Baris chuckled. "Only one night outside and already you"re tired of it? How will you survive seeing the world at this rate?"
She giggled. "I came prepared. I brought my entire dowry with me." She hefted her pack.
Baris heard the clink of coin. He smiled. "A teapot, money--what else did you bring with you?"
"Just my desires," she answered.
Baris felt his smile freeze, although his heart pounded in sudden antic.i.p.ation. "Your--desires?"
Deirdre blushed. "To see the world, Baris. What did you think I meant?"
He shook his head, chastising himself, then turned to the sideboard. "I"m going to get some water to wash with."
"All right. Would you like me to make some tea when you get back?"
He nodded and quickly left the room. Once in the hallway, he took a moment to compose himself. What was wrong with him? He couldn"t believe what had just happened. For just a brief moment, he had actually felt a sharp flame of l.u.s.t for Deirdre. And earlier, when she had touched him, he had experienced a rush of desire. Did his vows to Anika mean nothing? Perhaps she was right after all. Perhaps he had mistaken l.u.s.t for love and now was being drawn to a new, more exciting woman without even being aware of it. Had Anika seen it, recognized his straying attention? Had it been her unspoken grief over his emotional desertion that had brought on her illness?
No, he couldn"t believe that. He loved Anika, needed her, wanted her. Only her. He was just tired and upset. He shook his head and went in search of the water.
When he returned, he felt more in control, but that swiftly left him when he saw how Deirdre was clothed. She stood before the hearth, the light from the fire piercing straight through her long white nightgown. Her generously curved body was perfectly outlined. Baris stood just inside the doorway, one hand gripping the doork.n.o.b, the other the pitcher of water. She turned to him, smiling, then shook out her hair so that it rippled over her shoulders, falling to either side of her full, round b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Baris swallowed hard and set the water down on the nearest table with a thud.
Deirdre"s smile faded. "What"s wrong? You don"t look well."
"N...no," Baris stammered. "I"m fine. Really." He ma.s.saged his temples gently. His head was suddenly pounding as hard as his heart. He forced his gaze from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and looked into her eyes. "Deirdre, I don"t think this is a good idea. Sharing a room, I mean."
"Why not?" she asked, her tone innocent. "The only thing safer than sharing a room with a happily married man is sharing a room with your own brother."
Baris managed to pull his gaze away from her, angered at his body"s response to her sensuality. "Still, I think it would be best if I bed down in the barn."
"That"s silly!" she protested. "Besides, I"m not sure I would feel comfortable being here alone. You make me feel protected. And besides, you did promise to bleed me tonight. Remember?"
Baris had forgotten. He barely managed to contain his moan of despair. He was already reacting to her presence. It would only get more intense if he bled her. He forced his thoughts to Anika, disgusted with himself for his lack of control. He shook his head.
"Not tonight, Deirdre," he said firmly. "I...I need to go out. I will inform the innkeeper that you are here alone and have him make certain you are safe. You can bolt the door as well. The room is on the second floor. No one should be able to gain entry through a window, but you should bolt that as well. There"s enough wood to last the night. Order up whatever you wish for dinner. I will find my own. You will be fine."
"But Baris, you..."
"No! Not tonight, Deirdre. Please." Without another word, he s.n.a.t.c.hed up his cloak and bolted from the room.
He didn"t slow his pace until he was in the dark streets, well away from the inn. It didn"t even occur to him that he hadn"t stopped to talk to the innkeeper as he"d said he would. He had suddenly been so desperate to simply get away from Deirdre, from the temptation she so inexplicably now presented, that he could think of nothing else.
Except his need to feed. She had been right about that. He was feeling the urge more strongly than he had in a long time. It was probably because he had gone without for so long. What he had taken from Anika two days ago had only served to whet his appet.i.te.
Irritation p.r.i.c.ked him. He had the perfect source to relieve his hunger and he wasn"t making use of it. Deirdre needed to be bled; he needed the blood she offered. He should be strong enough to feed without wanting more from her. The love he felt for Anika should make him strong enough.
The irritation turned to annoyance as he strode through the dark streets, not really conscious of his surroundings. He forced his thoughts away from Deirdre, from the temptation of Deirdre, to Thale. Was his son recovering? Or was he now sick with whatever ailed Anika? Would Anika indeed try to get to him, remove him from the Lair with the help of some other Vector, offer her blood, her body, just to deprive Baris of his child? And if she did, would she then disappear with Thale?
