When Xuan Tianyi woke up, he found himself nestled against Hua Zhendan"s chest. Hua Zhendan"s breath and heartbeat were in perfect sync, creating a rhythm that made his heart dance.All Xuan Tianyi knew was that at that moment, he felt complete. In a way that words couldn"t dare express. As he didn"t want that moment to end, he closed his eyes and slowly drifted back to sleep.
***
The second time Xuan Tianyi woke up, he was no longer nestled in Hua Zhendan"s arms, but the former was still asleep.
Xuan Tianyi c.o.c.ked his head and stared at Hua Zhendan with a small smile plastered on his face. He had always loved it when Hua Zhendan slept peacefully. His heart ached when he realized how much he had really missed his lover.
His eyes drifted to the clock on the wall which rudely reminded him it was morning and he had to get up. With a sigh of resignation to duty, he brushed Hua Zhendan"s hair from his forehead, leaned down and kissed him lightly.
The gesture seemed to wake up Hua Zhendan who suddenly grabbed Xuan Tianyi and pulled him into his arms. "Where do you think you"re going after stealing a kiss from me?"
"I"m just—"
"Just stay here, okay?" Hua Zhendan moaned.
With a smile on his face, Xuan Tianyi clicked his tongue. "Are you a man or a child?"
"Can a child do the things I did to you last night?"
Xuan Tianyi blushed at the words and tried to pull himself away from Hua Zhendan. "Just let go already, hmm? I need to get up."
"Where are you going?"
"Your mum has so much work to do. She sent home the helpers so they can go be with their families for the holidays. I want to go help her out."
"You don"t need to, honey. Just please stay here with me."
"What do you mean I don"t need to?" Xuan Tianyi scolded.
"Are you scolding me because I want you to remain by my side?"
"No. I"m scolding you because you won"t let me go help out your mum."
Hua Zhendan released him. "Fine. You go where you want. But don"t let her get into your head, okay?"
"You guys made up, didn"t you? Why do you still talk about her like that?"
"We made up, alright. But people and their ideas about the world don"t change in one day. I"m just saying—"
"I think you should come down and do some ch.o.r.es." Xuan Tianyi changed the topic as he picked up Hua Zhendan"s dress from the previous night and placed it on his body.
"What?"
"I didn"t disturb you before since you were sleeping so peacefully. But now, you"re clearly awake. So, please wear some clothes and come do some ch.o.r.es, okay?"
"You go down first then. I"ll be there in a minute."
Xuan Tianyi nodded and went downstairs. As he heard noises coming from the kitchen, he walked straight towards it. "Good morning, ma"am." He said to Shen Rui who was standing in front of the kitchen sink, doing the dishes from the previous night.
Shen Rui gave him the once-over. Politely she said, "Good morning. I couldn"t find you last night so I thought you left."
"Oh! I went to get something. Before I returned, you had already gone upstairs. And I didn"t want to disturb." Xuan Tianyi scratched his right ear.
"That"s good then. I thought you had left without saying goodbye. I couldn"t stop wondering if I had said something to upset you."
Xuan Tianyi shook his head and walked towards her. In a somber tone, he said, "I have something to tell you, Shen Rui."
Shen Rui nodded, then asked, "You want to tell me you and Hua Zhendan made up last night?"
"I... We... How did you know?"
Shen Rui smiled. "You"re wearing his s.h.i.+rt."
"Oh!" Xuan Tianyi said and dropped his head in embarra.s.sment. He had become so used to wearing Hua Zhendan"s clothes when they were living together, he didn"t even realize when he did it now.
"You must be bothered because you broke your promise to me." Shen Rui said.
"I... I"m sor—"
"It"s okay." Shen Rui smiled.
"It is?"
She nodded. "I never really took it seriously in the first place. Second, I promised Hua Zhendan I would try and be okay with his s.e.xuality; and I"m determined to keep that promise. Third, if my son has to be with a man, I prefer it to be you."
"Really?" Xuan Tianyi"s eyes brightened in surprise.
She smiled and nodded. "I happen to be very fond of you."
Xuan Tianyi blushed. "Then, what can I help you with?"
She pointed at a bowl on a counter filled with vegetables.
"Can you take a knife and help me chop about eight carrots?"
Xuan Tianyi quickly obliged.
When Xuan Tianyi was in the middle of chopping one carrot, Shen Rui said, "You woke up in the morning and came down here to help me out. I"ve never met a man who does that. Even Hua Zhendan wouldn"t."
Xuan Tianyi smiled. "I asked him to come down. But I reckon he"ll just go back to bed."
"Of course, he will." Shen Rui continued, "You know, if you were a woman, you"d make a great housewife."
"I... Don"t think so. I can manage, but I"m not that good with doing things around the house."
"Then, what are you good at?"
"I..."
Shen Rui sighed. "Don"t think about it too much. I think you and my son will be just fine."
"What do you mean?"
"You know... You quit your job at the company. This means that in addition to having no skills, you"re unemployed. This also means that you"ll be dependent on Hua Zhendan a lot. Most especially, financially. Relations.h.i.+ps like that... Tend not to last very long, unlike when both partners are independent and can support each other."
Xuan Tianyi chopped the carrots in silence. Thinking about Shen Rui"s words.
"You know... Qiu Dawei and Hua Zhendan lasted for four years. This wasn"t really because of the love they had for each other. Love almost always isn"t strong enough to keep a relations.h.i.+p going. It"s because they complimented each other well.
"Back then, Qiu Dawei wasn"t that financially secure, but when Hua Zhendan provided the money, Qiu Dawei would give him a tasty homemade meal, which Hua Zhendan prefers over eating out. Where one of them had a knowledge gap, the other could almost immediately fill it. But... I"m sure it"s different with you."
