""Ave you ever played Kiss-in-the-ring, or Postman"s-knock, sir?" enquired Bindle of Mr. Sopley, at a moment when all attempts at conversation seemed to have languished.
Mr. Sopley raised his eyes, and Mr. Hearty moved swiftly to his a.s.sistance. At that moment the door opened and a fair-haired young man, wearing the turndown collar and white tie of nonconformity, entered. For a moment Mr. Hearty hesitated between his desire to save Mr. Sopley and his duties as host, then with sudden decision threw his pastor overboard, and turned to welcome the new arrival.
At the Alton Road Chapel a week"s mission had been held by a young missionary, whose remarkable preaching had been the sensation of the hour. Mr. Hearty had summoned up sufficient courage to invite him to the party, and the Rev. Edward Winch had accepted with a cordiality which still further increased Mr. Hearty"s embarra.s.sment.
When the ceremony of introduction and greeting was over, Mr. Winch seated himself between Mr. Sopley and Bindle, who had been much interested to hear that the new arrival was a missionary.
"Do yer live in the jungle, sir?" enquired Bindle of Mr. Winch.
"Well, I live in the interior, miles away from any other white men," replied Mr. Winch. "Why do you ask?"
Bindle was thoughtful for a moment.
"Did yer "appen to take a double-bed with yer, sir?" enquired Bindle.
"A double-bed?" Mr. Winch looked surprised. "Why, no."
Mr. Hearty coughed, Mr. Sopley lifted his eyes to the ceiling as if seeking explanation from heaven. Mrs. Hearty wheezed, and Mrs. Bindle"s lips entirely disappeared. Bindle looked round at the embarra.s.sed faces.
"I only knew one missionary," he remarked, "an" "e wanted to take a double-bed into the jungle. Seemed a bit funny like--"
"You must have some lemonade," interrupted Mr. Hearty with forced geniality.
Mr. Winch smilingly declined, then turning to Bindle, he said:
"No, I have a camp-bedstead, which does not err on the side of luxury or comfort."
Bindle liked this young man with the blue eyes and ready laugh. After watching him for some time, he remarked:
"Yer seem sort of "appy, sir, if I may say so."
"I am," replied Mr. Winch with a smile.
"Funny," murmured Bindle, half to himself, "an" you a parson, leastwise a missionary."
"But what has that got to do with it?" Mr. Winch looked at Bindle in surprise.
Bindle cast his eyes round the room. "They don"t look wot yer"d call a jolly crowd, do they? Look at ole Woe an" Whiskers." Bindle"s glance left no doubt in Mr. Winch"s mind as to whom he referred.
The missionary bit his lip to hide a smile.
"Mr. Sopley has had a lot of trouble," he said quietly.
"It seems to "ave gone to "is face," was Bindle"s comment. ""E might be a bigamist from the look of "im."
Mr. Winch laughed aloud. "Why?" he asked.
"You married?" enquired Bindle.
"No."
"Yer"ll know when yer are," was the laconic reply.
The arrival of Mr. Winch seemed to transform the whole a.s.sembly. He and Bindle quickly became the leaders of the revels. Faces that had hitherto been shrouded in gloom broke into slow and hesitant smiles. Several of the men laughed, arguing that if so devout a man as Mr. Winch could find it in him to laugh, as he very frequently did, then surely they, being merely laymen, might allow themselves the same privilege.
It was Mr. Winch who proposed "Blind Man"s Buff," and it was Bindle who when blindfolded caught Mr. Sopley, who was not playing, and after feeling all over his be-whiskered face guessed him as Millie; and it was Mr. Winch who laughed so loudly that the others joined in.
Later, at Mr. Winch"s suggestion, Bindle led a game of "Follow my Leader," in which Mr. Sopley had been persuaded to join, and only Mrs. Hearty remained sitting out. Bindle"s imagination ran riot, and he led his unwilling tail into many grotesque pranks. He crawled about on all fours, barked like a dog, mewed like a cat, jumped and howled, laughed and sang. In everything he was faithfully followed by Mr. Winch, who seemed to enjoy himself with a thoroughness that astonished his fellow-guests.
