"It"s not fine." His hand slashed the air. "If I"d known these things..."
"You didn"t know because I didn"t tell you-or try to defend myself."
He looked at her darkly. In a way it had been so much easier yesterday, when he had believed her guilt, to take her in his arms and tell her that he was going to take her as his mistress. But now...things had s.h.i.+fted. Were different. Or were they?
He reached out a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. He saw how her body tensed, her breathing changed, her eyes widened. Stepping close to her, breathing in her own evocative scent, he could feel it wrapping around his senses, making his body tight with need. His hands lifted and he took off her gla.s.ses.
Sorcha"s hands came up automatically, but Romain was too quick. The gla.s.ses were gone. On the couch beside them. Then his hand was at the back of her head, threading through her hair, unravelling the strands, taking out the elastic band. She put a hand on his to stop him-and that was a mistake. Because she felt the strong bones, the hairs on his skin, felt the pulse thundering. Like her own. Her mouth felt dry.
"What are you doing?" she croaked out.
With a fluid, easy move he pulled her into his body. He stared down into her eyes with an ardour that made it hard to concentrate, that drove everything out of her mind. And she found herself clinging onto it.
She asked again, "What are you doing?"
His answer was to pull her into him even more, tight against his body, where it felt as if they were joined at every conceivable point.
He bent his head and his breath feathered close to her ear, making her skin tingle all over. "I told you I"d take you as my mistress...though I meant it as a form of punishment...I still want you, Sorcha...but this time it"ll be purely for pleasure."
And before she could emit a word or a sound he"d taken her mouth with his, and nothing existed but this-the physical reality of Romain de Valois kissing her as if she was the only woman on the planet. Everything was in that kiss. The apology he hadn"t articulated, the pent-up pa.s.sion that had existed since the moment she"d seen him across the room in New York.
Sorcha felt her insides melt and come back to quivering life. The enormity of what she"d just shared was too much...too cerebral. She needed the physical, welcomed the physical. Her arms went up and twined around his neck. She imagined that not even a feather would pa.s.s between them. And there, against the apex of her thighs, she could feel him, hot and heavy and hard.
"Oh..." she breathed, her own body reacting with spectacular swiftness. She could feel herself grow damp, and colour scorched her cheeks.
He pulled back and brushed a tendril of hair off her cheek. "Oh...is right..." he said huskily.
And then, as if answering some plea she wasn"t even aware of articulating, he bent his head and his mouth met hers again. There was no hesitation, no thought other than this. Now. Here. This man. This insanity where all rational thought flew out of the window.
She groaned deep in her throat when she felt him pull her even tighter, deeper. Cradled in his lap, she moved her hips in a minutely experimental gesture. He pulled back, breathing raggedly.
"Do you know what you"re doing?"
She looked up, mute, her lips feeling plump and bruised, tingling. She longed to taste him again.
With one move he"d taken her into his arms and walked over to the bed which was highlighted by the moonlight streaming into the room. He laid her down and she watched as he undid the b.u.t.tons on his s.h.i.+rt, then his torso was revealed, and even though she"d seen it before she took an intake of breath at the sheer perfection.
"Now you...I need to see you..."
Sorcha felt like a twig in a burning rapid. Something was trying to impinge on her consciousness, but she couldn"t let it. Mustn"t let it.
Very reverently, Romain came down beside her and started to lift the tunic of the salwaar kameez. Sorcha s.h.i.+fted her hips and lifted her arms, and it slipped over her head. Now her torso was bare, apart from her black lacy bra. Her skin looked incredibly white against the material. Romain was staring at her, and she felt her nipples tighten painfully.
He ran a hand over her stomach, to rest it under the curve of one breast. Her breath was growing more and more ragged. Keeping his hand there, he bent his head again, and when their lips met she strained upwards, her tongue finding and meeting his, tangling and tasting in a feverish dance. And when his hand moved up to cup her breast, to run a thumb-pad over one engorged tip, she almost cried out. She had never felt this before. And it was here, with this man, where her awakening was taking place.
With those thoughts reality intruded.
Romain"s mouth was blazing a trail of hot kisses down her neck, down to where she wanted nothing more than for him to find that tingling point, suck it into his mouth. And she knew if he did that she"d be lost.
