"What are you going to do?" he asked. "Hurt me because I want to share a blanket? I won"t impugn your honor. You"re an ornery woman if you won"t allow a man even that."
He moved forward again, and I pressed into the wall, feeling its cold through my thin chemise as he came on. "I said stop!" The pitch of my voice halted him, and he hesitated, a foot back. Heart pounding, I whispered, "I might. I"ve hurt people before. It"s what I do. Demon kin. I"m demon kin, and tonight proves it."
"Aye, you might." Pierce"s eyes narrowed. "I"ll chance it."
I didn"t have time to react as he shifted to sit right next to me, pushing my arm away when I went to shove him back, slipping the blanket around us and drawing it close.
"You son of a b.i.t.c.h," I said, and he caught my wrist as I went to shove him, tucking it under his arm so he could pull the blanket closer over my shoulder. "Leave off!"
"A body is just trying to get warm!" he said, irritated. "Hold still."
He moved to block another smack-and both my hands were caught. "You"ve been giving your trust to the wrong people. Nohow can you fix it," Pierce said, and I quit, surprised. "What do I have to do to win your trust? d.a.m.nation, woman, I just saved you three times, and the sun isn"t even up yet."
Panting, I stared at him through my lank strands of hair. "I trust Jenks and Ivy."
His eyes were inches from mine. "You trust on the surface, but no deeper. You don"t know how. For a clever woman, you took the short end of the stick when it comes to men."
I shoved my shoulder into him, seeing as he had my wrists in one of his hands. "Get off! I don"t want to play this game, Pierce."
I tapped a line-ready to risk Trent"s feeling it-and Pierce"s grip on my wrists tightened. "Game," he said, voice angry. "It"s an all-fired serious game, and we"re going to settle it off the reel. I don"t set much store by the lies you tell yourself to protect your heart. Tell me a truth, and I"ll let go of you. Use that line upon me instead, and I"ll smack your head into the wall."
Yeah, he probably would. "This is stupid, Pierce," I said, heart pounding. "Let me go."
"Aye, stupid," he muttered. "Tell me a truth, and I"ll let go." I wiggled, and his grip tightened. "You can"t think of one dash-it-all truth?"
"You scare me," I blurted out, and he exhaled. The furrow over his brow eased, and he loosened his grip on my wrist.
"Why?" he said, but he didn"t sound surprised as he gazed at me, a new stubble on his face and his expression unforgiving.
I thought of his sorry state, stinking of river water and p.r.i.c.kly, then the time I"d seen him standing in my church, clean and dressed impeccably, with a hat. Who wears a hat anymore? Who wears a hat anymore? "Because I"m attracted to you," I whispered. "And every man-or woman, for that matter-I"m attracted to is dangerous. They betray me or end up dead or... hurt me somehow." "Because I"m attracted to you," I whispered. "And every man-or woman, for that matter-I"m attracted to is dangerous. They betray me or end up dead or... hurt me somehow."
My heart pounded as he thought about that. "That"s half a truth," he said, and let go of one of my wrists.
I rubbed my wrist, trying to erase his touch. "I"m afraid that anyone who can look past my shunning and s.m.u.t is a bad person and not to be trusted. Like you."
Emotion crossed his face, too fast for me to read. "There"s the other half," he said, letting go of the other wrist and settling himself more comfortably beside me, our shoulders touching. "One that I deem hogwash, but if you believe it, I"ll allow it."
Feeling less penned in, I shifted my half of the blanket up around my shoulders. "I want to know what you did for the coven to kill you," I said, then hesitated. "Why you"re still helping me when you know I"m demon kin. You kill demons. Or try to, anyway."
He stared at the rock wall across from us. "You don"t know how to play this game. Those are wants, not truths."
My wrists were fine, not even red in the dim light as I rubbed them, and I could feel his warmth on one side of me, though s.p.a.ce was between us. This was okay. We could share a blanket. I guess. "How about playing my my game, then," I said. "The more you talk, the longer I"ll sit here under your blanket." game, then," I said. "The more you talk, the longer I"ll sit here under your blanket."