Xuan Tianyi looked up at Shen Rui.
She smiled politely. "I shouldn"t even have brought this up. I"m sorry. I"m quite sure that Hua Zhendan loves you so much, he would never wake up and suddenly think you don"t deserve him, or you aren"t good enough for him. If he"s okay with you the way you are now, surely, he"ll always be okay with you like this."
Xuan Tianyi dropped his head and bit his lower lip to stop a teardrop that was threatening to fall.
"Are you okay? I hope what I said didn"t upset you." Shen Rui placed her hand on Xuan Tianyi"s shoulder.
Smiling at her, Xuan Tianyi shook his head. "Of course not. After the carrots, what should I do next?"
Shen Rui smiled and replied, "Chop two medium-sized onions." Returning to the sink, she finished the last of the dishes and wiped her hands.
Suddenly, she exclaimed. "Oh, G.o.d!"
Shocked, Xuan Tianyi glanced at her. "What"s the matter?"
She shook her head. "I"m so sorry. I have something to tell you, but for some reason, I keep forgetting."
"What"s it?"
"It"s... Your application. I got a mail from the school. They accepted you."
"Oh!" Xuan Tianyi muttered.
Shen Rui furrowed her brows. "What"s wrong? I expected you to be more excited than that."
Xuan Tianyi shook his head, a confused look on his face. "I"m happy I was accepted. It"s just... I don"t know if I should go through with it."
"Why not?"
"Hua Zhendan doesn"t know about it. I"m sure this will upset him."
Shen Rui smiled. "You surely don"t think he"s that unreasonable, do you? You tell him. As soon as you can. He"ll be okay with it. Moreover, getting an education wouldn"t make you so much of a simpleton anymore."
Xuan Tianyi looked up at Shen Rui.
She smiled and tapped his shoulder. "Think about it, dear. I"ll be right back."
As she walked towards the kitchen door, Hua Zhendan walked through it.
Shen Rui smiled at him and pointed at Xuan Tianyi. "Go help him chop those vegetables."
Hua Zhendan made a beeline to Xuan Tianyi"s work counter. He looked from the vegetables to Xuan Tianyi and back at the vegetables again. "So, how do I chop vegetables?"
"Just the way I"m doing it."
"It looks difficult."
"You don"t have to do it if you don"t want to."
"So, I could"ve just stayed in bed if I wanted to?"
"Yes."
"Great. I"ll just go back to bed then." Hua Zhendan started to walk away.
"Hua Zhendan?" Xuan Tianyi called.
"En?"
"Last night... I was being crazy last night."
"You think?"
"I didn"t realize how much I miss being with you before... I want us to get back together. For real this time. I"m not going to try to break us up again."
Hua Zhendan held Xuan Tianyi"s chin and smiled. "Promise?"
"Promise." Xuan Tianyi said with a nod.
"That"s good, then." Hua Zhendan leaned in and kissed Xuan Tianyi lightly on the lips.
When he pulled away, Xuan Tianyi said, "But, I mean what I said. About not feeling like I"m good enough for you."
"I don"t know how I can make you feel better about yourself."
"Can I ask for your support?"
"What do you mean? You know I love you just the way you are."
"I know. But... A while back, when we were apart, I applied for Business school. I... want to get a degree in Business Management."
"Really? Wow! That"s awesome."
"You think so?"
"Of course. If that"s what you mean, then you should know you have my full support."
"Well, I... I got in."
"Oh! That"s great. What school is this?"
"It"s... It"s in the US." Xuan Tianyi continued, "And... Unless I can somehow manage to complete my courses ahead of time, it"s a four-year course."
"So, you want to go away from me for four years?"
Xuan Tianyi smoothened Hua Zhendan"s hair and said softly. "I"m not going away. Plus, I"m sure we can always make time out to visit each other."
"You"ll be busy with school all the time and I"ll be busy at work. Are you telling me you actually believe we can make time for each other?"
"Hua Zhendan?" Xuan Tianyi called persuasively.
Hua Zhendan sighed. "You know what? You"re right. We will find a way to make it work. Just let me know if you need my help with anything. Most especially when it"s money-related."
"You don"t have to worry about it. Everything I could possibly need money for has already been taken care of."
"How?"
"Shen Rui has been helping me out with it."
"No." Hua Zhendan shook his head.
"No what?"
"If Shen Rui has something to do with this, then I"m not letting you go."
"You"re not "letting" me go?"
"Yes. You can"t go."
"What do you mean by "I can"t go?"" Xuan Tianyi snapped at Hua Zhendan.
"Look, Xuan Tianyi. I don"t mean it that way. You can further your education anywhere and anytime you want. But you can"t accept help from Shen Rui."
"Why not?"
"Because she can"t be up to any good. If she"s paying for your education, I"m telling you that she has a big plan to either ruin you or our relations.h.i.+p once you"re away. And four years? That"s more time than she needs."
"She is your mother. She raised you, for G.o.d"s sake. Can you not think of her as some type of devil all the time?"
"Xuan Tianyi, I know her better than you do. Believe what I"m saying."
"You"re being paranoid. Moreover, I already talked to her about both of us getting back together. And she"s fully supportive of it."
"That"s what she wants you to think."
"Zhendan, it doesn"t matter what you say. I"m going to do it."
"You know what? Whatever is coming... I"m not going to sit around for four years waiting to see the outcome. If you really are going to do this, then you"re on your own." Hua Zhendan made to leave the kitchen.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Xuan Tianyi asked in a sober voice.
Hua Zhendan turned. "No. I"m saying you"re going to have to choose between me and Shen Rui. And if you choose Shen Rui, that"s the end of the road for us. I"ll never let you back in my life."