Chapter 592 - Emotions On The Verge Of Collapse
Memories were present but the places where those memories took birth were no longer what they once were. Even if someone wished to rebuild Yangfang Town and succeeded in making it a replica of its past, nothing would ever be the same again.
The pa.s.sage of time and destruction were probably the two most terrifying laws that existed as no one could really escape them.
Time slowly corroded us, making us suffer step by step as if countless thorns p.r.i.c.ked our feet with every step we took. On the other hand, destruction simply swept over everything mercilessly and somehow or other always hurt us even if we managed to escape from it.
Shangguan Bing Xue did not know how Bai Zemin felt because although his steps were steady and uniform as always, his back at this moment looked a little lonelier than usual. Those wide shoulders that seemed to be able to hold up the heavens on their own had even shrunk a little as if they were tired from taking so many relentless strikes.
But even though she could not understand how he felt, what Shangguan Bing Xue knew for certain was that it was definitely not a nice feeling to see the place where you was born, grew up, and lived most of your life, leveled to the point where there was nothing left of its former glory.
Even though this was the place where he was born and raised, even though it was the place where countless smiles and tears were shed, the main protagonists who formed the story above the stage known as Yangfang Town were gone and the stage had been flattened.
Even Bai Zemin himself did not know how he felt as he stared with lost and dull eyes at the scene in front of him. Of course, he knew that he would find his hometown destroyed; even so, being aware of something was often not enough preparation for when we were faced with the reality we knew we would have to face.
If Bai Zemin had to describe how he was feeling right now, then it would probably be as follows: Lonely, exhausted, beaten down, and maybe, just maybe, a little sad.
Time pa.s.sed and before Bai Zemin realized it several hours had flown by since he had been walking aimlessly.
Shangguan Bing Xue, who had been following him silently but steadily a few steps behind, sighed as she finally realized the reason why he had been continually turning at different intersections.
She took several steps forward, quickening the pace of her walk and catching up with Bai Zemin in a matter of seconds. Then, she grabbed his hand and forced him to stop dead in his tracks.
"Bing Xue?" Bai Zemin looked at her in surprise due to her sudden action.
Shangguan Bing Xue looked at him with kind eyes and gently squeezed his hand as she said in a soft voice, "I know you are afraid to face reality. I also understand your fear because I feel that same fear now and it will surely be many times worse when we reach my home. But... We have to move forward. Staying stuck in a single point is no solution to anything."
Even though both he and she were wearing combat gloves, Bai Zemin could feel Shangguan Bing Xue"s emotions being transmitted to the palm of his hand.
Hearing her words, he was first surprised before smiling bitterly as he shook his head.
"I am so evident?" said Bai Zemin as he tousled his hair with his other hand.
With the same gentle smile on her beautiful face, a smile capable of charming even ghosts and a smile that Bai Zemin had never seen on her face before, Shangguan Bing Xue kept her blue eyes fixed on his black eyes as she said softly, "It"s not that you"re obvious. It"s that your thoughts and feelings are the thoughts and feelings that anyone would feel in this kind of situation."
Shangguan Bing Xue realized that although Bai Zemin was continuously walking around the now destroyed Yangfang Town, there was always an area in which he avoided moving.
Considering what this place meant and represented to him, it was not genius to realize that Bai Zemin feared going to the place where he once lived. He dreaded facing seeing his home turned to ruins and even more dreaded finding his loved ones lifeless nearby.
There was no shortage of murdered zombie corpses that were found as they walked and there was no shortage of human bodies mutilated by some beast. It was clear that in this place as in any other part of the world had been fought one or more fierce battles for survival, and what Bai Zemin feared most was to find the corpse of a member of his family.
Bai Zemin took a deep breath and held his breath for several seconds before letting the air escape from his lungs. A flash of resolve shone in his midnight-black eyes and he said slowly, "Thank you for that. I"m fine now."
Shangguan Bing Xue forced a smile and nodded, letting go of his hand slowly. She didn"t say anything since even though Bai Zemin said he was fine now, she knew it was impossible to be really fine. She didn"t want to disrespect the resolution he had managed to find after so much effort and even less worry him more, therefore, she again took slow steps backward while looking at him as if she was afraid he would disappear or do something crazy the next moment.
"Am I a crystal vase now?" Bai Zemin forced a smile into his heart and shook his head before turning around and turning to head now with faster steps towards that direction he had been avoiding all this time.
Shangguan Bing Xue looked around as if she was looking for someone, but that person was nowhere in sight. What struck her as strange was that she, the first woman who managed to successfully win her rivalry with such strength, should definitely be here considering how important this was to Bai Zemin.
Then, a serious voice resounded in her head: "Of course I"m here. How could I not accompany the man who would accompany me to the end of time at a crucial moment for him like this? I am simply giving you a head start. So that when I crush you later you will have no complaints and accept your destined defeat willingly."
