"Uh-the b.u.t.ton?" I said.
"Yes."
She put the b.u.t.ton into her pocket and kept the others in her hand.
"You"re going to get attuned yourself if you keep the b.u.t.ton that way, aren"t you?"
"No," she said, "I won"t."
"Why not?"
"There"s a reason. Excuse me while I find a container for the others, and someone to transport them."
"Won"t that person get attuned?"
"It takes a while."
"Oh."
"Have some more coffee-or something."
She turned and left. I ate a piece of cheese. I tried to figure out whether I"d gotten more answers or more new questions during the course of our conversation. I tried to ht some of the new pieces into the old puzzle.
"Father?"
I turned, to see who had spoken. There was no one in sight.
"Down here."
A coin-sized disk of light lay within a nearby flower bed, otherwise empty save for a few dry stalks and leaves. The light caught my attention when it moved slightly.
"Ghost?" I asked.
"Uh-huh," came the reply from among the leaves. "I was waiting to catch you when you were alone. I"m not sure I trust that woman."
"Why not?"
"She doesn"t scan right, like other people. I don"t know what it is. But that"s not what I wanted to talk to you about."
"What, then?"
"Uh-well, did you mean what you said about not really intending to turn me off?"
"Jeez! After all the sacrifices I made for you! Your education and everything. . . . And lugging all your d.a.m.n components out to a place like that where you"d be safe! How can you ask me that?"
"Well, I heard Random tell you to do it "
"You don"t do everything you"re told either, do you? Especially when it comes to a.s.saulting me when I just wanted to check out a few programs? I deserve a little more respect than that!"
"Uh-yeah. Look, I"m sorry."
"You ought to be. I went through a lot of c.r.a.p because of you."
"I looked for you for several days, and I couldn"t find you."
"Crystal caves are no fun."
"I don"t have much time now. . . ." The light flickered, faded almost to the point of vanishing, returned to full brilliance. "Will you tell me something fast?"
"Shoot."
"That fellow who was with you when you came out this way-and when you left-the big red-haired man?"
"Luke. Yes?"
The light grew dimmer again.
"Is it okay to trust him?" Ghost"s voice came faintly, weakly.
"No!" I shouted. "That would be d.a.m.n stupid!"
Ghost was gone, and I couldn"t tell whether he"d heard my answer.
"What"s the matter?" Vinta"s voice, from above me.
"Argument with my imaginary playmate," I called out.
Even from that distance I could see the expression of puzzlement on her face. She sought in all directions about the patio and then, apparently persuading herself that I was indeed alone, she nodded.
"Oh," she said. Then, "I"ll be along in a little while."
"No hurry," I answered.
Where shall wisdom be found, and where is the place of understanding?
If I knew, I"d walk over and stand there. As it was, I felt as if I stood in the midst of a large map, surrounded by vague areas wherein were penned the visages of particularly nasty-looking random variables. A perfect place for a soliloquy, if one had anything to say.
I went back inside to use the john. All that coffee.
6.
Well, maybe.
With Julia, I mean.
I sat alone in my room, thinking by candlelight.
Vinta had stirred a few sunken memories to the surface.
It was later on, when we weren"t seeing much of each other. . . .
I"d met Julia first in a Computer Science course I was taking. We"d started seeing each other occasionally, just coffee after cla.s.s and like that, at first. Then more and more frequently, and pretty soon it was serious.
Now it was ending as it had started, a little more each time. . . .
I felt her hand on my shoulder as I was leaving the supermarket with a bag of groceries. I knew it was her and I turned and there was no one there. Seconds later, she hailed me from across the parking lot. I went over and said h.e.l.lo, asked her if she were still working at the software place where she"d been. She said that she wasn"t. I recalled that she was wearing a small silver pentagram on a chain about her neck. It could easily-and more likely should-have been hanging down inside her blouse. But of course I wouldn"t have seen it then, and her body language indicated that she wanted me to see it. So I ignored it while we exchanged a few generalities, and she turned me down on dinner and a movie, though I asked after several nights.
"What are you doing now?" I inquired.
"I"m studying a lot."
"What?"
"Oh, just-different things. I"ll surprise you one of these days."
Again, I didn"t bite, though an over-friendly Irish setter approached us about then. She placed her hand on its head and said, "Sit!" and it did.
It became still as a statue at her side, and remained when we left later. For all I know, there"s a dog skeleton still crouched there, near the cart return area, like a piece of modern sculpture.
It didn"t really seem that important at the time. But in retrospect, I wondered. . . .
We had ridden that day, Vinta and I. Seeing my growing exasperation of the morning, she must have felt a break was in order. She was right. Following a light lunch, when she made the suggestion that we take a ride about the estate, I agreed readily. I had wanted a little more time in which to think before continuing our cross-examination and discourse game. And the weather was good, the countryside attractive.
We made our way along a curling hail through arbors, which led at length into the northern hills from where we were afforded long views across the rugged and cross-hatched land down to the sun-filled sea. The sky was full of winds and wisps of cloud, pa.s.sing birds. . . . Vinta seemed to have no special destination in mind, which was all right with me. As we rode, I recalled a visit to a Napa Valley winery, and the next time we drew rein to rest the horses I asked her, "Do you bottle the wine here at the estate? Or is that done in town? Or in Amber?"
"I don"t know," she said.
"I thought you grew up here."
"I never paid attention."
I bit back a remark about patrician att.i.tudes. Unless she were joking, I couldn"t see how she"d fail to know something like that.
She caught my expression, though, and added immediately, "We"ve done it various ways at various times. I"ve been living in town for several years now. I"m not sure where the princ.i.p.al bottling has been done recently."
Nice save, because I couldn"t fault it. I hadn"t intended my question as any sort of trap, but I felt as if I had just touched on something. Possibly from the fact that she didn"t let it go at that. She went on to say that they shipped large casks all over the place and often sold them in that fashion. On the other hand, there were smaller customers who wanted the product bottled. . . . I stopped listening after a time. On the one hand, I could see it, coming horn a vintner"s daughter. On the other, it was all stuff I could have made up myself on the spot. There was no way for me to check on any of it. I got the feeling that she was trying to snow me, to cover something. But I couldn"t figure what.
"Thanks," I said when she paused for breath, and she gave me a strange look but took the hint and did not continue.
"You have to speak English," I said in that language, "if the things you told me earlier are true."
"Everything I told you is true," she replied, in unaccented English.
"Where"d you learn it?"
"On the shadow Earth where you went to school."
"Would you care to tell me what you were doing there?"
"I was on a special mission."
"For your father? For the Crown?"
"I"d rather not answer you at all than lie to you."
"I appreciate that. Of course, I must speculate."
She shrugged.
"You said you were in Berkeley?" I asked.
A hesitation, then, "Yes."
"I don"t remember ever seeing you around."
Another shrug. I wanted to grab her and shake her. Instead, I said, "You knew about Meg Devlin. You said you were in New York-"
"I believe you"re getting ahead of me on questions."
"I didn"t know we were playing the game again. I thought we were just talking."
"All right, then: Yes."
"Tell me one more thing and perhaps I can help you."
She smiled. "I don"t need any help. You"re the one with problems:"
"May I, anyway?"
"Go ahead and ask. Every time you question me you tell me things I wish to know."
"You knew about Luke"s mercenaries. Did you visit New Mexico, too?"
"Yes, I"ve been there."
"Thanks," I said.
"That"s all?"
"That"s all."
"You"ve come to some conclusion?"