The riot culminated in Bindle kissing Millie, who was next to him. Mr. Winch, who was third in the living tail, left no doubt in Millie"s mind that she was intended to pa.s.s on the compliment. Bindle watched with keen enjoyment the embarra.s.sment of his victims, in particular that of Mrs. Bindle, who was next to Mr. Sopley, as she looked up enquiringly at the pastor, who bent his head towards her with a weary smile.
"Look at my missis a-burrowin" in all them whiskers," whispered Bindle to Mr. Winch.
Other games followed, and even Mr. Hearty"s face lost that anxious, haunted look that it had worn during the earlier part of the evening. When Millie, Bindle, and Mr. Winch handed round the refreshments everybody took something, and Mr. Hearty beamed. He became quite conversational. His party was a success. His heart warmed towards Mr. Winch and Bindle, and-he cut the pineapple.
At supper tongues became loosed, and everyone found that there was more joy in the world than he or she had thought possible. Mr. Sopley"s grace had cast a momentary gloom over the table; but this quickly pa.s.sed away. After the meal Mr. Winch said "a few words," and told of some native customs at similar gatherings, keeping his hearers in a constant t.i.tter. It was he who suggested that Bindle, whom he described as "our merry master-of-the-ceremonies," should propose a vote of thanks to their host.
As Bindle rose with obvious satisfaction, Mr. Hearty caught Mrs. Bindle"s eye, and each knew what were the other"s thoughts.
"Ladies an" gentlemen," began Bindle with all the a.s.surance of an inveterate after-dinner speaker, "I seen some funny things in me time, includin" a stuffed kangaroo, an" a temperance meetin" where they was as drunk as dooks; but I never yet see a missionary as could laugh and enjoy "isself as Mr. Winch can."
There were looks of consternation on the faces of some of the guests which Mr. Winch"s hearty laugh quickly caused to vanish.
"I almost wish I was one of them funny beggars wot wear only a smile o" week-days, an" add a bead for Sundays."
Mr. Hearty coughed and Mr. Sopley gazed up at the ceiling. Mrs. Bindle had shown no sign of lips since Bindle had risen.
"I never liked missionaries till to-night, though me an" Mrs. Bindle "ave slep" in a missionary"s bed for five year or more. It never made no difference to me, though. If I wasn"t in the furniture movin" business I think I"d be a missionary.
"But I"m up on my "ind legs to propose the "ealth of "Earty, Alfred "Earty, who"s a credit to the vegetables "e sells for more"n they"re worth. "E"s a bit solemn-like at times, but "e"s got as good a "eart as "is own cabbages. I known "Earty since "e was a young man, and me an" "im was arter the same gal once. She"s sittin" over there." Bindle indicated Mrs. Bindle with a jerk of his thumb. Mrs. Bindle and Mr. Hearty grew very red, and Mrs. Hearty wheezed painfully. "I won, though; "Earty warn"t nippy enough. "E could sing "ymns an" I couldn"t; but yer don"t get round gals with "ymns, leastways not young gals. So "Earty lost one gal an" got another, one of the best." Bindle pointed to Mrs. Hearty.
"We"ve all "ad a pleasant evenin", thanks to Mr. Winch an "Earty"s lemonade; an" if some of us gets a jar by goin" to the wrong place when we turns up our toes, I don"t mind bettin" a quid it won"t be Mr. Winch. "E may be a missionary, but "e"s one o" the bhoys."
With that Bindle sat down. For a moment there was a hush of consternation, but Mr. Winch came to the rescue with a "Thank you, Mr. Bindle, I hope you"re right."
After that everyone applauded and "Auld Lang Syne" was sung and the company dispersed, conscious that they had enjoyed themselves as they had never thought it possible. They were aware of a feeling that seemed to be perilously near the mammon of unrighteousness; but they argued that no blame could attach itself to the flock for doing what the shepherd acquiesced in.
Mr. Hearty was astonished at the cordiality of the good-nights extended to Bindle; but when Mr. Sopley said that he hoped to see him at the Chapel Bazaar to be held a fortnight hence, he was amazed.
He was even more astonished when he heard himself saying, as he shook Bindle warmly by the hand, "Thank you, Joseph, for-for--" And then he lapsed into silence, wondering what it really was for which he was thankful.
That night Mrs. Bindle had much food for thought. She had heard Mr. Sopley"s invitation.
CHAPTER XV
BINDLE AND THE GERMAN MENACE