"I," he said, "am that son. Come on over."
We shook hands. I sat and ordered a final round for us, as if we were celebrating something, or holding a wake, n.o.body seemed to know which. After the barman delivered the drinks, I said, "To nineteen fifty-two, a toast. A good year? Bad year? Here"s to it, anyway!"
We drank and the young-old man said, almost immediately, "You"re wondering what ever happened to my father."
"My G.o.d," I sighed.
"No, no," he a.s.sured me, "it"s all right. A lot of people have wondered, have asked, over the years."
The boy inside the older man nursed his martini and remembered the past.
"Do you tell people when they ask?" I said.
"I do."
I took a deep breath. "All right, then. What did happen to your father?"
"He died."
There was a long pause.
"Is that all?"
"Not quite." The young-old man arranged his gla.s.s on the table in front of him, and placed a napkin at a precise angle to it, and fitted an olive to the very center of the napkin, reading the past there. "You remember what he was like?"
"Vividly."
"Oh, what a world of meaning you put into that "vividly"!" The young-old man snorted faintly. "You remember his marches up, down, around the pool, left face, right, tenshun, don"t move, chin-stomach in, chest out, harch two, hut?"
"I remember."
"Well, one day in nineteen fifty-three, long after the old crowd was gone from the pool, and you with them, my dad was drilling me outdoors one late afternoon. He had me standing in the hot sun for an hour or so and he yelled in my face, I can remember the saliva spray on my chin, my nose, my eyelids when he yelled: don"t move a muscle! don"t blink! don"t twitch! don"t breathe till I tell you! You hear, soldier? Hear? You hear? Hear?!
""Sir!" I gritted between my teeth.
"As my father turned, he slipped on the tiles and fell in the water."
The young-old man paused and gave a strange small bark of a laugh.
"Did you know? Of course you didn"t. I didn"t either . . . that in all those years of working at various pools, cleaning out the showers, replacing the towels, repairing the diving boards, fixing the plumbing, he had never, my G.o.d, never learned to swim! Never! Jesus. It"s unbelievable. Never.
"He had never told me. Somehow, I had never guessed! And since he had just yelled at me, instructed me, ordered me: eyes right! don"t twitch! don"t move! I just stood there staring straight ahead at the late afternoon sun. I didn"t let my eyes drop to see, even once. Just straight ahead, by the numbers, as told.
"I heard him thrashing around in the water, yelling. But I couldn"t understand what he said. I heard him suck and gasp and gargle and suck again, going down, shrieking, but I stood straight, chin up, stomach tight, eyes level, sweat on my brow, mouth firm, b.u.t.tocks clenched, ramrod spine, and him yelling, gagging, taking water. I kept waiting for him to yell, "At ease!" "At ease!" he should have yelled, but he never did. So what could I do? I just stood there, like a statue, until the shrieking stopped and the water lapped the pool rim and everything got quiet. I stood there for ten minutes, maybe twenty, half an hour, until someone came out and found me there, and they looked down in the pool and saw something deep under and said Jesus Christ and finally turned and came up to me, because they knew me and my father, and at last said, At Ease.
"And then I cried."
The young-old man finished his drink.
"You see, the thing is, I couldn"t be sure he wasn"t faking. He"d done tricks like that before, to get me off guard, make me relax. He"d go around a corner, wait, duck back, to see if I was ramrod tall. Or he"d pretend to go into the men"s room, and jump back to find me wrong. Then he"d punish me. So, standing there by the pool that day, I thought, it"s a trick, to make me fall out. So I had to wait, didn"t I, to be sure? . . . to be sure."
Finished, he put his empty martini gla.s.s down on the tray and sat back in his own silence, eyes gazing over my shoulder at nothing in particular. I tried to see if his eyes were wet, or if his mouth gave some special sign now that the tale was told, but I saw nothing.
"Now," I said, "I know about your father. But . . . what ever happened to you?"
"As you see," he said, "I"m here."
He stood up and reached over and shook my hand.
"Good night," he said.
I looked straight up in his face and saw the young boy there waiting for orders five thousand afternoons back. Then I looked at his left hand; no wedding ring there. Which meant what? No sons, no future? But I couldn"t ask.
"I"m glad we met again," I heard myself say.
"Yes." He nodded, and gave my hand a final shake. "It"s good to see you made it through."
