"LosCaillosisashortdistancenorth-eastofLosAngeles."Isaid."Ithoughtofstayingabitfurthernorth,onthecoast."
"Ifyoulike."
"CometoTheVacationer,GrandBeach,SantaBarbara,then.I"llmeetyoutheretomorrow."
Herepeatedtheaddress."Who"spaying?"hesaid.
"b.u.t.tressLifeandDaveTellercanfight.i.toutbetweenthem.I"llputthemotelonTeller"s.e.xpenses.Canyouwringthefareoutofyouroffice?"
"Iguessso."Hissighcamewearilyoverthewire."Mywifeandkidsaren"tgoingtolikeit.IwasfixingtotakethemonapicnicthisSunday."
"Postponeitaweek,"Isuggested.
"It"sbeenpostponedtwicealready,onyouraccount."
"Oh."
Afterashortpausehesaid,"Aroundsix,tomorrow,localtime.Thatdo?"
"Thatwoulddoverywell"
"Seeyou,"hesaidbriefly,andputdownhisreceiverwithacrash.IreturnedtheTellerinstrumentmorekindlytoitscradleandsurveyedthegreenandtomatoroom.
Nothingtodo.
Mixedadrinkwithprecision,anddrankit.Wandereddowntothepool,thoughtaboutaswiminthedusk,andcouldn"tbebotheredtoundress.Wentbacktothehouse,andateadinnercookedandservedbyEva,whochatteredsolonginherpleasureathavingsomeonetospeaktoinherownlanguagethatIheartilyregrettedI"deverusedit.Wisheddesperatelyshewouldstopandgoaway,andwhenatlastshedid,thatwasnogoodeither.
Triedtoreadandturnedsixpageswithouttakinginaword.Wanderedrestlesslyagainintotheblackvelvetdeepgreengarden,andsatinoneofthechairsbythepool,lookingatdarknessinsideandout.Unreasonable,Ithoughtdrearily,thatIshouldn"thaverecoverednormallyfromlosingCaroline,thatIdidn"tvaluethefreedomothermenenvied,thatIcouldn"tbecontentwithallIhad:cruelthatdepressionwasnorespecterofstatusorachievementandstrucksodeepthatnoworldlysuccesscouldalleviateit.
Greatfame,universalhonour,drovesofpersonalfriendshaddemonstrablyfailedtosaveawholestringofgeniusesfromitsclutches,andeveryyearitbaggeditsthousandsfromunimportantpeoplelikemewhowouldneverseetheirnameinprintorlights,anddidn"tnecessarilywantto.Probablydepressionwasanillnessasdefiniteasjaundice,andonedaytheywouldinoculatebabiesagainst.i.t.IsupposedIcouldcountmyselfluckynottohavehaditinitsacuteform,whereitsgrey-blackoctopustentaclesreachedoutandsuckedintoeverycornerofthespirituntilquitequicklylifebecameliterallyunbearable,andthehighjumpsuddenlypresenteditselfwithblindingclarityastheonlylogical,theonlypossiblerelief.
Iwouldn"tcometothatday,ifIcouldhelpit.Iwouldnot.
TheVacationerwasrightdownonthebeach,withthesoundofthebrightbluePacificcreepinginamurmurunderthetransistors,theairconditioning,thecivilisedchatter,thesquallingofchildrenandtherevvingofcars.Therewerenooceanroomsleft.WaltandI,nextdoortoeachother,overlookedtheparkinglot.
EuniceandLynniewereoutwhenIarrivedandstilloutwhenWaltcheckedinatsix,b.u.t.theywerebackwhenIwentdownwithhimforadrinkbeforedinner.IhadleftanoteatthedeskforEunice,butIhadn"ttoldWaltshewouldbethere.HestoppeddeadinhistrackswhenhesawhersittingwithLynnie,andturnedonmeanarrow-eyedcompositeglanceofdislikeandanger.IfI"dtoldhimshewastobewithus,hewouldn"thavecome:heknewthatIknewit.Hewasent.i.tledtohisrage.
Eunicewas,however,thewifeofaverygoodclientofhisfirm.Heswallowedhisfeelingslikeapill,andchasedthemdownwithadoublebourboninsilence.EuniceandLynniewereonfrostedlookingdaiquirisandhappywithit.Theybothlookedmarvellous,withhoneybrownskinandalanguoroussun-filledwayofmoving.Euniceworefluorescentgreenwithbitsofgoldatanatomicalpointslikeears,wristsandfeet.Lynniehadacquiredalocalgrownhotpink-orangetunic,andthefewstrapsofhersandalsseemedtobemadeofpolishedsemi-preciousstones.EvenWalt,afterawhile,couldn"ttakehiseyesawayfromthemforlong.