Pain sliced into Baris" heart. No. He wouldn"t let her do that. He loved his son with a pa.s.sion he hadn"t known he possessed. He couldn"t live not knowing where Thale was. He had told Darius nothing about Anika"s behavior, though why he wasn"t sure. True, it was no secret that the Vector Sovereign would have preferred that Vector and human not marry. He had not protested much when Jaeger had taken Rhiannon as his wife, but then again Jaeger was half-human. Baris was not. He was full Vector and, though he had been created from the prior Sovereign"s seed, that made no difference to Darius. Baris was a Vector and he was bound by the reigning Sovereign"s rule.
Why he had even been allowed to wed Anika he didn"t know. He suspected he had caught Darius in a rare mood of flexibility. However, after their union, Darius had stopped any further intermarriages. He had cited the mortality factor; the emotional needs of humans that Vectors didn"t share, the fact that a continuing pattern of intermarriages could condemn the Vector race to annihilation if too many mixed families denied their children the means of achieving their Vector heritage.
Still, Darius had never shown any animosity toward Anika. Or toward Thale. He seemed to care for the child much the way a proud grandfather would. And had shown it by taking in Thale without question. Would he then stand aside and allow Anika access to her son? Or would he stop her? Question her?
Baris needed to speak further with Darius, to talk to the Vector Sovereign about his dilemma, to make sure that Anika was not given the opportunity to spirit the child away. But first, he needed strength. And for that he needed blood.
He stopped walking, taking in his surroundings. His blind steps had taken him to the village"s tavern district. Drunken men stumbled through the streets, pawing at wh.o.r.es who giggled and staggered with them into run-down inns. Thieves stole through the shadows, rifling the pockets of those dropped by drink. The thought of taking blood from one of the drunks or wh.o.r.es disgusted him. And most of the thieves were not much more savory-looking. Most were probably diseased, as well. With a heavy sigh, he turned back toward the inn. He would be quick, he told himself.
And professional. He would take only what blood he needed to both regain his own strength and to ease her illness. And that was all he would take. It had to be.
CHAPTER 5.
He found Deirdre asleep in the chair before the hearth. The firelight played over her dark locks and creamy complexion, but memories of Anika strengthened Baris" resolution. His heart ached for his beloved, ached to know where she was, in what condition. He vowed he would search for her again tomorrow. The longer she went without being bled, the more powerful the scent of iron would be. He should be able to find her on that alone.
He hung his cloak and approached the hearth quietly. A teapot simmered on the crank, emitting enticing spicy aromas. Baris picked up a cloth and poured a mug of the amber liquid. It burned a path to his stomach, but took the chill from his body. There was no cot. Apparently the best the innkeeper could do was a wide divan, placed tantalizingly close to the bed. Baris moved it away, drawing it quietly up beside the chair Deirdre slumbered in. He sagged onto the divan and watched Deirdre sleep, as he sipped at the tea.
The beverage left his tongue tingling, his throat soothed yet begging for more. He downed what he had left and poured another cupful, then sat back to brood again on the change that had come over his wife. He ransacked his memory for what he might have said or done to trigger it, some event that could have affected her without his being aware, but he couldn"t place the blame on any one thing. Not even himself. He had always been faithful, loving, thoughtful. At least, he thought he had. Perhaps Anika had seen him in a different way. Something had obviously brought about her change of heart.
Up until about five months ago, she had been her usual warm and loving self. She and Baris had been exquisitely happy. They had even talked of adding another child to their family. Their shared pa.s.sion for Thale reflected their pa.s.sion for each other. They could barely keep their hands off one another.
Now? It was as if there was an icy chasm between them, with no bridge in sight. Baris didn"t want to lose Anika. Yet, he couldn"t bear the idea of staying with her the way it was. Something had to change.
His gaze drifted again to Deirdre. She shifted slightly and her gown fell open, exposing her long, white, slender neck and chest. Baris took a long drink of his tea, averting his gaze, but it crept back as if of its own accord. His breath quickened as his body responded to her closeness, her scent. He could now smell the iron on her. She was right. She did need to be bled. With a trembling hand he leaned forward, stretched his long arm out and touched her.
She came awake with a start, then smiled dreamily upon seeing him. "I"m glad you came back," she whispered.
"So am I," he replied, pulling back. He finished off the tea and set his cup aside, tipping his head at the teapot. "That was very good. Was it a special blend?"
She smiled slowly and nodded. "One I made up. It"s wonderful for chasing the chill from your bones." Her voice was deep, sultry. Or was he only imagining it?
"Indeed it is." He smiled at her apologetically, forcing aside the urge to touch her further. "Deirdre, I came back for a reason. You said you needed to be bled after using your magic earlier. I need your blood. I would like to return to the Lair and talk further with Darius about Thale and Anika. I don"t have the magical strength to do that right now."
