BornAndTorn

" WARUM KANNST DU NICHT SEIN WIE DEINE SCHWESTER?"

" WAS SOLLEN DIE ANDEREN BLOß DENKEN?"

" WAS HABEN WIR FALSCH GEMACHT Da.s.s DU SO BIST WIE DU BIST?"

Dieses Gefühl der bitteren Enttäuschung, die blinde Wut, der verletzte Stolz, das alles k.u.muliert in diesem kalten Gesicht das keine Gefühlsregung zulässt. Dieses gleichgülitge Gesicht war mir nur all zu bekannt, den es gehörte zu der Person die ich meinen Vater nenne.

Irgendwann jedoch wurde selbst dieses Geschrei durch apthatische Kommentare ersetzt. Diese Akzeptanz war viel verletztender als jeder Wutanfall oder jeder Zweifel. Wie immer habe ich diese Details versucht auszublenden und einfach so getan als würde ich über den Dingen stehen.

Alles das während ich im Inneren still und heimlich gelitten habe, aber selbst das wollte ich nie einsehen. Alle diese Fragen und Kommentare waren nichts anderes als ein Verhör denen ich Antwort stehen musste.

Zu behaupten ich wäre unschuldig an der Sache wäre mehr als realitätsfremd, aber irgendwie finde ich die Umstände die dazu geführt eher bel.u.s.tigend. Meine Herangensweise hat die Situations eher verschlimmert und dabei hab ich mich doch so schlau gefühlt. Jung und töricht und scheinbar hat sich das noch immer nicht geändert.

Nun bin ich hier auf gefangen in einer Welt die ich nicht verstehe und verhalte mich so als ob das genaue Gegenteil der Fall wäre. All mein Wissen nützt mir wenig, wenn ich nicht mehr als ein Spielstein sein kann.

Es ist schwierig Ambition jeglicher Art zu entwickeln, wenn die Guiliotine bedrohlich über deinem Haupt ruht. Auch wenn ich gerne reflektiere und Dinge unterdrücke, die mich belasten, so war ich doch im Grunde meines Herzens ein Realist.

Und nun war in meiner Realität kein Platz für Heldentum, kein Prinzen und Prinzessinen gehörten in diese. Ich bin nur eine Seele die nicht in diese Welt gehört. Nun, da.s.s soll aber nicht heißen, da.s.s diese Umstände mir diktieren wie oder wie ich micht verhalten habe.

Wenn Sie mich loswerden wollen, dann kann ich das vollends nachvollziehen, das heißt aber nicht das ich lautlos verschwinden werde. Ne, ein bisschen Spaß muss sein, da.s.s habe ich mir nach all der Maskerade verdient.

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WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

" WHY CAN"T YOU BE LIKE YOUR SISTER?"

" WHAT SHOULD THE OTHERS THINK?"

" WHAT HAVE WE DONE WRONG TO MAKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE?"

This feeling of bitter disappointment, the blind rage, the hurt pride, all of this acc.u.mulates in this cold face that does not allow any emotion. This indifferent face was all too familiar to me since it belonged to the person I call my father.

At some point, however, even this shouting was replaced by apathetic comments. This acceptance was much more hurtful than any tantrum or doubt. As always, I tried to hide these details and just pretended to be above it all.

All this while suffering silently and secretly inside, but even that I never wanted to admit. All these questions and comments were nothing more than an interrogation to which I had to answer.

To claim that I was innocent of the matter would be more than unrealistic, but somehow I find the circ.u.mstances that led to it rather amusing. My approach made the situation worse and yet I felt so smart. Young and foolish and apparently that hasn"t changed yet.

Now here I am trapped in a world I don"t understand and act as if the exact opposite is true. All my knowledge is of little use to me if I cannot be more than a token.

It is difficult to develop ambition of any kind when the guillotine rests menacingly over your head. Even though I like to reflect and suppress things that bother me, I was a realist at heart.

And now there was no place for heroism in my reality, no prince and princesses belonged in it. I am just a soul that does not belong in this world. Well, that is not to say that these circ.u.mstances dictate how I should behave.

If they want me to disappear, I completely understand it. That doesn"t mean I"ll go quietly. No, I deserve a little fun after all the masquerade.

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" What was that feeling of rage that I felt inside of you?"

It was nothing more than a bad memory, something I wish I could have forgotten about by now.

" It felt like you were out for blood." said my Tennant faking concern, in the end, it did not truly care about my mood, it was just another thing to keep him entertained. Just as usual he just did whatever it wanted to.

