I don"t hear him. "What?"
He meets my gaze, and his eyes are so tender, so sweet, that again, I can"t breathe. I"m lost. Completely lost, and I"m pretty sure I never want to be found as long as I"m lost in Jace Sinclair"s eyes. "I want to ask you something," he says again, this time louder.
"Yeah?"
He swallows hard, his Adam"s apple moving up and down, but his eyes never leave mine. I can tell he wants to say something, something intense and real, but all he is doing is searching my eyes and I"m confused.
"Jace?"
But he shakes his head before looking away. "Never mind, Markus and Mekena are going on."
As my brows touch, I stare at the side of his face while Markus and Mekena start to sing "FourFiveSeconds" by Kayne, Rihanna, and Paul McCartney. He"s laughing, but I know it doesn"t reach his eyes and I know he wants to say more. Reaching out, I take his jaw in my hand and turn his face. When he looks at me expectantly, I ask, "What were you going to say?"
He shakes his head. "Later."
I glare. "I don"t want to wait."
He grins. "Gonna have to. Can"t do that here."
I eye him skeptically, but then Markus steals my attention when he starts to sing. He"s good, and so is Mekena. They are cute and I"m sure she wanted to sing a love song, but she seems to be having a good time, which is what I wanted. I miss her and our friendship, but I"ve allowed Jace to take over my life. Which is probably bad since I did this before. I blew off all my friends for Caleb, and in the end, I had no one. Who could blame them?
But, that won"t happen with Jace.
I have to stop thinking like that.
Clearing my throat, I watch as Markus and Mekena kill it onstage. When they finish, everyone is clapping and cheering them on, and I grin as Jace takes my hand. As our fingers lace together, Caleb and the past are nowhere to be found and all I see is Jace.
He"s the light.
"Come on, our turn," he says, pulling me out of my chair and toward the stage. "Now remember, you can"t suck."
I laugh because what else can I say to that? He"s insane. When we reach the stage, he picks the song and I"m a little stunned by his choice. I raise an eyebrow and he smiles as he says, "I love that song."
"The Beatles are the best band ever."
"So you know it?"
"Duh."
"Awesome, I listened to them growing up, know every song by heart."
Which is so f.u.c.king hot. A dude who knows the Beatles by heart? Yeah, sign me up. Wait, that means I"m committing, right?
c.r.a.p.
Shaking my head, I say, "Jude and Lucy, named after them, I a.s.sume?"
"Yup, I was supposed to be Rocky after "Rocky Racc.o.o.n," but my dad hated it."
I grin to keep from agreeing with his father and Jace laughs. "Yeah, it"s bad. But still, it would have been cool."
"Yeah, for sure," I say just as the guy gives us the go-ahead. "You ready?"
"Um, duh. But the question is, are you ready?"
Rolling my eyes, I push him and he laughs as he leads me up onstage. The countdown to the Across the Universe version of "Don"t Let Me Down" by the Beatles starts, and I wait until it"s time to start the song, and I begin. I love this song, have listened to it a billion times, and even know how to play it. As I expect, the crowd quiets and then the cheering starts. Jace stands there, a big grin on his face as I sing. But when it"s time for him to go, I watch him pause before he opens his mouth.
And then the most G.o.dawful noise comes out of his mouth.
It"s like nails-on-a-chalkboard bad, and he knows it! He"s grinning so hard, I want to smack him, yet he keeps going. His confidence, the way he struts as he sings, has the crowd going nuts. Even Markus is cheering him on while I stand there dumbstruck. Where is this amazing voice he spoke of, and why am I so attracted to him right now?
When he comes toeto-toe with me, singing his heart out, I can only look at him in complete puzzlement before I start to sing. Our voices blend together, badly, mind you, but he is getting it. Singing with all the gusto of Freddie Mercury. It"s insane! All I can think is, holy c.r.a.p, this is so bad and I should be embarra.s.sed, but I"m not.
