"I don"t want to go out there."
"May I, Annie? May I, please?"
She sighed. "What?"
Akira reached for her hand, cradling it in his own. "The dolphins are having fun, yes?"
"It looks that way."
"Do you think they would be having such fun if sharks were nearby?"
"I"m not an expert on dolphins, Akira. I have no idea."
He paused, as if not expecting such a response. After a dolphin leapt, he said, "I know that bad things have happened to you. Terrible things. But I think now . . . I think that right now you are like a caged bird. And even when the door to your cage is opened, you do not fly free. You are drawn to the dolphins yet you do not fly free."
Annie"s face tightened. "You"re judging me."
"So sorry, but no, I am not. I only see something beautiful that I want to watch set free. If my words are not right, then please accept my apology. I will not repeat them."
She started to speak but stopped, seeing that he had lowered his head as if suddenly ashamed of advising her, of causing her pain. "I"m not angry at you, Akira," she said, wondering if he was right, if she really was like a caged bird. "It"s just that I"m afraid of that water."
"Then please do not swim. We will sit here and observe."
Annie nodded, noticing in her peripheral vision that Jake and Ratu were also standing on the sh.o.r.e, presumably watching the dolphins. Earlier in the day, when Jake had been talking at length with Joshua, Annie had seen Ratu crying by the sea. She"d started to walk over to him, but upon seeing her advance, he"d stood up and run down the beach. Annie could only guess at the source of his pain, and for much of the morning had wondered how she could bring a smile to his face. She"d longed to do just that-to make him laugh and forget about whatever ailed him.
An idea dawning within her, Annie turned to Akira. "Thank you," she said simply. She then started walking toward Ratu. Walking quickly. Soon she was running. She hurried with a sudden desperation, a desperation born of fear that the dolphins would leave, or worse, that her anxiety would again overcome her and she"d change her mind. When she finally reached Ratu, she took his hand. "Will . . . will you . . . will you please swim with me?" she asked, winded.
"With the dolphins, Miss Annie?"
"With the dolphins. With me."
"Brilliant," he said, removing his shirt with a sudden exuberance.
Annie turned to Jake. "Would you mind, Jake, closing your eyes for a moment?"
Jake withdrew a blade of gra.s.s from his mouth. "Happily done, miss," he replied, turning toward the jungle, pleased that she was taking Ratu for such a swim.
Annie stripped to her undergarments. She took Ratu"s hand. "Will you lead me?"
"I"ll b.l.o.o.d.y well try," he said excitedly, pulling her into the harbor.
The water was warm against her calves, her thighs, her belly. Soon she was swimming. At first she put her head above the water and tried to see the bottom. At first she felt a fear of the unknown. But then, something somehow changed. Her arms and legs seemed surprisingly strong. Her ears filled with Ratu"s laughter. And the sea didn"t seem to pull her under, but to caress and carry her.
"They aren"t leaving!" Ratu shouted. "I tell you, Miss Annie, they aren"t b.l.o.o.d.y leaving!"
Annie glanced toward the deeper water and saw that the dolphins didn"t seem concerned by the approaching swimmers. The creatures continued their playful antics-circling one another and leaping above the turquoise water. Annie was now close enough to realize that several of the dolphins were much larger than their companions.
When Annie and Ratu were about thirty feet from the dolphins, the creatures stopped leaping from the sea and started to slowly circle their visitors. The dolphins stayed close together, the pod they formed reminding Annie of the military convoys she"d seen from the deck of Benevolence Benevolence. However, within no more than a minute, the pod loosened. The dolphins circled closer. Soon Annie and Ratu could see bright eyes and old scars. Soon they could hear the creatures calling to each other through a chaotic mixture of whistles, clicks, and chirps. Annie thought that the whistles sounded similar to what she often heard in the jungle as birds screeched at each other.
The dolphins swam at the surface or near it. One of the larger creatures dove almost directly beneath the humans. Bubbles from its blowhole drifted into them, and the sensation of the bubbles b.u.mping along his leg caused Ratu to laugh.
To Annie"s surprise and delight, the dolphins continued to draw closer. Two of them were much smaller, and she wondered how old the babies were. The biggest dolphins seemed to be the most inquisitive and vocal. These animals, with their gray backs and white bellies, swam an arm"s length away from Annie and Ratu.
"Let"s look at them underwater!" Ratu suddenly said.
"Won"t the salt sting our eyes?"
"So? A little stinging salt won"t hurt you. Not a b.l.o.o.d.y bit, Miss Annie."