Going against every cell in her body, with weak, ineffectual arms, she started to push at Romain"s formidable shoulders. For a moment he did nothing, his mouth still making its way ever downwards and Sorcha despaired of getting him to move. She just knew he had to...she wasn"t ready for this yet. There was no doubting where this was going to end if she didn"t stop it now.
"No...No! Romain-stop, please..."
One hand was around her ribs, just under her breast, and his mouth was a breath away from one aching hard nipple. She could have wept with frustration-but there was too much at stake and if they went any further she"d have to explain...the worst bit of all...
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
"WHAT-what is it?" His voice was hoa.r.s.e, his breathing jagged. She could feel his bare chest rise and fall against her side.
She turned her head, fighting back sudden tears. Then she pushed his hands away and sat up, moving back, taking her top and putting it over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Her hair fell around her shoulders.
What the h.e.l.l was going on? Romain couldn"t figure the lightning-fast change and went to reach for Sorcha again, his fingers itching with the need to touch, caress. He was on fire.
She scooted back even further, her eyes huge in the dim light. "No! Don"t touch me."
Such panic laced her voice that Romain jackknifed off the bed and switched on another lamp, coming to stand with hands on his hips. He looked angry and aroused and very intimidating. Sorcha swallowed miserably.
"I"m sorry...I just can"t do this. With you."
He ran a hand through his hair. "What are you talking about Sorcha? If not me then who? I don"t see you burning up for anyone else"s touch."
And the thought of her doing this with anyone else made him almost incandescent with rage.
She closed her eyes for a second to block out his potent image. Of course she didn"t burn up for anyone else. There never had been anyone else, and at this moment in time she couldn"t ever imagine feeling this way about anyone else. But he couldn"t know how deeply he"d drawn her into his web of seduction.
"I just can"t..."
Romain was pacing up and down. His s.h.i.+rt was flapping around his chest and Sorcha wished he"d stop and do it up-anything so that she wouldn"t have to look at him and get heated up all over again. He went and leant against the patio door, arms crossed, muscles bunching in a way that made him even more provocative. Sorcha avoided his gaze, holding her top in front of her like a lifeline.
He stepped out of the shadow and he saw how Sorcha shrank back into the bed ever so slightly. He also saw the flare in her eyes, and the way they ran hungrily down his chest. Her hands were shaking. But, as he came closer he saw the shadows in those clear blue depths. That vulnerability hit him square between the eyes-again.
"Why, Sorcha? Just tell me why?"
Sorcha looked at him then, and fire lit her eyes. She felt so transparent at this moment, and she hated that this man had done it to her. Somewhere along the way he"d morphed from arch nemesis into...something else, and the thought of what that might be made her very scared.
"Why do you have to know everything about me?" she asked jaggedly, conveniently forgetting her own eager response just moments before. "Can"t you just let me be?"
He came down on the bed beside her, and held her with one arm when she would have scooted away. It was warm and heavy against her skin. She could already feel how her body was responding-the tightness in her belly, her lips tingling in antic.i.p.ation of his touching hers again-and she didn"t just want him to kiss her mouth. She wanted him to kiss her...everywhere.
She closed her eyes weakly. Tonight seemed to be the night when some G.o.d had determined that she would be torn down and built up again, and she knew that somehow some very cowardly part of her had clung to his bad opinion of her, had taken Lucy"s guilt on as her own in order to avoid this...Because if he suspected the worst, then he"d never see the real her.
She opened her eyes. His face was too close, but she knew he wouldn"t be moving anywhere.
"Dites moi pourquoi...?"
Tell me why...?
Sorcha turned her head away. She felt as bared as she"d ever been, because what she was about to tell him no one knew. Words came out in a rush. Her voice was none too steady "Because...I haven"t done this before...and I don"t even know...if I"m a virgin."
She felt tears spring into her eyes and shut them tight. Her jaw wobbled. She"d heard his swift intake of breath and then nothing. Maybe he"d go? Leave? Maybe taking a virgin was a step too far for someone like-?
A warm hand came to her jaw and pulled it round gently. She kept her eyes squeezed shut.
