It isn"t worth the fight.
By the time dessert comes, I"m sitting on the edge of my seat, dying to know what is going on. He hasn"t brought up my trust fund, and I don"t want to because I really don"t want Avery to know I asked. I don"t want her to know I"m desperate enough to go to him, but it may come to that. I might have to look weak in front of my wife. That thought almost has me keeping my mouth shut. But all I can think about is the conversation with my coach this afternoon where he said someone complained about Avery basically living in the house. He told me he didn"t want to cause an issue, but I need to stop having her over. I understand that, I do, but she"s my wife. I want to sleep with her, make sure she is okay.
d.a.m.n it.
Swallowing hard, I clear my throat and say, "So, Dad, about my trust fund?"
Avery"s head whips up as she looks from me to my dad and then back. She"s essentially burning a hole in the side of my face as my dad wipes his mouth and sits back in his seat. "About that... You know I don"t think it"s a good idea."
My heart sinks as I lay my fork down, my hands shaking. "Dad, like I explained, we have to move off campus and I really need that money."
"Jace," I hear her whisper beside me, but I ignore her.
"Yeah, I know. I hear ya. So I spent the afternoon working up a contact for a nice little condo, right outside of campus, six-minute ride in. It will all be paid for, utilities included for the next year. I know you won"t need it that long, but just in case. Figure this way, you don"t have to worry about working-which I thought you said you were quitting-and you each can focus on hockey and songwriting."
Ellen is beaming beside him. Yeah, it sounds great, but I don"t want anything from him. "Wow, that"s awesome, Dad. But I really didn"t want a handout."
He laughs. "Jace, don"t be so proud. I want to help you, your wife, and my grandbaby. Call it a wedding gift if you need to so you feel better about it."
I hold his gaze because I know there is a catch. There has to be; there is no way he is this okay with everything. He"s being too overly nice. It doesn"t make sense. I look to Avery to find her watching me, and I can see it in her eyes.
She doesn"t want his help.
Swallowing again, I look back at him as he asks, "How"s that sound?"
"I mean, how can I turn it down?" I say and Avery looks away, shaking her head. But I take her hand, squeezing it hard. "But what"s the catch?"
My dad"s grin grows. "Catch?"
"Yeah, I know you aren"t going to do all that without something in return. Do I pay you back when I sign my contract?"
"Maybe he"s just trying to be nice?" Ellen suggests, but I shake my head.
"No, my dad doesn"t work like that. You"re new. Don"t worry, you"ll figure it out," I say, returning my gaze to my dad, and he"s still smiling. "So?"
"No, son, you don"t have to pay me back. I"ll even sign your trust fund over to you if you really want me to."
"Okay?"
"If..."
There it is.
"If?"
"Two things," he says, leaning on the table. "Avery has to sign a prenup that she can"t touch any of your trust fund or future salary if you two divorce."
Avery gasps, her hand coming down hard on the table. "How dare you? I would never."
Squeezing her other hand, I shake my head as she looks at me. "And?"
"Jace?"
But I shake my head again, giving her a sideways glance. She snaps her mouth shut as my dad"s lips curve into an even more sinister grin. "And I want you to cut off all contact with your mom and siblings."
I can"t help it. I burst out laughing.
"What? Are you insane?" Avery gasps, her eyes wide, and I just laugh. This dude is ridiculous.
"No, they are trying to pull him away from me, and I don"t want that. I love you, Jace. I want to have a relationship with you. I want to see my grandchild."
I just shake my head. "If you loved me, you wouldn"t want to keep me from my family," I yell at him and his eyes darken.
"I will do what is needed to maintain my relationship with you. If I have to bribe you, I will."
"Do you know how pathetic that is?"
"He loves you!" Ellen yells at me, but I hold my hand up.
"Shut the f.u.c.k up," I snap at her, my gaze locking with my father"s.
He holds my gaze. I can"t believe him. He thinks this is okay. But there is no way in h.e.l.l I would ever agree to this. I will sleep separate from Avery, or h.e.l.l, I"ll share a room with her and Mekena before I ever entertain this. Trying to regain my composure, I sigh. But before I can tell him to f.u.c.k off, my gorgeous wife is talking.
