"I"m pretty sure that battle stuff doesn"t count in the math." I slumped down even farther. No wonder that demon wanted to have s.e.x with me at my mom"s house. I"m probably like seriously s.e.xy bad-girl material to these guys.
"Whatever ... my point is, neither of us has done anything to deserve being here, so something"s wrong. There"s been a mistake."
"I"m thinking why you? I can understand me, since I was messing with the elements and that"s probably frowned on in most circles. But what"s your excuse?"
Tim came up to my face, so close it made my eyes cross. "Are you trying to make me cranky, Jayne? Because if so, it"s working. I have no idea how the wires got crossed and I ended up here, but it doesn"t matter. I"m not staying!" And with that, he flew off into the trees.
"Wait! Don"t leave me!" I yelled after him. But it was too late. He was already gone.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
I TRIED TO FOLLOW TIM, headed in the direction he had been going when he disappeared. I crashed through the trees and underbrush, the going much harder without The Green helping me along. I was too afraid to try and connect, worried it would taint my soul even worse than it apparently already was.
I was convinced that was my problem. Sure, I"d been a wench to several people, but other than possibly killing Malena and Leck, I couldn"t think of anything I"d done that was Underworld-worthy. And technically, those two Dark Fae were trying to kill Ben and me so that shouldn"t even count since it was self-defense. So it had to be the smudges on my soul that Samantha hadn"t fully erased. Once again, I had another reason to dislike her.
Now, Tim was another story. He had so many secrets I had no idea whether his being here was a mistake or not. He"d probably never tell me what I wanted to know, so I didn"t even entertain the idea of asking him. I knew there was only one way to fix this, and that was to go into the Gray and find that tear in the veil so we could sneak through it.
After I walked for a while, I started recognizing things. This place was definitely drearier than the Here and Now, but it was essentially the same. We were in the Green Forest heading towards Maggie"s house. The fae compound was somewhere nearby. Deciding that finding a hideout of about a thousand vampires and orcs and such was probably a really bad idea, I kept my mind off the doors to the compound, just in case they had spells here like we had that would make the entrances appear.
"Jayne!"
Someone was calling for me, back in the direction I"d just come from. I ran and hid behind the biggest tree I could find, trying to keep my breathing slow and even. It wasn"t Tim back there, and the only other creature here who knew me was the Spike imposter.
"Jayne! Come on! I know you"re out here somewhere!"
It"s demon-Spike. Just stay calm. Don"t let him hear you. I wasn"t keep on being raped or even kiss-attacked at this point. I was too weak to fight anyone off, let alone my s.e.xy friend in disguise.
He appeared at the spot I"d just been standing in. I could see him through the brush that surrounded the huge tree I was hiding behind. Just keep walking, blood sucker. I"m not on the menu today.
"Jayne, I want to help you. I can get you back into the Gray so you can find your way home!" He stopped and looked in all directions, his gaze freezing on the tree.
I tried not to move a single muscle. I even held my breath.
"Jayne, I can sense you are here. You and I are connected. Come out. Do not play games with me."
I waited to see what he would do.
First he was standing there and then the next second he was gone. A tap on my shoulder made me jump.
"Aaaahh!" I screamed, whipping Blackie up and spinning around, touching demon-Spike"s shoulder with it. Nothing happened. I looked up at the impotent stick in my hand whose tip was still resting on Spike"s collar bone and frowned. "What the h.e.l.l?"
"The dragonfire is not active in the Underworld. Unless, of course, it is connected to its true owner ... which could be arranged."
My chest constricted. "The Dark? He"s here?" The idea of that black dragon slinking around in the trees made me sick with fear. He was small, but I had the distinct impression that he could kick some serious b.u.t.t when he wanted to. Or even just eat some serious b.u.t.t if he was hungry enough.
"Of course he is here. And not that far away, actually. You can smell the sulfur, can you not?"
I sniffed the wind and sure enough, smelled something like a hard-boiled egg. "Dragons smell like egg salad sandwiches?"
He shrugged. "I suppose. In any case, while I realize you wished to burn me with your weapon, I have chosen not to hold that against you. Spike would be most distressed if he knew that I fed you to the dragons or demons who would like to partake of your flesh."
I swallowed hard. "Are you serious? Fae would eat me here?" Cannibal demons. Just when I thought life couldn"t possibly suck more.