Wehaddinneroutside,underatrellislitbyhundredsoftinymulti-colouredlights,onashallowterracewhichleddirectlyoutontothesand.Eunice"slanguagewasforoncea.s.softastheseabreeze,andconsequentlyasasocialeveningitdevelopedintoareasonablesuccess.
OverthecoffeeIaskedEunicewithacasualnesswhichdrewapiercingglancefromWalt,"HaveyoubyanychanceheardofaracehorsebreedercalledCulhamJamesOffen?"
"Heardofhim?"shesaid."OfcourseIhave.Everyonehas."
"Ihaven"t,"Waltsaidflatly.Onecouldn"texpectcompletecapitulation.Hewasdoingverywell.
"Imean,everyoneinthebloodstockworldwouldhaveheardofhim,"Euniceexplainedwithoutobviouspatience."HehasthatterrificallysuccessfulstallionMoviemaker.AndDavesaysoneoughttothinkofsendingmarestoanotheroneofhis,Centigrade...Thefirstcropoffoalsarewinningtwo-year-oldracesthisseasonallovertheplace.Butquiteapartfromthat,"shesmiledbroadly,"Iguesswe"llbeseeingagooddealofhimfromnowon."
"Er...why?"Iaskeddiffidently.
"Ournewplaceisrightnexttohis."
Walt"smouthfellopenandIstoppedstirringmycoffee.
"Whatdidyousay?"Isaid,feelingmyeyesgoblank,asIknewtheyalwaysdidundershock.
"Ournewplace,wherewe"removingto,isrightacrosstheroadfromOffen.Wecanseehispaddocksfromourbedroomwindows."IgapedinfascinationatEunicewhilesheoutlinedinsuchblissfulignorancethereasonfortheattemptedmurderofherhusband.HehimselfhadtoldmethattheexecutorsofthelateDavisL.Davishadacceptedhistenderforthefarmonlyrecently,duringtheweekbeforeourmomentoustripontheriver.Sothesomething"G.o.ddamstupid"whichhadhappenedtoYolaandMattdive"sschemewasthattheyhaddiscoveredthatofallthepeopleonearthitwastobeDaveTellerwhowastobeOffen"snewcloseneighbour.Theyhaddiscovereditafterthey"dhi-jackedthehorse,ortheywouldn"thavegoneaheadwiththeplan.
"Whyareyoulaughing?"Euniceasked,frowning."What"ssofunny?"
"It"snotfunny,"Iagreed,straighteningmyface."Farfromit.DoyouknowCulhamJamespersonally?"
"Notyet.Doesitmatter?"Shestilllookedpuzzled.
"Itcouldbewisernottomakeclosefriendswithhimintoomuchofahurry."
"Whynot?"
"Mightproveap.r.i.c.klyflower."IhadamentalvisionofDavelookingoutofhisbedroomwindowdayafterday,lookingovertothepaddockswhereChrysalisandAllyxwereletouttograze.Hemightneverhaverecognisedthem.Butalsohemight.CulhamJamessimplycouldn"ttaketherisk.YolaandMatthadflownimmediatelytoEnglandtodisposeofDavealongwayfromtherealsceneofdanger.
WhileAllyxremainedatOrpheusFarmandDavecontinuedmakingactiveplanstomovealongside,theexplosivesituationwouldstillexist.ThoughMattClivemighthavegivenuptemporarily,IferventlyhopedthatRadnor-Halleywouldn"tlettheirvigilanceslideamillimetre.AcalltoKeeblewouldbewise...evenatCalifornia-Londonrates.
"I"mgoingforawalkonthesh.o.r.e,"saidLynnie,kickingoffthepebblysandals."Who"scoming?"
IbeatWalttoitbyquickerreflexes,andcollectedagrimlookfromhimasIlefthimalonewithEunice.Lynnieremarkedonit,grinning,asweambledsilentlyawayonthetricklingsand.
"He"sputoffbythebloodies,"Iexplained."That"sall."
"Shesaysitlessoftenoverhere,"Lynniecommented."Andshedoesn"tdrink,exceptoneortwobeforelunch,untilafterwe"vechangedintheevening.Whyisthat,doyouthink?"
"She"sescapedfromtheLexingtoncage."
"Thatheavenlyhouse...acage?"
"Uhhuh."
"Thenewoneisn"thalfsobeautiful,"sheprotested.
"Itwillbe,whenEunicehasfinished.Andthenthewallswillcloseinagain."
"Anothercage,doyoumean?"Shesoundeduncertain.
"Anothercage,"Iagreed.
"Lifecan"tbejustescapingfromonecageandendingupinanother,"shesaidexplosively,repudiatingviolentlysobleakavision.
