhaps your nervous system is out of order."
"I suppose every day you have silly women coming to you full of complaints but without the ghost of a malady?"
"You must not ask me to condemn my patients. And not only women are silly in that way."
He thought of Sir Henry Grebe, and of his own prescription.
"I had better examine you. Then I can tell you more about yourself."
While he spoke, he felt as if he were being examined by her. Never before had he experienced this curious sensation, almost of self-consciousness, with any patient.
"Oh, no," she said, "I don"t want to be examined. I know my heart and my lungs and so on are sound enough."
"At any rate, allow me to feel your pulse."
"And look at my tongue, perhaps!"
She laughed, but she pulled off her glove and extended her hand to him.
He put his fingers on her wrist, and looked at his watch. Her skin was cool. Her pulse beat regularly and strongly. From her, a message to his lightly touching fingers, flowed surely determination, self-possession, hardihood, even combativeness. As he felt her pulse he understood the defiance of her life.
"Your pulse is good," he said, dropping her hand.
During the short time he had touched her, he seemed to have learnt a great deal about her.
And she--how much had she learnt about him?
He found himself wondering in a fashion unorthodox in a doctor.
"Mrs. Chepstow," he said, speaking rather brusquely, "I wish you would kindly explain to me exactly why you have come here to-day. If you don"t feel ill, why waste your time with a doctor? I am sure you are not a woman to run about seeking what you have."
"You mean health! But--I don"t feel as I used to feel. Formerly I was a very strong woman, so strong that I often felt as if I were safe from unhappiness, real unhappiness. For Schopenhauer was right, I suppose, and if one"s health is perfect, one rises above what are called misfortunes. And, you know, I have had great misfortunes."
"Yes?"