*Hey," I said, *that"s not a bad idea."
Rule #7.
If Someone Is Having a Party and Doesn"t Invite You, Just Have Your Own Party and Don"t Invite Them (and Make Your Party Better).
The Kissing Game didn"t actually end up lasting all that long a" just a day before Cheyenne"s slumber party, Mrs Hunter and some other teachers realized what was happening, and put a stop to it.
Or maybe someone"s mother called in and complained or something. I don"t know.
All I know is, on Friday before morning recess Mrs Hunter slipped on to her stool where she normally reads to us (we were doing A Swiftly Tilting Planet, which sequels to A Wrinkle in Time and one of my favourites, besides the Boxcar Children, of course, although it"s actually a completely different kind of story), and said, *Cla.s.s, I"ve been hearing that there"s a new game some of you have been playing at recess a" a kind of kissing game, where girls chase boys or boys chase girls until they catch and kiss them . . . I don"t know the details, and frankly I don"t want to know. What I do know is, it"s going to stop now. I"m not going to say anything more about it. Except that if I see anyone playing it again, everyone involved is going to get their recess taken away for the rest of the week. Is that understood?"
Everyone in cla.s.s got very quiet. Except for me and Rosemary. We both scooted out our chairs and leaned back so we could look past Stuart Maxwell at each other. Then we gave each other great big smiles.
To the vast majority of girls in Room 209, what Mrs Hunter had just said was very bad news. From where I sat, I could see that Marianne in particular looked as if she was about to cry with disappointment.
But to Rosemary, whose kickball games were always getting interrupted by hordes of screaming girls chasing down their prey, this was really, really good news.
And to me, who was always having to listen to Joey Fields go on about how come no girls would ever chase him, it was even better.
*High-five," Rosemary whispered to me, holding up her hand behind Stuart Maxwell"s back.
I high-fived her. I had to admit, I was feeling pretty good. If I"d known whose mom had maybe called in, I"d have given that kid a great big hug. Even if it had been Patrick Day"s mom. Heck, even it had been Joey Fields"s.
Joey looked like he could have used a hug too. He looked so upset, he was practically crying.
*I d-don"t understand," he whispered. *Does this mean you guys aren"t going to play that game any more?"
*We never played it," I whispered back, pointing to me and Rosemary. *Those guys did." I pointed to Cheyenne, who had a pretty crabby look on her face. You could tell she was mad about Mrs Hunter making her stop playing her favourite recess game. What was she going to play now?
Oh, I forgot. Nothing. Cheyenne doesn"t play at recess. She"s too mature.
*But." Joey seriously looked upset. He"d combed his hair that day and everything. *n.o.body"s going to chase me now?"
I couldn"t help rolling my eyes. Boys. Seriously.
*No, Joey," I said. *n.o.body"s going to chase you."
*I"ll chase you, Joey," Rosemary volunteered helpfully. *I"ll chase you and knock you down and even rub some snow in your face, if you want."
Joey blinked a few times. *No," he said. *That"s OK. Thanks."
At recess, Cheyenne and all the other fourth-grade girls who"d been forbidden from partic.i.p.ating in their favourite school activity gathered in a tight cl.u.s.ter by the swings. We couldn"t tell what they were doing, but we guessed they were probably talking about what they were going to start doing at recess now that Cheyenne couldn"t spread her disgusting germs everywhere.
Since it seemed obvious they might come up with an even worse activity, I suggested we send a spy over to listen in. The spy I recommended was Sophie, because she was the prettiest and also the best at acting like she fitted in.
*Aw," Sophie said, fluttering her eyelashes, a skill she"d learned from Jill in The Silver Chair of The Chronicles of Narnia, *thanks."
*No spying," Caroline said firmly. *If we send a spy over, they"ll figure out what we"re doing, and then they"ll think we care what they think, which we don"t."
*I care what they think," Erica volunteered.
*Well, I don"t," Rosemary said. *I"m going to go play kickball. Goodbye." And she left to do just that.
*They probably think we"re the ones who told on them," I said, looking over at the group of girls by the swings. *The reason I can tell is, they keep looking over here."
One way you can tell that people are talking about you is if they look over at you a lot while they are talking to other people. This is a rule.
*Just ignore them," Caroline said. *Come on, let"s go to our secret place."
*It"s not really a secret any more," Sophie pointed out as we crossed the playground, resolutely not looking in the direction of Cheyenne and her friends, *if everybody else knows about it."
*You guys," Erica said as we were walking.
*That"s OK," Caroline said. *How are the organizational plans going for the slumber party tomorrow night, Allie?"
