I sensed I was losing him, and I"d been so close to getting him to spill his guts. I rushed to save the moment. "Sure, why not? I"d like everyone to get along. You know, fae and humans."
He stepped closer to me, excited about my explanation. "I have the exact same hopes for our people and the humans," he said, smiling. "That"s all I"ve ever wanted."
"Cool," I said, feeling warm inside. I could work with this. Maybe he wasn"t such a bad buy after all. Maybe he really did just want all of us to be friends or at least, live in harmony together. "So we"re a team, then?"
"Yes. We"re a team."
"So what"s the plan, Captain?"
He raised an eyebrow at me. "So, I"m the team captain?"
"Sure. You"re the one with more experience. You"re older. You"ve been around the fae and humans a lot longer than I have. I trust your judgment." I wasn"t sure that was entirely true, but it sounded good, and the expression on Ben"s face told me I"d struck gold. His ego was going to be his downfall someday, I was sure of it. It was just too easy to manipulate.
"I do have a plan, actually." He seemed hesitant, as if he didn"t really want to tell me about it, which if course got me wanting to know what it was more than anything in the entire world.
"Oh, goody. Tell me. I"m anxious to be doing something productive instead of waiting around for the council to tell us what to do." I brought the council into the picture because I knew how much he hated them bossing him around all the time. I refused to feel guilty over doing it either. I needed to know what he was thinking in that devious head of his, and being sneaky was the only way. I was going to follow the advice my father had given me many years ago: Trust but verify.
Beau remained quietly in the background, watching both of us intently. He"d moved slowly to stand beside Ben and me, so he could see our faces.
"I"m frustrated too with their machinations and interference in my work."
"Your work? What work?" It seemed a strange way to phrase what we did around here.
"My work, my life purpose, the things I"ve been moving towards for over a hundred years."
I got a chill from his words, suddenly remembering very clearly the lecture he"d given me and my friends as we sat around a table in my hometown, just before I took Tony back to the Green Forest with me to become a changeling.
"Remind me what that was again?" I said as innocently as possible. I could feel the sweat breaking out on my upper lip, so I fake-coughed, moving my hand up to cover my mouth and surrept.i.tiously wipe it off.
"I"m sure you must remember. We discussed it when you were newly changed. I knew once you"d lived the life of a fae long enough you"d realize the reality of what I said."
I nodded, not sure we were talking about the same thing, hoping we weren"t. "You mean the whole human thing?"
"Exactly." He smiled.
"Explain it to me again. I"m not sure I remember all the details. I was really worried about Tony and all." I played stupid, because I knew he saw me that way. Hopefully, it would help to get his guard down even more.
"It"s simple. I"m sure you understand now that it"s ridiculous for us to continue to live in hiding. The demons escaping to wreak havoc on the human world makes it even more obvious. We are too powerful to live in the shadows. We need to rise up and seize our place in the world."
I nodded, frowning to feign serious consideration of his words, not trusting myself to speak.
Ben continued. "Now that we have the Light and Dark fae together, we can address the issue of humans being aware of our existence."
My heart was beating double-time now. Ben hadn"t changed his mind about anything. He was still wanting to rule the world, and probably now expected me to be at his side the entire time. s.h.i.t! What am I supposed to say to this? I tried to think of a response that wouldn"t give away my thoughts or shut Ben down. I needed to learn his entire plan so I"d know how to deal with it.
The thought kept running around in my brain, and for better or worse, I listened to it: What would Tim do? I said the second thing that popped into my head, glad I had the presence of mind to not say the first thing. "What about the demons and the portals and everything? Shouldn"t we deal with that first?"
He shrugged. "Why would we do that? Their presence here only helps our cause."
Now I was totally confused. "How? By eating the humans" souls?"
"A few, maybe. Humans need to realize there"s a threat before they can be in the right frame of mind to accept our help. Think about it."
Praying my expression wasn"t giving me away, I said, "I guess the demon uprising is pretty convenient when you put it that way."
Ben gave me the most arrogant smile I think that it"s possible for a guy to make. "I knew you"d figure it out. You"re a smart girl. Sometimes what appears to be merely coincidence is actually a carefully coordinated plan to bring about a necessary change. No great accomplishment comes without great sacrifice."
I didn"t trust myself to say the right thing or not try to strangle him. I was pretty sure he was taking credit for the tearing of the veil, but I wasn"t one-hundred-percent there yet; and before I went ballistic, I knew it was critical that I had all the evidence I needed to rat him out for good.
"What"s the matter?" he asked, stepping closer to me. "Are you upset?"
I shook my head. "Huh-uh." I knew it was suspicious that I wasn"t saying more, but I couldn"t do it. I couldn"t let the words come out. It would ruin everything.
