Trying to salvage whatever was left of his shattered dignity for the second time in a handful of hours, he nodded. "Thank you, Corporal."
As he turned to find a transport to his new base, he slung the pack over his shoulder and tried to put it out of his mind.
Bastien couldn"t. It was impossible when his entire world had crashed down on him. I didn"t do anything.
Unwilling to let it go, he pulled his link out and hailed Ember.
It rolled to her voicemail in such a way as to let him know that she"d done it herself the moment she saw it was him calling for her.
With an irritated sigh, he waited for the buzz. "Hey, Em, it"s me. I just got my orders and I"m heading to my new barracks. I know you said you needed some time to decide about the marriage, but I didn"t think that meant that you were expelling me from your life entirely. You could have given me some warning." He paused as he realized anger and accusation had crept into his tone.
He wasn"t really angry at her. Truth was, he was hurt. Kicked in the stones and bleeding internally.
Worse? He had no one to turn to for this. His drinking buddies wouldn"t understand. They"d tell him to go nail someone else and get her out of his system. His family would think him an idiot for sulking over a pleb.
Fain Hauk wouldn"t want to hear it since he was still raw about his own wife and what had happened there.
And his best friend wasn"t talking to him. She was rolling his calls to voicemail.
Honestly, Bastien didn"t want to yell at her. He just wanted her back. It was why he"d proposed. He didn"t want to live his life without her in it.
So he gentled his tone and spoke from his heart. "I miss you, Em. Love you even more. Call me." He cut the line before he gave in to the tears that were choking him. Gave in to the misery that was about to send him to his knees.
Clearing his throat, he took a deep breath and tried to get his bearings.
"Bastien?"
He winced at the sound of Alura"s voice as she came skipping over toward him. That was all he needed right now.
Like another hole in his heart.
With a ragged breath, he braced himself to face her. "Yeah?"
"You okay?" She slowed down as she neared him.
"Fine."
With a sympathetic frown, she placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Brandy told me about last night. You want me to give you a ride to your new post?"
Yeah, right. Ember would have a seizure on them both. While she might be p.i.s.sed for the moment over some imagined slight, she"d hopefully calm down in a few days and get over it. But if she saw him with Alura that would guarantee that she"d never speak to him again. "It"s okay. My sister"s waiting."
She nodded. "I"m sorry, Bastien. I just wanted you to know that if you need a friend, I"m here. Anytime." She kissed his cheek.
Mumbling an insincere thanks, he quickly grabbed a transport and put as much distance between them as he could. One thing about Alura ... she had a nasty habit of chasing after her sisters" boyfriends for reasons only Alura knew. All of them wanted her head for it.
And he had enough problems with the world gossiping about his behavior. Be d.a.m.ned if he"d fuel that fire. There wasn"t enough alcohol in the entire Kirovarian Empire and all her territories to make Alura appealing to him. Not enough alcohol in all the Nine Worlds for that matter.
I just need some time, Bas ...
His gut tightened as he heard Ember"s voice from last night in his head again. It didn"t make sense. Everything had been golden between them. They"d been dating for a year and never had he been more sure of anything. They rarely fought, and never over anything major. Day and night, they were together and she"d seemed as eager for his company as he was for hers.
Until this.
Just trust in her. She"ll come around. You know she will. She loves you. You love her. Love wins over everything else.
As stupid as it sounded, he really believed that. Most of all, he really believed in her.
Few days and everything would be back to normal. She"d get over whatever was bugging her and they"d be planning their wedding.
All he had to do was be patient ...
ALMOST TWO MONTHS LATER.
"You unbelievable b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"
Bastien had barely stepped off the ladder of his fighter when he turned to find Ember in the hangar bay. Her cheeks flushed, she glared at him with fury in her eyes, making them all the greener. Honestly, he was so happy to see her here that he didn"t even mind the fact that she"d insulted him.
At least not until a second later when she unexpectedly kneed him straight in the groin.
Pain exploded through him as he dropped his helmet and doubled over, fighting against the sudden wave of nausea that threatened to send him to ground.
"You went out with my zusa?" She ground those words out from between her teeth in an effort to keep the fight between them. But it was too late. Half the bay had seen her a.s.sault and stood frozen in curiosity.
"Not what you think," he managed to choke out past the pain.
"No?" She shoved a photo into his face that Alura had posted of them in the restaurant. One that had been picked up by a number of news agencies and broadcast all over. Ironic really that it had more coverage than the a.s.sa.s.sin"s attack on his mother two days ago, or the near miss he"d had himself just yesterday. "Guess I"m hallucinating, then."
Cursing his stupidity, he righted himself even though all he really wanted to do was find an ice pack and a bed. "Why are you so mad anyway? I asked you before I did it."
And that was definitely the wrong thing to say as it sent her off into a round of incoherent sputtering that resulted in the only recognizable words being pieces of vulgar profanity that would have gotten slapped had he let them fly.
But at least it got her talking to him again. This was the longest conversation they"d had since the night he asked her to marry him.
With one last choice insult for his manhood, she started off.
Bastien took her arm and gently pulled her to a stop. "Em-"
"Don"t you dare!" She jerked free of his grasp and raked a scathing glare over him. "You knew how much this would hurt me and yet you did it anyway. How could you?"
That question left a bleeding welt on his soul. And the answer was so simple that he couldn"t understand how she missed it.
Because he"d wanted her to tell him not to go. To say that she wanted him back. That she still loved him and there was some hope left for him to hold on to.
She"d cut him off completely and he"d been beyond desperate. That was why he"d done it.