Annie laughed, took a deep breath, and dropped underwater. She opened her eyes. They immediately hurt, but she resisted the urge to close them. A dolphin was quite close to her, and she watched in wonder as it swam directly toward her. She reached out slowly, and though it didn"t touch her, it swam beside her. Annie marveled at the beauty of the creature, as well as its grace and permanent smile. She"d listened to dying soldiers speak of angels, and of how such apparitions moved upon the air. To her, the dolphins were angels of sorts, for their grace was something that she"d never before beheld. The dolphins moved with an almost divine loveliness, floating through the water as if each had been doing so for thousands of years.
Annie surfaced, rubbed her aching eyes, and returned to the world below. The dolphins were very close now, circling Annie and Ratu in a manner suggesting that the animals were highly interested in their visitors. Annie was surprised to see Ratu dive deep and pretend to be a dolphin, arching his back and gliding through the water. A dolphin darted toward him, then stopped to float upward as he did. Annie instinctively clapped. Repeating Ratu"s idea, she mimicked the movements of the sleek creatures, kicking downward with her legs together and her arms at her side. Two dolphins swam toward her, and she smiled as they b.u.mped into each other, almost as if competing for her attention.
For the next few minutes, Annie was in awe of the scene before her. A marvelous intimacy seemed to exist between her and the dolphins. She felt as though they were honoring her, letting her into their world and asking for nothing in return. Watching the dolphins so unabashedly play, she resolved to not worry as much about the future. Akira was right. She"d been caged for far too long. Despite trying to step from her cage by volunteering for the war effort, she hadn"t stepped far enough. And though she was still bound by her darkest fears and these binds were almost impossible to sever, she was going to try to break free.
At that moment, with the dolphins gliding about her, Annie realized that the sea could be dark and cold and unforgiving but could also be full of light and warmth and hope. And was life any different? Yes, she had almost died three times-once as a girl and twice as a woman. And those scars would never truly leave her. But a scar shows that a wound has mostly healed, and if something has mostly healed, why did she need to live in fear of it? Why shouldn"t she venture into the jungle near camp, the water of the harbor, or her true feelings for Akira?
When the dolphins finally headed toward much deeper water, Annie and Ratu surfaced. Rubbing their bloodshot eyes, they laughed and spoke excitedly about what they"d seen. Ratu was convinced that he"d made friends with the largest one. "I tell you, Miss Annie," he said, "that big boy smiled at me many times. He opened his mouth and smiled at me."
"How do you know it was a he?"
"Because the other dolphins were all younger girls. Trust me, Miss Annie. I have five little sisters and I know how sisters can drive a brother crazy. My mate, Ratu Junior, was just trying to escape his sisters. That"s why he fancied swimming with me."
Laughing, Annie splashed water into Ratu"s face. "Did you ever think that Ratu Junior could have been a big sister with a lot of little brothers? Maybe she was trying to escape them!"
"You didn"t see Ratu Junior, Miss Annie. You were too busy swimming with Spotted Sally."
"Spotted Sally? Did you name them all?"
"Of course. How can someone be your mate if you don"t know his name? There was Ratu Junior; Spotted Sally; Blue-nose Beauty; Smiley; and the twins, Teeny and Tiny."
"Did you tell them your name?"
"Don"t be silly, Miss Annie. I can"t b.l.o.o.d.y well talk underwater. And I can"t talk to dolphins. But I"m sure they came up with their own name for me."
Annie splashed him again and he laughed. He sprayed water her way, and before she knew it, he swam to her, pushed on her shoulders with his outstretched arms, and sent her underwater.
After Annie surfaced and had her revenge, she turned toward the sh.o.r.e, noticed the distant figure of Akira, and waved happily to him. He waved back, and feeling warm and invigorated, she asked Ratu if he"d like to swim deeper into the water and try to rediscover his newfound friends.
NEARLY ATOP A BANYAN tree on the far side of the beach, Roger peered through the airman"s binoculars. When he saw Annie wave at Akira, he cursed and then spat in disgust. "That little b.i.t.c.h," he whispered, shaking his aching head in bewilderment. "She likes the G.o.dd.a.m.n Nip."
Though Roger was an agent of the j.a.panese, he despised them as much as he did everyone else. They simply paid him enough that he was able to set his hate aside and deal with the task at hand. If the Americans were as generous, he"d gladly kill j.a.panese.