"Why not? Not everyone here is as focused as I am on being back in the Here and Now as upstanding fae citizens. Some prefer it here. There are less ... restrictions, shall we say."
I tried to wrap my mind around that awful fact, but chose to change the subject instead, mainly to conserve my sanity for when I"d really need it, like if a dragon came at me, stinkin" up the place with his rotten egg breath.
"Listen, err, Spike ... I"d really like to get out of here. Could you by any chance show me the way to the door?"
"The door? What door?"
"The door into the Gray. Or the rip. Or the seam. Whatever you guys call it."
He smiled but not kindly. "We call it the void. You wish to step into the void?"
The way he said it made me shiver. It sounded so wrong, but I said it anyway. "Yes, I"d like to step into the void ... as long as it will take me back to the Here and Now."
"There is a toll you must pay."
"A toll?" I asked, my weak voice p.i.s.sing me off. But all I could picture was that guy who was a huge skeleton on the River Styx holding out his boney hand. And I"d forgotten to bring any chocolate b.a.l.l.s with me.
"Of course. There is a pa.s.sage and you must pay the toll."
I tried humor to get past the anxiety. "Is there, like, a troll there or something?"
"Precisely."
My smile disappeared in an instant. "Trolls aren"t real," I whispered.
He leaned in, almost nose to nose with me now. "I"ll bet you said the same thing about vampires, once." And then he smiled, his glistening fangs looking way too sharp and definitely way too close.
I stepped away as far as I could, my back coming up against the tree. "Stay away from me, vampire."
He let out a long breath. "You have nothing to fear from me. I am shackled by Spike"s love for you. It is an annoying but ever-present specter. I am bringing you to the void so that I can escape this unfortunate prison."
"Hey. That"s kind of rude, don"t you think?"
He shrugged. "Love usually is a prison. I do not find it enjoyable in the least."
"Sounds very Underworldy to me. If you want to be in the Here and Now again, you might want to learn how to enjoy being in love. I"m pretty sure that"s the main goal over there."
He paused to consider my words. "You are correct, of course. I had not considered it in that way before. Our time in the forest together was quite enjoyable, I must admit. I could be convinced to indulge again." He stepped closer to me.
I held my hands out as a barrier. "Keep your fangs and your nasty vampire-parts away from me, loverboy. I"m not interested. Not as long as you have that black soul inside you. Just show me the way to the void. Maybe your good deed will help you get out of here faster."
"Perhaps. In any case, I long for my own corpus. We shall step into the void together so you can have your friend back and I can have myself back. I must say, I do not envy him your company, as I know you will probably just toy with his emotions again; but it is his choice to continue on his fruitless and hopeless journey to your heart. I shall worry about it no longer."
My mouth dropped open at his nerve. "You know ... you are a seriously insulting vampire. I don"t see where you get off judging me like that."
"I am but an observer. You do as you wish. Spike"s heart is there for you to cherish or destroy, at your leisure."
I shook my head, speechless. This guy was a total t.u.r.d. He must have been sent to the Underworld as punishment for giving out torturous, h.e.l.lacious guilt trips. I wondered if maybe he hadn"t been a math teacher or something in his last life.
He moved away from my tree, going in the direction Tim had flown. I stepped out from behind my shelter and followed him.
CHAPTER NINE.
THE MORE WE WALKED, THE closer we got to the Ancient - the tree that was Maggie"s home. My mind was going a million miles an hour, trying to figure out how she might be involved in all of this or if she even was. The smell of sulfur sometimes faded and occasionally got stronger, but it never fully went away.
I wondered if sulfur and brimstone were the same thing. That would mean dragons had the whole fire and brimstone thing going on, and it probably also meant I didn"t want to see one while I was here. They had only been about as big as sheepdogs back in Ben"s room, but with a stink this powerful, I was worried what that might mean when seeing one in person. A hallucination was one thing; a live dragon was something else entirely.
We entered the clearing that surrounded Maggie"s house. Tim was there in the center of it, hovering about ten feet up in the air.
"Tim, what are you doing up there?"
"Jayne, stop! Don"t come any closer!"
I took one more step, but Spike"s arm came out to keep me from going any farther.
"What"s up?" I asked him.
"I believe your friend is being held in a suspension spell."