"It"s yours for the taking," she told him, sitting up straighter. Her gown slid down her shoulders, almost baring her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
Baris swallowed hard, forcing his gaze away. He was not quite sure how to go about the whole procedure. He had promised himself that he would be quick and professional, but just the thought of touching her was sending chills racing through him. And her state of semi-nudity was unsettling to say the least. She must have guessed his uneasiness, for she rose, pulled her gown closed, and settled next to him on the chaise. She tossed her hair aside and grinned.
He stared at her, hoping that she wouldn"t notice the shallow quickness of his breathing. As much as he chastised himself, he couldn"t control the way his body was betraying him. Slowly, he put one arm around her, shivering at the smooth softness of her skin. Her cheeks were aglow, her eyes no less, sparkling in the firelight. She was radiantly beautiful and Baris reached his other hand to touch her silken tresses.
Quick and professional, his mind screamed. Take her, his body argued.
With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled her close and bit into her neck. Her blood was unlike anything he had ever tasted. It filled his senses, made him both hot and cold at the same time, set him trembling with desire. She leaned into him with a small gasp, wrapping her arms about his neck, tangling her fingers into his dark hair, pressing against him. Each little pull of his locks sent pain and pleasure vying for attention in Baris" mind.
He didn"t want to let her go, yet finally he forced himself back and away, his heart racing, his blood pounding in his ears. She frowned at him, confused.
"What"s wrong?"
He shook his head, reeling. "I don"t know. I"m just dizzy. It"s nothing, I"m sure." He adjusted his clothing, embarra.s.sed by his obvious desire to have her. "Deirdre, I--I didn"t mean for this--well, I didn"t mean--"
She shushed him with one long finger to his lips. "I know. I understand a lot more than you think. It"s between you and me. Anika will never know."
Mention of his wife brought his guilt back. By the Sovereign! What had he been thinking? He had never been unfaithful, never betrayed his wife before. Why should he now harbor such thoughts? Was he that angry with her? That desperate for someone to fill her place? Was he really that much of a Vector that he couldn"t keep his thoughts and emotions centered on one woman? He rose, self-recrimination hammering at him. Again, he staggered dizzily, then collapsed onto the bed, sleep pulling at him.
He had wanted to do something, but he couldn"t remember what. He was just so dreadfully tired all of a sudden. He needed to sleep. He couldn"t concentrate when he was so tired. His need for rest seemed to overpower everything else.
"If you"re going to sleep," Deirdre said softly. "Then do it right."
She pulled his tunic over his head, then pulled back the covers on the bed. He rolled onto his back, the cool freshness of the sheets welcome on his hot skin, as she tugged off his boots.
"Your breeches should come off as well," Deirdre said with a small smile. "Otherwise, they"ll not be fit to travel in tomorrow."
"No," he said at once. "No, I--I think I"d better leave them on."
She shrugged. "Suit yourself. I"ll be sleeping on the divan anyway."
"No," he protested weakly. "You should have the bed." He tried to rise but could not seem to get his body to obey.
Deirdre merely smiled and moved away. "It makes more sense this way, Baris. I"m the smaller of us. Good night, and thank you."
She moved out of his range of sight and Baris fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.
He woke the next morning with a roaring head and a sick stomach. His thoughts were scattered and confused. But when his gaze fell on the woman lying beside him, snugged against his side, cheek pressed against his bare chest, his memories returned with a sickening rush. He bolted from the bed as if the bedclothes were on fire, wakening Deirdre in the process. She looked up at him with sleepy eyes.
"I"m sorry," she mumbled. "I got cold. The fire went out."
Baris" gaze flew to the cold hearth. He stumbled toward it and threw some wood and kindling on. With shaking hands, he coaxed it to flame, and it gradually took the chill from the room. Deirdre watched from the bed, her gown hugging her body, outlining every delicious curve. Baris averted his gaze, his mouth going dry.
"Now, if I could have done that--" she said, pointing at the fire with a smile.
Baris crouched on one knee and peered into the teapot. It was empty. He glanced over at Deirdre. "Think you could brew up some more tea? I could use it. I"m feeling a bit unsettled this morning. I"ll go down and arrange breakfast."
She nodded, climbing from the bed. Her gown was unlaced at the top and fell open to both sides, again almost exposing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, although she seemed not to notice. Baris swallowed hard, got back on his feet and reached for his tunic. He slipped it on, tied the sash and with one last glance at Deirdre, left the room.