"Everyonelivesinsidebars,"Isaid."Thetrickisnottowanttogetout."
"Stopit,"shesaidindistress."Idon"twanttohearthat."
"Theyusedtokeeplinnetsaspets,"Isaid."b.u.t.therearen"tanylinnetsincagesanymore.Budgerigarsinstead.You"llbeallright,littlelinnet."
"Ineverknowwhenyou"rebeingserious."
"Always."
"Buthalfthetimewhatyousayisso...socrazy."
"Lifeisserious,lifeiscrazy.Anythingcrazyisserious,andeverythingseriousiscrazy...I"llraceyoualongtothatbeachhut."
Shebeatmetoitinherbarefeet,andleanedagainsttheroughwoodenwalllaughingandgettingherbreathbackwhileItippedhalfatonofsandoutofmyshoes.Wewalkedonalittlefurther,andthensatdowninthewarmnightandlookedoutacrosstheshadowypeacefulocean.Nolandbetweenusandj.a.pan,halfaworldaway.
"Didyoucomeoutheretobewith...us,ortofindAllyx?"shesaid.
"Both."
Sheshookherhead."YoubroughtWalt.ThatmakesittofindAllyx."
"Waltwouldhavechosentostaysomewhereelse,"Isaid,smiling."SoCaliforniaforAllyx,SantaBarbaraforyou.Satisfied?"
Shemurmuredsomethingunintelligible,andwesatinsilencewhileshescuffedsandintoaheapwithhertoes.
"w.i.l.l.youfindhim,doyouthink?"sheaskedintheend.
"Allyx?Wemightdo."
"When,roughly?"
"Idon"tknow.Tomorrow,maybe."
"Andthen...you"llgohome?"
"Iguess."
"Backtoanoffice..."Shesweptoutanarm,embracingthewidesky.Backtoanoffice,Ithoughtcoldly:andtotheperpetualdiggingintopeople"sprivacy,totheoccasionalsnaringofabentapplicant,todrizzle,toPutney,tothevacuumoftheflat.To,inshort,mynormallife.Thetrickwasnottowanttoslipthroughthebars.
"Whatareyougoingtodo,nowthatyou"veleftschool?"Iasked.
Shesuckedinabreath."Afterthis,alltheoldthingsseemhorriblydreary."
"They"llsoongiveDaveawalkingplaster..."
"Iknow,"shewailed."Don"tthinkIdon"tknow.Iwa.s.supposedtobestartingasecretarialcourseinSeptember...Iutterlydon"twantto,anymore.Whycan"teveryonejustliveonthebeachandbewarmallthetime..."Sherockedwithherarmslacedroundherbentupknees.
"Notenoughbeach."
Shegiggled."Youarejustabouttheleastromanticma.n.a.live.ComesofbeingaCivilServant,Isuppose.LikeDaddy."
Intimewewalkedbackalongbytheedgeoftheseaandpausedwhenwecamelevelwiththemotel.Sheputherhandonmyarmandsimplystoodtherewaiting.Ikissedherforehead,andthenhernose,andfinallyhermouth.Itwasallverygentle,andutterlyunnerving.
"Thisisnogood,"Isaid,takingmyhandsfromhershoulders,"Nogoodatall."
"I"vebeenkissedbefore,"shesaidanxiously."Ireallyhave."
"Thatisn"twhatImeant,"Isaid,halflaughing."You"dqualifyforadiploma.No...it"sjust,littleLynnie,thatwe"realongwayfromhome...andIneverkissbrunettesmorethanonceonaFriday."Iturnedawaytowardsthemotelandjerkedmyheadforhertofollow.ThebestresolutionsintheworldwouldcomeacropperfacedwithsomethinglikeLynnie,andimmediateflightwastheonlycourse.Itdidn"tseemtobepopularwithLynnieherself,butIcouldn"thelpthat.IwalkedherbrisklyupthebeachandmadeajokeaboutwhatWaltwouldbesayingtoEunice,andwearrivedbackinreasonableordertofindthat.i.twasnothing:theyweresittingacrossthetablefromeachotherinamiles-apartsilence.EunicegaveusalongcoollookandWaltoneofdisillusion,andLynniequiteunnecessarilyblushed,confirmingtheirobvioussuspicion.Theharmlesslittlewalkhadn"tbeenagoodideafromanyoneoffourpointsofview.
WaltandIdrovequietlyintoOrpheusFarmthefollowingmorning.Hedidthetalking:athoroughlyprofessionalpieceofwork,insurancepatteratthedouble.Asurveyfornewfireregulations,hegliblyexplained,necessitatedusseeingovertheentireestablishment.
Wesaw.Everystallineverybarn,everyhayloft,everystrawbale,everyinch.WesawMoviemaker.WesawCentigrade.Wemadeagreatmanynotes.