"Sorcha. Open your eyes." His voice was husky.
She opened her eyes and knew they must be swimming as he was a blur in her vision.
He was looking at her with that intense ardour again, and it confused her.
"Do you want to tell me why you think you might not be a virgin?"
She shook her head.
He came up closer, dwarfing her body with his own, and her eyes followed him helplessly.
"I think it"s time you told someone. It might as well be me."
His words were so matter-of-fact that they actually distracted her. Sorcha looked at him, as if searching for some hidden meaning, and finally she realised that he was right. Sooner or later she would be in this situation again and right now her body was burning up for a fulfilment that only he could provide.
She took a deep breath before she spoke her next words. "When I came to in the hospital when the drug had worn off, I knew that I"d blacked out for a bit before Katie got to me. I tried to stay awake for as long as I could." She shrugged. "I never said anything...but just...always had a fear that Christian, or someone, might have done something to me and I didn"t know..."
He looked at her for a long moment. She couldn"t read his expression, but at least it didn"t have the horror in it that she"d always imagined she"d be faced with. But then he moved back, and Sorcha felt so bereft it was like a pain cramping her belly.
He got off the bed, his face all shadows and harsh angles in the light. Powerful arms folded across his chest. Driven away again.
Sorcha"s body still throbbed and pulsed. But she had to concede the thought of her being a virgin was obviously too much. She couldn"t even take in all of what she"d just told him, or how wantonly she"d acted...Her whole brain seized up in embarra.s.sment at the thought. Awkwardly she slipped her top back on and stood up from the bed too.
"I"m sorry," she said stiffly. "I should have told you before we let things..."
Romain stepped out of the shadows that had concealed him. He"d needed some kind of protection to hide the extent of the pain he knew must be etched on his face at having to stop, his arousal not having abated one bit. And to hide the shock...the need he"d had to comfort her. To think that she was a virgin made his blood fizz and jump. The urge he"d had to press her back down and subdue her fears with kisses had been almost overwhelming. But how could he do such a thing after everything she had just told him?
For the first time ever he was putting a woman"s emotional needs first, and it made him reel.
He strolled towards her doing up his s.h.i.+rt. She looked so vulnerable and so d.a.m.ned beautiful that his fingers shook on the b.u.t.tons. He stopped in front of her and willed the heat in his body to cool. He tipped her face up to his and had to stifle a groan. "Sorcha. I think you"ve been through a lot." His mouth twisted. "Much of it at my hands. Why don"t you get some rest?"
That was about all he could manage-because if he didn"t leave right now, then he"d tip her back and take her, ready or not. With that in mind, and staying well away from any erogenous zone, he pressed a swift kiss to her forehead.
Sorcha watched him walk away. Bereft didn"t even come into it. She felt as if he were tearing out her heart and carrying it with him. Again she had that feeling of needing the physical to counteract the mental...If he walked out through that door, the bubble would burst-whatever thing it was that had just happened to make her tell all. To trust him.
He was at the door, and Sorcha felt something fierce and elemental run through her. Needing what she knew only he could offer her, emboldened by everything she"d just shared, she called his name softly. So softly that he didn"t stop. His hand was on the k.n.o.b. But then, as if her call had wound its way through the air between them and reached out to him, he halted for a second.
"Romain..." she said, more strongly this time.
He turned and looked at her. She saw the lines on his face, as if he was making a supreme effort, and she prayed it was what she thought. She"d already revealed so much she felt a little invincible. Bold.
"Don"t you want to make love to me?"
He turned around and rested his whole body back against the door. He made some kind of inarticulate sound. And then he said, very hoa.r.s.ely, "More than you can imagine."
"Then don"t leave."
"Sorcha..." he said helplessly.
She gripped the bedpost. "Please, Romain. Don"t leave. I need you to...make love to me. I need you." Aghast at her nerve, she said, "If I could move I"d come over there, but I"m afraid if I do I"ll fall down..."
Her heart-aching honesty reached out and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. As if he"d even stood a chance when he"d heard that soft Romain...A heated urgency moved him, a deep throbbing in his veins, and he pushed off the door and within seconds was there-Sorcha in his arms, mouths fused, her hands wrapped tight around his waist. He could feel her whole body tremble against his.