I"m blissful.
And he is amazing. Bad singing and all.
As the song ends, I glare at him as he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing me loudly on the lips, which only makes the crowd cheer louder. Shaking my head as we part, I accuse, "I thought you said you were good."
He grins. "I am!"
"Jace!" I say incredulously and he just laughs.
"Don"t try to bring me down. Go, I"m going next."
"Seriously?"
He nods. "Um, yeah, I"m working the crowd. Don"t be jealous they like me more."
Gasping, I break from his arms as he shoots me a wicked grin. "You"re impossible!"
As I walk down the stairs, handing the mic to the guy, Jace"s voice runs down my spine as he whispers into the mic, "Now, for my next song, I want to dedicate this to my Rose. My Avery Rose."
I turn when I reach the table, and his eyes are locked on me as he lets out a long breath, the guitar starting in the background. I know the song. I mean, I"m pretty sure everyone does. But I don"t know why he is dedicating "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" to me. It"s about breaking up, so how is it a love song? I"m completely confused and so is Markus. That is, until Jace sings the chorus.
He"s changing the words from "Every Rose" to "Avery Rose," and I"m mortified as Markus falls off his chair laughing. Even Mekena is dying while I just stand there, so d.a.m.n embarra.s.sed I don"t know what to do.
Until finally, I just laugh.
Soon, I"m laughing so hard I can"t breathe and I"m crying from the hilarity of the situation. He is unreasonable and crazy. I"ve never had someone sing a song to me, or even dedicate one, and I"ve most definitely never had a guy change the lyrics to fit my name. Even if the song is an old rock song about breaking up with some girl.
But it"s for me.
As he sings into the mic like he is Bret Michaels himself, with the bandanna and s.h.i.t-kicking boots, all I can do is shake my head, wiping my tears away.
Man, this guy.
s.h.i.t...
I think he stole my heart.
Or wait, did I give it to him?
Sliding up my body, he trails his lips along my chest as he brings the skirt of my dress up, falling between my legs. I"m lost in his kiss and more than a little drunk. We had a blast, an utter blast of very bad singing from Jace, and lots of drinking. He somehow beat me, but I"m pretty sure it"s because he took his shirt off during his rap song. He really thought he was Eminem up there, and for a second, I almost believed he was. His confidence is something I can"t help but be jealous of. He"s intoxicating.
And mine.
All mine.
Arching into him as he nibbles on my neck, I close my eyes, feeling on top of the world. He does something to me, something so crazy that all I can do is hold on and hope I don"t fall. But I am. I"m falling hard, and no matter how hard I"m sc.r.a.ping the sides, trying to keep myself from doing just that, I can"t hold on. I can"t grasp anything because he makes it too easy. Too perfect.
Hungrily, we kiss, our hands everywhere, and I can"t get enough. When his hands slide up my thigh, taking ahold of my panties and pulling them down, I"m so gone. I"m shaking with want as his fingers enter me, his moans mixing with mine as our lips crash together. f.u.c.king me slowly with his thick, talented fingers, he uses his mouth to torment me just as much as his fingers are. Curving his fingers inside me, he speeds up, taking my breath and bringing me to the edge. Falling over, I cry out against his lips, before his mouth is back on mine, catching my cries of pleasure.
Sucking in a breath as his mouth trails down to my shoulder, I lengthen my neck for him, unable to completely regulate my breathing. h.e.l.l, that was good and he is obviously not done with me yet. Pushing my skirt up around my waist with his hand, he tugs it away as he nibbles on my jaw. "You"re so f.u.c.king beautiful."
Smiling against his lips, I slowly open my eyes, my hands coming up his back, pulling his shirt up and over his head. As my eyes drink in every single detail about his body, like they do every single time we"re like this, I can"t believe how awestruck I am by him. He says I"m beautiful, but really, he is the gorgeous one.
His body is a temple of s.e.x, and I want to fall to my knees in front of it and praise him for the rest of my existence.