" You seem awfully moody today, you are going to scare the poor player if you are that happy." Oh yes, I am so concerned about my public image, with the Observer translating my language I will be so worried about getting my points across.

As long as I do not rip out his vocal cords or act unreasonably I can say and do whatever I want. I am just the tool used in this case, so that the ego of these little guy does not get hurt, because they are unable to use their brain cells for anything other than murdering monsters with their magic.

I am just here to play my part and that"s it. How the Observer chooses to depict me and what his true intentions are, is not something I should concern myself with. If it has other plans for me, I am sure I will learn about them sooner or later anyway.

So what if I am moody or have a bad temper? Does it really matter? As long as I smile when I give the interview no one is really going to care. The ideal master who teaches players, that they can have my strength by simple doing push-ups. Is it not fantastic, that the Observer has managed to create that image simply by twisting my words so that these fools would adore me?

Everything in this world is laid out by Observer, whether it is my fate or the fate of a player, I will not even bother trying to pretend it would be any other way. So please spare me from any moral wisdom, because my perspective on this entire situation will not change.

"It is not like your circ.u.mstances have been any different beforehand, so why are you this emotional just now?"

It is an easy way to vent my frustrations and the stress that has built up over all the time, without having to worry about anything. So what"s wrong if I throw around some insults or anything that would cause me some relief?

Oh no, the scary human is acting differently than usual, he must be plotting to overthrow the world and rule it with an iron fist. He will kill the young and old alike and his victim will never be able to rest as they suffer for all eternity.

Yeah, the human without magic will be the end for the world as we know it. If you are not careful he is going to throw insults at you, how can anyone bear something like this? He might even give you a stern glance and there is nothing anyone can do against it.

You see, you will have to watch out for any human you might encounter, I have heard they even swallow children whole for the sake of their entertainment.

Can we just continue without all of that suspicion and conspiracies? I am just here to present myself to the audience and help these players over their lack of functioning brain cells. There are no schemes and no plans, I only want to answer these questions and be done with it.

I have tried to scheme, I have tried to lay out traps but it is only due to will of the Observer that I am still alive. Until I find a method to circ.u.mvent the influence of the Observer I have no other choice than to follow the script.

Whether that means having to answer questions or playing the wise teacher for some poor lost souls my task truly is not something for me to choose. Solely the interview itself was my idea, but everything around it is dictated by the Observer.

That is why I refused to ask for anything in return, I truly do not have the position to do so in the first place. If I did not prove my worth to the Observer I will be discarded without any sort of hesitation.

As I have pointed out, there is no way I am planning anything but even if I did it would be more than unwise due to my current relationship with the Observer.

Upon seeing that CallMeDaddy had finished his preparations I started to approach him with a smile on my face. Answering some simple questions should not pose much of a challenge but it needed to be done nonetheless.

" It is nice to make your acquaintance." I made a short bow out of courtesy and waited for his reaction.

A satisfied expression appeared on his face and he began to nod. They all are the same in this world, give them a compliment and their head truly starts to float over the clouds. Let me just adapt my behaviour accordingly to his next choices.

" Raise your head, you may call me CallMeDaddy during our interview." His almighty has gained my lowly self the privilege of using the name CallmeDaddy I feel deeply touched by this act of sheer grace.

" As previously discussed the Interview will consist out of 2 parts. The first part will be held by me, while the second part is reserved for the questions from the audience."

" This arrangement is favourable for both of our interests." This time around I spoke to him as an equal because I was representing the developer team.

" Is the scenery to your liking?" I inquired asking curiously about an opinion I could not care less about. After some worthless praise and some minor details, that he wanted to change everything had been prepared for the interview to begin.

I was placed in front of the army of Moirais who stood behind me staring menacingly at CallMeDaddy who just kept repeating perfect after seeing it. Well. I do not know, why portraying me as the leader of the Moirai is helpful in my cause, but since its the plan of the Observer it must be correct.

My clothes had been replaced as well, instead of the simple t-shirt and jeans, I now wore an elegant robe, which was clearly oversized not suited for the body of a youth. I ended up looking like the least threatening King of savages to ever grace this land. Although this detail seemed unnecessary, I would not make a fuss about my appearance.

If I was affected by something like this, then I would have had to scratch the catastrophe that I call my face by now. Besides looking like a joke is also a nice change. As of now, my appearance was only an attack on good taste.

I ignored the laughing sound in the back of my mind, as I did not have the ground to scold him for this. I mean I would have done the same if someone else was forced to wear this kind of clothing. With this kind of snow-white robe, I must have escaped out of the nearest bathroom or an asylum.

