Releasing her hand, Nick frowned. aIam going to visit Morgan.a aDo you think that he will take your side against Sir Rossas?a aNot a chance in h.e.l.l. But Iall at least have the satisfaction of telling Morgan what a d.a.m.ned rotten traitor he is.a Lottie leaned forward to touch the lapel of his robe. aHave you considered the possibility that they both are doing what they think is best for you? That it might be in your own interests to reclaim the t.i.tle?a aHow could it be? My G.o.d, Iall be living in a gilded cage.a aIall be there with you.a He stared at her, seemingly arrested by the words. He looked at her so intensely, for so long, that Lottie was finally moved to ask, aWhat? What are you thinking?a Nick smiled without humor. aI was just reflecting on how much better prepared you are for my life than I am.a Although Lottie had tentatively invited him to stay the night with her, Nick left after supper, retreating to the guest room a few doors away.
Iall be there with you.Her words had affected Nick curiously, just as her casual remarks at the wishing well had. She possessed a terrible knack of unraveling him with a simple phraseawords so commonplace, and yet invested with significance.
He didnat know what to make of Lottie. Despite the way he had deceived her initially, she seemed fully prepared to act as his partner. She responded to him with pa.s.sion and generosity, and in her arms he had been able to forget the secrets that had haunted him for fourteen years. He craved more of that sweet oblivion. The past few hours had been extraordinarily different from what he had experienced with Gemma. When he made love to Lottie, his l.u.s.t was enmeshed with a deep tenderness that made his physical responses unbearably acute.
She kept reaching through his defenses without even seeming to know what she was doing, and he could not allow anyone that kind of intimacy. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Lottie discovered the demons that lurked inside him. And if that happened, she would withdraw from him in horror. He had to keep a certain distance between them, otherwise she would eventually come to regard him with disgust. Or pity. The thought made his skin crawl.
He had to maintain his detachment, while even now he longed to go back to her. In all his twenty-eight years, he had never felt this painful need for someone. Just to be in the same room with her.
My G.o.d,he thought with dull horror, going to the window and staring blindly into the night.What is happening to me?
Sir Grant Morgan looked up from his desk as Nick burst into his office before morning sessions. There was no trace of apology in his hard green eyes. aI see youave spoken to Sir Ross,a he said.
Nick proceeded to give vent to his outrage in the coa.r.s.est words ever conceived in the history of the English language, leveling accusations that would have caused any other man either to cower in terror or to reach for the nearest pistol. Morgan, however, listened as calmly as if Nick were offering a description of the weather.
After an extensive rant speculating on the likelihood that Morgan was nothing but a puppet while Sir Ross pulled the strings, the chief magistrate sighed and interrupted.
aEnough,a he said shortly. aYouare beginning to repeat yourself. Unless you have anything new to add, you may as well spare yourself the breath. As to your last chargea"that this situation is all of Sir Rossas makinga"I can a.s.sure you that the decision to remove you from the force was fully as much mine as his.a Until that moment, Nick had never realized that Morganas opinion was so important to him. But he experienced a genuine stab of pain, a killing sense of betrayal and failure. aWhy?a he heard himself ask hoa.r.s.ely. aWas my performance so unsatisfactory? What more could I have done? I solved every case and caught almost every man you sent me aftera"and I did it by the rules, the way you wanted. I did everything you asked. More, even.a aThere has never been a problem with your performance,a Morgan said quietly. aYouave discharged your duties as ably as anyone could have. Iave never seen any man match you for bravery or wits.a aThen back me against Sir Ross,a Nick said roughly. aTell him to shove that writ of summons up his a.r.s.ea"that you need me at Bow Street.a Their gazes clashed and held, and then something in Morganas face changed. d.a.m.ned if he didnat look almost fatherly, Nick thought with sullen fury, despite the fact that Morgan was only about ten years older than he.
aHave a seat,a Morgan said.
aNo, I donata"a aPlease.a The invitation was uttered with steely politeness.
Please?Nick occupied the nearest chair, practically reeling in shock. Morgan had never used that word beforea"Nick wouldnat have thought it was part of his vocabulary. Gripping the arms of the scarred leather chair, Nick gazed at him warily.
The magistrate began to speak. In their three-year acquaintance, Morgan had never talked to him like this, with a friendly, rather paternal, concern. aI donat want you at Bow Street any longer, Gentry. G.o.d knows it has nothing to do with your effectiveness. Youare the best runner Iave ever seen. Since you came here, Iave tried to offer what modic.u.m of guidance I thought youad accept, and Iave watched you change from a self-serving b.a.s.t.a.r.d into a man I consider to be both dependable and responsible. But there is one thing that I regret to say has not altered. From the beginning, youave taken suicidal risks in the course of your work because you donat give a d.a.m.n about yourself or anyone else. And in my opinion, youall continue to do so if you remain herea"at the cost of your own life.a aWhy do you give a d.a.m.n?a aI was a runner for ten years, and Iave seen many men die in the course of their duties. I myself came close to it more than once. There comes a time when a man has tweaked the devilas nose once too often, and if heas too stubborn or slow-witted to realize it, heall pay with his own blood. I knew when to stop. And so must you.a aBecause of your famous instincts?a Nick mocked angrily. ad.a.m.n it, Morgan, you stayed a runner until you were thirty-five! By that count, I still have seven years to go.a aYouave tempted fate many more times in the last three years than I did in ten,a the magistrate countered. aAnd unlike you, I didnat use the job as a means to exorcize demons.a Nick remained expressionless, while the frantic questionWhat does he know? buzzed and stung in his head. Sophia was the only one who knew about the full ugliness of his past. She had probably told Cannon, who in turn might have said something to Morgana"
aNo, I donat know what those demons are,a Morgan said softly, his eyes warming with a flicker of either pity or kindness. aAlthough I can make a competent guess. Unfortunately I have no advice to offer about how to reconcile yourself with the past. All I know is that this way hasnat worked, and Iall be d.a.m.ned if I let you kill yourself on my watch.a aI donat know what the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l youare talking about.a Morgan continued as if he hadnat heard him. aIam rather inclined to agree with Sir Rossas opinion that youall never find peace until you stop living behind the shield of an a.s.sumed name. As difficult as it may be to face the world as Lord Sydney, I think it for the besta"a aWhat am I supposed to do as a viscount?a Nick asked with an ugly laugh. aCollect snuffboxes and neckties? Read papers at the club? Advise the tenants? Christ, I know as much about farming as you do!a aThere are thousands of ways a man can be of use to the world,a Morgan said flatly. aBelieve me, no one expects or desires for you to lead an indolent life.a He paused and took an ink blotter in his huge hand, regarding it thoughtfully. aThe runners will be disbanded soon, in any event. You would eventually have had to find something else to do. Iam merely precipitating the matter by a few months.a Nick felt the color drain from his face. aWhat?a Morgan grinned suddenly at his expression. aCome, that should be no surprise to you, even in light of your disinterest in politics. When Cannon left the magistracy, it was only a matter of time until the runners were dismissed. He was the heart and spirit of this placea"he devoted every waking moment to it for years, untilaa He paused tactfully, leaving Nick to fill the silence.
