She didnt like the sound of indifference in his tone. Hi. Angel forced a smile on her face, willing herself to act as if there was nothing wrong. You look tired, she added, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. Tonight you can have the guest bedroom.
His expression turned into a frown. I thought I told you"
You wont be taking the bed away from me. I just got a call from the termite people. I can go home now. When did I decide to go home? Theres no need for both of us to be here for Barnie.
No, but I just got a call that our furlough might be cut short. We were told to remain on standby, which means we can be called away at any time now.
Angels jaw dropped. Oh, G.o.d! Her eyes were burning, which meant tears were on the way. Bishop couldnt see her reaction, but she couldnt help it. When she raised her cup to her lips it didnt surprise her to see her hand trembling. She chomped down on her bottom lip.
Angel c.r.a.p! He must have noticed it, too. She remained silent, slowly meeting his gaze, painfully aware of the tears that were swimming in her eyes.
Can we talk?
Not what she expected. About what? Your actions speak louder than words.
He stiffened. Care to explain that?
She took a deep breath Something changed yesterday at the cookout. Since then youve gone out of your way to avoid me. I finally figured it out. She gave Bishop a watery smile.
What did you figure out?
That you got what you wanted, and now youre done with me. There, shed said it. Let him deny it. It was the only explanation she could think of.
The blue in Bishops eyes became so dark they looked like gla.s.sy sapphires, and they appeared just as sharp. As his expression grew taut and darkened, a tic appeared in his lean jaw and Angel lowered her gaze nervously. She realized instantly that she might have gone too far, and chalked up her runaway tongue to being hurt. He had to know she was confused over his sudden distance.
Do you really believe s.e.x is all I wanted from you? The words were spoken between his teeth.
Shrugging, Angel reluctantly raised her gaze, meeting the fury in his and not backing down. What am I supposed to think, Bishop? I thought things were good between us, that we had a connection. Then yesterday it was like a switch being flipped off, and Im left feeling like its something I did"
No, he walked forward and sat down on the stone bench in front of the pond.
You cant kiss and f.u.c.k me one minute, and then turn all cold and distant the next. Unless youre a totally heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Angel could tell he didnt like what shed said.
Its nothing you did, Angel. And I owe you an explanation. His legs parted and he leaned forward, clasped hands dangling between them. You know what kind of life I lead. When I joined the SEALS I promised myself that nothing and no one would get in the way of my being the best I could be, and there was only one way I thought I could accomplish that.
How?
By not putting myself in a position where I cared for someone else. Ive seen what it does to men in battle when their minds arent on what theyre doing, but on someone back home, on a situation, or theyre worried about leaving a widow and children behind. They make mistakes, and sometimes it costs them their lives.
Diana had told Angel something similar, but she couldnt accept hearing it from Bishop. Thats life, Bishop. Do you honestly think you can control your emotions like that? Is it your intention to spend the rest of your life alone?
He looked at her long and hard, and then exhaled deeply. I used to think so.
Used to? Angel was starting to feel hope. She had to know. So what happened?
Youre what happened. His voice was hard and laced with self-loathing. Just for a moment I reached out and took what I really wanted. I was selfish, Angel. I should never have touched you that first morning.
I wanted it, too, Bishop. Ive wanted you for a long time. Do you think you dont deserve what everyone else has? He didnt answer her. Angel shook her head with disbelief. You cant plan your life that way.
Look, he scooted to the end of the bench, which put him in closer proximity to her. Yesterday I realized I needed to back off a little. Youre nothing like the kind of women Im used to, the kind I dont think twice about when I leave them. The kind who dont give me a second thought when I leave them. But you" he hesitated as though searching for the right words, Christ, its only been a few days and Im already too involved with you. I know that now.
So what does that mean? His explanation angered Angel, so much so that she began to tremble. How could he live like that? How could anyone? And where did he get such an idea? For the first time in her life she wanted to hit someone. The thought frightened her. This time, when tears gathered in her eyes, they were from angry frustration.
Then my leaving shouldnt be a problem. She worked her way as gracefully as she could from the hammock swing. Ill leave you my number. When you get the call just leave a message and Ill come back over to check on Barnie.
Angel, you dont have to leave.
Arent you afraid Ill be a temptation or something? She was proud of herself for remaining composed. She couldnt afford to break down in front of him, not totally. There would be time for that when she got home and was alone.
Bishop didnt respond to her question, but the muscle working in his jaw said it all. He didnt try to stop her when she walked past him to go back inside. When she opened the kitchen door, Barnie tried to dart out and Angel bent to catch him. She didnt realize Bishop was right behind her, and the next thing she knew his hands were at her hips to keep from knocking her down when his body crashed into her.
