20.
been fascinated. She sat down on the sofa but only stared at the book on her knees. With heart pounding and hands shaking, she eventually opened it. The list of books was at the front, just as Danny had said. Consulting the small paper, she found John 4 and began to read.
All time and s.p.a.ce fell away as she read the story of a woman. She was a Samaritan woman who was a little way outside the city drawing water from a well. The story said that Jesus, who was resting by the well, spoke to her and asked for a drink. The woman didn"t know it was Jesus, but as they talked He began to tell her things about her life, immoral things that Sabrina figured she probably wanted to keep hidden. That He"d even spoken to her, a Samaritan, was a surprise, but she didn"t run away, not even when she realized He knew everything.
Sabrina had to stop and think. The woman was talking to Jesus and didn"t even know it. She was standing with Jesus and He knew all about her. He knew she was living with a man and had been married several times.
A shudder ran over Sabrina. Having G.o.d know about the life she was living bothered her no small amount. The woman at the well had spoken freely to Jesus, never imagining that He knew every detail of her life.
How do I talk to You? Sabrina asked G.o.d, fear filling her that she even dared. I"m not like this woman. I know that You know.
Making herself not think about it, Sabrina turned to the next chapter a.s.signment. This time she read in John 8 about a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. Sabrina could never remember a woman coming to the brothel and catching her husband with another woman. She wondered for a moment how this woman had been caught before reading on.
Jesus did not react the way the Pharisees did. He was calm, almost disinterested, but before it was over He told her not to sin anymore, so He knew what she"d done was wrong. Sabrina knew the life she lived was wrong, but she didn"t feel she had a choice. Maybe she had at one time, but not now.
21.
"I need to ask you something."
"Sit down," Callie invited, and even moved a chair so Sabrina would sit close.
"How did you silence Lil today? What happened in the hall?"
Callie smiled. "At one time I would have been complimented by her offer, but now I"m insulted. My look turned cold, Bri. I stopped long enough to look Lil in the eyes, and she knew she"d stepped out of line to even suggest such a thing to me."
Sabrina thought she would give anything to be in such a position, but again told herself that it was too late.
"Are you all right?" Callie asked.
"I read those chapters. I didn"t know there were immoral women in the Bible."
"All through the Bible," Callie told her, smiling a little. "Don"t forget, sin is nothing new, and s.e.xual sin is a powerful temptation that started in the book of Genesis."
"What"s the book of Genesis?"
"The first book in the Bible," Callie answered, and then asked, "Did your family ever go to church? Did anyone ever tell you about the Bible?"
"No, my mother didn"t like it, and my father didn"t seem to care." Sabrina shrugged. "I can"t remember knowing anyone who went to church. Sunday was our only day off and we stayed home."
Callie nodded and thought about this, realizing Sabrina had probably just described the way thousands of folks in Denver lived. Many worked hard all week with little time or thought for G.o.d.
The silence at the table lengthened but was not uncomfortable. Eventually Sabrina had another question.
22 "All those years ago, what did Danny"s father say to you that helped you?"
"Let me think." Callie took a moment. No one had ever asked her that, and it had been a long time past. "I think I was most helped when he said I had choices. I didn"t think I did. He said I had a choice about what I do for a living and what I believe. He turned out to be right. I eventually did believe in Christ to save me, and once I did that, I realized I did have a choice about everything."
Sabrina might have had another question, but someone knocked on the front door. Callie excused herself, and Sabrina went back to John 4. She read in verse 39 that many people in the city believed on Jesus because of the things the woman from the well had shared. At the end of verse 42, Sabrina read, "Know that this is indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world."
Savior of the world. The words reverberated in Sabrina"s head, and for the first time a glimmer of hope began to shine in the corner of her mind.
"Come into the kitchen," Callie"s voice sounded before she arrived. "Come and meet Bri."
Sabrina looked up in time to see Callie enter the room, a baby in her arms.
