Beulah followed Mrs. Martin up the steps, somewhat rea.s.sured by her kind reception. The room was in utter confusion, the toilet-table covered with powder, hairpins, bows of different colored ribbon, and various bits of jewelry; the hearth unswept, the workstand groaning beneath the superinc.u.mbent ma.s.s of sewing, finished and unfinished garments, working materials, and, to crown the whole, the lady"s winter hat. A girl, apparently about thirteen years of age, was seated by the fire, busily embroidering a lamp-mat; another, some six years younger, was dressing a doll; while an infant, five or six months old, crawled about the carpet, eagerly picking up pins, needles, and every other objectionable article his little purple fingers could grasp.
"Take him, Beulah," said the mother.
She stooped to comply, and was surprised that the little fellow testified no fear of her. She raised him in her arms, and kissed his rosy cheeks, as he looked wonderingly at her.
"Ma, is that Johnny"s new nurse? What is her name?" said the youngest girl, laying down her doll and carefully surveying the stranger.
"Yes, Annie; and her name is Beulah," replied the mother, adjusting her bonnet.
"Beulah--it"s about as pretty as her face. Yes, just about,"
continued Annie, in an audible whisper to her sister. The latter gave Beulah a condescending stare, curled her lips disdainfully, and, with a polite "Mind your own business, Annie," returned to her embroidery.
"Keep the baby by the fire; and if he frets you must feed him.
Laura, show her where to find his cup of arrowroot, and you and Annie stay here till I come home."
"No, indeed, ma, I can"t; for I must go down and practice my music lesson," answered the eldest daughter decisively.
"Well, then, Annie, stay in my room."
"I am going to make some sugar-candy, ma. She"--pointing to Beulah-- "can take care of Johnny. I thought that was what you hired her for."
"You will make no sugar-candy till I come home, Miss Annie; do you hear that? Now, mind what I said to you."
Mrs. Martin rustled out of the room, leaving Annie to scowl ominously at the new nurse, and vent her spleen by boxing her doll, because the inanimate little lady would not keep her blue-bead eyes open. Beulah loved children, and Johnny forcibly reminded her of earlier days, when she had carried Lilly about in her arms. For some time after the departure of Mrs. Martin and Laura, the little fellow seemed perfectly satisfied, but finally grew fretful, and Beulah surmised he might be hungry.
"Will you please give me the baby"s arrowroot?"
"I don"t know anything about it; ask Harrison."
"Who is Harrison?"
"Why, the cook."
Glancing around the room, she found the arrowroot; the boy was fed, and soon fell asleep. Beulah sat in a low rocking-chair, by the hearth, holding the infant, and watching the little figure opposite.
Annie was trying to fit a new silk waist to her doll, but it was too broad one way and too narrow another. She twisted and jerked it divers ways, but all in vain; and at last, disgusted by the experiment, she tore it off and aimed it at the fire, with an impatient cry.
"The plagued, bothering, ugly thing! My Lucia never shall wear such a fit."
Beulah caught the discarded waist, and said quietly:
"You can very easily make it fit, by taking up this seam and cutting it out in the neck."
"I don"t believe it."
"Then, hand me the doll and the scissors, and I will show you."
"Her name is Miss Lucia-di-Lammermoor. Mr. Green named her. Don"t say "doll"; call her by her proper name," answered the spoiled child, handing over the unfortunate waxen representative of a not less unfortunate heroine.
"Well, then, Miss Lucia-di-Lammermoor," said Beulah, smiling. A few alterations reduced the dress to proper dimensions, and Annie arrayed her favorite in it, with no slight degree of satisfaction.
The obliging manner of the new nurse won her heart, and she began to chat pleasantly enough. About two o"clock Mrs. Martin returned, inquired after Johnny, and again absented herself to "see about dinner." Beulah was very weary of the close, disordered room, and as the babe amused himself with his ivory rattle, she swept the floor, dusted the furniture, and arranged the chairs. The loud ringing of a bell startled her, and she conjectured dinner was ready. Some time elapsed before any of the family returned, and then Laura entered, looking very sullen. She took charge of the babe, and rather ungraciously desired the nurse to get her dinner.
"I do not wish any," answered Beulah.
At this stage of the conversation the door opened, and a boy, seemingly about Eugene"s age, entered the room. He looked curiously at Beulah, inclined his head slightly, and joined his sister at the fire.
"How do you like her, Laura?" he asked, in a distinct undertone.
"Oh, I suppose she will do well enough! but she is horribly ugly,"
replied Laura, in a similar key.
"I don"t know, sis. It is what Dr. Patton, the lecturer on physiognomy, would call a "striking" face."