"You are a despicable waste of s.p.a.ce if you think he"s doing that," she sneers, standing up and throwing her napkin on her plate. Looking down at me, she pins me with a look. "There is no way in h.e.l.l I"m letting you do this. And if you do this, you"ll be living by yourself. There is no chance that I"ll live with you, when doing what he asks would break your mom"s heart." Leaning down, she takes my face in her hands and begs me with her eyes. "I know what you"re doing. You"re desperate and you don"t have to be. We are fine without this douche canoe"s f.u.c.king money. You hear me, Jace Ryan Sinclair?"
Her eyes search mine and I can"t help but smile. d.a.m.n it, I love this girl. "I hear you."
She lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank G.o.d, I really thought you were gonna do it."
"f.u.c.k no," I say with a laugh. "I love you, baby, but my mom and brothers and sister are a part of me."
"Completely agree," she says with a nod. "So you tell him to go f.u.c.k himself and let"s go."
"Whoa, now. Let"s discuss this. And don"t you talk to me like that, you little-"
"Watch yourself, Dad," I warn, turning out of her hands to glare at him. Slowly standing, I take her hand in mine and kiss the back of it before resting it on my chest. "As my gorgeous, amazing wife just said, go f.u.c.k yourself and never contact me again."
He stands up abruptly, his chair falling behind him as he pins me with a heated gaze. "You treat me with some respect, boy. You wouldn"t have half the s.h.i.t you have now if it weren"t for me."
"Yeah, I know. And I already regret it. Come on, baby," I say, pulling Avery with me as we walk out of the room. Her fingers squeeze mine and I know I just pa.s.sed up the chance of a lifetime.
A smooth ride until I go into the draft.
But I"d rather struggle with the love and respect of my family and Avery than take anything from that man.
"Jace, what the h.e.l.l were you thinking?"
He chances a glance at me, shaking his head. "Apparently, I wasn"t if I thought that was going to work out."
"Jace, you don"t need anything from him."
"Um, my trust fund would have been nice," he corrects, but I shake my head. "It was just an idea. It"s fine."
"No. You"re losing your s.h.i.t, Jace. You aren"t sleeping, you"re constantly worried, and I don"t know why you won"t lean on me a bit. That"s what I"m here for."
"No, I"m supposed to be your rock, not the other way around."
Flabbergasted, I throw my hands up. "Um, dumba.s.s, we are supposed to be each other"s rock! You are trying to do it all. Let me help. Do you want me to get a better-paying job? I will."
"h.e.l.l no. You focus on your songwriting. I got this."
"If you say you got this one more f.u.c.king time, I swear, Jace, I will cut you. I"ll cut off your d.i.c.k. Straight off."
He scoffs and shakes his head. "Calm down."
"Calm down?"
"Yes, you"re overreacting. It"s fine."
"It"s not fine! The last month has been h.e.l.l, you are a mess, you are worried about me constantly, and in return, you are making me worried."
He sets me with a look. "No, you don"t worry. That"s my job."
"Let it be mine too. Together. We are supposed to do this together."
He doesn"t say anything, only shakes his head once more before pulling into his parking spot at the Bullies" house. I clear my throat. "I know you think you can handle everything, but that isn"t fair. I don"t know how many times I gotta tell you this is a partnership, but I will till I"m blue in the d.a.m.n face," I yell and he leans his head back. "Are you even hearing me right now?" I ask, tears stinging my eyes. "I just want to alleviate some of the stress."
"I can"t let you," he roars and I cower toward the door as he sits up, demanding my attention. "Avery, I can"t let you because I don"t know if you can handle it. Do you know what it would do to me if you started cutting again? Or if one day you just decided you wanted to die because it is all too much to handle? I can"t f.u.c.king do it."
My jaw drops and my heart just stops. "Jace..."