The corner of Shangguan Bing Xue"s mouth turned into a sneer but she said nothing. Lilith"s words went in through her right ear and out through her left ear as it was more important for her to focus on Bai Zemin than on words that from a certain point of view were meaningless.
Soon, the two existences visible to the naked eye arrived at a slightly secluded area. Here, the number of collapsed buildings was fewer while the gardens were larger.
Shangguan Bing Xue quickly followed in Bai Zemin"s footsteps, turning around several corners and jumping over some destroyed houses until she finally stopped dead in her tracks a moment after he stopped.
In front of her, a house.... Or rather what had once been a house, was completely flattened until not even a single wall was left standing.
Just judging by the amount of rubble it was clear that the house was not too big, only one story. Shangguan Bing Xue judged that this place was probably once occupied by a six-part structure; 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room.
In addition, for some reason one of the rooms had been built later than the rest. Just as Shangguan Bing Xue wondered the reason, Bai Zemin spoke without looking back:
"This is my home here.... Well, it once was." He said. His voice sounded quite calm so it was hard to tell what kind of expression he was making or what his deepest feelings were like: "At first, there were only three of us so two rooms were all that was necessary. Later, when my younger sister joined the family, she and I shared a room for a few years until it became a little inappropriate for a man and a teenage woman to share a room. At the end of the day, women need their s.p.a.ce and privacy more than us men in certain aspects."
Bai Zemin knelt down on his right knee and slowly began to remove debris as he calmly said, "So, my father and I built another room next to mine in order for her to have her own s.p.a.ce. Well, since our family wasn"t rich or anything it was a little difficult to build the whole room right away so it took a few months as my parents saved up the money for it."
The sound of metal gloves. .h.i.tting debris or the clinking of metal chains linking the defensive cloak to the shoulder pads accompanied every movement Bai Zemin made followed by a slight explosion caused every time a piece of debris was removed.
"I must say that although it was a relief to have Meng Qi leave my room since adolescence is a complicated stage, it was also somewhat disappointing. After so many years of sharing a room, the two of us had become like buddies who would accompany each other before going to sleep."
As Bai Zemin talked about his life with his family, Shangguan Bing Xue finally understood the reason why he was doing this... It was to avoid thinking too much about the now. He was forcing himself to remember the past to try to get away from the present but still living in it as his hands kept removing debris.
Shangguan Bing Xue slowly closed her eyes and stood for a few seconds. Finally, her eyes gently opened again and without saying a word she walked to the opposite side of where Bai Zemin was standing before she started moving debris.
Even though it would be easy for her to sweep this whole place in a second considering her strength, Shangguan Bing Xue was not an unfeeling woman as she seemed or as everyone thought. In fact, she was so observant and understanding that she even noticed that Bai Zemin was being careful not to break even one rock even though he was picking them up and tossing them aside with apparent indifference.
Sensing noise behind him, Bai Zemin stopped his movements for a moment and looking over his shoulder a faint smile appeared on his face. He shook his head before continuing to move debris, being careful but squeezing hard to keep his hands from trembling in the same way his heart was trembling.
To him, each piece of rubble he removed was no different than opening a different pandora"s box since he didn"t know what would be found underneath.
A zombie? A mutant beast? Goblin? Or maybe...
In this kind of situation, Bai Zemin felt that finding nothing was better than finding something... After all, finding would give him answers but would also mean bad news; but not finding, while it might be cruel, would at least keep the hope of "they are okay" alive.
Bai Zemin and Shangguan Bing Xue could remove the rubble of a building several dozen stories high in a matter of seconds. However, even after 30 minutes, the sound of rocks being moved could still be heard from far away.
Approximately 40 minutes later, Bai Zemin finally stopped and stood up. He had just cleaned the entire right side of the place that was once his home.
He found many broken things such as TV, flower vases, tables, armchairs, stove, refrigerator, and so on. However, there was nothing more than that.
Bai Zemin sighed in relief and smiled bitterly as he whispered in a low voice that only he could hear, "To think that I would feel so joyful for not being able to find a trace of my family. How ironic..."
Just at that moment, Shangguan Bing Xue"s somewhat trembling voice sounded from behind him.
"Hey... Bai Zemin, you need to see this."
Bai Zemin"s face turned pale as a sheet and his body trembled as if he had been struck by lightning. He had been praying in his heart that Shangguan Bing Xue would not call him at all, however, it seemed that the G.o.ds really did not want him as once again, those prayers went unheard let alone reciprocated.
It was then when Bai Zemin remembered that, at the end of the day, there were no G.o.ds to help mankind; that he and all the others were alone in this.
Bai Zemin turned around stiffly and with trembling eyes. This was undoubtedly the first time he showed such a weak and broken expression and att.i.tude in front of another living being other than Lilith as even at his worst he stood his ground.
Emotions were dangerous, a double-edged sword that could make us stronger in a second but could also topple the strongest from its throne in an instant.
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