Of course, the smile had never left my mouth while my public image was going to be destroyed the second this broadcast would start.

All of a sudden CallMeDaddy entire aura changed and he came way too close to the face of his crew member, which was most likely the camera for this interview. I had not expected this level of enthusiasm coming from him. I had thought, that he would treat this matter a lot more serious with a stern expression on his face.

" h.e.l.lo, its CallMeDaddy. I am here to bring you the newest rumours and the best stories from the world of "Primal Survival." But this time I have planned something special for my entire audience. Because today my guest is someone, you all have heard about. He is involved in every major development in " Primal Survival" and most people have been searching for him without any success."

" This is the NPC everyone knows as Moirai." He turned his head around and approached me with a big grin on his face.

" Dear Moirai, first of all, thank you for giving me this interview. Most of the audience has heard about the mysterious NPC known as Moirai, but what are you in the first place?" Such a heavy question right from the start, this will be more interesting than expected.

" Thank you for having me here. I am just a lowly human, but it is my fortune to be able to help everyone with their training." Although I could choose to say anything I want, it would be unwise to do actually do so, since the content of my message should align with my mannerisms, I do not want to rely on outside help in that aspect.

" I do wonder, why should a human have such a high honour? Teaching us Chosen one is not something as lowly as a human should do" he tried to he could not suppress the derogatorily sound in his voice.

" How could a human teach a Chosen One? A Chosen One does not need to learn anything from them. But you should never forget exactly where your roots lie or are you trying to denounce OUR ANCESTOR as he was human before being chosen by the G.o.ds?"

This was a warning, I doubt he would want to continue down this road, once his Ancestor has been brought into play. I could not care any less about what he thinks about humans in the first place, but I do not want to defend myself for being a human either.

" Yeah, a human is at least better than a monster." Seems like The Observer did not want to follow through with my remark, as long as this line of questioning does not continue I am fine with it.

" Moirai, everything about you is shrouded in mystery, tell us more about you and your origin."

What even was that for an interview-style, normally you would give a lot more information about the subject in question, so that your viewer is a lot more emotionally invested but as of now It is just me answering questions.

" What can I say I am a simple human in this world full of magic when I opened my eyes I already found myself staring into the blue sky. I met some truly interesting people as I wandered around in this world. Although I do not speak your language it is still fascinating to see all of this with my own eyes. I truly savour every moment that I get to spend here. But sadly my time is rather limited."

CallMeDaddy looked at me with confusion in his eyes, did I say something which the Observer could not fix in time?

" Allow me the question although it may seem a bit strange, but are you aware of yourself?" Seems like me behaviour is a bit too lifelike. Well, let"s make it a sobful story.

" I am Moirai as for my role, of course, I am aware. It is my duty to fight against the players so that they can improve. I have learned that I am different from the other humans you refer to as NPC. But it is my obligation to see this training through to the end."

" But do you not have any regrets about this?"

" Everybody has regrets, I am no exception to this rule. Mine is just something, which I can not make up or redeem myself for. You see, although this life of mine seems fruitless and wasted, it is something I truly can enjoy even though the end is inevitable. "

My interviewer looked gobsmacked and utterly dumbfounded into my direction. Noted, I should avoid philosophical answers as it clearly is above his paygrade.

Maybe I should just to the typical my G.o.d told me to stuff so that they can easily follow. Hey Observer just make some stuff up that I heard some G.o.d giving me a mission to teach those players. Our cultures are just too different in so many ways. My outlook and mindset are just too alien.

" This calling came to me as I heard a voice inside of my head telling me what to do." This was not a lie, the Observer had indeed talked to me although the term "calling" should normally be replaced with task.

After this statement, the doubt had settled on the face of CallMeDaddy and his countenance had returned to its previous state. He resumed the interview with another question.

" You truly fight well for a human, but what is that strange fighting style of yours called?"

" Calling it fighting style is a bit farfetched, I am just moving my body, I do not have any sophisticated technique. Still, if I had to give it a name, I would refer to it as Martial Arts. It is someone that everyone could learn if they spent enough time on it." Though they would never be as strong as me, I left that part out for good reasons.

" But of course it could never compare to the might of magic. Otherwise, I as a human would not have to use this barbaric tactic just to pose a challenge to the players. We, humans, are just weak on our own and just with our body, we are nothing in front of magic."

" Yeah indeed this Martial Arts are a tool for humans to strengthen themselves but it can not compare to the gift from the G.o.ds."

G.o.ds gift huh? What would our work be called then?

It is hard to compare the two, after all, there is no relation at all. Because one is human while the other is inhumane.