Chapter Eight
I was approaching the school gates when I b.u.mped into Si Jing. It was rare that she hollered my name unlike her usual ladylike self and it was so loud I couldn’t ignore it.
“Xi Guang”.
I pedalled to a stop. “Si Jing”.
She noted the thesis in my grasp, “Here to collect your marked thesis?”
“Yup.”
“How was it?”
“A mess.”
“Do come back. Everyone can help vet it. We’re almost graduating, there aren’t many days left for us to hang out.” Seeing that I remained silent, she stopped. She studied my expression carefully before she continued “Are you still bothered by that incident? It was a misunderstanding, Rong Rong wasn’t being malicious. Surely you won’t take it to heart?”
I c.o.c.ked my head. To be honest, I never understood why she had always concerned herself with matters that involved Rong Rong, Zhuang Xu and I. She had been like this even from the very beginning.
I mulled over it “Si Jing, do you really think Rong Rong bears no ill-will towards me?”
“What ill intent could she harbour?” She laughed.
“Once, Rong Rong and you were in the room. I was there too but the curtain hid me from view. I heard you question Rong Rong if she was afraid I would steal Zhuang Xu from her.”
Her smile stiffened.
“Do you still recall what she said then? She said ‘Don’t you think Xi Guang is the best candidate to test Zhuang Xu’s affections for me? She hails from an influential family and has decent looks. If Zhuang Xu can resist that temptation, I know his feelings for me will never waver.’”
I mimicked Rong Rong’s tone as I uttered the very same words that had kept me in a daze. Seeing that Si Jing looked uncomfortable, I smiled “After that, I returned to Wu Xi.”
I hopped on my bike again. This time, Si Jing did not stop me.
After that conversation, I guessed as much that Si Jing would no longer play the enthusiastic mediator. Indeed my phone did not sound as often in the subsequent days.
To be honest, I didn’t dwell on it. Acceding to my mentor’s suggestions meant that I had to rewrite my entire paper. I was deeply troubled and had no idea where to begin. I could only kick myself for picking such an unfamiliar topic. Unfortunately, deep regret was of no help at all given the pressing deadline.
I was cupping my chin in my hands and staring at the computer screen lost in thought when my phone suddenly rang. It was a familiar looking string of digits.
I hesitated before I finally decided to answer it.
“Nie Xi Guang?”
I was stunned.
“This is Zhuang Xu.”
‘I know it’s you’ I thought to myself but I answered flatly “Oh, it’s you.”
Then, the line went silent.
It seemed like he was just as uncomfortable as I was as the pause lengthened before he finally said “Check your inbox. I’ve emailed you.”
translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.
A letter of apology? Or a letter of commendation? Surely not a loveletter?
All sorts of possibilities flashed across my mind as I logged into my mail. I least expected the email to be a thesis paper.
I stared hard at the t.i.tle of the word doc.u.ment. The bold black letterings were the source of my recent frustrations – a.n.a.lysis of the Impact of Web Oligopolies on the Economy.
Neither of us had hung up and Zhuang Xu continued “I rewrote a whole new paper so this version is completely different from mine. You can just submit this, there wouldn’t be any problem.”
I had completely forgotten how to speak.
Both indignation and joy seemed to be entirely inappropriate emotions. What was worse, my rapidly thumping heart was unbearable.
He didn’t wait for a reply this time as he tossed out “Yup that’s all … I’m hanging up now. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.”
Then he hung up.
I remained in my stupor for a while before finally reading the paper he had sent. Zhuang Xu certainly deserved his sterling reputation as the prodigy in International Finance. The points were organised, clear and it was a well-balanced piece with adequate discussion of both sides of the coin. It was a stark contrast to my paper that struggled to reach the word limit. In fact, to achieve the designated word count, I rambled on my points which hurt the flow and made the connections tenuous at best.
But … Why did he do this for me?
Zhuang Xu was a prideful man. Word on the street was a graduating senior from the previous batch had offered him an astronomical sum of five thousand to pen his thesis for him. Zhuang Xu had turned down the proposition without a second thought. Rong Rong always described him as overly righteous to the point of being inflexible yet here he was turning his back on his principles to help me. He even went so far as to tell me in no uncertain terms that I could just copy his text wholesale.