He smiled at that, but it faded fast, and he stared at the stones and into his past with his hands laced over his shins.
"Did they kill you because of Eleison?" I asked, pulse fast. Please dont let it be bad. Please dont let it be bad.
"Eleison wasn"t why, but it was the beginning of my end," he said, voice soft in the glow of his magic-made light. "You know I destroyed it? Every last living soul?" he asked, his expression haunted, and when I nodded, his gaze became distant again. "They forgave me for that. What came afterward..."
The blanket slipped from my shoulder when he shifted to find a more comfortable position, and I tugged it back up, sending his scent over me along with the blanket. "Eleison was a small town, rife with foul magic," he said softly. "I was a minor coven member, young. Newly taken to my vow. I was the plumber, as Ivy would say, out among the people settling issues, fixing things so that the secret of our species might not be espied. I was sent to Eleison to evaluate and bring back word, but when I found a black coven with a demon and three girls in their circle... I swan, their fear was a powerful thing. It would have been a sin to Moses had I not done something. The circle broke when I made my presence known, and the demon made his escape. I expected to make a die of it, but he didn"t kill me. Not right off the reel."
His voice faltered, and I felt a surge of pity, imagining it.
"Every last person perished before the sun rose, each more foully than the last," he breathed. "The demon murdered the three girls by a most horrible means, thinking that they meant something to me. Witches of skill were taken to the ever-after, and warlocks and children of no account... slaughtered like chickens and left askew with their limbs tangled."
I had to say something. "You tried to stop the demon," I offered.
"Of course I did. But the demon set no great store by my efforts, and my skills saved only myself. Not even a child could I spare." His gaze became angry. "A coven member, helpless. I was a dash-it-all coven member, and I was helpless. It was my dang-blamed innocence of the way things are, ignoring the truth of it. I opine you"re wiser than me, having followed your heart from the beginning and being open with your choices, not hiding them behind lies even if it made your path harder."
G.o.d help me, he thought my acceptance of black magic was a good thing? Hadn"t he been watching this past year?
He hung his head, saying, "The coven hid the ma.s.sacre as a sickness, and knowing they wouldn"t cotton to it, I began studying on it in private. How can you fight a winning battle with something you don"t even know the limits of? When by chance a twist of black magic saved my life and hurt no one, I went to the coven with my thoughts. They said they would consider it and sent me to find a rogue master vampire while they discussed it at length."
My shivering had stopped, and I stared at the same nothing he was. "Christopher," I said, remembering the vampire we"d tagged on my nineteenth winter solstice. Was I attracted to Pierce because he believed what I wanted to think was the truth? That demon magic wasnt bad unless you made another pay the cost? Were we both delusional? Was I attracted to Pierce because he believed what I wanted to think was the truth? That demon magic wasnt bad unless you made another pay the cost? Were we both delusional?
He nodded. "They betrayed me, giving him warning that I was coming and the knowledge to implicate me as a witch and the wisdom to make me helpless, bound with silver my own mentor had charmed. There was no one decision that landed me in your graveyard, but I"ll allow it started with Eleison."
The coven had buried him alive. alive. In my backyard. In a hole like the one we were in now. In my backyard. In a hole like the one we were in now. And I"m flaking out about dogs? And I"m flaking out about dogs? "I"m so sorry." "I"m so sorry."
He smiled sadly at me, and I noticed his stubble was coming in red, though his hair was black. "I"m not," he said. "If I hadn"t paused my life in purgatory, I"d not be here to see the wonder of planes, computers, and orange juice. Or you."
I drew back, suddenly conscious of my nasty hair and river-water-soaked clothes. His presence beside me grew obvious, and the moist warmth between us rose up, carrying our mingling scents. "Are you cold?" he asked softly.
s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t. I knew what was happening, but I didn"t want to stop it. Be smart, Ivy had said. Was this smart? "No," I whispered, pulse racing. I was not falling for him. I wasn"t! But a small voice inside me said I might have, and what was left was only justification and trying to find a way to live with the coming heartache when it ended.