He pulled back and looked down for just a moment. He tried to will some sanity into the situation. "Sorcha...are you sure?"
She just nodded, then reached a hand up and around the back of his head, pulling him back down to her. "I"ve never been more sure of anything in my life."
That was it. He was gone. Had just been given licence to sate the burning ache in his loins. Before he could even think about it Sorcha had reached down and pulled off her top, dropping it to the floor.
Romain undid the b.u.t.tons on his s.h.i.+rt, his eyes never leaving hers. With his s.h.i.+rt gone, he pushed her gently back onto the bed. His hand moved down her shoulder, taking her bra strap with it, his other hand taking the other one. He reached under and behind, undid the clasp, and then the wisp of material was gone.
He hovered over her like a Greek G.o.d and said, "Sorcha...just trust me. I won"t hurt you."
She nodded jerkily and fought back tears. His words made a faint alarm go off somewhere, but it was drowned out in the heady clamour of her pulse. This was so far removed from what she had envisaged this moment to be like. Nowhere to be seen was the vaguely insipid man she"d always imagined; gentle, una.s.suming, sensitive. Instead it was this man, who had all those qualities but packaged so much more dynamically. He was larger than life and he had turned her life upside down and inside out. In the s.p.a.ce of what must in reality have been just an hour, she"d bared her soul-and now she was about to bare her body completely.
The moment was so huge that she felt faint. To drive it away she reached up and pulled his head down to hers, her mouth searching blindly and finding his, their tongues meeting and mes.h.i.+ng. And soon the only thing she could think about was the need that was building inside her that had to be a.s.suaged-now.
She felt him undo the tie of her trousers and slip them down her legs. She kicked them off. Then he dealt with his own trousers. And briefs. As he came back down alongside her she caught a glimpse of the visible evidence of his arousal and her insides contracted.
Somehow her pants were gone. She couldn"t even remember if she had slipped them off or if Romain had. Their mouths clung. His hand smoothed its way down over her heated flesh, over the swell of her breast, fingers teasing the turgid tip. She rocked against him, seeking and finding that hardness. Hesitantly, she drifted a hand down between them, revelling in the feel of his smooth, silky skin. It felt hot to the touch.
She reached round and felt his behind, one taut, perfect globe, and then one muscled strong thigh. When she felt a hand exploring her belly, going lower, her breath and her wandering hand stopped. With infinite gentleness Romain"s fingers threaded through the hair that hid her s.e.x and delved into that place which was moist with her desire.
Her head fell back and he watched her face as his fingers sought and found the secrets of her body. Unconsciously she moved against his hand, seeking more. His thumb rubbed against her c.l.i.toris, fingers thrusting in and out. Her hand gripped his thigh and brokenly she begged him. "Please...Romain..."
So he did. He brought her over the edge. Felt the uncontrollable spasms of her body around his fingers. She trapped his hand with her legs, her body suddenly acutely sensitive and looked up, her cheeks flushed.
Romain smiled and took her hand, brought it down to touch him. Her eyes widened as, with his hand over hers, he let her encircle the hard shaft. "See what you do to me?"
Heat. All Sorcha could think of was heat and molten blood running through her veins. The desire was building again, spiralling, tightening every part of her. Romain came over her, one thigh between her legs, opening her up to him. Her hand fell away from him as he moved over her fully and the potent heat of him lay between her legs. Where her universe seemed to end and begin.
He pressed a kiss to her lips, a lingering one, and as he did, with his chest against hers, he slid into her tight opening. Sorcha gasped against his mouth. But he didn"t break the kiss, and slid a little deeper. Although there was no physical barrier to impede his entry, it was clear that no one had penetrated her like this before now. A fierce, elemental wave of pride and owners.h.i.+p washed through Romain. He finally took his mouth from hers and looked down. He wanted to see her face when he took her, when he was so embedded within her that she wouldn"t be able to think of anything else, anyone else.
He felt her hands on his back, her legs come up, and with that movement he couldn"t help himself sinking deeper. A brief spasm crossed her face and Romain halted immediately, his heart hammering. "Are you OK?"
She nodded and smiled. "More than OK...You feel...amazing."