It was still all strange to Hua Zhendan. Living in a small house, a cramped neighborhood and having a whole family. Yet, that is the way it was."Did you hand in your resignation today?" Hua Zhendan asked Hua Bochang.
"I did," came Hua Bochang"s reply. "My boss wasn"t pleaded about it. He even offered to increase my pay to make me stay."
"And?"
"It was tempting, but I turned him down. I mean, he hadn"t paid me for all the work I did before. How can I believe him when he said he would increase my pay?"
"You should"ve quit a long time ago." Hua Zhendan said. "And maybe sued him to court or something."
"That"s how the society works. The rich always find a way to walk over the boy."
The words stung Hua Zhendan"s pride. It made him wonder if he walked over other people when he was rich. No particular incident came to mind, still, he felt guilty.
Hua Bochang sighed. "It"s not easy to start a whole company."
Hua Zhendan smiled. Hua Bochang had voiced his apprehension many a times since he had mentioned the idea to him. He knew his father was doing this out of blind trust for his judgement. Perhaps to make up for all his years of absence. "I"ll do this with you. You don"t have to worry about anything." Hua Zhendan a.s.sured his father.
Hua Bochang nodded.
After talking a while longer, Hua Bochang decided to retire to the bedroom while his son opted to go out for fresh air. Stepping outside, he saw Hua Juan sitting on the veranda. Deep in thought.
He sat beside her and said, "Hey."
She glanced at him, gave him a small smile and returned his greeting. "Hey."
"What are you thinking about?"
"Loads of stuff—Boys, money, soccer."
"You play soccer?" Hua Zhendan asked.
Hua Juan shook her head. "I used to. I"m actually really good at it. But mother says it"s a sport for boys."
"So you stopped?"
"Yes. But you said a girl can do anything. So, I"m thinking of playing again."
Hua Zhendan smiled. "If you"re pa.s.sionate about it, then you should continue to play."
Hua Juan nodded. "Mother won"t be so happy when I resume playing." She stared at her fingers wistfully. "But I don"t care."
"That"s settled then. Tell me, did you ask out that boy you like?"
She shook her head. "There"s this girl in cla.s.s. Really pretty. And she has big b.o.o.bs too. All the boys in cla.s.s like her. She"s always around him. I figure he must like her too, so I chickened out of asking him out."
Hua Zhendan stared at her. Her insecurities reminded him of the person he missed the most. Shaking off thoughts of that person, he said, "You know something about self-image? People will always look at you the way you see yourself."
Hua Juan stared at her brother attentively.
"If you think you aren"t beautiful, you"ll carry yourself that way and everyone else will see you that way."
Hua Juan dropped her head.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"The first time I saw you, I thought you were beautiful, kind, smart and confident. I think I saw you that way because when we met, you weren"t thinking about anything in particular and showed your true self to me."
In spite of herself, Hua Juan smiled. "Was that really your first impression of me."
Hua Zhendan nodded. "And that"s how you should carry yourself too."
Hua Juan nodded.
"Don"t try too hard to impress anyone. If this boy doesn"t love you for who you are, then he doesn"t deserve you." Hua Zhendan"s mind wandered off to Xuan Tianyi again. He had loved him for who he was. Then, how did he manage to lose him?
"Are you saying I should ask him out?"
Hua Zhendan furrowed his brows. "No. No, I"m not asking you to ask him out. You"re too young to have a boyfriend."
"I"m not too young to have a boyfriend. I"m sixteen." The girl said with a frown.
Hua Zhendan gave her a surprised look. "There"s no way you"re sixteen. Your so tiny."
"I"m actually fifteen," she confessed. "But I"ll be sixteen in a couple of months. So, what does it matter?"
"You"re still a child," Hua Zhendan said while patting her head affectionately. "Don"t try to grow up so fast. Leave the things you should worry about in your adult years for your adult years."
"If I can worry about them now, then why should I have to wait for later?"
"Because things can get messed up within the blink of an eye. And you"ll miss the days when you didn"t have to worry about anything."