I"d asked for the truth, and he"d told me. He knew who I was. Had for a long time. And he was sitting beside me, having dragged me out of the river and kept me from being torn apart by dogs despite what I was. Who I might become.
Slowly, I shifted my weight to lean into him. My heart pounded at the simple motion that was anything but. I felt his warmth mingle with mine as the curious sensation of hesitant trust and tension swirled, sparking even more desire. d.a.m.n me back to the Turn, but I wanted this. Bad track record, obvious warnings, and roommates aside, I wanted to see where this might go. More important, I was strong enough to see where it might end, and it would end. Smart decision? Probably not, but it was being made with my eyes open.
He was a black-arts witch who made no apologies. He didn"t care what the coven thought, and even more telling, he had the ability and the strength to stand up to them, thumb his nose, and still be who he wanted to be. That was what I wanted, too.
He leaned toward me, and I stiffened at the thrill of wanted emotion spilling down my side where we touched. Feeling it, he hesitated. "I truly scare you?" he asked, inches away.
"Yes." I took a breath, poised on something new as I gazed at him, remembering him wrapped around me as I tried to bolt, holding me-protecting me from myself.
He paused, eyes fixed to mine. "I"m of a mind that you"re lying now."
I shifted, lips parted as I looked at him. "You do scare me. You"re a dangerous, threatening witch, and me a.s.sociating with you isn"t going to help me get unshunned. You use black magic too quickly, you tell me what to do as if you"re in charge, you"re way too c.o.c.ky with Al, and people around you die." But they die around me, too. But they die around me, too.
The blanket fell from my shoulder, and nodding his agreement of my a.s.sessment, he leaned to pull it back up around me. My eyes flashed to his when he didn"t slump back, but instead hesitated, his lips inches from mine. Waiting. "So?" he asked, the modern phrase sounding odd from him.
People die around me, too. Not caring about tomorrow, I lifted my chin to meet him. Not caring about tomorrow, I lifted my chin to meet him.
Warmth spilled through my body, and my grip tightened. His lips were warm against me, with just enough demand in them to ignite my own pa.s.sion. A small noise slipped from me, and my eyes closed. I shifted closer, wanting this.
Our lips parted, and I met his eyes, wondering what I"d find. My worry vanished at the hot desire mirrored in his. I wasn"t going to think anymore. Trying to plan my life wasn"t working, and this felt good. In my gut, in my heart. I didn"t care if it didn"t last.
Rising, I put my knees on either side of him to sit on his lap, my head almost touching the ceiling. His smile didn"t last long, or at least I didn"t see it because I leaned in and kissed him.
Pierce"s hand went behind my head, holding me firm. A tingle of ley-line energy threatened between us, and my breath came fast. Oh G.o.d. I"d forgotten about that, and my hands twined behind his back as his hand at my spine made a fist and his lips stopped moving against mine. "Don"t stop, Pierce," I said, breathless, and he gazed at me, blue eyes serious.
"You know what we"re doing and where this might go?" he asked as if I were a child.
I bent forward to whisper in his ear. "Yes." My breath turned to nibbles, and I felt him grow hard under me. Oh G.o.d, this could be so good if I let it happen.
His hand moved again along my back, but it was slow and devoid of intent. "My pride won"t take being one of your mistakes," he said softly.
He"s worried I"m I"m going to leave him? going to leave him? I hesitated. Pulling back, I searched his gaze as the heat he had instilled in me lingered. "It"s only a mistake if one of us makes it so," I said. "I"m not asking anything of you. I have today and tomorrow-I can"t look further than that. You know my past. You know I can"t make promises." I hesitated. Pulling back, I searched his gaze as the heat he had instilled in me lingered. "It"s only a mistake if one of us makes it so," I said. "I"m not asking anything of you. I have today and tomorrow-I can"t look further than that. You know my past. You know I can"t make promises."
Pierce took my hands from behind his neck and solemnly held them between us. "You"ve given up on love."
