"I was able to see clearly for the first time that she never wanted bad news. She would say to all of us when we came home, "Tell me the good news." If my father tried to tell her something serious or sad, she would leave the room."
"Who died first?"
"My father. At that point Sybil went from willful to promiscuous. I couldn"t tell my mother because that wouldn"t have been good news, but Sybil was beautiful, and she loved the attention men paid 212 her. She would hide the jewelry and gifts they would give her from our mother."
"Was she a prost.i.tute?"
"Not right away. But when she realized the money she could make, she was out every night that last year my mother was alive, not walking the streets, but seeing men she knew and were willing to pay. My mother died without knowing what my sister had become."
"But she got you involved."
Sabrina sighed. "Yes, once my mother died we had even less money. My sister didn"t like sharing her money, and she didn"t like the house we had grown up in-it wasn"t fancy enough. When our mother died, she gave me a little bit of time but then said it was time for me to make it on my own."
"How old were you?"
"Sixteen."
Rylan didn"t know the last time he thought he could sob his eyes out. At 16 a young woman is supposed to be dad"s girl, special in his eyes and treated like the treasure she is until that special someone comes along.
"What are you thinking?" Sabrina asked. Rylan had not realized she"d been watching him so closely.
"That it must have been awful, and that"s not the way it"s supposed to be when you"re 16."
"I"ve asked myself how it is supposed to be, but I don"t really want to know. In some ways it"s easier not to know what you"ve missed." Sabrina shook her head again. "There I go, sounding like my mother, who wanted only good news."
"I think there"s a difference between living in unreality and not torturing yourself with things you can"t change."
Sabrina stared at him.
"What did I say?"
"I just appreciate your understanding."
"I"m glad, and speaking of appreciating, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated your taking the time to see Crystal last weekend."
213 "She doesn"t think I"ll be back to see her, but I will."
"Of course you will," Rylan said dryly. "There"s no chance you"ll stay away from the roughest neighborhood in town."
Sabrina had to smile. "It"s not my fault she lives there." "Do me a favor. Just take me along."
Sabrina only smiled at him, and it was Rylan"s turn to shake his head. This one needed watching, he was completely convinced of that.
"It"s getting dark," Rylan said next. "I"ll walk you back." "It was nice to be out."
"We"ll do it again," Rylan suggested as they turned toward Jeanette"s.
"The walk or the talk about my past?"
"Both if you"re amenable."
"Why is that?" Sabrina asked.
"Because I can"t know who you are if I don"t know what your life has been like."
"And you want to know who I am?"
"Yes, I do," Rylan said quietly.
Sabrina looked at him and he looked back, but they didn"t speak on it again. He walked her inside, took a little time with Jeanette, and then left for home, wondering all the while what future walks and talks would look like.
"It"s even hot in the shade," Jessie complained on Sunday evening. She was having a picnic with the girls, and they had invited Sabrina along.
"Enjoy it," Sabrina said. "Before you know it we"ll be freezing and wishing for a little of this heat."
"Must you remind me?" Jessie said just before Clancy called to them.
"Come over. You can"t get wet there."
214 "And of course that"s our goal in life," Jessie murmured, keeping her voice low, "to get wet."
Both women stood and went to the bank of the creek. They did get wet, something that thrilled the little girls, but eventually they went back to the blanket to eat. Jessie had fixed a great supper of chicken, fluffy biscuits, two salads, and cookies. A jug of water helped to wash it all down.
Sabrina eventually lay back, saying she was going to pop. "I think if I"m not careful, I could fall asleep right here," she added.
"Wouldn"t you be surprised come Monday morning?"
"Speaking of Monday," Sabrina remembered, "will it put you in a bind if I"m a little late? I want to ask around for an apartment or a room to rent."
"No, that"s fine. Take the whole morning," Jessie added, wanting her to live in a safer part of town.
"Thank you."
"Where will you start?"
"Where should I start?"
Jessie had a few suggestions, with absolutely no idea if anyone wanted to rent a room, but that"s what filled the conversation for the next hour. By the time Sabrina took herself back to Jeanette"s, she knew almost every house in town.
"I thought Sabrina would be here," Rylan said to Jessie on Monday morning.
"She"ll be here at noon," that lady had answered. "She"s looking for an apartment."
That conversation had taken place some 15 minutes past, but Rylan had yet to spot the woman in question. He walked the streets he thought she might try and tried to remember who rented rooms in their homes. He was about to give up when he spotted her. She had just come from a two-story house, walking slowly. Rylan"s long 215 legs covered the distance swiftly, but he was still just ten feet from her when she spotted him.
"h.e.l.lo," Sabrina said.
"How"s the search coming?"
"Not great," Sabrina said, not mentioning that the man in the house she had just left was willing to rent to her, but he had no wife.
"Have you tried Alder Street?"