"No. It kills me inside. I can"t ever let you get to that place. I will take on everything, fight every single one of the battles alone, as long as you are happy and feel loved. I don"t want you to feel alone, I don"t want to you worry, I don"t want you to think I don"t have this, because I do. Even though some days I"m pretty sure I don"t. But I can"t tell you that because I"m scared... I"m so f.u.c.king scared I"ll fail you." He stops, sucking in a breath, moving his hands through his hair and then down his face as my heart just aches for him. He"s been dealing with so much, but he didn"t reach for me.
"I sit up at night, praying I do right by you, that I don"t get hurt so I can give you and our child the life y"all deserve. Yeah, it"s been sucking, but I won"t fail you, Avery. I just f.u.c.king won"t. So yeah, I"m not asking you for help, but it"s not "cause I can"t use it, I could. But I love you too much to let you. I need you to be healthy and happy. I can do it all. I know I can."
Reaching out, I take his hands in mine and squeeze. "But you don"t have to," I stress. "Jace, I"m fine. I"ve never been happier, and yeah, I have a s.h.i.tty past of being weak. But don"t you get that since I met you, I"m not that girl anymore? I don"t even think about it, I don"t even crave it, I love my life too much to ever end it, baby."
"But if it gets bad, if you start to hate it-"
"I won"t," I say, my lips curving up. "Not when you"re in it."
He drops his head, shaking it as he sucks in a breath. "I just want to make you happy."
"You do, Jace," I whisper, lifting his head so I can look into his sorrow-filled eyes. "But you gotta let me help. We can do this together. Let me take some of the stress. We can figure it out. Together. No more battles fought alone, only together."
He holds my gaze, his lips trembling, and he slowly nods. "Okay. I"m sorr-"
"Don"t you dare. What are you apologizing for? Loving me? No, don"t you dare."
The side of his mouth quirks up as he cups my face. "I love you, Avery Sinclair."
"I love you too," I whisper as my mouth presses to his. Closing my eyes tightly, I can"t believe this man is my husband. This big, thick-headed, headstrong man is my everything. And while he"s frustrating as h.e.l.l, he has a heart of gold. Parting, I gaze into his eyes and I shrug. "So we wait for something to open up here."
His grin falls as he shrugs. "Coach said you can"t stay over more than twice a week. Someone complained."
My heart sinks. "Then you can stay with me if you have to, but we can sleep apart."
"I don"t want to."
"I don"t either, but I won"t have you looking bad in front of your team or getting in trouble."
He nods. "We"ll figure it out."
"We will. Together."
He sucks in a breath and lets it out. "Together."
Leaning his head to mine, he kisses my nose and my eyes drift shut, so in love with this man. I"m not even worried or scared. Yeah, it will suck to sleep apart, but we will be okay.
When a tap comes to the window, we both look over to see a cop standing next to the door. "What the f.u.c.k?" he asks as he rolls down the window. "Officer?"
"Are you Jace Sinclair?"
My heart jumps into my throat, because I"m sure this cop doesn"t want an autograph from the number one prospected draftee.
"Yes, sir."
"I"m gonna have to ask you and your friend to get out of the car. Clear it out. It"s being repossessed."
Jace"s brows crash together. "Repossessed? My dad got me this car."
The cop nods and shrugs. "I know, son. He"s the one repossessing it."
When Jace looks at me, all I can do is shake my head as I cover my mouth.
That son of a b.i.t.c.h.
"Who the f.u.c.k does that to their kid?" Markus barks as he paces the room. Moving my hand up and down Jace"s back, l close my eyes as I lean against his arm. I am trying to hold back my tears, but it"s so hard. It was just so sad watching him take everything out of his car and hand the keys over, the look of pure defeat in his eyes.
"An a.s.shole," Jace bites out, his body trembling with anger. I"ve never seen him this angry, and I don"t know what to do but hold him. But really, who does this? Yeah, don"t get me wrong, we were rude to him. But you don"t take something from someone that you gave to them. "It"s my fault. I should have had him put it in my name."
He groans, dropping his face into his hands, and my heart aches.
"This is insane, dude. I"m sorry."
Jace shrugs. "What"s done is done."
"If you need my car, you got it."