CHAPTER 21.
"I can"t do this," Baris said, turning away.
Vail turned him back around. "Yes, you can. Anika"s been waiting for you."
"But, Vail, how can I face her?"
"She knows everything, Baris," Baul said.
"Then there"s nothing left to say," Baris mumbled, though he knew in his heart that wasn"t true. He looked up as another Vector strode toward him. Quentin. Baris had thought it very strange that Quentin had turned out to be the Vector harboring Anika, caring for her, helping her recover. The fact was, she had shown up at his house in pursuit of Deirdre and Baris. The thought that Anika had been following him, searching for him, warmed Baris" heart. At the same time, it sent more guilt and despair raging through him. He recalled days when he hadn"t even thought of her at all.
Quentin had listened to her story, remembering Baris and Deirdre well. But when he told Anika that he had sent them away, she had collapsed, finally overcome by her fatigue and grief. Quentin had taken her in, had contacted Darius and then had gently nurtured Anika back to health. To Baris" vast relief, Quentin had not even tried to seduce Anika. He had fed on her only to help her, with no other ramifications. Baris wished he had the same control over his own body. He found himself viewing Quentin with grat.i.tude and respect. And embarra.s.sment. He could not forget his first meeting with the Vector Elder, the scene he had caused. Even being here in Quentin"s home was trying, and Baris wished he could simply escape. But there would be no escape. He had to face both Quentin and Anika.
"You haven"t gone in yet?" Quentin asked now, a smile quirking his lips.
"I...I can"t, Elder," Baris stammered.
"Nonsense." Quentin took his arm, opened the door and fairly shoved him into the bedchamber.
Baris gasped as Anika rose from a long armless couch near the fireplace. Her pale-blue silk gown swirled around her ankles, hugging her form. Her hair hung in soft, dark curls past her shoulders and her blue eyes were fixed on his. Gone were the dark circles of illness, the pale complexion. She was vibrant and healthy, her cheeks made rosy by both the fire and the blush that crept over them as she viewed Baris.
Baris couldn"t take his eyes from her and actually stumbled when Quentin gave him another gentle shove before retreating and closing the door.
For a long moment neither of them spoke, then Anika extended her hand. Baris sobbed and covered his face with both hands.
"Ani, I"m so sorry," he wept. "I"m so sorry."
He heard her approach, stiffened as her warm hands touched his, pulling them away from his face. He stared into the blue depths of her eyes, seeing no condemnation, only love. With another sob, he gathered her into his arms, murmuring his apologies over and over. She held to him as tightly as he did to her. Long moments pa.s.sed before Baris regained his composure.
"Where were you, Ani?" he asked, pulling back. "I looked and looked for you. Where did you go?"
She sighed, and pulled him toward the couch. They sank down together, Baris holding to her hands in desperation. After a moment, she spoke. "I want to apologize, Baris," she said softly. "For all of those horrible things I said to you, for the way I acted."
"You?" Baris cried. "You are not the one who needs to apologize, Ani. I am. While I cannot ask you to forget, or to even accept me again, I would ask that you forgive me."
She stroked his hair from his forehead. "Forgive you? Yes. Not accept you? I love you, Baris. You"re the other part of my soul. I couldn"t live without you." She wiped the tears from his cheeks, then kissed his hand. "We were both spelled. We have nothing to be guilty over. Nothing."
Baris winced, trying to divert the conversation. "Where did you go, Ani? I searched for you, but I couldn"t find you. Where did you go?"
"Away, Baris. Just away. I had no choice. Deirdre was too strong for me. She controlled me too completely. I couldn"t resist her. At least, not until much later. The further I got from her, the more she was involved in working her spells on you, the weaker her hold over me became. I was finally able to throw off her spells but it took me many more days to regain enough of my health to travel. Then, I followed you." She gave him a small smile. "Did you really think I would give up on you so easily?"
He was silent a moment, his heart heavy with despair. He had no answer for that. And the question only served to further his own guilt over everything that had happened. All the while his beautiful wife was fighting for her own life, and his, he was enjoying himself with fancy clothing, food, entertainment, and Deirdre. He looked away, unable to meet her gaze.