*Excellent," I said. We had decided that the slumber party would be at my place, because I was the one who had gotten Dance Party America for Christmas. It was going to be a Dance Party America marathon slumber party. We were going to play it until our feet fell off. The reason we were going to get to do this was because my mom and dad were going to a faculty party at the university and were going to be out until after midnight, so Uncle Jay was going to be babysitting. And Uncle Jay was the best babysitter in the whole world!
*You guys," Erica said again. *Don"t look now, but I think we"re being followed."
We all turned to look behind us. Erica was right. Cheyenne, leading a pack of girls that included Marianne, Dominique, Shamira, Rosie and even shy Elizabeth and some girls from Room 208, was tromping in the dirty snow right behind us.
None of them seemed too happy either.
*I said not to look," Erica whispered.
We"d just been starting up the little slope that led to the bushes that hid the entrance to our secret hideout too. We couldn"t exactly duck into it. Not with all those girls watching. They"d know exactly where it was.
*Hey," Cheyenne said in a very mean voice, staring right at us. So it was very clear she meant us.
Still, Caroline looked all around and then pointed at herself and went, *Who? Us?"
Caroline was stalling for time. I knew she was hoping if she kept on doing so, with luck the bell would ring soon. Caroline is very clever in this way.
*Yeah, you," Cheyenne said. Today she was dressed, as usual, in the height of Canadian chic (which is a French word for stylish) in her knee-high zip-up boots, brown striped tights, a corduroy miniskirt, a puffy sky-blue parka and rabbit-fur earm.u.f.fs.
I wondered if she knew a rabbit had died to make those earm.u.f.fs. It is one thing to wear leather, which comes from cows, which we also eat.
But I don"t know anyone who eats rabbits. Except French people, according to Erica"s brother, John.
But John is a known liar.
*Which one of you told on us about the Kissing Game?" Cheyenne wanted to know. *We know it was one of you. So you might as well just tell us."
*Yeah," Dominique and Marianne and some of the other girls yelled, *just tell us!"
Erica and Caroline and Sophie and I just looked at each other. Because obviously none of us had told.
*Um," Caroline said, looking down from the slope at Cheyenne and the other girls, *we don"t know what you"re talking about. We actually have better things to do than concern ourselves with you and your stupid recess activities."
*Yeah," Sophie said. And so I said, *Yeah," too, to back her up. Erica just looked scared.
*Don"t lie," Cheyenne said in a mean-sounding voice. *None of us told. And you don"t think any of the boys told, do you? They like it. So it had to be one of you."
*Actually," I said, *the boys don"t like it, Cheyenne. Why do you think they run from you?"
*Yeah," Sophie said. *Duh."
*Don"t be such a baby," Cheyenne shot back. *They run because it"s part of the game. I"m kissing them. Of course they like it. They"re boys, aren"t they? All boys want girls to kiss them."
*No they don"t," I said. *They think it"s gross. Especially your cranberry lipgloss. They think it stinks."
Dominique, standing behind Cheyenne, started laughing when she heard this. Cheyenne turned around and stared at Dominique. So Dominique quit laughing. Then Cheyenne turned around and stared at me.
*Who told you that? About my lipgloss?" Cheyenne asked me.
*Stuart Maxwell told me," I said.
*You"re a liar," Cheyenne said.
*No I"m not," I said. *Why would I lie about that? Stuart told me himself. I sit right next to him. Remember? If anybody told on you about your stupid game, it was probably Stuart"s mom. Bet he told her what he told me, and she called Mrs Hunter."
*Yeah," Caroline said, narrowing her eyes at them. Sophie joined her by saying Yeah too, and Erica added her own, Uh-huh!
*Whatever," Cheyenne said, waving her hand like our words were flies that were annoying her. *I don"t have time for big babies like you. That"s why you"re not invited to my slumber party. Because you"re too immature."
I put my mittened hands on my hips and yelled (even though Cheyenne had turned away and so had the other girls), *Oh yeah? Well, you"re not invited to my slumber party, either! And we"re doing totally cool stuff, not boring stuff like you"re doing at your slumber party, like getting our toenails painted!"
*Oh yeah?" Cheyenne looked over her shoulder at us, but not like she was actually interested in what I was saying. More like she was bored and getting ready to yawn. *Like what?"
*Like playing Dance Party America," I yelled at her. *Until our feet fall off! That"s what!"
