"No, at that time there had not been anything to tell," she repeated, gazing at Frau Rupius with a kind of reverence. "Just think--you will probably find it hard to believe what I am going to tell you now, but I should feel a liar if I kept it secret."
"Well?"
Bertha had sat down on a seat beside Frau Rupius, and she spoke in a lower tone, for the vestibule door was standing open.
"I wanted to tell you this, Anna: that I do not in the least feel that I have done anything wicked, not even anything immoral."
"It wouldn"t be a very clever thing, either, if you had."
"Yes, you are quite right.... What I really meant to say was rather that it seems to me as though I had done something quite good, as if I had done something outstanding. Yes, Frau Rupius, the fact of the matter is, I have been proud of myself ever since."
"Well, there is probably no reason for that either," said Frau Rupius, as if lost in thought, stroking Bertha"s hand, which lay upon the table.
"I am aware of that, of course, and yet I am so proud and seem quite different from all the women whom I know. You see if you knew ... if you were acquainted with him--it is such a strange affair! You mustn"t think, let me tell you, that it is an acquaintanceship which I have made recently--quite the contrary; I have been in love with him, you must know, ever since I was quite a young girl, no less than twelve years ago.
For a long time we had completely lost sight of one another, and now--isn"t it wonderful?--now he is my ... my ... my ... lover!"
She had said it at last. Her whole face was radiant.
Frau Rupius threw her a glance in which could be detected a little scorn and a great deal of kindliness.
"I am glad that you are happy," she said.
"How very kind you are indeed! But then, you see, on the other hand again, it is a dreadful thing that we are so far apart from one another; he, in Vienna; I, here--I don"t think I shall ever be able to endure that. Moreover, I have ceased to feel that I belong to this place, least of all to my relations. If they knew ... no, if they knew! However, they would never be able to bring themselves to believe it. A woman like my sister-in-law, for instance--well, I am perfectly certain that she could never imagine such a thing to be in any way possible."
"But you are really very ingenuous!" said Frau Rupius suddenly, almost with exasperation. Then she listened for a moment. "I thought I could hear the train whistling already."
She rose to her feet, walked over to the large gla.s.s door leading on to the platform, and looked out. A porter came and asked for the tickets in order to punch them.
"The train for Vienna is twenty minutes late," he remarked, at the same time.
Bertha had stood up and gone over to Frau Rupius.
"Why do you consider that I am ingenuous?" she asked shyly.
"But, indeed, you know absolutely nothing about men," replied Frau Rupius, as if she were annoyed. "You haven"t, you know, the slightest idea among what kind of people you are living. I can a.s.sure you, you have no reason at all to be proud."
"I know, of course, that it is very stupid of me."
"Your sister-in-law--that is delightful!--your sister-in-law!"
"What do you mean, then?"
"I mean that she has had a lover too!"
"Whatever put such an idea as that into your head!"
"Well, she is not the only woman in this town."
"Yes, there are certainly women who ... but, Albertine--"
"And do you know who it was? That is very amusing! It was Herr Klingemann!"
"No, that is impossible!"
"Of course, it is now a long time ago, about ten or eleven years."
"But at that time, by the way, you yourself had not come to live here, Frau Rupius!"
"Oh, I have heard it from the best source. It was Herr Klingemann himself who told me about it."
"Herr Klingemann himself! But is it possible for a man to be so base as all that!"
"I don"t think there"s the least doubt about that," answered Frau Rupius, sitting down on a seat near the door, whilst Bertha remained standing beside her, listening in amazement to her friend"s words. "Yes, Herr Klingemann himself.... As soon as I came to the town, you must know, he did me the honour of making violent love to me, neck or nothing, so to speak. You know yourself, of course, what a loathsome wretch he is. I laughed him to scorn, which probably exasperated him a great deal, and evidently he thought that he would be able conclusively to prove to me how irresistible he was by recounting all his conquests."
"But perhaps he told you some things which were not true."
"A great deal, probably; but this story, as it happens, is true.... Ah, what a rabble these men are!"
There was a note of the deepest hatred in Frau Rupius" voice. Bertha was quite frightened. She had never thought it possible that Frau Rupius could have said such things.
"Yes, why shouldn"t you know what kind of men they are amongst whom you are living?" continued Frau Rupius.
"No, I would never have thought it possible! If my brother-in-law knew about it!--"
"If he knew about it? He knows about it as well as you or I do!"
"What do you say! No, no!"
"Indeed, he caught them together--you understand me! Herr Klingemann and Albertine! So that, however much inclined he might have been to make the best of things, there was no doubt possible!"
"But, for Heaven"s sake--what did he do, then?"
"Well, as you can see for yourself, he has not turned her out!"
"Well, yes, the children ... of course!"
"The children--pooh-pooh! He forgave her for the sake of convenience--and chiefly because he could do as he liked after that. You can see for yourself how he treats her. When all is said and done, she is but little better than his servant; you know as well as I do in what a miserable, brow-beaten way she slinks about. He has brought it to this, that, ever since that moment, she has always had to look upon herself as a woman who has been treated with mercy. And I believe she has even a perpetual fear that he is reserving the punishment for some future day. But it is stupid of her to be afraid of that, for he wouldn"t look out for another housekeeper for anything.... Ah, my dear Frau Bertha, we are not by any means angels, as you know now from your own experiences, but men are infamous so long"--she seemed to hesitate to complete the phrase--"so long as they are men."
Bertha was as though crushed; not so much on account of the things which Frau Rupius had told her as on account of the manner in which she had done so. She seemed to have become a quite different woman, and Bertha was pained at heart.
The door leading to the platform was opened and the low, incessant tinkling of the telegraph was heard. Frau Rupius stood up slowly, her features a.s.sumed a mild expression, and, stretching out her hand to Bertha, she said:
"Forgive me, I was only a little bit vexed. Things can be also very nice; of course, there are certainly decent men in the world as well as others.
Oh, yes, things can be very nice, no doubt."
She looked out on to the railway lines and seemed to be following the iron track into the distance. Then she went on to say with that same soft, harmonious voice which appealed so strongly to Bertha:
"I shalt be home again to-morrow evening.... Oh, yes, of course, my travelling case!"