Oh! She straightened and stepped away from him as if his touch burned her.
Sorry. He closed the door behind him.
Angel set Barnie on the floor and kept going toward the stairs. The sooner she got out of there the better. She rushed up the stairs and headed straight for her overnight bag. With every item she slammed inside, her anger grew another notch. At the same time tears ran down her cheeks. Its not as if were in a relationship or anything. Why am I so d.a.m.ned emotional?
Angel knew why. Because Bishops reasoning didnt make any sense to her. They had something, and they could have even more. Thinking he could go through life as a loner, without meaningful relationships, was insane. He was cheating himself. Mumbling angrily beneath her breath, she looked around to make sure she hadnt missed anything. Then, she zipped up her bag, grabbed it, and left the bedroom.
She was halfway down the stairs when she noticed Bishop standing at the bottom. Angel wasnt going to fool herself into thinking he was there to stop her. She hesitated halfway down, then took a breath and continued. It was all she could do not to hit him out of anger as she stormed past him. Halfway to the front door she stopped, dropped her bag, and swung around.
You know what, Bishop? She waited for him to turn her way. Their gazes met. You fight for your country, but you wont fight for yourself. If youre not willing to take a chance, maybe you dont deserve what other people have.
His jaw tensed. I dont want to hurt you, Angel.
You cant have it both ways, she said angrily. Emotions have a sneaky way of attaching themselves to physical situations between people after a while, unless youre a machine. Maybe you should go back to your bimbos!
Angel"
Don worry about me, Bishop. Its been a nice few days, and you certainly took care of the itch I had. At that, his expression turned dark, his lips thinned. It was clear he didnt like her making light of their time together, yet he remained stubbornly silent.
She wanted to say something to hurt him, the way that she was hurting, anything that would get a reaction out of him other than stony silence. If theyd been in her home she would be picking up things and throwing them at him right now. d.a.m.n him! Why is he in such control when Im torn up inside? It wasnt fair! But then Angel realized she couldnt. She didnt want to hurt him, especially if this was the last time theyd see each other. Not when every a.s.signment he went on could be his last.
Knowing that took all the fire right out of her. Stay safe, Bishop. Maybe well see each other again someday.
With a quivering bottom lip Angel picked up her bag and swung around. She slammed the front door behind her, got into her car, and drove home.
Chapter 9.
Three days later Angel said goodbye to Diana and hung up the phone with a smile, in spite of her churning emotions. So, Bishop is still here. Other than going on and on about her surprise and happiness at seeing her brother again, nothing more was said about him. Angel had to wonder if it was because hed told Diana about them, or if he hadnt said anything at all. Most likely that was the case. She doubted Diana would be accepting of Bishops decision to just cut Angel out of his life based on his reasoning.
Sighing, Angel pulled the towel from her almost dry hair. Diana had caught her just as shed stepped out of her shower. Pesky Pests had said the gas theyd used to kill the termites didnt leave a residue but shed still spent the last three days cleaning, from morning till night. Beginning with her bedroom and kitchen, shed done one room at a time. She was beyond exhausted, but happy at the progress she was making. The problem was when she went to bed and closed her eyes.
Her dreams were of Bishop. So hot and s.e.xually graphic that shed wake during the night, h.o.r.n.y and drenched in sweat, yearning for his mouth and hands on her, fueling while feeding the hunger of her body and soul. d.a.m.n him! I should hate him for what hes done. How could he just decide to give his country everything of himself? But Angel knew the answer to that. Didnt they all make certain decisions in their lives for the greater good?
Angel shook the thought of him out of her head and went to the kitchen for her usual gla.s.s of wine before bed. While she was there she would make sure she had the ingredients she needed for quiche. Diana would be disappointed if Angel had lured her over for the quiche that she loved, and replaced it with something else.
Dianas call had been the first one shed received since being home. Theyd had a wonderful cruise, her friend had said, taking a few minutes to tell her all about the places theyd seen in Europe. The Vatican and the leaning tower of Pisa were her favorites. Shed invited Angel over for lunch the next day in order to show her pictures. Thinking of Bishop, Angel had managed to bribe Diana to come to her place for home-made quiche instead. It wasnt that she didnt want to see Bishop, she wanted it too much, and she didnt think she could take the hurt of seeing him again.
Glancing out the kitchen window as she poured her wine, Angel noticed the bright, full moon peeking through the tree tops. The sky looked like black velvet, dotted with tiny stars that blinked at her from above. Deciding to have her wine out on the porch, she opened the screen door and stepped down. She was so glad shed had the porch screened in when she first bought the house. She enjoyed sitting outside in the evenings, especially after a long day at work. It was her downtime.