Me, I thought. My G.o.d! Me?!
But he had turned and was walking off down the aisle, beautifully balanced, not swaying with the train"s motion, this way or that. He moved in a clean, lithe, well-cared-for body, which the train"s swerving could do nothing to as he went away.
As he reached the door, he hesitated, his back to me, and he seemed to be waiting for some final word, some order, some shout from someone.
Forward, I wanted to say, by the numbers! March!
But I said nothing.
Not knowing if it would kill him, or release him, I simply bit my tongue, and watched him open the door, slip silently through, and stride down the corridor of the next sleeping car toward a past I just might have imagined, toward a future I could not guess.
APRIL 2005: USHER II.
""DURING THE WHOLE OF A DULL, DARK, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been pa.s.sing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country, and at length found myself, as the shades of evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. . . .""
Mr. William Stendahl paused in his quotation. There, upon a low black hill, stood the House, its cornerstone bearing the inscription 2005 A.D.
Mr. Bigelow, the architect, said, "It"s completed. Here"s the key, Mr. Stendahl."
The two men stood together silently in the quiet autumn afternoon. Blueprints rustled on the raven gra.s.s at their feet.
"The House of Usher," said Mr. Stendahl with pleasure. "Planned, built, bought, paid for. Wouldn"t Mr. Poe be delighted?"
Mr. Bigelow squinted. "Is it everything you wanted, sir?"
"Yes!"
"Is the color right? Is it desolate and terrible?"
"Very desolate, very terrible!"
"The walls are-bleak?"
"Amazingly so!"
"The tarn, is it "black and lurid" enough?"
"Most incredibly black and lurid."
"And the sedge-we"ve dyed it, you know-is it the proper gray and ebon?"
"Hideous!"
Mr. Bigelow consulted his architectural plans. From these he quoted in part: "Does the whole structure cause an "iciness, a sickening of the heart, a dreariness of thought"? The House, the lake, the land, Mr. Stendahl?"
"Mr. Bigelow, it"s worth every penny! My G.o.d, it"s beautiful!"
"Thank you. I had to work in total ignorance. Thank the Lord you had your own private rockets or we"d never have been allowed to bring most of the equipment through. You notice, it"s always twilight here, this land, always October, barren, sterile, dead. It took a bit of doing. We killed everything. Ten thousand tons of DDT. Not a snake, frog, or Martian fly left! Twilight always, Mr. Stendahl; I"m proud of that. There are machines, hidden, which blot out the sun. It"s always properly "dreary.""
Stendahl drank it in, the dreariness, the oppression, the fetid vapors, the whole "atmosphere," so delicately contrived and fitted. And that House! That crumbling horror, that evil lake, the fungi, the extensive decay! Plastic or otherwise, who could guess?
He looked at the autumn sky. Somewhere above, beyond, far off, was the sun. Somewhere it was the month of April on the planet Mars, a yellow month with a blue sky. Somewhere above, the rockets burned down to civilize a beautifully dead planet. The sound of their screaming pa.s.sage was m.u.f.fled by this dim, soundproofed world, this ancient autumn world.
"Now that my job"s done," said Mr. Bigelow uneasily, "I feel free to ask what you"re going to do with all this."
"With Usher? Haven"t you guessed?"
"No."
"Does the name Usher mean nothing to you?"
"Nothing."
"Well, what about this name: Edgar Allan Poe?"
Mr. Bigelow shook his head.
"Of course." Stendahl snorted delicately, a combination of dismay and contempt. "How could I expect you to know blessed Mr. Poe? He died a long while ago, before Lincoln. All of his books were burned in the Great Fire. That"s thirty years ago-1975."
"Ah," said Mr. Bigelow wisely. "One of those!"
"Yes, one of those, Bigelow. He and Lovecraft and Hawthorne and Ambrose Bierce and all the tales of terror and fantasy and horror and, for that matter, tales of the future were burned. Heartlessly. They pa.s.sed a law. Oh, it started very small. In 1950 and "60 it was a grain of sand. They began by controlling books of cartoons and then detective books and, of course, films, one way or another, one group or another, political bias, religious prejudice, union pressures; there was always a minority afraid of something, and a great majority afraid of the dark, afraid of the future, afraid of the past, afraid of the present, afraid of themselves and shadows of themselves."
"I see."