aUntil he met my sister,a Nick said sourly. aAnd married her.a aYes.a Morgan did not seem at all regretful about Cannonas departure from the public office. In fact, his blade-hard features softened, and his smile lingered as he continued. aThe best thing that ever happened to him. However, it was hardly a boon for Bow Street. Now that Cannon has retired, there is a movement in Parliament to strengthen the Metropolitan Police Act. And many politicians believe that the New Police would become more popular with the public if the runners werenat here to compete with them.a aThey intend to leave all of London to that bunch of half-wits?a Nick asked incredulously. aGood G.o.da"half of the New Police have no experience to speak of, and the other half are black sheep or idiotsa"a aBe that as it may, the public will never fully support the New Police while the runners remain. The old instruments cannot be installed in the new machine.a Stunned by the finality in the chief magistrateas voice, Nick fixed him with an accusing stare. aYouare not going to fight for this place? You have an obligationa"a aNo,a the chief magistrate said simply. aMy only obligation is to my wife. She and my children are more important to me than anything else. I made it clear to Cannon that I would never surrender my soul to Bow Street the way he did for so long. And he understood that.a aBut what will become of the runners?a Nick asked, thinking of his comradesaSayer, Flagstad, Gee, Ruthvenatalented men who had served the public with courage and dedication, all for a mere pittance.
aI imagine one or two will join the New Police, where they are much needed. Others will turn to other professions entirely. I may open a private investigative office and employ two or three for a while.a Morgan shrugged. Having made a relative fortune in his years at Bow Street, he had no need to work, other than at his own whim.
aMy G.o.d, I left to attend toone private case, and Iave come back to find the entire d.a.m.ned public office falling apart!a The magistrate laughed softly. aGo home to your wife, Sydney. Start making plans. Your life is changing, no matter how you try to prevent it.a aI will not be Lord Sydney,a Nick growled.
The green eyes gleamed with friendly irreverence. aThere are worse fates, my lord. A t.i.tle, land, a wifeaif you canat make something of that, there is indeed no hope for you.a
Chapter Ten.
aSomething in pale yellow, I think,a Sophia said decisively, sitting in the midst of so many fabrics that it appeared as if a rainbow had exploded in the room.
aYellow,a Lottie repeated, chewing the side of her lower lip. aI donat think that would flatter my complexion.a As this was at least the tenth suggestion that Lottie had rejected, Sophia sighed and shook her head with a smile. She had commandeered the back room in her dressmakeras shop at Oxford Street specifically for the purpose of ordering a trousseau for Lottie.
aI am sorry,a Lottie said sincerely. aI donat mean to be difficult. Clearly I have little experience with this sort of thing.a She had never been allowed to choose the styles or colors of her gowns. According to Lord Radnoras dictates, she had always worn chaste designs in dark colors. Unfortunately it was now difficult to envision herself in rich blue, or yellow, or, heaven help her, pink. And the idea of exposing most of her upper chest in public was so discomfiting that she had cringed at the daring pattern-book ill.u.s.trations that Sophia had showed her.
Nickas older sister, to her credit, was remarkably patient. She focused on Lottie with a steady blue gaze and a persuasive smile that bore an uncommon resemblance to her brotheras.
aLottie, dear, you are not being difficult in the least, buta"a aFibber,a Lottie responded immediately, and they both laughed.
aAll right,a Sophia said with a grin, ayou are being confoundedly difficult, although I am certain that it is unintentional. Therefore I am going to make two requests of you. First, please bear in mind that this is not a life-or-death matter. Choosing a gown is not so very difficult, especially when one is being advised by an astute and very fashionable frienda"which would be me.a Lottie smiled. aAnd the second request?a aThe second isaplease trust me.a As Sophia held her gaze, it was clear that the magnetism of the Sydney family was not limited to the males. She radiated a mixture of warmth and self-confidence that was impossible to resist. aI will not let you look frowzy or vulgar,a she promised. aI have excellent taste, and I have been out in London society for some time, whereas you have beenaa aBuried in Hampshire?a Lottie supplied helpfully.
aYes, quite. And if you insist on dressing in drab styles that are appropriate for a woman twice your age, you will feel out-of-place among your own crowd. Moreover, it would undoubtedly reflect badly on my brother, as the gossips will whisper that he must be stingy with you, if you go about so plainly garbeda"a aNo,a Lottie said automatically. aThat would be unfair to him, as he has given me leave to buy anything I wish.a aThen let me choose some things for you,a Sophia coaxed.