Shaking my head I lifted our entwined hands and kissed his knuckles. "No. But it hurts too much when you want it to last and it can"t. I"m sorry, Pierce. I can"t give any more than this."
"Rachel..."
I stopped his words with a shake of my head. "I"m not giving up on love, but I"m not going to cry anymore when it"s over." Liar, liar, pants on fire. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Distressed, he said, "I"m not going to leave you."
A shiver went through me, and though we sat poised on a new beginning, I looked at our past and what he had done: taken another man"s body to be alive, learned black magic and used it openly, tried to kill Al. He had great power, was as black as me, and he thought he loved me? He hardly knew me. "Pierce, you will."
"But staying with you is what I wish to do," he said earnestly, his hand brushing my skin.
A slow smile curved over my face, and I leaned down over him. "No," I said. "Wishes are lies. Tell me you"re going to leave. Tell me you"re not going to stay. Tell me that it"s only for a while so I can enjoy today," I whispered in his ear, as if saying it louder would break me. "And when you go, don"t think me cold when I don"t cry. I can"t cry anymore, Pierce. It hurts too much."
He pulled me closer, and I shifted to lay beside him, his arms twined around me. "I cannot stay," he lied for me, eyes averted. "I"m only going to be here for a time, then leave you." His gaze met mine. "And I will cry when I go, because I could love you forever."
My eyes were wet, and he brushed my hair from my face, wiping the tears from me as I heard in his voice that he didn"t believe anything he had said but the last bit. I searched his gaze, emotionally spent, though nothing had happened. His eyes closed and he leaned in. His mouth met mine, and he delved deep, his tongue finding mine in a way I"d never imagined from him.
I will cry when I go echoed in my thoughts, and I tightened my hold on him. echoed in my thoughts, and I tightened my hold on him. Because I could love you forever. Because I could love you forever.
It was what I was down to. It was all I could accept, all I could give.
So I gave myself to the now, to the only thing I had. I moved suggestively against him, and his hand found my hip, the other sliding upward to cup a breast. Oh G.o.d, he was leaving tingles everywhere, his fingertips raising gooseflesh as he created a ley-line imbalance between us. "Pierce," I said breathlessly as he pulled me closer and gently kissed my neck.
He was touching me, running his hands on my back, but he wasn"t moving forward with what I really wanted to do. "Pierce!" I said more urgently as he found my b.r.e.a.s.t.s again.
"What," he said, clearly preoccupied, but if he didn"t do more, I was going to scream.
I licked my lips, shuddering and having to take his hands in mine so I could think. "How long has it been for you?"
The darkness of his eyes made me shiver. "So long I"d likely kill you if I"m not careful."
My smile grew wicked. "You wouldn"t believe how uncomfortable these pants are."
A work-roughened hand slid down the soft skin of my side, lingering at the waistband. "I opine mine are a mite tight right now," he admitted. He curved an arm around me, and I made a little gasp of a giggle when he spun us around, landing me under him. The blanket was sort of under me, and with a surprising pop, the light went out.
"Pierce?"
Alarmed, I went to sit up, rising right into him. His hands caught my face and he kissed me as he knelt over me. It was as awkward as all h.e.l.l, and I fell back down under him. My hands went to the ties of his pants, but before I could do more, he was pulling my shirt over my head and I had to let go.
Making a soft moan of sound, I tried again, only to have him pull back out of my reach as he fumbled with my side zipper. My pants were still wet from the river, and he had to pull them off inside out. He was swearing mildly, making me smile when he came back, and I reached up, running a hand over his shoulder, enjoying the way the fabric bunched when I moved to his front and found him taut beneath the thin fabric of his trousers.
I undid the tie and his pants were loose about his hips. My hand dipped inside to find him, and his breathing grew rough. Antic.i.p.ation was a silver thread of adrenaline through me, and I pulled him down on top of me.
"How are you with ley lines?" I whispered, wanting to be sure he knew what was what.
"I swan, I won"t hurt you, Rachel," he breathed. "But you told me not to."