The image of Annie waving to Akira reminded Roger of his elementary school days in Tokyo. He"d been allowed to attend a private school on the condition that he spend an hour each day speaking English with some of the teachers. At first, the new school had been fascinating. Like everyone else, he wore a uniform, so none of his cla.s.smates ever saw his worn and patched clothes. However, he"d been much taller than everyone else, had an early onset case of acne, and could barely understand j.a.panese. Consequently, the uniform hadn"t mattered as much as he"d hoped. Under the navy blue fabric he"d still been a gaijin-a foreigner. And his odd ways and insecure manner had made him easy to ridicule.
Once, when Roger wasn"t aware that he was being spied on by other boys, he"d waved to a girl he thought was curious about him. Instead of waving back, the girl had put her head down and run until she disappeared. The boys who"d been watching burst from their hiding place and laughed until Roger was forced to rush off as well. In the following days, the story of his wave permeated the school. The girl was so embarra.s.sed that she never spoke to him again. The episode had increased Roger"s anxiety, worsening his case of acne. Soon many of his cla.s.smates began to call him Mount Fuji because of the large pimples that dominated his forehead and chin.
Roger had lived with such taunts and smirks until he"d bested the boy in the kendo match. After that match, after realizing that through his strength he"d find salvation, Roger began to stalk and a.s.sault his tormentors. He"d faced them when they were alone, when his greater size and determination allowed him to overwhelm them. Knowing their shame would be so great that they"d never reveal him, he hurt them badly, b.l.o.o.d.ying them until they begged him to stop, until they happily handed him the coins in their pockets. After anyone who taunted him turned up at school with a black eye or a swollen lip, Roger was rarely ridiculed.
Once four boys had banded together to attack Roger and had managed to knock him unconscious with their kendo swords. Roger told no one about his attackers, but as soon as his strength returned, he hunted them down individually. After beating them into submission, he"d taken off their sandals and broken each of their big toes. The boys limped for the rest of the year and no one bothered him again.
Now, as Annie waded through the water, Roger focused his binoculars on her small figure. A rust-colored ant bit his knuckle, and cursing the island"s insects, he smashed the ant against a branch. He put the binoculars again to his eyes and saw that Annie was only wearing undergarments. Quickly he became aroused. He clenched the binoculars hard, refocusing them constantly in order to maintain the best possible view of her. He swore silently as he remembered how she"d slapped him. The memory invaded him like an illness. No woman had ever slapped him, and no attack had ever felt so personal. She"d a.s.saulted and humiliated him, and he"d do the same and much more to her.
Roger watched her put on her shirt and shorts. She hugged Ratu and then moved toward Akira, who walked in her direction, his limp barely noticeable. When they finally met she embraced him briefly. Roger wondered if the j.a.p was aware of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against him. They were small b.r.e.a.s.t.s, Roger reflected, but still he must sense them. Did the monkey want to rip off her shirt and squeeze them tight?
Hating the two of them, Roger counted the days until he could feel her. Once the j.a.ps landed, he"d lead them to the cave and then have his fill of her. He imagined breaking her toes, as he"d done to those boys so long ago. That way, she"d be unable to run from him. Or he could slap her repeatedly until she begged him to forgive her. Or he could do both.
Roger shifted his thoughts to Akira. He swore to himself that the Nip would suffer and that he"d see Annie suffer. How best to do that? he wondered. How can I ensure that he and his b.i.t.c.h share their misery?
As Roger descended the banyan tree, he debated such questions, ultimately not deciding upon anything until long after dusk had fallen. At that point, though he craved a cigarette and his head felt as if someone had driven a railroad spike into it, he clucked his tongue excitedly and went to sleep.
DAY NINE.
The past comes to me Like a shadow to its source.
Where is the monsoon?
Longing for Dreams
The tide was rising. Jake had noticed how the harbor swelled and the beach shrank each morning. To him, it seemed that the two ent.i.ties were in a never-ending war over territory. The sea and beach fought the same way that night and day fought-a patient, hopeless struggle for domination of s.p.a.ce.
Following Ratu into deeper water, Jake held his spear aloft. Despite their prowess as hunters, the two friends hadn"t been able to spear many fish the previous day. The drying rack they"d built wasn"t even halfway full. Knowing that Joshua depended on him, and that he was failing his commanding officer, Jake had asked Ratu if they could fish in deeper water, where bigger fish might linger.
"I tell you, Big Jake, it"s much b.l.o.o.d.y harder to throw a spear into deep water," Ratu said. "Aim lower than you think you need to because water will lift the spear up."
"Ouch," Jake muttered, as his toe stubbed against something hard and sharp.