Lottie nodded, reflecting that she was probably far too guarded. She would have to learn how to rely on other people. aIam in your hands,a she said resignedly. aIall wear whatever you suggest.a Sophia fairly wriggled in satisfaction. aExcellent!a She hefted a pattern book to her lap and began to insert slips of paper between the pages she particularly liked. The light played over her dark golden hair, bringing out shades of wheat and honey in the shining filaments. She was an uncommonly pretty woman, her delicate, decisive features a feminine echo of Nickas strong face. Every now and then she paused to give Lottie an a.s.sessing gaze, followed either by a nod or a quick shake of her head.
Lottie sat placidly and drank some tea that the dressmakeras a.s.sistant had brought. It was raining heavily outside and the afternoon was gray and cool, but the room was cozy and peaceful. Intricate feminine things were draped or heaped everywhereaspills of lace, lengths of silk and velvet ribbon, cunning artificial flowers, their petals adorned with crystal beads to simulate dewdrops.
Occasionally the dressmaker appeared, conferred with Sophia and made notes, then tactfully disappeared. Some clients, Sophia had told Lottie, required the dressmaker to attend them every minute. Others were far more decided in their preferences and liked to make decisions without interference.
Lost in a peaceful reverie, Lottie almost started when Sophia spoke. aYou cannot imagine how thrilled I was when Nick wrote that he was taking a bride.a Sophia held two fabrics together and examined them critically, turning them to see how the light affected the weave. aTell me, what was it about my brother that first attracted you?a aHe is a fine-looking man,a Lottie said cautiously. aI could not help but notice his eyes, and dark hair, andahe was also very charming, andaa She paused, her mind returning to those still, sun-warmed moments by the kissing gate near the forestahow world-weary he had looked, how much in need of comfort. aDesolate,a she said, almost under her breath. aI wondered how such an extraordinary man could be the loneliest person I had ever met.a aOh, Lottie,a Sophia said softly. aI wonder why you could see that in him, when everyone else considers him to be invulnerable.a Leaning forward, she held a length of pale amber silk beneath Lottieas chin, testing it against her complexion, then lowered it. aFor most of his life, Nick has had to fight for survival. He was so young when our parents diedaand he became so rebellious afterwardaa She gave a quick little shake of her head, as if to elude a sudden swarm of painful memories. aAnd then he ran off to London, and I heard nothing of him, until one day I learned that he had been convicted of some petty crime and sentenced to a prison hulk. A few months after that, I was told that he had died of disease aboard ship. I grieved for years.a aWhy did he not come to you? He could have at least sent a letter of some kind, to spare you such unnecessary distress.a aI believe that he was too ashamed, after what had happened to him. He tried to forget that John, Lord Sydney, had ever existed. It was easier to close everything away and create a new life for himself as Nick Gentry.a aAfterwhat had happened?a Lottie asked, perplexed. aAre you referring to his imprisonment?a Sophiaas dark blue eyes searched hers. Seeming to realize that Lottie had not been told about something significant, she turned secretive. aYes, his imprisonment,a she said vaguely, and Lottie knew that Sophia was protecting her brother in some mysterious way.
aHow did you learn that he was still alive?a aI came to London,a Sophia replied, ato take revenge on the magistrate who had sentenced him to the prison hulk. I blamed him for my brotheras death. But to my dismay, I soon found myself falling in love with him.a aSir Ross?a Lottie stared at her in amazement. aNo wonder Nick disa"a Realizing what she had been about to say, she stopped abruptly.
aDislikes him so?a Sophia finished for her with a rueful smile. aYes, the two of them have no fondness for each other. However, that has not prevented my husband from doing everything he can to help Nick. You see, even after Nick joined the runners, he wasaquite reckless.a aYes,a Lottie acknowledged cautiously, ahe has quite a vigorous const.i.tution.a Sophia smiled without humor. aIam afraid it was more than that, my dear. For three years Nick has taken insane chances, not seeming to care if he lives or dies.a aBut why?a aCertain events in Nickas past have made him rather embittered and detached. My husband and Sir Grant have both endeavored to help him change for the better. I havenat always agreed with their methods. I can a.s.sure you, Sir Ross and I have engaged in some spirited debates on the matter. However, as time has pa.s.sed, it seems that my brother has improved in many ways. And Lottie, I am very much encouraged by the fact that he has married you.a She took Lottieas hand and squeezed it warmly.
aSophiaaa Lottie averted her gaze as she spoke reluctantly. aI do not think the marriage could truly be characterized as a love match.a aNo,a the other woman agreed softly. aI am afraid that the experience of loving and being loved is quite foreign to Nick. It will no doubt take some time for him to recognize the feeling for what it is.a Lottie was certain that Sophia meant to be rea.s.suring. However, the idea of Nick Gentry falling in love with her was not only improbable but alarming as well. He would never let his guard down to that extent, never allow someone such power over him, and if he did, he might very well become as obsessive and domineering as Lord Radnor. She did not want anyone to love her. Although it was clear that some people found great joy in love, such as Sophia and Sir Ross, Lottie could not help but regard it as a trap. The arrangement that she and Nick had devised was much safer.
Nick found himself strangely adrift after he left the public office. It had begun to rain, and the burgeoning clouds promised a heavier deluge yet to come. Hatless, striding along the slick pavement, he felt the cold, fat splashes of water sinking through his hair and pelting the broadcloth weave of his coat. He should seek shelter somewhereaThe Brown Bear, a tavern located across from Bow Street No. 3aor perhaps Tomas coffeehouse, where the runnersa preferred physician, Dr. Linley, was wont to appear. Or his own homeabut he shied from that thought instantly.