CulhamJamesOffenhimselfescortedusroundthecoolestbarncontaininghisfourprizestallions.Agreatdealofselfsatisfactionsatonhisshoulderslikeanimperviousduck"s-backmantle.Iconsideredthiswithuneasysuspicion.
UncleBarkwasnotonlyamaninhisfiftieswithwhitehair,buthehadagreystationwagoninathirdofhislargegarage.IsawWaltgivingitasidelongglance.UndoubtedlyitwasUncleBarkwhohaddeliveredtheSnailExpresstrailertooldHagstrom"sboyatRockSprings;andverylikelyUncleBarkwhohadfollowedSamHengelman"sva.n.a.longtheturnpike.Impossibletoprove,though,atthisdistance.
Thecolourofhishairwaspremature.Veryfewwrinklesmarkedthesmoothsuntannedface,fromwhichwhiteeyebrowsstoodoutlikeabracketofsnow,nearlymeetingoverthenose.Hiseyelasheswerealsowhite,b.u.t.thealbinonon-pigmentationstoppedshortoftheeyes:notpink,butaclearpaleblue.
Hecarriedhisheadstifflyonathickmuscularneck,andthelargebodybeneaththeairywhiteshirtlookedsolidmorethansoft.Notamantoignoreinanycompany.Aphysiquewhichteemednaturallywithsuccess:andsuccesshadgivenhimanarroganceofexpressionwhereadecenthumilitywouldhavebeenmorefitting.
Thewholefarmhadthehighglossofmoney-no-object.Mathematicallyprecisewhitepaintedwoodrailingsringedthepaddocks,andtheapproachtotheSpanish-stylehousewaslandscapedwithwateredlawnsandpalmsandanoccasionalbedfullofspikyredflowerswithsharppurplishleaves.Wedidn"tpenetratethehouse:Walt"sfireinsuranceonlystretchedtothestabling.
Afterwe"dseenthestallionsOffenhandedusovertohisstudgroom,afairsurprisinglyyoungmanhecalledKiddo,whohadadrawlingwesternvoiceandanairofhavingbeenbornwithouturgency.Everysecondwordwas"uh",andhiswalkwasthirty-twoframesasecond;slowmotion.
"Beenherelong?"Iaskedhim,ashepointedoutthespotlessfoalingstalls.
"Fiveorsixmonths,"hesaid,showingnoresentmentatapersonalquestion;goodnatured,unsuspicious,nosignofnerves.
"Youmustbegood,togetajoblikethissoyoung,"Icongratulatedhim.
Afterapausehesaid,"Igotafeelingforhorses,see?Mares,theyfoaldownnearlyalwaysatnight.Comesfromhavingtogivebirthinthedarkoutinthewild,youunderstand?"
"Whyinthedark?"askedWalt,puzzled.
Anotherpause.Notforadeliberatechoiceofwhatorwhatnottosay,Irealised,butjustamomentofwaitingwhiletheinstinctiveknowledgecoalescedintowords.
"Theydrop"embyday,somehungryhyenacomesalongandkillsthefoalinthefirsthalfhour.Foals,now,they"rereadiertorunatbirththanmostothercritturs,butyou"vegottogive"emahalfhourtodryoff."
"b.u.t.theydon"thavetorun,here,"Waltprotested.
"Naturedon"tknowthat,"Kiddopointedoutreasonably."Anotherthing,maresmostlydroptheirfoalsprettyquick.Don"ttakesomeofthemnotimeatall.Andthen,see,Ialwaysknowwhenamare"sready,andmostoftenIgoouttothestallandmakesureshe"sdoingallright."
"Howdoyouknow?"Iasked,fascinated.
Amuchlongerpause.Thenhesaid,"Idon"tknowhowIknow.Igotafeelingforit.Ijustwakeupsomenightsandthink,thatRoseisaboutready,andIgoonouttoher,andmaybetheresheis,notneedingabitofhelp,ormaybewiththecordroundthefoal"sneck,stranglingit.Ibinwithhorses,see,allmylife."
"Wherewereyoubeforeyoucamehere?"Iasked.
"Uh...allover.HadajobinLexingtonawhileback,b.u.t.theysaidIdidn"tkeepgoodtimeturningupatwork."Hegrinnedsuddenly,abigmischievouslighting-upofthepa.s.sivepatientface."Then...uh...IwaswithafellerinMaryland...hehadabarnwasfallingdownandhoneysucklebreakinghisfencesandcreepingintohiswindows,buthesurehadsomeprettymaresandoneofthemwasthedamofthehorsewhowonthePreaknessayearback.ThoughIdon"tgototheraces,myself."