There was a silence after this. Miss Paget resumed her work with rapid fingers. She was picking up shining little beads one by one on the point of her needle, and transferring them to the canvas stretched upon an embroidery frame before her. It was a kind of work exacting extreme care and precision, and the girl"s hand never faltered, though a tempest of pa.s.sionate feeling agitated her as she worked.
"I am very sorry not to see her," Valentine said presently, "for the sight of her is very dear to me. Why should I try to hide my feelings from you, Diana? We have endured so much misery together that there must be some bond of union between us. To me you have always seemed like a sister, and I have no wish to keep any secret from you, though you receive me so coldly that one would think I had offended you."
"You have not offended me. I thank you for being so frank with me. You would have gained little by an opposite course. I have long known your affection for Charlotte."
"You guessed my secret?"
"I saw what any one could have seen who had taken the trouble to watch you for ten minutes during your visits to this house."
"Was my unhappy state so very conspicuous?" exclaimed Valentine, laughing. "Was I so obviously spoony? _I_ who have so ridiculed anything in the way of sentiment. You make me blush for my folly, Diana. What is that you are dotting with all those beads?--something very elaborate."
"It is a prie-dieu chair I am working for Mrs. Sheldon. Of course I am bound to do something for my living."
"And so you wear out your eyesight in the working of chairs. Poor girl!
it seems hard that your beauty and accomplishments should not find a better market than that. I daresay you will marry some millionaire friend of Mr. Sheldon"s one of these days, and I shall hear of your house in Park-lane and three-hundred guinea barouche."
"You are very kind to promise me a millionaire. The circ.u.mstances of my existence hitherto have been so peculiarly fortunate that I am justified in expecting such a suitor. My millionaire shall ask you to dinner at my house in Park-lane; and you shall play _ecarte_ with him, if you like--papa"s kind of _ecarte_."
"Don"t talk of those things, Di," said Mr. Hawkehurst, with something that was almost a shudder; "let us forget that we ever led that kind of life."
"Yes," replied Diana, "let us forget it--if we can."
The bitterness of her tone struck him painfully. He sat for some minutes watching her silently, and pitying her fate. What a sad fate it seemed, and how hopeless! For him there was always some chance of redemption. He could go out into the world, and cut his way through the forest of difficulty with the axe of the conqueror. But what could a woman do who found herself in the midst of that dismal forest? She could only sit at the door of her lonesome hut, looking out with weary eyes for the prince who was to come and rescue her. And Valentine remembered how many women there are to whom the prince never comes, and who must needs die and be buried beneath that gloomy umbrage.
"O! let us have women doctors, women lawyers, women parsons, women stone-breakers--anything rather than these dependent creatures who sit in other people"s houses working prie-dieu chairs and pining for freedom," he thought to himself, as he watched the pale stern face in the chill afternoon light.
"Do leave off working for a few minutes, and talk to me, Di," he said rather impatiently. "You don"t know how painful it is to a man to see a woman absorbed in some piece of needlework at the very moment when he wants all her sympathy. I am afraid you are not quite happy. Do confide in me, dear, as frankly as I confide in you. Are these people kind to you? Charlotte is, of course. But the elder birds, Mr. and Mrs.
Sheldon, are they kind?" "They are very kind. Mr. Sheldon is not a demonstrative man, as you know; but I am not accustomed to have people in a rapturous state of mind about me and my affairs. He is kinder to me than my father ever was; and I don"t see how I can expect more than that. Mrs. Sheldon is extremely kind in her way--which is rather a feeble way, as you know."
"And Charlotte--?"
"You answered for Charlotte yourself just now. Yes, she is very, very, very good to me; much better than I deserve. I was almost going to quote the collect, and say "desire or deserve.""
"Why should you not desire or deserve her goodness?" asked Valentine.
"Because I am not a loveable kind of person. I am not sympathetic. I know that Charlotte is very fascinating, very charming; but sometimes her very fascination repels me. I think the atmosphere of that horrible swampy district between Lambeth and Battersea, where my childhood was spent, must have soured my disposition."
"No, Diana; you have only learnt a bitter way of talking. I know your heart is n.o.ble and true. I have seen your suppressed indignation many a time when your father"s meannesses have revolted you. Our lives have been very hard, dear; but let us hope for brighter days. I think they must come to us."
"They will never come to me," said Diana.
"You say that with an air of conviction. But why should they not come to you--brighter and better days?"
"I cannot tell you that. I can only tell you that they will not come.
And do you hope that any good will ever come of your love for Charlotte Halliday--you, who know Mr. Sheldon?"
"I am ready to hope anything."
"You think that Mr. Sheldon would let his stepdaughter marry a penniless man?"
"I may not always be penniless. Besides, Mr. Sheldon has no actual authority over Charlotte."
"But he has moral influence over her. She is very easily influenced."
"I am ready to hope even in spite of Mr. Sheldon"s opposing influence.
You must not try to crush this one little floweret that has grown up in a barren waste, Diana. It is my prison-flower."
Mrs. Sheldon came into the room as he said this. She was very cordial, very eloquent upon the subject of her headache, and very much inclined to go to the theatre, notwithstanding that ailment, when she heard that Mr. Hawkehurst had been kind enough to bring her a box.
"Diana and I could go," she said, "if we can manage to be in time after our six o"clock dinner. Mr. Sheldon does not care about theatres. All the pieces tire him. He declares they are all stupid. But then, you see, if one"s mind is continually wandering, the cleverest piece must seem stupid," Mrs. Sheldon added thoughtfully; "and my husband is so very absent-minded."
After some further discussion about the theatres, Valentine bade the ladies good afternoon.
"Won"t you stop to see Mr. Sheldon?" asked Georgina; "he"s in the library with Captain Paget. You did not know that your papa was here, did you, Diana, my dear? He came in with Mr. Sheldon an hour ago."
"I won"t disturb Mr. Sheldon," said Valentine. "I will call again in a few days."
He took leave of the two ladies, and went out into the hall. As he emerged from the drawing-room, the door of the library was opened, and he heard Philip Sheldon"s voice within, saying,--
"--your accuracy with regard to the name of Meynell."
It was the close of a sentence; but the name struck immediately upon Valentine"s ear. Meynell!--the name which had for him so peculiar an interest.
"Is it only a coincidence," he thought to himself, "or is Horatio Paget on our track?"
And then he argued with himself that his ears might have deceived him, and that the name he had heard might not have been Meynell, but only a name of somewhat similar sound.
It was Captain Paget who had opened the door. He came into the hall and recognised his _protege_. They left the house together, and the Captain was especially gracious.
"We will dine together somewhere at the West-end, Val," he said; but, to his surprise, Mr. Hawkehurst declined the proffered entertainment.
"I"m tired out with a hard day"s work," he said, "and should be very bad company; so, if you"ll excuse me, I"ll go back to Omega-street and get a chop."
The Captain stared at him in amazement. He could not comprehend the man who could refuse to dine luxuriously at the expense of his fellow-man.
Valentine had of late acquired new prejudices. He no longer cared to enjoy the hospitality of Horatio Paget. In Omega-street the household expenses were shared by the two men. It was a kind of club upon a small scale; and there was no degradation in breaking bread with the elegant Horatio.
To Omega-street Valentine returned this afternoon, there to eat a frugal meal and spend a meditative evening, uncheered by one glimmer of that radiance which more fortunate men know as the light of home.
CHAPTER II.
VALENTINE"S RECORD CONTINUED.
_October 15th_. I left Omega-street for the City before noon, after a hasty breakfast with my friend Horatio, who was somewhat under the dominion of his black dog this morning, and far from pleasant company.