The rain fell harder, in cold, soaking sheets that drove street sellers and pedestrians to huddle beneath shop awnings. Scrawny boys darted into the street to fetch cabs for gentlemen who had been caught unawares by the rain. Umbrellas snapped open, their frames strained by strong gusts of wind, while the sky was part.i.tioned by jagged shafts of lightning. The air lost its characteristic stable-yard odor and took on the freshness of spring rain. Brown currents ran through the drains, washing them clear of the foul matter that the night-soil men had failed to remove during evening rounds.
Nick walked without direction, while the rain slid down his face and dripped from his chin. Usually in his off-time he went somewhere with Sayer or Ruthven to exchange stories over ale and beefsteaks, or they would attend a prizefight or a bawdy comedy at Drury Lane. Sometimes they would patrol the streets in a small pack, leisurely inspecting the thoroughfares and alleys for any sign of disruption.
Thinking of the other runners, Nick knew that soon he would lose their companionship. It was folly to hope otherwise. He could not move in their world any longera"Sir Ross had made that impossible. But why? Why couldnat the interfering b.a.s.t.a.r.d have left well enough alone? Nickas mind chased in circles, failing to apprehend the answer. Perhaps it had something to do with Sir Rossas unfailing pursuit of rightness, of order. Nick had been born a viscount and therefore must be restored to his position, no matter how unsuited he was for it.
Nick considered what he knew of the peerage, of their habits and rituals, the countless rules of conduct, the inescapable removal of landed aristocrats from the reality of common life. He tried to imagine spending the majority of his time lounging in parlors and drawing rooms, or rustling his freshly ironed newspaper at the club. Making speeches at the Lords to demonstrate oneas social conscience. Attending soirees, and prattling about art and literature, and exchanging gossip about other silk-stockinged gentlemen.
A sense of panic filled him. He hadnat felt this trapped, this overwhelmed, since he had been lowered into the dark, stinking hold of the prison hulk and chained alongside the most degraded beings imaginable. Except that then he had known that freedom lay just outside the hulls of the anch.o.r.ed ship. And now there was no place to escape.
Like an animal in a cage, his mind cast about in angry sweeps, hunting for some kind of refuge.
aGentry!a The friendly exclamation interrupted his thoughts.
Eddie Sayer approached Nick with his customary hail-fellow-well-met grin. Big, dashing, and congenial in nature, Sayer was liked by all the runners, and he was the one that Nick most trusted in a tight situation. aYouare finally back,a Sayer exclaimed, exchanging a hearty handshake. His brown eyes twinkled beneath the brim of his dripping hat. aI see youave just come from the public office. No doubt Sir Grantas given you a devil of an a.s.signment to make up for your long absence.a Nick found that his usual a.r.s.enal of ready quips was depleted. He shook his head, finding it difficult to explain how his life had turned upside down within the s.p.a.ce of a week. aNo a.s.signment,a he said hoa.r.s.ely. aIave been dismissed.a aWhat?a Sayer stared at him blankly. aYou mean for good? Youare the best man Morganas got. Why the h.e.l.l would he do that?a aBecause Iam going to be a viscount.a Suddenly Sayeras puzzlement disappeared, and he laughed. aAnd Iam going to be the duke of Devonshire.a Nick did not crack a smile, only stared at Sayer with a grim resignation that caused the other manas amus.e.m.e.nt to fade slightly.
aGentry,a Sayer asked, aisnat it a bit early for you to be this fox-faced?a aI havenat been drinking.a Ignoring the statement, Sayer gestured to Tomas coffeehouse. aCome, weall try to sober you with some coffee. Perhaps Linley is therea"he can help figure out what has made you so addlepated.a After numerous cups of coffee that had been liberally sweetened with lumps of brown sugar, Nick felt like a pocket watch that had been wound too tightly. He found little comfort in the company of Sayer and Linley, who clearly did not know what to make of his implausible claim. They pressed him for details that he was unable to give, as he could not bring himself to discuss a past that he had spent a decade and a half trying to forget. Finally he left them at the coffeehouse and walked back out into the rain. Bitterly he thought that the only period of his life in which he had been able to make decisions for himself had been his years as a crime lord. It would be d.a.m.ned easy to overlook the violent squalor of those years and think only of the savage enjoyment head taken in outwitting Sir Ross Cannon at every turn. Had someone told him back then that he would someday be working for Bow Street, andmarried , and compelled to take up the cursed family t.i.tleaholy h.e.l.l. He would have taken any and all measures to avoid such a fate.
But he could not think of what he could have done differently. The bargain with Sir Ross had been unavoidable. And from the moment he had seen Lottie standing on that wall on the river-bluff in Hampshire, he had wanted her. He knew also that he would never stop wanting her, and he should probably abandon all attempts to puzzle out why. Sometimes there were no reasonsa"a thing was just so.
Thinking of his wifeas sweetly erotic scent and her eloquent brown eyes, he suddenly found himself before a jeweleras shop. The place was devoid of customers, save one who was preparing to dash out into the downpour beneath the questionable cover of a battered umbrella.
Nick went inside just as the other man plunged out. Pushing the dripping hair out of his eyes, he glanced around the shop, noting the felt-covered tables and the door that led to the safe room in back.
aSir?a A jeweler approached him, his neck hung with a large magnifying loupe. He gave Nick a glance of pleasant inquiry. aMay I a.s.sist you?a aI want a sapphire,a Nick told him. aFor a ladyas ring.a The man smiled. aYou have done well to come here, then, as I have recently imported a magnificent selection of Ceylon sapphires. Is there a particular weight you have in mind?a aAt least five carats, without flaws. Something larger, if you have it.a The jeweleras eyes gleamed with patent eagerness. aA fortunate lady, to receive such a generous gift.a aItas for a viscountas wife,a Nick said sardonically, unfastening his rain-soaked coat.