But then I realize the lights are on.
s.h.i.t.
"Hey, shut the lights off."
He shakes his head, though, coming back down to me, his mouth on my neck, my collarbone. "No, I want you now," he says, sitting up, and I try to slam my legs together. But he is in the way. Panic settles in my chest as I bring my skirt down, covering my thighs as much as possible.
"No, really, please."
But he is undoing his pants, sheathing himself with the condom he grabbed when we were making our way up to the bunk. Then he is fully sheathed, his c.o.c.k looking ever so delicious, but I can"t get distracted by that. I have to get these lights off, no matter how much I want to just stare at his naked body. Looking down at me, he brings his brows together as our gazes meet. "What? What"s wrong?"
"Nothing. Shut the lights off."
"Why?" he asks, falling between my legs, pushing them back before entering me with one thrust. "I"m already in," he whispers against my jaw. "f.u.c.k, you feel so d.a.m.n good."
But I"m panicking.
I can"t even focus on what he is doing because I"m scared he"ll see. Pushing my legs back farther, he thrusts into me, his breath hot on my face, his fingers digging into my ribs. But all I can do is try not to cry. I know he is going to see. Just stop him, I tell myself, but I can"t. I"m frozen.
But as he moves his cheek along mine, sitting up to look down at me, he stops. "Avery? What"s wrong?"
I only shake my head, though, closing my eyes. He cups my face.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No."
"Then what"s wrong? Do you want me to stop?"
I can"t answer him because, while I do, I don"t. I want to continue. I want to be normal, but I can"t stop thinking about what he could see.
"Answer me," he demands, and I slowly open my eyes, my heart pounding so hard it hurts as he makes our gazes meet. "What the h.e.l.l is wrong?"
"I want the lights off," I whisper and his brows crash together in worry.
"Why, though? I love looking at you," he says roughly, his lips moving against mine. "You"re beautiful, Avery."
And I believe him, but I can"t shake this anxiety that is eating me alive.
"Please."
His eyes search mine for maybe another second, and then he gets up. Quickly, I pull my skirt down as he climbs down the ladder, hits the lights, and then gets back in bed. As he covers my body with his, I wait for him to get back inside me, but he frames my face, running his thumb along my jaw. "I didn"t realize it was such a big deal."
"Yeah, sorry," I say, sucking in a deep breath.
He pauses. "I"m really sorry. I should have listened. I"m a little drunk."
"It"s fine," I say quickly. But it isn"t. My heart is still pounding against my ribs and I feel sweat dripping down my back. I feel like I"m going to puke, and I hate it. I hate how I feel right now.
Continuing to move his thumb along my jaw, he rolls off me and pulls me against him. Confused, I look up at him, the light from the street lamp shining into the room and glowing against his face. "You don"t want to finish?"
He shakes his head. "No, I want to hold you."
"Jace, it"s okay."
"No, it"s not. I don"t know why, and I hate that. But I"m sorry, and I just want to hold you until you feel better."
Closing my eyes, I feel my lip start to wobble as I cuddle into him. "I"m fine."
"Don"t lie to me," he said sternly, his arms swallowing me up.
Relaxing against him, I nod. "I"m sorry."
"Don"t be. Just relax."
"No, really, I"m sorry," I say as my heart continues to pound in my chest. "I"m all kinds of messed up."
He shakes his head, though. "Just be quiet. Calm down, your heart is pounding so hard, it"s hurting my chest."
I press my lips together as a tear rolls down my cheek and off my chin. I feel him tense up, but I can"t stop. And soon the tears are falling in streams down my face, but he just holds me tighter, his lips in my hair. Closing my eyes tightly, I hate that I"ve done this. That I"m weak and pathetic.
"I"m really sorry," he whispers, and it kills me.
"You did nothing wrong."
"I should have listened."
"No, it"s my fault. I have this thing about the lights," I say as I suck in a breath.