Instead, she"d told him that she didn"t care what he did. To go out with Alura.
But her fury now gave him the very hope that he"d been praying for. "It was only dinner. I took her straight home. Nothing happened between us."
"You think I believe you? That I"d ever believe you after this?"
She should. He"d never been on a worse date in his life.
"What"s going on here?"
Bastien went cold at the sound of his older brother"s voice intruding on their fight. Dritvik! That was the last thing he needed.
Disgusted, he watched as Quin joined them. Almost even in height to him, his brother had wavy brown hair that was two shades darker than his, and hazel blue eyes. Eyes that he focused on Bastien with a condemning stare. But that didn"t faze Bastien at all. He was too used to it. Too used to Quin judging him as lacking in all things.
Since the day Bastien was born, his older brother had been jealous of the attention their mother had given him. Jealous of the fact that Bastien had the privileges of being a visir without having all the ha.s.sles of training to run the empire. It ate at Quin and made him a snotty, acerbic s.h.i.t most days.
And today he was in a particularly bad mood. He curled his lip at Bastien. "Must you sully our good name every chance you get? Don"t you have more important things to worry about than chasing after another piece of tail? Like finding the b.a.s.t.a.r.d who tried to kill our mother?"
"Stay out of this."
But it was too late. Ember was already leaving.
"Em!" Bastien started after her.
"Go to h.e.l.l, Cabarro!"
Quin jerked him to a stop. "Show some dignity, d.a.m.n you! You"re a visir of this empire! We don"t chase after common filth!"
Growling, Bastien slugged his brother. "You"re not fit to speak of her and don"t you dare insult her again!"
"I"ll have you whipped for this!"
"Go for it, theren. I dare you." Bastien laughed in his face at the mere thought of what their mother would do if Quin even attempted to have him harmed.
Wiping the blood from his lips, Quin curled his lip. "One day, Bas, I hope you get what you deserve."
"And what"s that?"
"A lesson in who your real family is and what hanging out with trash like that gets you."
FIVE WEEKS LATER.
All his life, Bastien Aros Cabarro had stupidly thought the most frightening three-word phrase in the entire Kirovarian language was his full name when spoken by his mother in that nut-shriveling tone she had whenever he did something that displeased her.
He was wrong.
Truly the most frightening three words? Bar none? Those sons of b.i.t.c.hes had just flown out of the mouth of his ex"s baby sister. In a crowded room of people his parents would murder him over scandalizing.
"Bastien, I"m pregnant."
Stunned by this unbelievably cruel hatchet of fate, he stared blankly at Alura as if Ember had cold-c.o.c.ked him again, and honestly, it was what this news felt like.
This could not be happening.
Not now. Not tonight in the middle of my parents" thirty-third anniversary party.
Not with Alura ...
Dear G.o.d, what have I done?
Unfortunately, he had an iron-clad answer for that last query. At least on a biological level. On a moral one? He"d seriously SCUBARed his life-screwed it up beyond all recovery. That painful b.a.s.t.a.r.d stepchild of being FUBARed-which he also was. Or would be once Ember learned about this.
If she didn"t know already.
He"d be lucky if she only shot him in the heart. Or head ...
And not the one that rested on his shoulders.
"Did you hear me?"
Needing a moment to catch his bearings, Bastien drained the gla.s.s of whisky in his hand before he stuttered for the first time since he"d learned to speak. "Uh ... yeah."
That deceptively nonchalant tone got him a vicious slap from the stunning long-legged blonde in front of him.
Not that he blamed her. He wanted to slap himself, too.
He held his hand up to stay the royal security guards as they moved in to take Alura into custody. Last thing he needed was an even bigger scene during his parents" anniversary party that Alura had crashed so that she could ensure she had a large audience for the verbal bomb she"d just detonated on top of him.
But then, she was good at such spectacles and he had to give her credit-unlike Ember, Alura was always one for a great performance. The more attention on her at any given time, the better.
Positive. Negative. Alura didn"t care, so long as she was at the center of it. Which was no doubt why she"d come here in full military regalia, with her accommodation ribbons clearly visible so as to garner as much sympathy as she could. Let everyone know that she was a decorated war hero from the most prominent military family Kirovar had ever bred.
And that he was nothing more than the knttr who"d wronged her.
Yeah, that about summed it up.
"Bas?"
Even better ... there was that infamous tone that said he was in trouble with his family. Only instead of coming from his mother, it was his older sister using it. "All"s well, Lil. I"ve got this."
Moving to stand by his side, his ever graceful sister, Lillian, swept a condemning stare over him and then down Alura"s body, taking in her ACU battlesuit that clashed greatly with the formal wear everyone else had donned for the black-tie event.
Yeah, he could have done without the condemnation and resentful disdain in Lil"s green eyes.
It was matched only by the searing sneer Quin had pinned on him from the other side of the room.
With as much dignity as he could muster, Bastien set his empty gla.s.s down on the windowsill right as his father stepped into the fray with that hostile grimace that was nowhere near as effective at quelling his actions as his mother"s tsking. Strange whenever Bastien thought about it. Even at sixty, his father was a huge beast of a man who wasn"t known for compa.s.sion or diplomacy, yet he"d never once intimidated Bastien.
At all.
Something that had made his father insane from the moment Bastien had first opened his eyes seconds after birth and, according to his grandmother, pinned an insolent stare on the monidar. Then yawned and reached for his mother, who had petted him every day since.
Aside from a few well-noted a.s.s-kickings, anyway. For all her doting and loving, his mother wasn"t a pushover-especially not when it came to her kids.