It was afternoon by the time Nick returned to Betterton Street. Dismounting at the entrance of his house, he gave the reins to the footman, who had dashed out into the storm with an umbrella.
Refusing the umbrella, which would do him little good at this point, Nick sloshed up the front steps. Mrs. Trench closed the door against the bl.u.s.ter of the storm, her eyes widening at the sight of him. Then Lottie appeared, neat and dry in her dark gray gown, her hair silvery in the lamplight.
aGood Lord, youare half-drowned,a Lottie exclaimed, hurrying forward. She enlisted a maid to help tug the sodden coat from his shoulders and bid him remove his muddy boots right there in the hall. Nick barely heard what she said to the servants, all his awareness focused on Lottieas small form as he followed her upstairs.
aYou must be cold,a she said in concern, glancing over her shoulder. aIall start the shower-bath to warm you, and then you can sit before the fire. I was out earlier with your sistera"she came to call, and we went to Oxford Street and spent a delightful morning at the dressmakeras. I vow, you will regret giving me carte blanche with your credit, as I allowed Sophia to persuade me into ordering a shocking number of gowns. A few were positively scandalousa"I fear I shall never have the courage to wear them outside the house. And then we made an excursion to the bookshop, and it was there that Itruly lost my head. No doubt Iave made paupers of us nowaa An extensive description of her various purchases ensued, while she nudged him into the changing-room and bid him to remove his wet clothes. Nick moved with unusual care, his intense awareness of her making him almost clumsy. Lottie ascribed his slowness to a chill taken from outside, saying something about the health risks of walking about in a storm, and that he must drink a cup of tea with brandy after the shower-bath. He was not cold at all. He was burning inside, remembering details from the night beforeaher b.r.e.a.s.t.s, her open thighs, the places where silken smoothness flowed into light, intimate curls.
He could not simply fall on her the moment he entered the house, as if he had no modic.u.m of self-control. But oh, how he wanted to, he thought with a wry smile, fumbling with the fastenings of his clothes. The wet garments came off with difficulty. Despite his inner heat, he realized that he was indeed chilled. He heard the rattle of pipes as Lottie started the shower-bath, and then her hesitant tap at the door.
aIave brought your dressing robe,a came her m.u.f.fled voice. Her hand appeared around the door-frame with the burgundy velvet clutched between her fingers.
Nick looked at her small hand, the tender inside of her wrist with the little tracing of veins. Last night it had been easy to find every throb of her pulse, every vulnerable place of her body. He found himself reaching out, ignoring the robe in favor of wrapping his fingers around her delicate wrist. He pushed the door fully open and pulled her in front of him, looking down into her flushed face. It was not difficult for her to see what he wanted.
aI donat need a robe,a he said gruffly, pulling the garment from her hand and dropping it to the floor.
aThe shower-bathaa Lottie murmured, falling silent as he reached for the front placket of b.u.t.tons on her gown. His fingers became swift and self-a.s.sured, peeling the bodice apart to reveal the construction of linen and stays that molded her flesh. He pushed down her sleeves, taking the straps of the chemise with them, and set his mouth to the bare curve of her shoulder. Miraculously she relaxed in his hold with a willingness he had not expected. Inflamed, he tasted the fine skin of her shoulder, kissed and licked his way to her throat, while he coaxed her hands free of the gown and pushed it over her hips.
The shower-bath began to heat, saturating the air with steam. Nick unhooked the front of the corset, briefly compressing the hard edges of the garment, then releasing them completely. Lottie held onto his shoulders as she moved to help him strip away the rest of her undergarments. Her eyes were closed, her translucent lids trembling slightly as she began to breathe in long sighs.
Hungrily, Nick pulled her with him into the hot rain of the shower-bath. Turning her face out of the stream of water, Lottie rested her head on his shoulder, standing pa.s.sively as his hands slid over her body. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were small but plump in his hands, the nipples turning hard in the clasp of his fingers. He shaped his hands over her unrestricted waist, the swell of her hips, her round backsideacaressing her everywhere, moving her against the engorged length of his s.e.x. Moaning, she parted her thighs in compliance with his exploring hand, pushing her delicate flesh against his stroking thumb. As he entered her with his fingers, she gasped and instinctively relaxed at the gentle penetration. He caressed her, stroking in deep, secret places that brought her to the brink of climax. When she was ready to come, he lifted her against the tiled wall, one arm beneath her hips, the other behind her back. She made a sound of surprise and clung to him, her eyes widening as he pushed his c.o.c.k inside her. Her flesh closed tightly around him, swallowing every inch of his shaft as he let her settle against him.
aIave got you,a he murmured, her slippery body locked securely in his arms. aDonat be afraid.a Breathing fast, she rested her head back against his arm. With the hot water falling against his back, and the lush female body impaled on his, every lucid thought promptly evaporated. He filled her in heavy upward surges, again and again, until she cried out and clamped around him in luxurious contractions. Nick held still, feeling her quiver around him, the depths of her body becoming almost unbearably snug. Her spasms seemed to pull him deeper, drawing waves of pleasure from his groin, and he shuddered as he spent inside her.
Releasing her slowly, he let her drift down his body until her feet touched the tiled floor. He cupped a hand around her wet head and rubbed his mouth over her sodden hair, her saturated lashes, the round tip of her nose. Just as he reached her lips, she turned her face away, and he growled in frustration, dying for the taste of her. He had never wanted anything so badly. For a split second he was tempted to hold her head in his hands and crush his mouth on hers. But that wouldnat satisfy himahe could not get what he wanted from her with force.