Outside, in the dark hallway, he took a moment to compose himself. He raked his fingers through his unruly dark hair and rubbed at his face. Guilt tormented him. What had he done? Anything? Nothing? He couldn"t remember. All he knew was that he had wakened with Deirdre in his arms. Had he made love to her? No. He shook his head. He would know, wouldn"t he? By the Sovereign! Perhaps he had no right to try to win back Anika after his behavior last night. After what might have happened during the dark hours. He couldn"t keep such a secret from her. If he ever found her and they returned home, he would confess everything before Deirdre or someone else could tell her. Would she forgive him, understand that it had meant nothing, that he had been driven by his exhaustion and his need for magic to find her? Or would she order him once again to leave her?
And what of Thale? Had Darius spoken the truth that he would recover, or was he lost as well? That thought left Baris weak-kneed and trembling. He Illusioned himself and stumbled down the stairs to the front counter, where the innkeeper was already at work.
"Good morn, sir," the man greeted him, with a smile. The smile faded when he took in Baris" complexion. Apparently, even the illusion couldn"t completely disguise his condition. "My goodness! You look ill, sir. Might I fetch you a healer?"
Baris shook his head, sending little daggers of pain shooting through it. "No, I"m fine. But I would like to order breakfast. Bread, eggs, a bit of bacon or beef, if you have it." He paused, as his stomach rumbled loudly. "Make it ample. I"m quite hungry."
"Tea?"
"No. My companion prepares her own. Thank you." Baris turned and dragged himself back up the stairs. The effort was exhausting. He barely made it to the room.
Deirdre looked up at him as he staggered inside and collapsed on the bed. She approached with a worried countenance and a steaming mug of tea. "Here, this should soothe you."
He propped himself up and accepted the tea with shaking hands. The first sip was welcome. It coated his mouth and tongue, slid easily down his stinging throat, swirled through his stomach leaving it warm and comforted. He leaned his head back against the headboard with a sigh.
"Thank you, Deirdre," he murmured. "I don"t know what"s gotten into me." He took another sip, relishing the relief it provided. "How do you know how to brew these different teas?"
She shrugged, perching on the edge of the bed near his feet. "I study. And I experiment. I have to admit that some of my experiments haven"t turned out so well." She giggled as if remembering some of the worst.
Baris smiled. "Well, I thank you for discovering this particular one. It"s doing the trick. My stomach feels better already and my headache is starting to fade as well. I wasn"t sure that I would be able to continue my search for Anika today but now I think I will."
For a moment Deirdre stiffened, then she sighed. "I can"t imagine where she would have gone to. This is the closest village, yet I didn"t see her anywhere."
"See her? When did you go looking?"
"Last eve, after you left. I tried scrying for her again."
"Then that"s why you were so tired! You used more magic. Deirdre, I am very grateful, but I don"t want you to make yourself sick trying to find Anika. This is my problem, not yours. You are along for the adventure, nothing more."
She grinned at him, tipping her head to reveal the two small bite marks on her neck. "Nothing more?"
He felt the color rush to his face. "All right, I concede to that. After a look at the citizens of this village, I wouldn"t trust anyone but you. I would have been a fool to reject your offer." He paused, then added. "But, I must apologize for my actions. I am sorry."
"Don"t apologize, Baris," Deirdre said quietly. "Nothing happened."
The words sent a wave of relief through Baris. He watered it with another long sip of the pungent tea.
"And besides, " Deirdre went on. "An apology makes me feel--well, ugly."
He gasped. "Ugly! You are far from that, Deirdre! Very far. You are exquisitely beautiful. It"s no wonder that Holt is so taken with you."
She grimaced. "Please, don"t mention Holt."
Baris paused. "He is your betrothed, is he not?"
"No! Not yet, anyway. And if I have my way about it, he never will be. I will not be sold to any man."
"Sold? I hardly think you were sold."
"What"s the difference?" she demanded. "My father offered me to Holt as if I were no more than a commodity, another sheep or goat to fatten Holt"s herd. And he accepted me as such. I will not become just another piece of property to Holt. I won"t."
Baris studied her thoughtfully. "I don"t know a lot about clan custom, that"s true," he said. "But I don"t agree with forcing any woman to marry someone she does not love." A heavy sigh escaped him. "And I am perhaps to blame for just that. I may have forced Anika into this marriage. She may not have wanted me at all. I was so entranced with her, with her beauty both inside and out, that I possessed her. I may have even used my Vector magic. I don"t know anymore."
Deirdre looked over at him, her eyes wide with innocent confusion. "Your magic?"
"Yes. I can use it to enslave a person"s will. That"s often how Vectors attain their..." He broke off. He didn"t want to say "victims", but he couldn"t think of another word for it. He shook his head and drained the tea from his mug, then looked up as a knock sounded at the door. "Ah, that must be breakfast. And just in time. I"m starved." He rose from the bed, opened the door and accepted the breakfast tray from the serving wench.