I thought back to waking up with the warmth of a ley line running through me. "I lied," I said, running my hand over him just to enjoy the feel of him.
Making a satisfied sound, he eased to the blanket under me, and I turned to face him. Stretching out my awareness, I touched a ley line and filled my chi, jumping when his free hand slipped low across my back. From his fingers, threads of ley line spilled to melt into me, flowing up and through me to where his lips played with the skin under my ear.
It was like he was a ley line, alive and given a body and a will. I gasped, pulling back from his lips in surprise. This wasn"t a power pull, which was finite energy from one"s chi. No, this untold power was spilling into me, through me, like I was part of a line itself. Done slow and gentle, it was the most erotic thing I"d ever felt.
My hands on him tightened, and he ended his kiss. The flow of warmth from his fingers ceased, though his hand"s motion did not, sliding down to trace my outlines. "What...," I said, blinking, "was that? It wasn"t a power pull."
There was the faintest glow in the corner from his light, and in it, I could see his outline beside me, smiling devilishly. "I told you once before that it"s me including you in communing with a line," he said. "It only works when I"m touching you in two places."
He leaned forward, and as he kissed me, his hand rising slowly across my lower back spilled energy into me and then out again where our feet touched. My breath came fast, and I followed it as it seeped through me, rising upward to make my lips tingle. I pulled back, licking them, remembering the feel of the line in me.
"This is a demon thing, isn"t it," I said, heart pounding.
I saw his outline nod. "You want me to stop?"
In answer, I reached down to find him. His breath came out, and curving an arm under me, he shifted me underneath him. My pulse hammered as I looked up at his indistinct outline. I reached up and sent my hand down him when he bent his head and found my breast.
My eyes closed, and my hands jumped to his hair, twining in his loose curls. Pierce"s foot hooked under mine, and I gasped when the line he was connected to flashed through me, running from his mouth down my body and to my foot. Oh G.o.d. Oh G.o.d. If he had been inside me... If he had been inside me...
I made a little moan, shivering at the thought. Seeming to know my mind, he broke his hold on me, making little hop kisses up to my neck, each time sending a tiny surge of ley line through me. We were already moving together, and my hands on him tightened when he entered me, slowly, as if he might hurt me. The tenderness was more arousing than if he"d been aggressive, and I groaned from the antic.i.p.ation. G.o.d, he was perfect, able to move deep without discomfort, his breath fast upon me in desire.
Just this much was exquisite, and it would have been more than enough, but I knew there was more. My hands slipped around his neck to tangle my fingers in his hair. His head nudged mine, and his lips found my neck, lightly biting. And then, without warning, he bore down, spilling the line already running through him back into me.
I gasped, arching my back as the heat dove through me to my groin. Our rhythm hesitated as I hung there, almost climaxing at the sudden sensation. His lips fastened tighter upon my neck, and the energy between us ebbed. Oh G.o.d, he smelled good.
Panting, I opened my eyes. "Rachel?" he asked as if wondering if I was okay.
"Mmmm-hmmm." My hands, which had fallen back to clutch at the blanket, found his lower back again. I rose into him, claiming his mouth. Our motions grew faster, and I felt the heat between us shift, become demanding. Again, he touched the line, and I gasped as the heat burned hotter than before as it ran through me.
"Don"t stop, don"t stop," I panted as he hesitated, my chi roiling with energies.
"Rachel, I can"t wait," he breathed, the hint of desperation igniting me. "Not yet," I moaned.
Hesitating deep in me to prolong it, his lips found my breast, and as he pulled on me, I felt him touch the line again. The glittering heat pounded in waves from his mouth to my groin.
And suddenly, I couldn"t wait either. "Oh G.o.d. Pierce!" I said, eyes wide and unseeing as I felt my aura melt to match the resonance of the line. Like an exquisite ping of eternity, I became one with the line he was drawing on.
The energy that had been flowing from Pierce to me suddenly flashed in reverse. Pierce gasped. His head came up, eyes wide in shock. Scrambling, I reached after the energy, pulling it back as the first hints of it dove through him.