Carrying Lottie from the shower-bath, he dried them both before the hearth in the bedroom and combed Lottieas long hair. The fine strands were dark amber when wet, turning to a pale shade of champagne when they were dry. Admiring the contrast of the shining locks against his velvet robe, he smoothed them with his fingers.
aWhat was said between you and Sir Grant?a Lottie asked, leaning back against his chest as they sat on the thick Aubusson rug. She was wearing another of his robes, which was at least three times her size.
aHe supported Sir Rossas decision, naturally,a Nick said, inwardly surprised to realize that his bitter desperation of the morning had faded considerably. It seemed that his mind was reconciling itself to the prospect of what lay ahead, however unwillingly. He told her what Morgan had said about the runners being disbanded soon, and Lottie twisted to look at him with a thoughtful frown.
aLondon without the Bow Street runners?a aThings change,a he said flatly. aSo Iam learning.a Lottie sat to face him, unthinkingly curving her arm around his propped-up knee for support. aNick,a she said cautiously, aas Sophia and I were talking today, she mentioned something that I believe you will wish to know, even though it is supposed to be a surprise.a aI donat like surprises,a he muttered. aIave had enough of them lately.a aYes, thatas what I thought.a Her eyes were clear, dark brown, like cups of shimmering caravan tea. Nick stared into her sweetly curved face, the chin too pointed, the nose too short. The little imperfections made her beauty unique and endlessly interesting, whereas more cla.s.sically shaped features would have bored him quickly. His body reacted with pleasure to the pressure of the slim arm hooked around his leg and the side of her breast brushing his knee.
aWhat did my sister tell you?a he asked.
Lottie smoothed the loose folds of the silk robe. aIt concerns your family estate in Worcestershire. Sophia and Sir Ross are having it restored, as a gift to you. They are repairing the manor and landscaping the grounds. Sophia has taken great pains to select fabrics and paints and furnishings that closely resemble the ones she remembered. She says it is rather like taking a journey back in timeathat when she walks through the front entrance, she half-expects to hear your motheras voice calling her, and to find your father smoking in the librarya"a aMy G.o.d,a Nick said through his teeth, rising to his feet.
Lottie remained before the fire, extending her hands toward its warmth. aThey want to take us there after the writ of summons arrives. I thought it best to give you advance warning, to allow you time to prepare yourself.a aThank you,a Nick managed to say tautly. aAlthough no amount of time would be sufficient for that.a The family manoraWorcestershireahe had not been back there since he and Sophia had been orphaned. Was there no d.a.m.ned escape from this? He felt as if he were being hauled inexorably toward a bottomless pit. The Sydney name, the t.i.tle, the estate, the memoriesahe wanted none of it, and it was being shoved upon him regardless.
A sudden suspicion spread through him. aWhat else did my sister tell you?a aNothing of significance.a Nick would have been able to see if his sister had confided in her. But it seemed that Sophia had not betrayed him in that way. And if she had not told Lottie by now, she would probably continue to hold her silence. Relaxing marginally, he scrubbed his fingers through his disheveled hair. ad.a.m.n everyone and everything,a he said in a low voice. But as he saw the indignant expression on Lottieas face, he added, aExcept for you.a aI should hope so,a she retorted. aI am on your side, you know.a aAre you?a he asked, drawn to the idea in spite of himself.
aYour life isnat the only one thatas been turned topsy-turvy,a she informed him. aAnd to think that I was worried about the problems thatmy family would cause!a Nick was tempted to smile in the midst of his aggravation. He went to where she sat and lowered a hand to her. aIf the rain stops,a he said, pulling her up, aweall visit your parents tomorrow.a Lottieas expressive face betrayed both consternation and eagerness. aIf it isnat convenientathat is, if you have other plansaI am willing to wait.a aI have no plans,a Nick said, thinking briefly of his dismissal. aTomorrow will be as convenient as any other day.a aThank you. I do want to see them. I only hopea"a Lottie fell silent, her brows knitting together. The hem of the robe dragged in a long train as Lottie went to the fire. Nick followed immediately, wanting very much to cuddle and rea.s.sure her, to kiss her lips until they softened beneath his.
aTry not to think about it,a he advised. aDistressing yourself wonat change anything.a aIt wonat be a pleasant visit. I canat think of a situation in which two parties could feel more mutually betrayed. Although I am certain that most people would hold me at fault.a Nick stroked the sides of her arms over the silk sleeves. aIf you had it to do over again, would you have stayed to marry Radnor?a aCertainly not.a Turning Lottie to face him, he smoothed her hair back from her forehead. aThen I forbid you to feel guilty about it.a aForbid?ashe repeated, arching her brows.
Nick grinned. aYou promised to obey me, didnat you? Well, do as I say, or face the consequences.a aWhich are?a He unfastened her robe, dropped it to the floor, and proceeded to demonstrate exactly what he meant.
The Howard family lived in a hamlet two miles west of fashionable London, a residential outgrowth surrounded by farming land. Nick remembered the well-structured but shabby house from his much earlier visit, at the beginning of his search for Lottie. The irony of returning to them as their new, very much unwanted son-in-law would have made him smile, as the situation contained strong elements of farce. However, his private amus.e.m.e.nt was tamped down by Lottieas impenetrable silence. He wished he could spare her the difficulty of seeing her family. On the other hand, it was necessary for Lottie to face them and at least try to make peace.
The small Tudor-style home was one in a row of architecturally similar houses. It was fronted with small, overgrown garden plots, its red brick exterior sadly dilapidated. The front door was raised four steps from the ground, the narrow entrance leading to two downstairs rooms that served as parlors. Beside the entrance, another set of stone steps led to the cellar below, which contained a kitchen and a water-storage tank filled from the main in the road.
Three children played in the garden plots, brandishing sticks and running in circles. Like Lottie, they were flaxen blond, fair skinned, and slim of build. Having seen the children before, Nick had been told their names, but he could not recall them. The carriage stopped on the paved coachway, and the small faces appeared at the front gate, staring through the peeling slats as Nick helped Lottie descend from the carriage.