*That silly game?" Cheyenne laughed. Her laugh was as bright and tinkly as the icicles hanging off the side of the school that Mr Elkhart, the custodial arts manager, had had to go up and try to break off with a broom handle so they wouldn"t fall during recess and pierce some kid"s skull and enter his brain and kill him instantly. *We stopped playing that back in Canada years ago. Everyone knows the only cool game now is Captain Air Guitar. Do you even have Captain Air Guitar?"
I didn"t know what she was talking about. I just stared at her blankly. I had never even heard of Captain Air Guitar. Well, maybe I had. But I"d forgotten to ask Grandma for it.
*I didn"t think so," Cheyenne said with another tinkly laugh. All the other girls laughed their tinkly laughs too. Then they walked away. Still laughing.
*Allie Finkle"s slumber party is going to be the worst slumber party," I heard Cheyenne saying, *ever!"
*Don"t worry, Allie," Erica hurried over to say to me, laying a comforting hand on my shoulder. *Your slumber party isn"t going to be the worst ever. I bet it"s going to be great."
*Yeah," Sophie said, sounding mad. *She doesn"t know what she"s talking about. Whoever heard of Captain Air Guitar. That sounds like a stupid game! It must be from Canada."
*Well, I"ve heard of it," Erica admitted. *My brother plays it over at his friend"s house. But my mom says over her dead body will anyone ever bring it into our house. She says we have enough racket with John"s new drum set."
I knew what Erica meant. I could hear John practising his drums in my house, even though he kept his drums in their bas.e.m.e.nt and his dad had put soundproofing on the walls. It was still loud.
*Who cares?" Caroline said, sounding mad. *I"m not interested in what the cool game in Canada is. I want to play the game you like, Allie. I want to play Dance Party America. I"m really looking forward to it."
*Me too," Sophie said. *Except that Captain Air Guitar sounds like it might hurt my toe less." When she saw the warning look Caroline gave her, she said, *I mean, I can"t wait for Allie"s slumber party. It"s going to be way better than Cheyenne"s! You know what my mom told me? You can get infections from those manicure/pedicure places in the mall, because they don"t always properly sterilize their tools, and if you have an ingrown nail or something and the germs get in there, you can develop a flesh-eating virus and if the antibiotics don"t work your whole arm or leg might have to be amputated. I hope that happens to Cheyenne."
*You guys," I said sadly, realizing what they were trying to do. *It"s OK. You don"t have to try to cheer me up. I know my slumber party isn"t going to be as good as Cheyenne"s."
*No, it is," Caroline, Erica and Sophie hastened to a.s.sure me.
But I knew the truth. Even though Mrs Hunter had put a stop to the Kissing Game, Cheyenne had won. Her slumber party was going to be cooler than mine and there was nothing I could do about it.
I felt depressed about it the whole rest of the day. When I got home from the school, I even joined Uncle Jay on the couch where he"d been lying pretty much non-stop all week, except when he got up to go to his cla.s.ses, the bathroom and Wong Lee"s Noodle Emporium, and of course Pizza Express to get a slice.
*Hey, chum," Uncle Jay said, turning down the volume of the Top Twenty Video Countdown, which Mom had asked him especially not to watch when us kids were around. But Mom was still at work. *Why so glum?"
*This girl at school said her slumber party was going to be better than my slumber party," I said, heaving this big sigh. *She thinks she"s more mature than me just because she wears high-heeled zip-up boots and she likes to kiss boys at recess."
*The slumber party you"re having tomorrow night?" Uncle Jay asked. *The slumber party I"m going to be in charge of because your mom and dad aren"t going to be home?"
*Yeah," I said.
*Do you really think I"m going to let you and your friends have a bad time?" Uncle Jay wanted to know. *Me? Uncle Jay? Have I ever let you down before?"
I just looked at him. Uncle Jay"s goatee was now a full-on beard. There were crumbs in it.
*Um," I said. The thing was, you can break up with boyfriends before they let you down. But you can"t break up with people in your family. You can stop talking to them, I guess, like Mom was pretty much doing to Uncle Jay, and to Dad too, for letting Uncle Jay sleep on our couch (and in the guest room at night, even though he had a perfectly good apartment on campus).
But they"ll still always be your family.
*I guess not," I said to Uncle Jay in response to his question about whether or not he"d ever let me down before.
*Darn right," he said, and held out his hand for me to slap. *You"re gonna have the best slumber party in the whole world."
*OK," I said. And slapped his hand with mine.
I didn"t really believe him. But It"s impolite not to high-five someone back when they are high-fiving you.
That"s a rule.
Rule #8.
The Worst Thing That Can Happen Is for Your Secret Crush to Know Your Secret, and for It Not to Be a Secret Any More.