"Afraid of the word "politics" (which eventually became a synonym for Communism among the more reactionary elements, so I hear, and it was worth your life to use the word!), and with a screw tightened here, a bolt fastened there, a push, a pull, a yank, art and literature were soon like a great twine of taffy strung about, being twisted in braids and tied in knots and thrown in all directions, until there was no more resiliency and no more savor to it. Then the film cameras chopped short and the theaters turned dark, and the print presses trickled down from a great Niagara of reading matter to a mere innocuous dripping of "pure" material. Oh, the word "escape" was radical, too, I tell you!"
"Was it?"
"It was! Every man, they said, must face reality. Must face the Here and Now! Everything that was not so must go. All the beautiful literary lies and flights of fancy must be shot in mid-air! So they lined them up against a library wall one Sunday morning thirty years ago, in 1975; they lined them up, St. Nicholas and the Headless Horseman and Snow White and Rumpelstiltskin and Mother Goose-oh, what a wailing!-and shot them down, and burned the paper castles and the fairy frogs and old kings and the people who lived happily ever after (for of course it was a fact that n.o.body lived happily ever after!), and Once Upon A Time became No More! And they spread the ashes of the Phantom Rickshaw with the rubble of the Land of Oz; they filleted the bones of Glinda the Good and Ozma and shattered Polychrome in a spectroscope and served Jack Pumpkinhead with meringue at the Biologists" Ball! The Beanstalk died in a bramble of red tape! Sleeping Beauty awoke at the kiss of a scientist and expired at the fatal puncture of his syringe. And they made Alice drink something from a bottle which reduced her to a size where she could no longer cry "Curiouser and curiouser," and they gave the Looking Gla.s.s one hammer blow to smash it and every Red King and Oyster away!"
He clenched his fists. Lord, how immediate it was! His face was red and he was gasping for breath.
As for Mr. Bigelow, he was astounded at this long explosion. He blinked and at last said, "Sorry. Don"t know what you"re talking about. Just names to me. From what I hear, the Burning was a good thing."
"Get out!" screamed Stendahl. "You"ve done your job, now let me alone, you idiot!"
Mr. Bigelow summoned his carpenters and went away.
Mr. Stendahl stood alone before his House.
"Listen here," he said to the unseen rockets. "I came to Mars to get away from you Clean-Minded people, but you"re flocking in thicker every day, like flies to offal. So I"m going to show you. I"m going to teach you a fine lesson for what you did to Mr. Poe on Earth. As of this day, beware. The House of Usher is open for business!"
He pushed a fist at the sky.
The rocket landed. A man stepped out jauntily. He glanced at the House, and his gray eyes were displeased and vexed. He strode across the moat to confront the small man there.
"Your name Stendahl?"
"Yes."
"I"m Garrett, Investigator of Moral Climates."
"So you finally got to Mars, you Moral Climate people? I wondered when you"d appear."
"We arrived last week. We"ll soon have things as neat and tidy as Earth." The man waved an identification card irritably toward the House. "Suppose you tell me about that place, Stendahl?"
"It"s a haunted castle, if you like."
"I don"t like, Stendahl, I don"t like. The sound of that word "haunted.""
"Simple enough. In this year of our Lord 2005 I have built a mechanical sanctuary. In it copper bats fly on electronic beams, bra.s.s rats scuttle in plastic cellars, robot skeletons dance; robot vampires, harlequins, wolves, and white phantoms, compounded of chemical and ingenuity, live here."
"That"s what I was afraid of," said Garrett, smiling quietly. "I"m afraid we"re going to have to tear your place down."
"I knew you"d come out as soon as you discovered what went on."
"I"d have come sooner, but we at Moral Climates wanted to be sure of your intentions before we moved in. We can have the Dismantlers and Burning Crew here by supper. By midnight your place will be razed to the cellar. Mr. Stendahl, I consider you somewhat of a fool, sir. Spending hard-earned money on a folly. Why, it must have cost you three million dollars-"
"Four million! But, Mr. Garrett, I inherited twenty-five million when very young. I can afford to throw it about. Seems a dreadful shame, though, to have the House finished only an hour and have you race out with your Dismantlers. Couldn"t you possibly let me play with my Toy for just, well, twenty-four hours?"
"You know the law. Strict to the letter. No books, no houses, nothing to be produced which in any way suggests ghosts, vampires, fairies, or any creature of the imagination."