Lottieas face was outwardly calm, but Nick saw how tightly clenched her gloved fingers were, and he experienced something he had never known beforea"concern for someone elseas feelings. He didnat like it.
Lottie stopped at the gate, her face pale. aHullo,a she murmured. aIs that you, Charles? Oh, youave grown so, I can scarcely recognize you. And Eliza, anda"good gracious, is that baby Albert?a aIam not a baby!a piped the toddler indignantly.
Lottie flushed, poised on the verge between tears and laughter. aWhy, no indeed. You must be three years old by now.a aYouare our sister Charlotte,a Eliza said. Her serious little face was sided by two long braids. aThe one who ran away.a aYes.a Lottieas mouth was touched with sudden melancholy. aI donat wish to stay away any longer, Eliza. I have missed all of you so very much.a aYou were supposed to marry Lord Radnor,a Charles said, regarding her with round blue eyes. aHe was very angry that you wouldnat, and now heas going toa"a aCharles!a A womanas agitated voice came from the doorway. aHush and come away from the gate at once.a aBut itasCharlotte ,a the boy protested.
aYes, Iam aware of that. Come now, children, all of you. Tell the cookmaid to make you some toast with jam.a The speaker was Lottieas mother, a breakably slender woman in her early forties, with an unusually narrow face and light blond hair. Nick recalled that her husband was of stocky build with full cheeks. Neither of the pair was particularly handsome, but by some trick of nature Lottie had inherited the best features of each.
aMama,a Lottie said softly, gripping the top of the gate. The children promptly fled, eager for the promised treat.
Mrs. Howard regarded her daughter with a dull gaze, harsh lines scored between her nose and mouth, and across her forehead. aLord Radnor came not two days ago,a she said. The simple sentence contained both an accusation and indictment.
Bereft of words, Lottie looked back over her shoulder at Nick. He went into action immediately, joining her at the gate and unlatching it himself. aMay we come in, Mrs. Howard?a he asked. He ushered Lottie toward the house without waiting for permission. Some devil prompted him to add, aOr shall I call you Mama?a He put a mocking emphasis on the last syllable of the word, as Lottie had.
For his effrontery, Lottie surrept.i.tiously knocked an elbow into his ribs as they entered the house, and he grinned.
The interior of the house smelled musty. The drapes at the windows had been turned many times, until both sides were unevenly sun-bleached, while the aged carpets had been worn so thin that no regular pattern was discernable. Everything from the chipped porcelain figures on the mantel to the grimy paper on the walls contributed to the picture of decayed gentility. Mrs. Howard herself gave the same impression, moving with the weary grace and self-consciousness of someone who had once been accustomed to a far better life.
aWhere is Father?a Lottie asked, standing in the center of the parlor, which was hardly bigger than a closet.
aVisiting your uncle, in town.a The three of them stood in the center of the room, while awkward silence thickened the air. aWhy have you come, Charlotte?a her mother finally asked.
aIave missed you, Ia"a Lottie paused at the resolute blankness she saw on her motheras face. Nick sensed his wifeas struggle between stubborn pride and remorse as she continued carefully. aI wanted to tell you that Iam sorry for what I did.a aI wish I could believe that,a Mrs. Howard replied crisply. aHowever, I do not. You do not regret abandoning your responsibilities, nor are you sorry for placing your own needs above everyone elseas.a Nick made the discovery that it was not easy for him to listen to someone criticizing his wifea"even if that person happened to be her own mother. For Lottieas sake, however, he concentrated on keeping his mouth shut. Clasping his hands behind his back, he focused on the indistinct design of the ancient carpet.
aI regret causing you so much pain and worry, Mama,a Lottie said. aI am also sorry for the two years of silence that have pa.s.sed between us.a Finally Mrs. Howard displayed some sign of emotion, her voice edged with anger. aThat was your faulta"not ours.a aOf course,a her daughter acknowledged humbly. aI would not presume to ask you to forgive me, buta"a aWhatas done is done,a Nick interrupted, unable to tolerate Lottieas chastened tone. He would be d.a.m.ned if he stood by while she was brought to her knees in contrition. He placed a hand at Lottieas neatly corseted waist in a possessive gesture. His cool, steady gaze caught Mrs. Howardas. aThere is nothing to be gained by talking about the past. Weave come to discuss the future.a aYou have no involvement in our future, Mr. Gentry.a The womanas blue eyes were icy with contempt. aI blame you for our situation fully as much as my daughter. I never would have talked with you, answered your questions, if I had known that your ultimate design was to take her for yourself.a aIt was not my plan.a Nick let his fingers nestle in the curve of Lottieas waist, remembering the delicious softness beneath the confining stays. aI had no idea that I would want to marry Lottie until I met her. But it was obvious thena"as it is nowa"that Lottie will be better served by a marriage to me than to Radnor.a aYou are very much mistaken,a Mrs. Howard snapped. aArrogant scoundrel! How dare you compare yourself to a peer of the realm?a Feeling Lottie stiffen at his side, Nick squeezed her subtly in a silent message not to correct her mother on that point. He was d.a.m.ned if he would use his own t.i.tle to compare himself in any way with Radnor.
aLord Radnor is a man of great wealth and refinement,a Mrs. Howard continued. aHe is highly educated and honorable in every regard. And if it werenat for my daughteras selfishness and your interference, Charlotte would now be his wife.a aYouave omitted a few points,a Nick said. aIncluding the fact that Radnor is thirty years older than Lottie and happens to be as mad as cobbleras punch.a The color on Mrs. Howardas face condensed into two bright patches high on her cheeks. aHe is not mad!a For Lottieas sake, Nick struggled to control his sudden fury. He imagined her as a small, defenseless child, being closed alone in a room with a predator like Radnor. And this woman had allowed it. He vowed silently that Lottie would never again go unprotected. He gave Mrs. Howard a hard stare. aYou saw nothing wrong in Radnoras obsessive attentions to an eight-year-old girl?a he asked softly.