I slumped in front of my computer and muttered to myself “Could it be that it was an alien who called me …”
Alright, I had to admit if I were to look past the gross misunderstanding and the shame in submitting a lousy thesis, it was indeed a sweet gesture. It felt as if we were suddenly closer and I was bathed in a blissfulness reminiscent of a romance.
I scrolled through the doc.u.ment quickly and gave it a brief once over. I wondered if this was his subtle way of apologizing or if it was …
Suddenly, I was gripped by a singular thought and my hand froze mid-scroll. Time seemed to come to a standstill as though a masterful pugilist had tapped on its acupoints. All tiny feelings of happiness vanished in an instant.
Was … he apologizing on Rong Rong’s behalf?
I eyed the thesis with suspicion as the likelihood seemed to increase by the minute. After the truth had come to light, Xiao Feng had called several times to apologize while Si Jing and Ah Fen had asked after my well-being. Only the aggressive accuser Rong Rong has maintained her silence on the issue.
In addition, didn’t Zhuang Xu find me irksome? Why would he extend a helping hand to me just because I had been wronged?
So … This was the only logical deduction.
I logged off my email in a daze. Thank goodness that no one was privy to my earlier guesses else I would have been made a laughing stock.
translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.
After lying in bed for a while, I picked up the phone, rehea.r.s.ed a few lines and dialled his number. I intended to politely reject his kind offer.
Zhuang Xu’s hostel mate answered “Oh you’re looking for Zhuang Xu, hold on.”
A moment later, he picked up the receiver once again “Is it urgent? If not, can you call back later? Zhuang Xu’s sleeping. I called him twice but he didn’t stir.”
“He’s sleeping now?” It was dinnertime!
“Yeah.” The voice on the other end continued “He had been burning the midnight oil the past few nights preparing some paper or either. Oh he seems to have awoken. Hold on.”
Burning the midnight oil lately? I was bewildered. Was it over my paper?
It had only been a few days since running into him in the office. To rewrite a whole new piece on the same topic but with brand new points in such a short span of time would be no easy feat even for Zhuang Xu.
For some strange reason, my heart warmed. I thought to myself that even if he had not done it purely for my benefit, he must have thought of me. However, I was also overwhelmed with emotions at the knowledge that his feelings for Rong Rong would push him to make such a sacrifice. With such conflicting emotions that made my head spin, I was already regretting making the call.
However, it was too late to hang up.
“h.e.l.lo?” He sounded weary.
“Um … I …” With my feelings all jumbled up, I had clean forgotten the lines I had prepared. “I … Regarding that …”
The other end paused before asking “Nie Xi Guang?”
“Yup it’s me …”
“Is there a problem with the paper?”
“No, not at all.”
It became silent once again.
“If you have any queries, you can look for me anytime.”
“Oh okay … bye.” This time I hung up swiftly before he could reply.
I could imagine Zhuang Xu’s bewilderment at my meaningless call.
translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.
In the end, I didn’t use his paper.
It seemed as though a martial arts exponent had unlocked my intelligence acupoint – new points and ideas just flowed freely from the pen. With tenfold the effort I had invested into my draft and a few late nights, I was able to rewrite the essay based on painstakingly newly sourced material.
Sometimes I would stop abruptly in the midst of my hectic schedule and think back to his offer of calling him if I had any questions. He had even mentioned it twice so surely he wasn’t just being polite. I knew if I sought his help, he would definitely explain things to me patiently, just like he used to as my cousin’s tutor. Then my motive for picking his topic would be realised.
However at this juncture, no matter how thick-skinned I was, I couldn’t bring myself to do so.
He had already demonstrated so definitively that his heart was taken.
translation has been posted without the permission of the translator.
Prof was very pleased with my second attempt. Apart from pointing out a few areas to improve on, it was more or less ready for submission.
When I had finished editing it again, it was time for the vivas.
It was end May.
In another two weeks, I would officially graduate.