BornAndTorn

" Would have been a lot harder without your help though."

" Oh, so you noticed? What gave me away?" a genuine expression of interest could be seen pa.s.sing over his face.

" For instance, no NPC would look at me smiling and pretend as if nothing had happened. They either would run back and alarm their master or try to catch me. But by then you already knew, that I was aware of your interference. "

He looked not too surprised at my revelation, this much was still what he had antic.i.p.ated.

" If I am being honest it was a gamble at first. After all, I did not know exactly how or when I had been summoned to that s.p.a.ce. All I had were an empty promise and your words of having a use for me to go on."

This guy is so hard to read, not even after throwing a bone to him, does he react in any manner.

" Do you remember the first order? " Kill them for me". The big brawny NPC was hesitating and struggling but he could resist the order in the end. n.o.body can resist the order they have been given. It was the first time you meddled in this affair. "

" Oh, but why do you think so, the reaction was something a human would show into thrown into such a situation." his expression did not change but I could hear a bit of mocking tone in his voice.

" Oh, you mean the same kind of human, who just stood there rooted to the spot waiting while this dude tries to murder them. How oddly human they are. Or the fact, that every NPC who had been tasked with the same did not struggle at all? Do you expect me to believe, that just because this one NPC could not resist their order they would not at least try to do the same?"

He looked at me with a puzzled expression.

" Is that all, that your theory is based on? The uncharacteristic behaviour of those NPCs is interpreted as an act of meddling from my side? What if said behaviour is caused by prioritizing player interest over realistic human behaviour?"

A fair point, humans do not serve any valuable purpose in this world. They neither are strong, neither teach any tactics or strategies. Currently, they are just used as a tool to get rid of one"s boredom. But exactly this point was evidence for his interference.

" Appeasing the fantasy of power. an event which utilizes the helpless humans to fuel their ego. Judging from your previous description everything seems logical. But then why was I there? Was there any point in me being there? Every NPC had a higher level, better stats and served this narrative way better than I could have ever done. So why was my presence even needed?"

"Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. How often do I have to tell you, I don"t interfere, I don"t temper, I don"t influence. All I do is observe."

" I am just a simple NPC. I have no strength and I am still a young boy. "

" You see but are not seen. I talk but only answer."

" You tell but are not told to. You sleep but lie wide awake."

" I perceive but am not percieved."

This short exchange told me more about the whole situation, then all the previous talk. Although the voices in my head required a little help to understand the exact meaning.

" The Observer told me, that it does not have any direct influence on the system, all it can do is observe. Therefore I asked whether 0r not the system only sees me as a young boy with next to no strength. It told me, that my current strength is real but is not recognized by the system itself. Furthermore, it told me, that it only can answer the system if its expertise is required.

" Afterwards I reminded him, that he was advising the system not listening to its orders. While it may seem like it is only active during patches it is always watching and evaluating all the developments. That was confirmed by the Observer itself. Or did I say something wrong?"

The Observer shook his head. " You got the gist of it. "

" I doubt, that you are here to waste any of your valuable time. So why have you appeared right in front of me?" I inquired this information to get to the core of this visit.

"While you were chosen at random as part of the summoning process my appearance here is not without any reason. I am here to give you the task I had picked for you. At first, I had planned to wait till you reach for your full strength but the circ.u.mstances have changed as might have guessed."

That much was obvious the Observer would not do anything pointless. Any of its act could influence this entire world, so it would not do anything like this if it was not forced to. I asked myself what kind of task awaited me. Since I did not have all of my strength it could hardly demand anything too crazy from me.

I was still thinking about my future. The Observer continued his monologue.

" I want you to act as a guide for a certain player from the Church"

I did not give any reply yet, because I would not have much of a say in this matter regardless. It must have its reasons to utilize me in such a fashion. If it can not be avoided I will have to try to get the most out of it.

" This player is not someone who stands a chance at winning the tactical warfare event. The odds of this occurring are nonexistent to be exact because he had even failed to register in the first place. Please help him to leave a lasting impression."

I could certainly ask myself about the reasoning for this kind of weird mission, but it was none of my business to wonder about the ins and outs, at least not yet. My current predicament did not leave any room for negotiation.

" You will be following this player and stay by his side. You will be seen as a summoned NPC who is tasked with helping the player."

Despite being drawn into the role of a guide, I had a smile on my face. Just thinking about the alternative caused me to shudder. If I get in their fingers after I made such a fool out of them...

It"s best to disappear from the face of the earth. This time metaphorically instead of literally.

" You are oddly calm, I would have expected a lot more questions and anger coming from you."

I gave him a thumbs-up before I spoke my reply.

" I wanted to listen to your task in its entirety to form my opinion. Listening earnestly helped me evaluating the risks and opportunities that come with it. The tasks seem sensible given my current situation, therefore I agree."

" Wait, what? Really?" It was the first time I had seen the Observer being caught off guard. But this sensation only lasted for an instant before his face returned to its usual indifference.

" Why should I decline? I do not see any disadvantage from your offer"

" You need to help a player, an existence that would kill you without batting an eye if he met you. You will be in constant danger just by being beside him. You will be met with contempt, ridicule and disregard wherever you may go. Why do you accept this proposition so easily, knowing about all of this?"