aThe n.o.bility are allowed their foibles, Mr. Gentry. Their superior blood accommodates a few eccentricities. But of course, you would know nothing about that.a aYou might be surprised,a Nick said sardonically. aRegardless, Lord Radnor is hardly a model for rational behavior. The social attachments he once enjoyed have withered because of his so-called foibles. He has withdrawn from society and spends most of his time in his mansion, hiding from the sunlight. His life is centered around the effort to mold a vulnerable girl into his version of the ideal womana"one who isnat allowed even to draw breath without his permission. Before you blame Lottie for running from that, answer this question in perfect honestya"wouldyou want to marry such a man?a Mrs. Howard was spared from having to reply by the sudden arrival of Lottieas younger sister Ellie, a pretty sixteen-year-old girl with a full-cheeked face and heavily lashed blue eyes. Her hair was much darker than Lottieas, light brown instead of blond, and her figure was far more generously endowed. Coming to a breathless halt in the doorway, Ellie beheld her prodigal sister with a crow of excitement. aLottie!a She rushed forward and seized her older sister in a tight embrace. aOh, Lottie, youare back! I missed you every day, and thought of you, and feared for youa"a aEllie, Iave missed you even more,a Lottie said with a choked laugh. aI didnat dare write to you, but oh, how I wanted to. One could paper the walls with the letters I wished to senda"a aEllie,a their mother interrupted. aReturn to your room.a She was either unheard or ignored, as Ellie drew back to look at Lottie. aHow beautiful you are,a she exclaimed. aI knew you would be. I knewaa Her voice trailed away as she caught sight of Nick standing nearby. aDid youreally marry him?a she whispered with a scandalized delight that made Nick grin.
Lottie glanced at him with a curious expression. Nick wondered if she disliked having to acknowledge him as her husband. She didnat seem disgruntled, but neither did she sound wildly enthusiastic. aMr. Gentry,a Lottie said, aI believe you have met my sister?a aMiss Ellie,a he murmured with a slight bow. aA pleasure to see you again.a The girl flushed and curtsied, and looked back at Lottie. aWill you be living in London?a she asked. aWill you have me there for a visit? I so long toa"a aEllie,a Mrs. Howard said meaningfully. aGo to your room now. That is quite enough nonsense.a aYes, Mama.a The girl threw her arms around Lottie for one last hug. She whispered something in her older sisteras ear, a question that Lottie answered with a comforting murmur and a nod. Guessing that it had been another request to be invited for a visit, Nick suppressed a smile. It seemed that Lottie was not the only willful daughter in the Howard family.
With a shy glance at Nick, Ellie left the room and heaved a sigh as she walked away from the parlor.
Heartened by her sisteras obvious delight in seeing her again, Lottie sent Mrs. Howard a glance of entreaty. aMama, there are so many things I must tell youa"a aI am afraid there is no point in further discussion,a her mother said with brittle dignity. aYou have made your choice, and so have your father and I. Our connection with Lord Radnor is too entrenched to break. We will fulfill our obligations to him, Charlottea"even if you are unwilling.a Lottie stared at her in confusion. aHow would you accomplish that, Mama?a aThat is no longer your concern.a aBut I donat seea"a Lottie began, and Nick interrupted, his gaze fastened on Mrs. Howard. For years he had successfully negotiated with hardened criminals, overworked magistrates, the guilty, the innocent, and everyone in-between. He would be d.a.m.ned if he couldnat come to some sort of compromise with his own mother-in-law.
aMrs. Howard, I understand that I am not your first choice as a husband for Lottie.a He gave her the wry, charming smile that worked well with most women. aThe devil knows that I wouldnat be anyoneas preference. But as things stand, I will prove a far more generous benefactor than Radnor.a He glanced deliberately at their dilapidated surroundings and returned his gaze to hers. aThere is no reason you shouldnat make improvements to the house and refurbish it to your satisfaction. I will also pay for the childrenas education and see to it that Ellie has a proper coming-out. If you like, you can travel abroad and spend the summer months at the coast. Tell me whatever you want and you shall have it.a The womanas expression was frankly disbelieving. aAnd why would you do all that?a aFor my wifeas pleasure,a he replied without hesitation.
Lottie turned to him with a round-eyed gaze of wonder. Casually he fingered the collar of her bodice, thinking that it was a small price to pay for what she gave him.
Unfortunately the intimate gesture seemed to harden Mrs. Howard against him. aWe want nothing from you, Mr. Gentry.a aI understand that youare in debt to Radnor,a Nick persisted, feeling there was no way to address the issue other than with bluntness. aI will take care of that. Iave already offered to repay him for Lottieas years at school, and I will a.s.sume your other financial obligations as well.a aYou canat afford to keep such promises,a Mrs. Howard said. aAnd even if you could, the answer would still be no. I bid you take your leave, Mr. Gentry, as I will not discuss the matter any more.a Nick gave her a searching stare, detecting desperationauneasinessaguilt. His every instinct warned him that she was hiding something. aI will call on you again,a he said gently, awhen Mr. Howard is at home.a aHis answer will be no different than mine.a Nick did not indicate that he had heard the refusal. aGood day, Mrs. Howard. We take our leave with every wish for your health and happiness.a Lottieas fingers clenched tightly through Nickas coat sleeve as she fought to master her emotions. aGood-bye, Mama,a she said huskily and walked out with him.
Nick handed her carefully into the carriage and glanced back at the empty garden plot. All the windows of the house were vacant, except for one on the upper floor, where Ellieas round face appeared. She waved forlornly and rested her chin on her hands as the carriage door closed.