"This is my granddaughter, Delta," Callie said, laughing when Sabrina"s mouth opened.
"You can"t be a grandmother," Sabrina argued even as she looked at the baby, who smiled up at Callie.
"This isn"t even my first," Callie explained. And without warning, the kitchen filled with people who were introduced to Sabrina. The man was Scott Barshaw, a large man like his father, along with his wife, Lisa, and their older child, Josh. Danny came from upstairs in the midst of it, and Josh ran for his grandfather.
"How"s my big boy?" Danny asked Josh, who began to chatter 23 happily into his grandfather"s face. Sabrina could not have been less comfortable with all of this, but no one seemed to notice.
"We have cake," Callie was saying. "Bri helped me with the baking yesterday, and we have more than we can possibly eat."
"Why don"t you give me Delta, Mother," Scott was saying, and Sabrina saw her chance. The Bible still in her hands, she slipped out of the kitchen, back to the living room, and then onto the front porch. It was cold, a little too cold to be outside, but she had to read more about Jesus and at the moment the temperature didn"t matter.
"I can"t find her," Callie said quietly to Danny some time later, having just come from upstairs. Her face was sad, sure she had left them, but Danny took over. He didn"t know why it was obvious to him that Sabrina was outside except that he"d seen the look on her face when the family arrived. Slipping into a coat and grabbing one of Callie"s, he went out the front door and found her on the first step.
"How are you doing?" he asked as he placed the coat around her shoulders and took a seat.
"It says here that Jesus turned water into wine. How did He do that?"
"He"s G.o.d, and He can perform miracles."
"And then this child," Sabrina went on. "He healed a man"s son without even being there."
"Jesus" miracles are recorded all through the New Testament." "I thought I was reading the Bible."
"The Bible is divided into the Old and New Testaments." Sabrina looked back down at the book and then out at the street. A man walked by, and it brought her back to earth.
"I can"t keep staying here. I"m not making any money, and you can"t live without that."
"Is that really what you want to do-go back to the night district and make money?"
24 "Sometimes we don"t have choices."
"That"s true, but not in this instance."
Sabrina didn"t argue. She knew he was right. They had told her she could stay, and she knew they meant it.
"I do have some money put away. I can pay for my keep." "I don"t expect that. I won"t take money from you."
"Because of the way I earned it?"
"No. You"ll need your money for new clothes."
Sabrina frowned at him in confusion.
"All of Callie"s dresses are going to come up above your ankles, and your dresses don"t cover you on top."
Sabrina gawked at him. She"d never met such a plain-talking man. He didn"t blush or beat about the bush, and Sabrina wondered if this was the type of man it took to marry a woman in her occupation. She didn"t say this, however, but changed the subject.
"Callie told me I could move out completely today. Did you know that?"
"She told me. Why didn"t you?"
"I wanted to, but I was afraid of not having any money, living on the streets, and having to start all over."
"How about you look for work around here?" Danny suggested.
"Doing what?"
"I don"t know. We"ll ask around and see what comes of it." "Will I have to say where I"ve been?"
"I don"t know why you would," Danny said, not telling her that some folks, who knew the way Danny and Callie operated, would have already guessed. They would also never say anything to her. It wasn"t important.
Sabrina looked back out to the street. It was such a nice neighborhood, a little like the one she"d grown up in. Such memories hadn"t come to mind in a long time, and for a moment Sabrina felt sick with longing.
"Are you all right?" Danny asked, but Sabrina didn"t answer.
25.
She looked back at the Bible and started again with her questions about Jesus.
A month later, Sabrina came home from work at the laundry to find the house quiet. She went to the kitchen and found a note from Callie.
[ I"m sorry about giving you such short notice, Bri, but Danny is taking me out to dinner. There are plenty of ingredients for a meal, and even some leftovers. We"ll see you when we get home. Callie Sabrina sat at the kitchen table, weary but not discontent. The familiar and comforting sounds of the house creaked around her as she sat alone for the first time in a month. She had stayed with the Barshaws only a week before realizing she wanted to make the move final. Once again the three of them had gone to Market Street, and this time she had packed for good. Lil had seen her and said she"d be welcome when she ran out of money, but Sabrina had not replied. She was afraid of that very thing but unwilling to admit that to Lill.