Anika sighed. "I know all about Deirdre, Baris. Everything. The Spells, the stories...everything. Including--" She paused, as if unsure how to continue. Finally, she tipped her chin up, took a deep breath and said, "Including the fact that she now carries your child."
Baris sucked in his breath in horror. He had not known, had no idea, had not even considered the possibility.
"No," he breathed. "No, she...no!" He pulled away, embarra.s.sment and agonizing remorse flooding through him. He buried his face in his hands, his heart twisting in agony, his words clouded by his tears. "Forgive me, Ani, please forgive me."
"Baris," she whispered. She again pulled his hands away from his face. "I do not condemn you for this. You forget. I know Deirdre. I know what she is capable of."
"But this..." He shook his head. "I have betrayed you, our vows. Oh, Anika, for so long I never knew what it meant to love someone, to really love them. But over the past few weeks, I have learned so much. I love you and Thale with all of my heart. I cannot see my life without either of you."
"And I cannot see my life without you," Anika told him. "I love you just as deeply, Baris."
He stared into her eyes, tears blurring his vision. "How can you, Ani?" he whispered. "I"m a failure, in every way." He sagged at the mere word. He hadn"t told her about the hack, had made Vail promise not to as well. He didn"t want her to know. It was something he wanted to conquer on his own. Perhaps then he would feel in control again. He knew it was going to take a long time to regain his self-esteem, his pride, his acceptance of himself.
"Baris, the only way you will fail me is if you let Deirdre win at this. Her only goal was to separate us. Will you let her win?"
"No," he murmured, although he wondered if she already had. Could it ever be the same between him and Anika? How would she be able to forget his unfaithfulness? Especially with Deirdre carrying his child? The thought was almost too much to bear.
"Deirdre"s child--" he started, unsure exactly what he wanted to say, to do.
Anika stopped him. "Darius told me it would be raised in the Lair."
"In the Lair?" Baris couldn"t seem to get his emotions to settle. He felt both a great relief at that news and a great sadness.
"Papa?"
Baris whirled as Thale toddled into the room. Vail winked at Baris and pulled the door closed. Baris fell to one knee and took Thale into his arms. "Thale! My boy!" He kissed the child gently, repeatedly, until Thale pushed away. Baris stared at him, his heart swelling with love. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, his voice cracking on the words, emotion threatening to close up his throat.
Thale nodded, then stuck his finger out. "Bite gone."
Baris stared at the chubby little finger, tears blurring his vision. "Bite gone," he repeated, and kissed Thale"s finger, then once again drew the boy into his arms. He sat down on the couch, holding Thale on his lap.
The little boy put one chubby arm around Baris" neck, the other around Anika"s, and drew his parents together in a tight hug. "All better now," he announced.
Baris looked into his wife"s eyes, saw only love and pa.s.sion in the blue depths and his heart again melted for this woman, his lifemate.
"All better now," she whispered.
Baris smiled, and brought his lips to hers in a gentle kiss speaking of forgiveness, acceptance and love from the heart.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR.
JennaKay Francis has been writing since she was 12 years old. She has written in many different genres - science fiction, children"s, mainstream, poetry - but truly found her voice and love in fantasy. She writes fantasy adventure, fantasy romance, dark fantasy and children"s picture books.
Her first official publication was a children"s poem that was the Grand Prize winner in a contest sponsored by Half-Price Books. Her prize was a $500.00 gift certificate at Half Price Books: something she took great delight in spending. She has been published in several local newsletters, several print magazines, as well as numerous online magazines in both fiction and non-fiction.
You can find a listing of her books on her homepage at lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, their three delightful children, two wild cats, a Chihuahua that thinks he"s really a dog, one rat, one anole and a several tanks of tropical fish, frogs and newts. Oh, yeah, and a forest full of elves, fairies and magic.
JennaKay is also Writers Exchange"s Senior editor.
JennaKay writes Young Adult fantasy, fantasy/romance, vampire novels and children"s picture books. To keep track of all Jenna"s numerous releases, go to her author page Writers Exchange"s bookshop "Readers Eden":