Tuesday, December 19 Weather: Thunder Rolling (continue)
I walked toward the table where a fatty was sitting and I said: ‘Hi, how are you? Are you Yifan’s friend? I’m Guan Xiao Bei, ……. eh, well I’m not sure whether Yifan inform you about me?’
In the winter, fatty brother only wear short sleeves T-shirt with a Che Guevara portrait, a pair of camouflage pants and a pair of shiny boots. This fatty brother appearance is very postmodern and he seemed like not hearing me. He bow his head, staring blankly at the coffee cup in front of him and for a while without any movement.
Hi…. how are you? I once again tried to approach.
When I was almost believe fatty brother was petrified, he suddenly lift up his head. He used a pair of embedding dough-like, long and narrow eyes, size me from up and down, and from between the teeth gap he squeezed out one single word: ‘sit’
I was kind being pardon to sit down and I took the gla.s.s of lemonade from the server, drink a few mouthful to clear my state of mind.
My name is Guan Xiao Bei. May I know what your name is? I tried to find an open speech with a polite greeting.
Fatty brother don’t even bother to talk to me, both of his eyes look completely relax, slanting 45 degrees and look at the wall behind me.
I turn behind, unable to discover anything, once I turn back I saw Fatty brother ridicule.
After awkward silence for 10 minutes, fatty brother unexpectedly open his mouth and faintly ask: ‘Do you know George Bernard Shaw’s dog ma?’
I was surprised for a moment: ‘That….. I hear before Erwin Schrödinger’s cat.’
‘Do you know Newton’s G.o.d of trilogy mah?’ He asked.
‘It seem that Dante Alighieri wrote The Divine Comedy…..’
Do you know how little matches die mah?
I choke on my own saliva and fiercely cough for a while. Big brother, I know how I’m going to die. Killed softly by your silently treatment.
‘Little matches run and suddenly felt itch on his head. Once he reach out with his hand he scratch, right away he burn himself to death le.’ Once he finished talking, he send out a “he, he, he, he” laughter it resemble a small Pekingese dog who is out of breath.
He suddenly stopped without any sign of voice: ‘I was telling joke, you should laugh.’
Once again I have been choke to death.
Big brother your coldness is from polar bear ah
During the time when I was out of breath my phone rang. As I just about to answer the call, the other end came a voice of Yifan who sound rejoice in other people’s misfortune: ‘Guan Xiao Be, my friend not bad right.’
I hide at the side, gnashing my teeth and say: ‘Thunder brother, where do I offended you le? You do not need to do so much ba?’
‘You said I’m a gay…..’
‘Thunder brother that is not said by me, it was from an expert opinion ah!’
‘Guan Xiao Bei, you still so stubborn. You have to take the consequences!’ Yifan furiously hung up the phone.
‘This person so ungrateful!’ I mumbled and put away my phone. I felt somebody behind me tap on my shoulder. I look behind and I saw fatty holding his mobile phone standing not far away from me.
I m.u.f.fled and asked: ‘What?’
Fatty did not talk, he laugh strangely to take credit for his achievement towards me. He waved his mobile phone and I took a closer look to discover that fatty mobile phone’s directory page show Yifan’s handsome and somehow narcissism big head, and below it written 3 words – ‘Sky Thunder Baby’.
Fatty turn towards me and nodded his head, his eyes instantly burst out extremely b.i.t.c.hy sparks…. I believe I’m also the same.
‘Possible ma?’ I asked eagerly.
‘This fit my intention!’ Fatty laugh evilly.
While I dialed the phone, I patted the fatty’s shoulder and he said: ‘Is difficult to seek for a close friend, is hard to be intimate ah!’
The call has been connected and there come the voice of Yifan: ‘How fatty? Not being intimidated by beauty right?’
I held the phone, kept silence and gloomy.
Yifan probably spotted an exception, paused and asked: ‘Hey, d.a.m.ned fatty. You didn’t do anything to little beauty ba? Dismembered her body? Or make into specimen le?’
I unexpectedly throw out a strand of violent and piercing laughter: “HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA … …”
‘Guan Xiao Bei!’ Yifan voice squeeze out between the gaps of the teeth makes me feel lively and pleasurable.
Then, I used a very fulsome and extremely ethereal voice, emphasizing each words and shouted: ‘Sky ~ Thunder ~ Baby!’
Because we pounded the table, the Café’s Manager kicked us out. From that moment Fatty and I form an indestructible brotherhood friendship.
Later I learned that fatty is called Chen Xiang. But also truly an authentic mēn sāo* man. He graduated from US. Studied Astrophysics Science with an outstanding performances and good grades. And he strongly refused many well-known foreign laboratories invitation. He then decided to return to China – selling adult products.
(闷骚/mēn sāo*: outwardly cold or retiring but deep and pa.s.sionate inside).
‘This is also contribution to physics. When human body is doing exercise is also physics ma, nevertheless is the most popular style.’ Fatty explained.
‘So all these matchmaking networks you are the one who introduce Thunder brother?’ I ask.