I looked at him full of ridicule.

" I wish I had the luxury to be bothered by their contempt and ridicule. Being treated like dirt, oh what a tremendous suffering. How can a human being endure this inhumanity? "

I mockingly raised my arms to the sky and said with a voice full of lament.

" May my body be destroyed, may my soul be extinguished. But I still got my honour. My honour will bring me happiness, feed my malnourished family and in the end it saves the entire world."

I decided to go on step further and enhanced my performance by falling on my knees and making obvious fake crying noises. Multiple fake sniffs could be heard as I began to speak.

" I have lost everything. My wife and children were killed right in front of my eyes. Their corpses were paraded around in town, openly mocked and disfigured. But my family can rest easy knowing that I did not bow my head when they ordered me to. "

My expression returned to normality as I looked at the observer.

" Honor is a poison that slowly corrodes every logic and reason. Many have fallen and many more will fall due to their unrelenting nature. They throw themselves headfirst into battle because their so-called pride dictates them to. In comparison to those that follow this moronic path, I do not have a deathwish."

" Life itself has the highest value. You cant take revenge if you are dead, you can not feed your family if your body is decomposing. The path I follow is the path that leads to life. Everything else is subsidiary."

The Observer had a faint smile on his lips after hearing my words. It was the first time I had seen such a genuine emotion from it. This time it spoke directly to me with a much more solemn tone in its voice

" The path you are treating is full of loneliness. You will suffer many hardships"

" What ominous words. A desolate future, danger lurking at every corner with only death waiting at the end. You know more about me, then you are willing to let in on, that might be in accordance with your plans for me, but I do not particularly care about your motivation or goals. "

" This life of mine has no place in this world. It merely is a bonus, I had been lying to myself, tricking myself into thinking that there must be a purpose for me in this world. I enjoy every second of this extension. but If I die then so be it. Do I prefer to live, yes of course, but I am not going to delude myself into hoping for miracles. Death is not something I can escape from."

A period of silence followed my words. Every single word I had spoken was earnest and fully reflected my view on life. The memories of my past were still lingering in the depths of my mind. As much as I wanted to I just could not let go of them. This world is full of possibilities but the distance to my former world is unsurmountable, it was so pointless so entirely useless but I could forget about them.

Regardless of how often I told myself that the past is not something that can be changed, I just can not come to terms with it. All I could do was laugh at my foolishness and just suppress them and keep myself busy thinking about other things.

The great Moirai speaking about freedom and honour but is running away from himself. How very fitting. I could only mock myself thinking about all of the declarations I had made. Someone like me, who always hid behind words is now lying to himself, hiding from his past.

Turning back time to fix every mistake, every wrong I ever committed is nothing but a foolish dream. Something I could lose myself in, acting like the world had become perfect. But reality sadly is not a dream. I will never be able to right my wrongs, I will never see them again.

But would someone even care? Turning over a new leaf does not absolve me from the guilt of my past. Becoming a better human, for their sake what good does that bring to them? Back on Earth, they could not care any less whether I become a better human or not.

Being a man of virtue? Would anyone in this world care? No matter what I do the only person who can hold me accountable is myself. So why should I strive to become a better person? Do I get anything out of that?

Any responsibility I could have taken up died with me up on that fateful day.

In this world, I don"t owe anyone anything. Everything I do and don"t is solely up to me to decide.

Suddenly my conscience became clear.

But hasn"t it always been that way? Looking back, I never did something for someone else. Even if I helped someone I did so that I could feel better. Seeing their joy invoked joy in me for causing such a result inside of them.

Pleasing others directly so I was pleasing myself indirectly. What a selfish motivation. Huh, seems like I have always been an a.s.shole even while being nice to everyone.

When my fancy card house of lies began to crumble, it all began to spiral out of control. My mom looked to alcohol, my sister looked at others, my father looked at his reputation and I looked away.

Then I refused to accept it, but in hindsight, I was fitting perfectly in this self-absorbed family. I can hardly blame them, after all, I am not better than them in the slightest. A pity that it took a death for me to realize my hypocrisy.

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This realisation happened subconsciously and was hard to put in words. Nothing much had changed my outlook on the world was still the same. A slight shift in my perspective made me feel a lot better about myself that was all.

At least the times of constant self-loathing came to an end I thought to myself. Many words of doubt came as an answer. Which prompted me to threaten them to prove my resolve. Knowledge indeed is power. Though I should not tease that old fogey all too much he still has too much leverage.

The Observer did not like this extended period of silence and began to speak once again.

" So what are your conditions?"

" I am glad you ask. Luckily we both speak the same language"

I consulted my tenants if they wanted something special before listing my demands to the Observer I had to keep in mind, that it had to be reasonable. After all, the Observer can only advice and propose.

" The list of my wishes is not that long and really only serves to make the live easier for me, while not posing any risk to your position. I would hardly bite the hand that feeds me. But if you try to make your presence less noticeable, picking English as the language for those NPCs is not a really bright choice."

WIthout giving the Observer any chance to retort I presented my list.

"The following things would be really nice to have... "