That news had done more damage to her heart than she"d have ever thought possible. Stupidly, she"d believed herself to be over him. To have put that part of her past to rest years ago, and come to terms with it.
She couldn"t have been more wrong.
Not since the death of her parents had anything hurt so much. All the regrets she had mounted to the point they were virtually debilitating.
I should have told Bastien the truth when I had the chance....
Why did I keep such a secret from him? Why didn"t I marry him when he asked me?
Don"t think about it.
With a ragged breath, she pushed herself up. "What happened?"
"We took a hit on our way out. Fera"s working on it. At least they didn"t knock out the drive."
Ember narrowed her gaze at the way Jay said that. "What did they knock out?"
"Life support."
"Oh goodie! Just what we can do without!"
Jay laughed. "Yeah, I know. I swear, if we get out of this and make it home, I"m grabbing my kids and my husband, and we"re grounded for a while. I"m done with these risks. I don"t care how much cred we"re making."
Ember couldn"t blame her for the sentiment. But it only worked for those who had family they could get to.
For her? It was a burning shot to her heart, as it reminded her that she had no one waiting at the Cyperian StarStation base to welcome her return.
She"d been forced by a madman to give up her family in order to keep them safe. She didn"t even know where her sisters were. Ember couldn"t afford to. Barnabas had wasted no effort trying to run her down and end her. To end everyone she loved.
It was what had made her Tavali. They kept her moving.
And alive.
Jay adjusted the band around her insanely bright, fluorescent red hair. In total contradiction to the Gorturnum Tavali rule book that specified an all-black battlesuit whenever they were flying missions, Jay wore one of yellow and red. But then, given that her sister was their vice admiral and the second-highest-ranking member of their Nation, she could get away with a lot of things no one else could.
The lights came up, signaling that their engineer had succeeded in saving their lives.
Again.
Jay let out an audible breath of relief. "All right, ladies," she said over the intercom for every one on their all female crew. "We"re going home, and after this near-death experience, I"m taking time off. Those of you who don"t want to take liberty, submit your names to my sister on our return and she"ll rea.s.sign you to active crews. But after this ... I"m done for a bit."
She paused to study Ember. "You all right, Major?"
Ember rubbed at the lump on her head and winced, wishing she could be with her loved ones. Especially a certain male someone. "Yeah, I"m fine."
Yet they both knew she was lying. She hadn"t been okay in a long, long time.
Jay patted her on the arm before she headed for the helm.
Ember had never been a covetous person, but right then as she listened to the excited pirate Tavali crew beginning to make plans for their extended vacations with their loved ones, she felt so alone and isolated. She envied them.
Had she said yes that night to Bastien as she should have, she"d have been married, too, and living a life with her husband and children.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she pretended for just a second that she had Bastien with her again. Stupid, she knew. She"d kill Bastien if he were here.
Beat him until he bled for being so reckless and stupid as to not have seen Barnabas"s treachery. For such a worldly, surly b.a.s.t.a.r.d, Bas had always been incredibly innocent. Always seen the best in people. That was what she loved most about him. He"d given everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Even the ones who didn"t deserve it.
And in all these years, she"d never found anyone who"d treated her with the love and regard he had. No one had respected her more or given her such devotion.
How could I have been so blind? In her own way, she"d been even more naive than he had.
It was too easy to take things for granted when they were right in front of your face. Especially when they were people. She"d a.s.sumed he"d always be here. That love like his would be easy to find again. Her parents had loved like that. Tasi and Cin did.... How stupid she was.
She"d allowed her own fears to override her joy, and her ability to see how much she relied on him. Cut his heart out when he offered it to her, and she knew it. Then instead of trying to save what they"d had, she"d ruthlessly ignored his attempts to reconcile and shut him out more. She"d let her fears, anger, and hurt get in the way of her happiness.
Now it was too late.
Bastien"s dead.
Swallowing against the pain and grief that threatened to knock her down, she rubbed at the locket that held the last bit of him she had. And wished for things she knew could never be again.