"Do you agree with me? That we need to get the humans on board?"
I nodded, using every ounce of self-control I had to look and act cool.
Ben reached up and rubbed my upper arms. "You look a little freaked out."
So much for cool. A different tack seemed like a good idea. Operation psycho cheerleader is now in play. I smiled as hard as I could and turned up the perky to level ten. "I"m just so totally psyched about the idea of living out in the open and having humans know who"s boss and everything. I mean, yeah ... we"re like supernatural and they"re just natural. That tells you something right there." I sounded like an idiot, but maybe Ben wouldn"t notice. He probably thought I sounded that way all the time, anyway.
"Exactly my point." He squeezed my arms. "I knew you"d come around once you"d lived the life of a fae for a while."
"Cool. So who"s on our team? I mean, who"s helping us with our plan?"
"I"ll give you all the details tomorrow. I have a lot to think about, and it"s late. You need your sleep."
"I can stay up. This is all so exiting." If I had a pom-pom, I"d be waving that s.h.i.t all over the place.
"I know, it really is." He dropped his hands from my arms and started rubbing them together. He looked so much like a master-planning psycho at that moment my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. He continued, sounding like he was thinking aloud. "So many pieces to the puzzle. So many events to line up and execute." He came back to the present and stared at me. "You have no idea how long I"ve worked for this." He pulled me into a hug. "I"m so glad we"re in this together. With you on board, we can"t possibly fail. It"ll be like it was always supposed to be."
"What do you mean?" I said into his shoulder. "Like it was always supposed to be, as in, how?"
He was rubbing my back now, and I tried not to be nauseated by his touch.
"A long, long time ago a scrying was made. It showed that our world was destined to be one where the natural and supernatural mingled as one. But somewhere along the way, things went off-track. We became separated. The Mother and the Father were not as one. Now we"re just putting things back to the way they should have stayed, and with you on board with me, it"s a done deal. It"s the natural order of things. I had been afraid to hope before, but now I"m not."
I couldn"t think of anything to say to that. I was always of the mind that things happened for a good reason, even if they felt pretty sucky at the time. Messing with the natural order of things sounded like a really, really bad plan. And the fact that a scrying was involved made me doubly nervous. Everyone on the council seemed to think it was a seriously bad idea to try and see into the future.
"I"ve sacrificed my whole existence on behalf of our kind," he said. "Someday, I believe they will appreciate my efforts." He pulled away from me and stared into my eyes, shaking me once by the shoulders. "Our efforts, Jayne. You must be prepared to make sacrifices."
"Oh, I am," I a.s.sured him. "Totally."
"The first being that you have to keep our plans secret for now. Just between you and me. That means not even telling Tony or that pixie friend of yours."
If Tim ever heard himself being referred to like that, he"d freak. I decided to let it slide in favor of keeping my cover. "Of course not. They wouldn"t understand anyway."
"Exactly."
I glanced over at Beau, wondering if he was falling for my act as thoroughly as Ben was; but as usual, his expression was neutral.
"Do you think you could compel Leck to be with us right now?" asked Ben.
"Why on earth would I want to do that?"
"So he can be part of our discussion."
I"d thought I couldn"t be any more freaked out about this plan than I already was. But I"d been wrong. Now I was well and truly panicked. My voice came out sounding strained. "Leck"s part of the plan?"
"Of course. I couldn"t have done this without him. In fact, he"s kind of the master planner, you could say. He"s the one who convinced me we were doing the right thing. He"s connected to everything; he"s got his finger on the pulse of everyone everywhere."
I cleared my throat and looked at the ground. I wasn"t sure now if I could keep up the game. It was one thing to lead Ben on and try to figure out what his game was, but it was a whole other thing to try and trick Leck and even pretend to like the guy. Apparently, him being banished to the void or whatever wasn"t interfering in his ability to work with Ben on their master plan or to keep his finger on pulses, whatever that meant.
If I had doubts about whether Ben was a good guy or a bad guy before, I didn"t now. He might feel pa.s.sionately about his place in the world versus the humans", and he might want to do what was best for everyone in his mind, but knowing that Leck had tortured me and enjoyed it, and knowing that Leck was right there next to Malena when she tried to kill both of us, Ben shouldn"t have been trusting him or collaborating with him on anything more threatening than choosing a Halloween costume.
The thoughts of costumes and that holiday suddenly brought back memories of a photo of me and Tony. "Were you working on your plan last year around this time? Or two years ago, even? I could have sworn I saw you at a Halloween dance one time." I was too distracted to remember if it was last year or the year before.
Ben smiled. "You remember that, huh? I thought you didn"t notice me."