But money had not been an issue. The very next day Danny found her work at the laundry, only four blocks from their house, and so far she had been treated well. One man had recognized her, but he had no authority over her and looked as uncomfortable as she did about the encounter. She never saw him after the first day, and that had been the end of it.
Twice on the walk home she"d been stopped by men, one who said he knew her. But no one had touched her or tried to detain her.
26 The hours at the laundry were long, and the work was hard, but she was still glad she"d made the trade.
Each week she attended church with the Barshaws and listened. Questions filled her Sunday afternoons, and Sabrina was learning more every week. Gone was the fear of G.o.d"s anger if she read the Word. She read it every day and always hungered for more.
In fact, she reached for the Bible now. She was working her way through the Christmas story because that holiday was just weeks away. Before she could get to Luke, however, some verses in Matthew 7 caught her attention.
She read, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart fromme,ye that work iniquity. Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."
"This is me," she whispered to the Lord. "I"ve heard what I"m supposed to do, but I haven"t done it. I live here in comfort and safety, but I know I"m not ready to face You. You would say You"ve never known me."
For a moment, Sabrina"s breathing came hard. Fear crowded in, but then she remembered that she knew what to do. She did know the will of G.o.d in heaven. It was to believe on His Son, Jesus Christ. Danny had told her; Callie had said the words; and even Pastor Lederman had gone over them on Sunday.
27"You died for me. You died to take my sins. I believe this, Lord. I can"t save myself. I can"t forgive myself, but You offer forgiveness, and I want that, Lord. I don"t want You to send me away. Please save me, G.o.d in heaven. Please save me for all time."
Sabrina had no idea how long she sat there and prayed, but it must have been some time because Danny and Callie came home before she could even fix herself something to eat. She met them at the door, her face alight with peace as she told them the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her.
"She handled it well," Callie told Danny as they readied for bed, "but all the color drained from her face, and she was so quiet the rest of the evening."
Danny looked as pained as he felt.
"It just keeps happening, Danny. We"re not that far from the night district, but our neighborhood is like another world. Why are men suddenly finding her?"
"I don"t know, but she has to stop answering the door. You or I will go to the door, and make it clear to whoever is standing there that Raven is not available for such activities. Tell them there is no Raven."
"What about work?"
Danny"s head fell back. He could not protect Sabrina everywhere, but it didn"t change the need he felt. He looked over at his wife, who had tears in her eyes. Danny put an arm around her and pulled her close. He didn"t want to suggest what he was thinking, but at some point it was going to have to come up. Sabrina had come to them in November and believed before Christmas. It was now May. It seemed to the Barshaws that memories would fade. Sabrina had started a new life and left the old one behind, but somehow the old life was 28 finding her, which probably meant one thing: It was time for Sabrina Matthews to leave Denver.
"I don"t have to work until noon tomorrow. We"ll talk about this in the morning."
"You"re going to send her away, aren"t you?" Callie guessed.
"If I do, Cal, it"s because I love her too much to do anything else."
Callie"s tears would not be stopped. Mindful that Sabrina was just down the hall, she used her husband"s chest to m.u.f.fle the sobs, completely unaware that Sabrina still heard them, her heart sinking with dread over what they might mean.
"Montana?" Sabrina asked quietly, her eyes having grown to the size of moons.
"Yes," Danny answered. "Montana Territory."
"Do you really think I need to go that far to escape being recognized?"
"No, you don"t, but I know of a fine church family. You would fit right in."
Sabrina"s look was almost comical. Callie had told herself to be strong, but she was already feeling teary. Sabrina could not help but notice.
"Is this what you were crying about last night?" the younger woman asked.