"I don"t think so."
"Here, come this way," Rylan directed, but Sabrina came slowly.
"You"re rescuing me again, aren"t you?"
Rylan stopped and looked at her before asking, "Would that be so bad?"
"I can"t get used to it."
"Why not?"
"I"m all wrong for you," she made herself say, truly believing it. "It"s too soon to know that."
Sabrina didn"t know what to say. He was not being cagey or obtuse, and Sabrina didn"t know what to do with such a forthright att.i.tude. She was on the verge of asking why he hadn"t rejected her when he spoke again.
"I think we need a third party," Rylan said. "Someone to ask us questions about what we"re thinking."
Sabrina looked thoughtful but didn"t speak.
"I am mainly accountable to Chas. Would you object to our meeting with him?"
"I don"t think so. Does he know about me?"
"Yes."
"Does Miranda?"
"He hasn"t asked me if he can share with her, so I"m sure not." Sabrina was silent so long that Rylan had a chance to figure it out.
"Would it be very hard if Miranda knew?"
216 "Women react differently, Rylan. They can"t always cope."
"I"m sure you"ve experienced some awful rejections, but I can tell you that if Miranda Vick ever learns of your plight, all she"ll do is cry with compa.s.sion."
Sabrina"s eyes got a little big. Never had anyone called it a plight.
"You can think about it and let me know," Rylan said.
Sabrina could only nod. Every conversation she had with this man seemed to amaze her. At some point she was going to have to keep her head long enough to remember and have her questions answered.
Sabrina walked slowly away from Jessie"s on Monday evening, trying not to be discouraged. She had not found a place to live, and for the rest of the day she"d been confused about her conversation with Rylan. She wondered if it would do any good to talk to Jeanette about it. But even as the thought formed, she wondered what she would ask the woman.
Sabrina was still working it out, many questions running through her mind, when she spotted a man who looked like Zeke. She stopped and watched him until he disappeared into the Boar"s Head Saloon. Not rushing, and working to think clearly about what she was doing, she went to the saloon. The door was open, and she stepped inside, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the darkness.
"h.e.l.lo, Bri," Bret was next to her before she could find her bearings. "Come on in."
"Did Zeke Masters just come in?"
"I don"t think so," Bret said, his voice growing cool. "Don"t tell me you prefer Zeke"s company to my own."
Sabrina"s eyes, which had been scanning the room, swung to the saloon owner.
217 "You can"t be serious," she said, her eyes going back to the room. She frowned when she spotted Deputy Varner in one corner and asked about him.
"Sure." Bret was offhanded about it. "He"s in all the time." Sabrina stared at him until he looked up and saw her. "Have a drink," Bret tried next, but Sabrina shook her head. "Thanks, but I"ll be going."
"Bri," Bret called, having just caught on. "Did Zeke hit you?"
The nod Sabrina gave him was brief, and without further word she slipped back out the door. Bret went to the walk to watch her walk away, but she never turned back or noticed.
"I"ve been meaning to ask you a question," Sabrina said after she and Jeanette got to work on Wednesday. "Did you grow up here?" "No. Theta and I are from Allentown, Pennsylvania." "How did you come to Token Creek?"
"I met Owen Fulbright. He already lived here, owned the bank, and was building our home. It was hard to leave my family, but I was in love. I still am."
Sabrina smiled at her and then said the next thing that was on her mind. "I can"t find a place to live. I"ve checked all over, but the safe places are all taken right now."
"Well," Jeanette said, still bent over the machine, "I think you should stay with me until something safe opens up. We like having you, and I think it might be sooner than you think. Who knows, maybe even the apartment upstairs will open. When I rented it to the man who"s up there, he wasn"t sure how long he would be in town. I took him because I thought even a few months" rent was better than letting it sit empty."
"Why doesn"t it bother you that I stay at your house and eat your food?"
"Oh mercy, Bri," Jeanette said with quiet conviction. "All that 218 G.o.d has given me, and I can"t share with others? That would be sad indeed."
Sabrina hadn"t looked at it that way. It was a hard house to see, but maybe she needed to move past Sybil"s memory and see it as the home of a generous, G.o.dly woman.
"What does that thoughtful face mean?" Jeanette asked.
"I"m just thinking about how much growing up I have to do." "Don"t we all."
"Not you, Jeanette," Sabrina protested.
"Even me, dear. I"ve been wanting my own way lately, and G.o.d has had to remind me I"m not in charge."
Sabrina smiled at her. Jeanette smiled back. Sabrina decided to see the house differently from that moment on.
219.
"What are you doing here?"
"That"s what I came to ask you, Sybil. This house? Is it his?" "Yes, and you have to leave."
"Why? You didn"t tell him you have family? You didn"t tell him you have a sister?"
"He knows about you, but he also knows what you do." "What I do? What about you?"