"Yes, strikingly ugly, d.i.c.k. Her forehead juts over, like the eaves of the kitchen, and her eyebrows--"
"Hush! she will hear you. Come down and play that new waltz for me, like a good sister." The two left the room. Beulah had heard every word; she could not avoid it, and as she recalled Mrs. Grayson"s remark concerning her appearance on the previous day, her countenance reflected her intense mortification. She pressed her face against the window-pane and stared vacantly out. The elevated position commanded a fine view of the town, and on the eastern horizon the blue waters of the harbor glittered with "silvery sheen." At any other time, and with different emotions, Beulah"s love of the beautiful would have been particularly gratified by this extended prospect; but now the whole possessed no charms for her darkened spirit. For the moment, earth was black-hued to her gaze; she only saw "horribly ugly" inscribed on sky and water. Her soul seemed to leap forward and view nearer the myriad motes that floated in the haze of the future. She leaned over the vast whirring lottery wheel of life, and saw a blank come up, with her name stamped upon it. But the grim smile faded from her lips, and brave endurance looked out from the large, sad eyes, as she murmured,
"Be not like dumb, driven cattle, Be a hero in the strife."
"If I am ugly, G.o.d made me so, and I know "He doeth all things well." I will not let it bother me; I will try not to think of it.
But, oh! I am so glad, I thank G.o.d that he made my Lilly beautiful.
She will never have to suffer as I do now. My own darling Lilly!"
Large drops glistened in her eyes; she rarely wept; but though the tears did not fall, they gathered often in the gray depths. The evening pa.s.sed very quietly; Mr. Martin was absent in a distant State, whither, as traveling agent for a mercantile house, he was often called. After tea, when little Johnny had been put to sleep in his crib, Mrs. Martin directed Annie to show the nurse her own room.
Taking a candle, the child complied, and her mother ordered one of the servants to carry up the trunk containing Beulah"s clothes. Up, up two weary, winding flights of steps, the little Annie toiled, and, pausing at the landing of the second, pointed to a low attic chamber, lighted by dormer windows on the east and west. The floor was uncovered; the furniture consisted of a narrow trundle-bed, a washstand, a cracked looking-gla.s.s suspended from a nail, a small deal table, and a couple of chairs. There were, also, some hooks driven into the wall, to hang clothes upon.
"You need not be afraid to sleep here, because the boarders occupy the rooms on the floor below this; and besides, you know robbers never get up to the garret," said Annie, glancing around the apartment, and shivering with an undefined dread, rather than with cold, though her nose and fingers were purple, and this garret chamber possessed neither stove nor chimney.
"I am not afraid; but this is only one garret room. Are the others occupied?"
"Yes--by carpets in summer and rats in winter," laughed Annie.
"I suppose I may have a candle?" said Beulah, as the porter deposited her trunk and withdrew.
"Yes, this one is for you. Ma is always uneasy about fire, so don"t set anything in a blaze to keep yourself warm. Here, hold the light at the top of the steps till I get down to the next floor, then there is a hall-lamp. Good-night."
"Good-night." Beulah bolted the door, and surveyed her new apartment. Certainly it was sufficiently cheerless, but its isolated position presented to her a redeeming feature. Thought she, "I can sit up here, and read just as late as I please. Oh! I shall have so much time to myself these long, long nights." Unpacking her trunk, she hung her dresses on the hooks, placed the books Mrs. Mason and Eugene had given her on the table, and, setting the candle beside them, smiled in antic.i.p.ation of the many treats in store for her.
She read several chapters in her Bible, and then, as her head ached and her eyes grew heavy, she sank upon her knees. Ah! what an earnest, touching pet.i.tion ascended to the throne of the Father; prayers, first for Lilly and Claudia, and lastly for herself.
"Help me, O Lord! not to be troubled and angry when I hear that I am so ugly; and make me remember that I am your child." Such was her final request, and she soon slept soundly, regardless of the fact that she was now thrown upon the wide, though not altogether cold or unloving, world.
CHAPTER IV.
Day after day pa.s.sed monotonously, and, except a visit from Eugene, there was no link added to the chain which bound Beulah to the past.
That brief visit encouraged and cheered the lonely heart, yearning for affectionate sympathy, yet striving to hush the hungry cry and grow contented with its lot. During the second week of her stay little Johnny was taken sick, and he had become so fond of his new attendant that no one else was permitted to hold him. Often she paced the chamber floor for hours, lulling the fretful babe with softly sung tunes of other days, and the close observer, who could have peered at such times into the downcast eyes, might have easily traced in the misty depths memories that nestled in her heart"s sanctuary. The infant soon recovered, and one warm, sunny afternoon, when Mrs. Martin directed Beulah to draw him in his wicker carriage up and down the pavement before the door, she could no longer repress the request which had trembled on her lips more than once, and asked permission to take her little charge to Mrs. Grayson"s. A rather reluctant a.s.sent was given, and soon the carriage was drawn in the direction of Mr. Grayson"s elegant city residence. A marvelous change came over the wan face of the nurse as she paused at the marble steps, guarded on either side by sculptured lions. "To see Lilly." The blood sprang to her cheeks, and an eager look of delight crept into the eyes. The door was partially opened by an insolent-looking footman, whose hasty glance led him to suppose her one of the numerous supplicants for charity, who generally left that princely mansion as empty-handed as they came. He was about to close the door; but, undaunted by this reception, she hastily asked to see Mrs. Grayson and Lillian Benton.