She sank down onto the old rocker and brought her knees up against her chest. Her small house was located on the main road leading into town, but even then only an occasional vehicle pa.s.sed by. Once in a while the driver would flash their lights or honk their horn as they went past, telling Angel that it was someone she knew. It was their way of saying h.e.l.lo. Shed grown up in the small town of China, Maine and couldnt think of living anywhere else.
As she brought her wine gla.s.s up to her lips a vehicle slowed down and turned into her circular driveway. For a split second the lights landed on her, and she blinked against the brightness shining in her eyes. Who the heck is stopping at this time of night? It occurred to her that it might be Diana with her vacation pictures. It wouldnt be the first time her enthusiasm had gotten the best of her. She smiled, recognizing her friends truck.
Couldnt wait till tomorrow to show me your pictures? Angel teased the second Diana opened her door. But the smile quickly faded from her face when the dome light revealed it wasnt Diana exiting the vehicle. It was Bishop.
Her heart did a flip, and she forced herself to take several calming breaths. Whats he doing here? Angel wanted more than anything to look at his presence as a good sign, but she refused to jump to any conclusions. She watched his tall, muscular form walk toward the porch steps. He paused before opening the door.
Hi, he said, making eye contact with her.
Hi. I wasnt expecting to see you again.
Do you mind if I come in?
Not at all, she said, proud of the calm in her voice. G.o.d, he looked good! Her gaze ate up the tee-shirt that was stretched across his chest, and the old tight jeans that hugged his lower body. Why are you driving Dianas truck?
She parked behind mine, and I didnt want to take the time to move vehicles. Angel nodded. You forgot to leave me your phone number. He leaned his b.u.t.t on the edge of the brick wall that ran halfway down to the porch floor.
Oh, she had. Im sorry.
And I couldnt look you up in the phone book because it occurred to me that I didnt know your last name. He sounded frustrated, crossing his ankles and his arms.
Hed tried to find her? For some reason that amused Angel. Its Smyth. She finished her wine and set the gla.s.s down on the floor.
I dont need it now.
Something in Bishops tone changed. The dim glow of the porch light allowed Angel to clearly see his expression and the hard glitter of his eyes. His gaze ran over her, reminding her that she was dressed for bed. All she had on was a pair of lacy black panties, and a short nightshirt. Well, hed seen her in a lot less. That knowledge, and the sudden awareness exploding through her, made her feel like a volcano getting ready to erupt. It wasnt fair that he was doing this to her.
So, what do you need, Bishop?
The question hung in the air between them for several long seconds. Just when Angel thought she couldnt take much more of his silent stare he surprised her by saying, You, I need you.
She caught her breath at the timbre of emotion in his tone, unable to break eye contact with him. He needs me, what does that mean? I didnt think you needed anyone. Or have you decided to quit the SEALS? The slightest grin appeared on his sensual lips, and Angel realized she wanted to chew on them.
You dont just quit, he explained with amus.e.m.e.nt. Maybe need isnt the right word. But you gave me something to think about over the last few days. Ive decided that youre right. I made a commitment ten years ago. It was a good decision at the time. But that was then, and this is now.
Angel was elated inside. And? She held her breath, sure there was more.
Do you remember what I said to you that first morning? When I woke up and thought you were an angel? Angel nodded. You are an angel, Angel. Youre my angel. I didnt realize I was looking for salvation until I touched you, and thats when I began to feel human and alive again. The images of death and horror that were stamped on my mind began to fade into a bearable haze.
I cant imagine what youve gone through, she said softly.
I want you, Angel, Bishop said in a more serious tone. I dont know where this is going. I dont know how long it will last. I only know that if I were called away right now, youre going to be the upper most thing on my mind whether I want you to be or not. Somehow youve managed to break through the wall around my soul, and youve shown me there can be more to life than giving everything to my country.
He wants me? That was all Angel was able to focus on at the moment, and that he wanted a relationship with her. She hadnt been expecting that declaration. Deep down she was elated, because she knew they had something real and special together. Only she decided to keep her emotions in check until he backed up his comment with action.
Everyone deserves the best they can get in life, Bishop. As a protector of our country, I cant think of a more deserving man. She picked up her empty gla.s.s and got to her feet. Would you like a gla.s.s of wine? We can celebrate. Their gazes locked and held as she waited for his answer.