"Oh, I did, believe me. You"re kind of hard to miss." Feed the ego, Jayne. Good plan.
"But I had a witch work a spell on you so you wouldn"t notice me or remember me. I guess it didn"t work."
He looked chagrined, but I wasn"t buying it. The guy had apparently been manipulating me from the word go. And no way was I going to feel sorry about turning the tables a little bit.
Beau stood up a little straighter, as if he could sense me getting more aggravated. I wasn"t sure what he"d do if the poo started flying, but I had to believe it would be something to help me. He was friends with Chase, or at least they lived in the same place and both had wings. That had to mean they were the good guys.
"Maybe you"re too cute for anyone to not notice you, even with a spell." The truth was, I didn"t remember ever seeing him. But he"d been stupid enough to walk behind my camera just when Tony and I were getting our picture taken, and he"d gotten caught in the frame. But I wasn"t about to tell him that. Let him think it was his pretty face.
"You think I"m cute?"
I shrugged. "You know you are. Don"t act all surprised by it."
"But you think so. I thought that you thought I was ... not so attractive, I guess I should say."
"I don"t hate you, Ben, or think you"re ugly." I sighed. It was true even now. I could hardly fault the guy too much for wanting to do what he felt was right, willing to do whatever it took to make it happen. I had the same kind of personality, and now I knew that I would do whatever it took to make my plan happen - the one that was going to make sure Ben"s plan didn"t work out exactly how he wanted. The difference between us was that I had a line that I wouldn"t cross, and that line included hurting innocent fae and humans. Ben didn"t have a line.
"I admire you. You"re very dedicated." I couldn"t sit here and tell him he was gorgeous. For some reason, over the days and weeks, he"d ceased to look so hot for me. I wasn"t sure if he"d changed or I had.
"I am completely dedicated. Never forget that." He reached up to touch me again, but I backed away, causing him to frown. "You"re upset."
"No, just tired. I really need to sleep. We can talk to Leck another time, okay?"
"Sure, whatever you want. We have time. How about tomorrow after breakfast?"
"Great. I"ll be there. Your room?"
"Perfect." He put his arms stiffly down by his sides. "Send me back then; I"m ready."
I smiled. "Can I do it the same way I did before?"
"Do you want to?"
I warred with myself. Yes, of course I wanted to call him an a.s.s and shove him out of my head; but I knew the new Jayne, the one who was Ben"s BFF wouldn"t do that.
"Nah. I"ll just do it another way."
He smiled. "I was hoping you"d say that."
I smiled back, imagining my new exit strategy, unable to stop myself from at least having a little fun. I stepped forward and pushed him hard in the chest, saying cheerily, "See ya, wouldn"t wanna be ya!"
He disappeared into the darkness that lay just beyond the light.
I turned to Beau, prepared to give him the same send-off, no longer interested in what he thought or looked like. I had a mission now, and no one and nothing was going to get in my way. The only ones I could trust were Tim, Tony, and Chase for sure, and probably my other changeling friends. Beau was an unknown, and I didn"t have time to figure him out. Besides, all that quiet staring guy stuff was starting to get annoying.
I stepped up to him, raising my hands to push him on his chest, but before I could make contact, he grabbed my wrists in a tight grip. I was so startled, I froze, my hands suspended in between us. He pulled me closer, to the point that I could feel the heat coming from his body. I noticed for the first time that his shirt was open at the neck, and I could see the slight rise of a chest muscle and the dip where it met the other in the middle. My imagination ran wild from there, and I knew immediately exactly how buff he was under his tunic. I had to force the image out of my brain so I could concentrate on first, figuring out what his deal was, and second, getting rid of him.
"Don"t," he said, staring at me so intensely, I felt like a flower getting too much sun. I wilted under his gaze.
"Don"t what?" I asked, my voice coming out almost a whisper.
"Don"t send me away yet." His grip loosened and my curiosity grew.
"Why not?"
"I would like to speak with you."
"About what?"
He said nothing, just continued holding my wrists, his grip getting looser as he stared.
"This might work better if you weren"t manhandling me, you know."
"You"ll send me out."
"No, I won"t. Not right away, I promise." I was tired, but no way was I going to pa.s.s up knowing what was on this angel"s mind.
He let me go, lowering his arms slowly to his sides. "You are confusing me."
I smiled. "Join the club. I confuse myself all the time."
"I cannot decide if you are agreeing with the elemental or defying him."
"Defying all the way. But that"s between you, me, and Chase. Tell anyone and I"ll clip your wings."
"You cannot. And why do you keep bringing Chase into your conversation with me?"
"Because ... you"re both angels. You"re both in the Overworld. You"re both helping us out. I figured you guys were like ... friends or whatever. Can you bring him a message from me?"