Hua Juan nodded. "I understand."
"Do you?"
She laughed cheekily. "No, I don"t."
He laughed and stared at her again. Staring at her, he realized that he worried about her. He realized that he cared about her more than he thought. How was it possible to love someone so quickly yet so strongly? Thinking further than himself, he wondered what it would be like to have a child of your own someday. The thought surprised immediately surprised him, this was the first time his mind had ever wandered that far.
"Big brother," Hua Juan called, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"En?"
"I"ve been calling you for a while now. What were you thinking about? Your girlfriend."
He smiled at her and shook his head. "I don"t have anyone."
"Well, have you ever had someone before?"
Hua Zhendan nodded.
Hua Juan released a deep breath. "You"re very charming. Whatever girl you dated before must have been very pretty."
Hua Zhendan smiled at the girl. Confused on what reply to give. Yes, both of the people he had dated were very good-looking, but none of them were girls. He stared at her and imagined her eyes would bulge out of her sockets if he ever told her that. His mind wandered again. This time to Hua Bochang and Hua Lin. How would they react if they ever found out he was gay?
***
Xuan Tianmei walked into the living room with dread in her heart for what she was about to do.
Su Yang glanced up from her novel at her. Noting Xuan Tianmei"s uneasiness, she asked, "What are you up to?"
Xuan Tianmei smiled at her. Holding up a flash drive, she said, "Let"s watch a movie together."
Su Yang shook her head. "I told you I don"t watch romance movies."
Xuan Tianmei settled beside her on the couch, but took extra care that there was no contact between them. "It"s not romance. It"s gore."
To Xuan Tianmei"s dismay, Su Yang"s eyes widened in delight. "Do you mean, one of those movies with blood and senseless killings everywhere?"
Xuan Tianmei swallowed a blob of saliva and nodded. "Yes."
"Oh!" Su Yang flung the flash drive out of Xuan Tianmei"s hands. Staring at it excitedly, she asked, "Does the main character die?"
Xuan Tianmei shook her head uneasily. "I don"t know. I hope not?"
Su Yang sighed in antic.i.p.ation. "I love it when the main character dies in these movies."
"Who would the movie be about then?"
"They don"t die until the end, of course. But that"s when the movie is the most satisfying."
"Okay," Xuan Tianmei nodded. Wondering how her own horror movie would end. Probably with her death as well. "We should start now."
Su Yang suddenly stopped and gave Xuan Tianmei a concerned look. "You have gooseb.u.mps on your arms. Are you sure you"re okay?"
Xuan Tianmei nodded. "I"m fine."
Su Yang sighed, her mood downcast. "Look, you don"t have to watch this with me, okay? I"m really happy you got it for me, but you don"t have to sit through it yourself."
Xuan Tianmei nodded. "I know. But I want to."
"Are you sure?"
Xuan Tianmei nodded again. In a low voice, she said. "I wanna do something with you. Just hold me in your arms until the end of the movie."
Su Yang looked at Xuan Tianmei apprehensively. When she started to shake her head, Xuan Tianmei spoke up, "I said you should hold me. Don"t worry, I won"t touch you."
Su Yang said nothing in reply. She only wondered why Xuan Tianmei had said that.
Xuan Tianmei continued. "I realize now that you don"t like being touched. So, I"m not going to try to do that anymore. And I"m sorry for all the times in the past that I did. It"s fine if you don"t want me to touch you as long as you can bear to touch me."
Su Yang smiled. She was happy and Xuan Tianmei could see it in her eyes that was devoid of any emotions most of the time. With a nod of her head, she said, "Thanks. For the movie. And for understanding."
Xuan Tianmei nodded.
Su Yang held up the flash drive, "If you can sit through the movie with me till its ending, I"ll watch a romantic movie with you, right after or whenever you want."
Xuan Tianmei smiled. Remembering all the times Su Yang had swore she could never watch a romance movie. This definitely had to be some kind of progress.