Angel wanted more than a gla.s.s of wine to celebrate. Seeing Bishop again made her hot for him. What will it take for him to reach out and take what he wants? What we both want? His caution made her smile inside. Is he worried Ill push him away? Fat chance!
Sure.
There was obvious uncertainty in Bishops tone, which only amused Angel more. Is red wine okay? She was very aware he had followed her inside and was close behind her.
Sounds good.
With a little smile she opened a cupboard and reached for a wine gla.s.s. Keeping her back to him, she poured a generous amount of wine into his gla.s.s and swung around to hand it to him. A little gasp escaped her. Bishop was closer than she thought. She raised her gaze to his, smiling nervously. There was no denying the flare of arousal in the pupils of his dark eyes. He accepted the gla.s.s from her, and without breaking eye contact, took a sip.
Angel lowered her gaze first, watching his sensual mouth take in the deep scarlet liquid. When he was done a small drop of moisture remained on his bottom lip. Unable to resist, she reached up and gathered the liquid on her fingertip and brought it to her mouth. I dont like waste. His nostrils flared when she closed her lips over her finger. Without warning, Angel found her wrist being grabbed.
Are you playing with me? His eyes narrowed down at her.
Why would I do that? Im an angel, she reminded him teasingly.
Bishop only stared at her, as though trying to figure her out. Then his gaze traveled down the front of her body, and back up again. Angel knew the light in the kitchen afforded him an intimate glance through the thin material of her shirt. The tingling sensation in her nipples told her they were hardening. The warm flow of growing arousal in her lower region left her panties very wet.
She sensed his grip on control was slipping fast. She was vaguely aware of it when he set his gla.s.s of wine down, and then his hand was slipping around the back of her neck while the other continued to hold her wrist. He gave her a gentle tug to pull her closer.
Angel resisted, smiling. Her little move clearly didnt amuse Bishop. The fierce desire in his eyes excited her, and even frightened her a little. The next thing she knew, he was pushing her up against the fridge and taking what he wanted.
This is the Bishop I want! Angel thought to herself, eagerly bending to his will. The alpha male a.s.serting his strength and dominance over me in unrestrained pa.s.sion. A blast of fireworks erupted inside her body, exploding in all directions so that there wasnt a part of her not feeling his rough possession. He didnt have to force her mouth open to his searching tongue, she willingly invited him inside. His kiss was a deep blending of two souls seeking the same complex emotions.
Oh, Bishop! Angel cried out, when his mouth moved on to kiss and nibble on her throat. Ive missed you.
I missed you, too, honey.
She arched her lower body into his, relishing in the feel of his hard c.o.c.k. Undulating her hips produced a rolling shudder through Bishop, and a growl of pleasure followed. He responded by grinding his erection into her. Then, before she could guess his intentions, he pulled her nightshirt open and feasted on her quivering b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He moved back and forth between them, loving them equally until they were swollen and aching. Using his tongue, he licked her nipples into painful, tingling kernels.
Angel cried out with intense pleasure when he suddenly took a nipple between his teeth and gently savaged it. A lightning bolt of sharp arousal shot down to her loins, soaking the lace covering her p.u.s.s.y. As he continued to lavish attention to her swelling flesh she reached down and caressed his c.o.c.k over his jeans, and she wasnt gentle. From the sounds he emitted, she couldnt decide whether she was hurting him or giving him pleasure. But what she did know was that he wasnt pushing her away.
Aaaaah, f.u.c.k, Angel! he rasped in a guttural tone. Im going to come before I get inside your p.u.s.s.y if you keep that up.
You better not! She blindly unsnapped his jeans and then pulled the zipper down. I want you inside me when you come, Bishop. She reached inside his boxers for his hot, pulsing flesh, pulling his d.i.c.k out and glancing down at it. His knees buckled slightly before he quickly caught himself. Their gazes met, and Angel leaned in until her lips brushed against his. I want your c.u.m inside me.
The c.o.c.k in her hand twitched strongly. She felt the pre-c.u.m dripping at the head and used it as a lubricant, running her hand along his hard, veined length. His breath was harsh and uneven. Her words seemed to unravel Bishop, because suddenly and without warning, she was spun around and pushed up against the kitchen island. A hand at the back of her neck forced her down, and she felt his body bend over hers.
I have to have you now, baby, he said harshly against her ear.
Liquid excitement dripped down Angels thighs when she realized Bishop was going to take her from behind. Yes! she hissed, panting. f.u.c.k me, Bishop. I need you! She was squirming with arousal, impatient for him to penetrate her. She could feel his hot, probing flesh against her b.u.t.t crack, her panties preventing a more intimate connection.