While their high admiral kept them officially out of the SentellaLeague War, Trajen couldn"t keep his crews out of danger. The League didn"t differentiate between the Nations. To them, one Tavali was all Tavali.
Of course, that was the Tavalian code. Still, this was a long way from being over. She"d left one war behind only to fall headfirst into another.
Only this time, she had no idea what she was fighting for.
Bastien drew up short as he saw the carnage in front of him. He"d been aware of the invaders near his home for days now. A huge-a.s.s Andarion warrior with a teen male and a human female had come in first. Bastien had been trying his best to figure out why the two Andarions had a young human woman with them.
At least until the other blond human female had been dropped off. She"d made straight for them.
Then he"d a.s.sumed they must be a family on some kind of screwed-up vacation. Though why anyone would want to take a break in this fected heat and desolate desert, he couldn"t imagine.
But then, Andarions were a screwed-up race with some peculiar ideas on comfort that he couldn"t even begin to fathom. He"d marked this new group off as harmless and had left them alone, only checking their location from time to time to make sure they didn"t come near his base.
Until he"d seen and heard the firefight that"d resulted in enough bodies to make a League a.s.sa.s.sin cream his pants.
The dead were Bolodorians from the looks of their craft and uniforms. A group of incas-freelance a.s.sa.s.sins. Lowlife sc.u.m who made his flesh crawl. But for once, they hadn"t been interested in him or his bounty. They appeared to have been exclusively after the Andarion family.
Something verified as he watched the warrior searching the twenty-five bodies he"d taken down with minimal effort and heard a radio go off on one of them.
"Hiller? You there, copy?"
The warrior paused to listen, then picked up the link closest to him. "Yeah."
Bastien was impressed. Took b.a.l.l.s to answer an enemy"s comm. Kudos to the beast.
"Did you get him? I don"t hear no more fighting."
"Yeah," he repeated.
"f.u.c.king awesome. Don"t forget to bag the head with the DNA sample. We get twice the payout for it. See you in a few."
Yeah, the Andarion didn"t seem to share that sentiment since it was his head they were calling for. Bastien couldn"t blame him for that. It"d wreck his day too. Look on the Andarion"s face said he was p.i.s.sed off to be their target. And that if he laid hands to any more of these guys, he would be about as charitable as Bastien should he ever be lucky enough to get his ex-wife"s neck in his hands.
Intending to wait until the Andarion finished and moved on so that Bastien could search the bodies for supplies, he continued to watch the warrior through the scope of his sniper"s rifle.
As the Andarion moved out of his viewer range, Bastien stepped in closer, making sure not to lose sight of him.
The moment he did, the Andarion jerked his blaster out and aimed it straight at his head.
"Don"t," Bastien growled, switching his targeting laser on with his thumb to warn the Andarion that he was already aimed at the warrior"s heart.
a.s.sured mutual destruction.
The Andarion didn"t flinch or move as he kept his own dot clearly centered between Bastien"s eyes. If he wasn"t wearing his shooting goggles, that light would have burned out his vision and left him blind. "One twitch, human, and I promise you"ll be dead before I will."
Bastien refused to back down or let his words rattle him. Honestly? He"d heard worse threats from his mother for leaving the toilet seat up in her personal bathroom.
So he kept his own dot right where the Andarion"s heart was. But he also knew that a lengthy standoff would give the Andarion"s family time to move in behind him. Better to defuse the situation and let him know Bastien wasn"t a threat than risk an injury.
With his left hand held up, he moved slowly forward. "Ditto."
The Andarion scowled as he raked a look over Bastien"s ragged clothing that said he"d figured out Bastien was alone and not in much position to be a big threat to him.
Other than the blaster he held.
He could only imagine what the Andarion must think. Bastien"s clothes were worn out. And though he had his hair tied back, away from his eyes, it was long and ragged from where he"d been keeping it cut with a blunt knife. He always meant to request shears from Jullien or Unira, but somehow he forgot about it whenever he talked to them. Those brief breaks in loneliness made him forget a lot of things.