"What did you say?"
"Oh, ain"t nothing worth repeating."
"If I"m going to tell you things, mate, you need to listen. I do think I"m interesting, but I don"t just want to talk for myself. If I"m going to do that, I"ll talk about sports. Maybe about the greatest cricket players or something like that."
"Don"t you worry none. I"ll aim lower. Or was it higher?"
"b.u.g.g.e.r off, Big Jake. I don"t know what to do with you. I really don"t. Throw lower. Much lower."
The water was up to Ratu"s belly and Jake"s thighs. To their right, birds circled over a series of ripples. Believing that large fish were feasting upon something near the surface, Ratu and Jake waded toward the ripples. Sure enough, a school of thousands of inch-long fish was being chased by a handful of much larger predators.
"Barracuda!" Ratu exclaimed, pointing at the long and narrow fish. "Their mouths are full of teeth, Big Jake. Be careful when you spear them or you"ll have an angry barracuda hanging from your leg. And the blood will bring his friends, and suddenly you"ll be little more than barracuda dinner. Once I saw-"
Eyeing a large barracuda that rose to the surface, Jake threw his spear quickly and with great force. The spear struck the fish right behind the head and skewered it completely, pinning it to the sand.
"Brilliant!" Ratu shouted. "What a cracking good shot! Your teacher must have been fantastic!"
"My teacher fancies his voice a heap more than his spear. I ain"t seen him hit a darn thing in two days."
"Teachers can"t always do everything. And who"d do all the talking if I didn"t? This island, I tell you, would be a dull place if I left all the talking up to you."
Jake chuckled, watching the b.l.o.o.d.y water for other barracuda. "Ever since those dolphins, you"ve been happier than a pigeon in a puddle."
"You should have come with us, Big Jake. You definitely need to next time. What b.l.o.o.d.y marvelous fun it was. And I want to introduce you to Ratu Junior."
"Does he prattle on as much as you?"
"Probably more."
"Then I"ll pa.s.s, thank you kindly."
"Oh, put a sock in it, Big Jake. You"d bore him anyway."
"I reckon he"d-" Jake stopped, his words dying as a large shark swept into view, heading straight for the twitching barracuda. "Behind you!"
Ratu spun in the water, leaping out of the way of the shark, which tore into the fish. The water immediately turned a deeper shade of crimson. The shark"s top fin and tail emerged from the sea as it consumed the barracuda. Ratu started to flee for the beach, but seeing that the shark was occupied with its meal, he stepped forward, raising his spear.
"No!" Jake shouted. "Head straight ash.o.r.e. Now!"
Wishing that his father could see him, Ratu edged closer to the b.l.o.o.d.y water. The shark, which was about six feet long, was having a hard time consuming the part of the barracuda that was pinned to the seafloor.
"Leave him be!" Jake shouted.
Ratu didn"t hear his friend. He wanted a tooth from the shark so much that his senses were entirely focused on the churning water. He saw the broad back of the shark"s head emerge from the sea, and remembered where his father had told him to strike. The shark thrashed, banging the spear that held the barracuda in place. The spear started to fall. The shark turned in Ratu"s direction. It came at him.
Ratu raised his arm back as far as possible and then stepped forward with his left foot, twisting his body to the left, heaving the spear with all his might. The spear struck the shark just behind its gills, driving deep into the creature. But the shark didn"t die and swam madly in a circle, like a kitten chasing its own tail. Ratu stepped away from the predator, his heel striking a ma.s.s of coral, which sent him tumbling backward. The shark b.u.mped into his legs, its rough skin scratching him. Ratu tried to crawl away but the red water seemed to boil over him. Then he saw Jake wrench his spear from the barracuda and drive it into the shark"s head, drive it so hard and deep that the shark was suddenly pinned to the seafloor.
Jake grabbed Ratu"s hand and pulled him toward the beach. About to shout at Ratu for being so rash, he had to stop himself when Ratu wrapped his arms around him. Jake carried him to the sand, where they sat and watched the shark slowly die. Though Ratu trembled, he didn"t seem overwhelmed with terror, which surprised Jake.
"A coconut for them thoughts?" Jake finally asked, ma.s.saging an ache in his right shoulder.
Ratu slowly looked up from the water. "The shark. It didn"t . . . it didn"t want to die."
"No, I expect it didn"t."
Ratu nodded absently. After a few dozen heartbeats of silence, he turned to Jake. "Have you ever killed a man?"
"No."
"Is it like that, you think?"