"He"s right!" yelled a very annoyed Tim. "Some idget put a spell over this spot and clipped my wings." He struggled against invisible bonds, growling out his words as he twisted and bent over to try and free himself. "When I get out of this, someone"s going to be very sorry, that"s all I have to say. b.u.t.ts are gonna get pixied, eyes are gonna get poked, and noses are gonna feel the wrath of my son"s polly b.a.l.l.s!"
I tried not to laugh at his predicament, but it was really hard. He looked like he was having a midair seizure.
"Ha, ha, laugh all you want, Lellamental. I hope you"ll bring some flowers to my funeral."
"You"re not going to die," I said, brushing off his fears as I searched the immediate area for a solution to our problem.
"Oh yeah? What do you think they have a suspension spell around here for? Giggles? To trap potential Scrabble players for their next game? No! They do this to capture their next meal or their next victim. I"m going down, I tell you! Down and very possibly in flames!" He was working himself into a serious lather up there, making me worried one of us was going to get pixied. It reminded me that Spike was supposed to already be pixied. But he was suspiciously without dance moves or laughter.
"Hey, what happened to your pixelation? How come you"re not laughing and dancing the night way?"
"Pixie dust doesn"t work down here like it works where you are from. Pixies are not normal pixies here."
I looked at Tim, squinting to see him better. "He looks the same to me. Little head. Little b.u.t.t. Shiny wings. Decent hair. Huge ego. Yeah. That"s definitely still Tim up there."
"He may be now. But eventually, if he stays, he will not be."
Spike"s words were super chilling. "What will he be?" I whispered.
"A nasty little creature you do not want to meet. Let us get him down out of that trap and get you into the void. Nothing good can come of you and him being where you should not be."
"What about you? I mean, Spike? I want my friend back."
"And so you shall have him. I will come through with you long enough to put things to rights. I have seen what I needed to see."
"What"s that supposed to mean?" I looked at him accusingly.
I got no answer, but Tim had no problem weighing in.
"He"s a spy! Don"t trust him, Jayne. Stay away from him. He"s a demon and there"s no such thing as a good demon!"
The imposter spoke to Tim now. "That may be true, but it is not true to say that everyone here has the same goal in mind. I have worked almost a thousand years to get back to the Here and Now for another chance at a good life, and I will do nothing to endanger this opportunity, even if some say my concern is no longer necessary."
"Whoa. Who"s saying that?" I asked. "Is it Torrie?"
"Torrie. Others. I pay them no heed. I do what I must for my own future. They do what they must for theirs. We do not work well as teams or partners in the Underworld, generally speaking."
"Well, that"s good to know," I said. "Less chance of them succeeding if they can"t group together."
"I said, generally speaking. Do not misunderstand me. Torrie is a formidable force here, and he is quite determined. It is amazing, really, what a very determined demon is capable of accomplishing with the right group of like-minded individuals at his side."
"Pfft. You"re telling me. The guy is a friggin psychopath."
"He truly believes he belongs in the Here and Now, living as he believes he is ent.i.tled."
A shiver ran up my spine at Spike"s words. I had to repeat them, just to be completely sure he meant what I was afraid he did. "Did you say, he belongs in the Here and Now?"
"That is his belief. I am not sure who agrees with him, but I gather it is not an insignificant number."
"Who decides that? I mean, where Torrie belongs?"
"No one knows. Perhaps it is the Spirit. There is a judgment and the person is sent to one Otherworld or the other. But Torrie claims the judgment was not correct in his case. That there was ... tomfoolery involved."
"So he"s a conspiracy nut," I said, summarizing as best I could while still being nearly in the dark about all the players and how things worked between the realms.
Spike shrugged. "It is a matter of opinion. I have none where he is concerned." He turned his head towards Tim. "Pixie ... how did you become ensnared?"
"I was flying up to Maggie"s door - the door in the tree - when I felt a noose slip around my waist. And here I am. Strung up like a goose ready to be plucked for a feast. And can I say for the record that being hung like this with dragons sneaking around ... it"s not fun, okay? It"s not fun at all. Someone needs to get me down from here and on-the-double. I can smell lizard b.a.l.l.s getting closer every minute."
My throat closed up a little, making it hard for me to draw a breath. My gaze swept the forest floor around me and out in the distance, hoping if there was a dragon around that I"d see it first before it saw me.
"What are you looking for?" asked Spike, watching me with a quizzical expression.