His cheek itched, reminding him of how scraggly his beard was, too. Yeah, he probably looked like a reject from some psych ward.
After a few seconds, a slow smile of appreciation spread across the Andarion"s face. "So are we going to stand here all day, weapons drawn? I"m game if you are."
His humor caught Bastien off guard. He relaxed a tiny degree, as the Andarion"s demeanor and manner reminded him a lot of his old friend Fain Hauk. Only a mighty War Hauk could be this relaxed and nonchalant with a blaster trained on him.
Or an idiot.
That led him back to his War Hauk a.n.a.logy as they were made up of equal parts of stupid and courageous.
But he didn"t miss the way the Andarion watched his eyes carefully, as if to see whether or not Bastien intended to attack him. That alone told him just how skilled a killer this gargantuan male was.
Which meant he"d kill Bastien if he sensed a threat.
With no choice, Bastien did something he hadn"t done in a long time.
He trusted his gut and lowered his weapon.
Yet not so much that he couldn"t get a well-placed shot off should the Andarion make a move he didn"t like.
"Look, I"m just here to scavenge before the others arrive. You do your thing, I do mine, and we part ways."
The Andarion nodded. "You"re Kirovarian?"
That set off every alarm in Bastien"s body. He took aim at his heart again. "How do you know that?"
The warrior holstered his weapon with a nonchalance that said he had no intention of attacking. "Your accent. So what was your rank, soldier?"
Yeah, he was an astute b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Deciding the best course of action would be to attempt a friendly encounter, Bastien finally put his own weapon away. "What kind of Andarion knows humans so well?"
"I was schooled with humans."
Bulls.h.i.t! Bastien knew that never happened. He brought his weapon up, intending to kill him where he stood. But before he could pull the trigger, the Andarion disarmed him with lightning speed.
Bastien attacked.
The Andarion deflected the blow and returned it with one that would have incapacitated him had it made contact. Luckily, Bastien dodged just in time. But before he could counter with another strike, the Andarion twirled, and delivered a staggering fist to his jaw that rang his bell for days. Worse, the oversized b.a.s.t.a.r.d head-b.u.t.ted him then flipped him to the ground.
Stunned and dazed, Bastien waited for the Andarion to finally put him out of his never-ending misery.
He didn"t.
Instead, the Andarion stared at Bastien"s stomach, where his shirt had lifted to betray the brand that cut through Bastien"s soul and dignity every time he saw it.
His Ravin mark.
The Andarion immediately held his hands up and backed off. "I"m not here to hunt or kill you, friend."
Yeah, right.
And yet, he could have easily killed him a second ago and had chosen not to. Bastien wasn"t sure why as he glared at the beast. "You"re League, aren"t you? Isn"t that why you"re here?"
The Andarion scratched his chin with the back of his hand. "Used to be, and was discharged years ago. If I wasn"t, I"d have killed you already. These days, I"m Sentella only." He gestured toward the weapons on the ground that were left behind from his victims. "Walk with peace, brother. Take your supplies and go. I won"t stop or track you."
Still not sure he could trust him not to shoot him the minute he turned his back, Bastien wiped at the blood on his lips, then pushed himself to his feet. One thing was sure, he wanted more distance between them.
Like the gutter rat he"d been forced to become, Bastien scurried over to the other side to watch the muscled mountain. He still had the traditional Andarion warrior"s braids that fell to the middle of his back. And even though he was dressed in civilian gear, there was no doubt this warrior had taken a lot of lives.
Something evidenced as he viciously cut off one of the heads of the men who"d been sent to kill him and then put it in the container they"d brought to house his. Brutal and yet poetic.
Bastien would have done the same.
As the Andarion started for his airbee, Bastien called out to him. "I was captain first rank. Gyron Force."
The expression on the Andarion"s face as he turned back to rake him with another look said that he knew who and what Gyron Force was. The elite of the elite for the Kirovarian armada and infantry. Less than one percent of one percent of their soldiers qualified to wear their uniforms.