"How long you been holding it?" asked someone from the crowd.
Officer Hamilton checked the reading. "Four years," he said, impressed at Linda"s self-restraint. the crowd nodded its approval.
"My goodness," said Barry. "Most of the other tickets have been circulating a lot faster than that. "
"Sure have," said Officer Hamilton.
"How long have they been out?" Barry asked.
"A couple have been out for almost a year and one for about nine months. I"m not sure about the other two. I"d have to look it up. "
"Looks like another one"s going back into circulation," someone said. The crowd hummed with excitement.
Officer Hamilton led Linda away from the crowd. Linda glanced back at Sarah who signaled that she would be in the waiting room, an unimpressive area set off by grey part.i.tions. It contained little more than four chairs, a television dangling from the ceiling, and two ash trays. "thanks," mouthed Linda.
They ended up in a small, secluded room in the back of the station. Linda took her place in a wooden chair behind an aging table. On a corner shelf stood a drip coffeepot containing the last few drops after a long day.
Officer Hamilton held up a Styrofoam cup. "Coffee? Looks like there"s enough for one more cup. "
"No thanks," said Linda. She could have actually used a cup of coffee, but not from that pot.
Officer Hamilton sat in the chair across from Linda. "Well," he said, "the enforcement isn"t over. . . "
"Until the paperwork"s done," finished Linda, quoting the handbook. "this is the hard part, isn"t it?"
"There"s no hard part," he said. "It"s all easy. " He smiled, placed an official looking form on the table and put on a pair of bifocals. He read the form quickly to himself, vocalizing a few key phrases, orienting himself on how to proceed.
"Are you ready?" he finally asked. Linda nodded.
"What is your name?"
Linda gave him a "you"ve got to be kidding me" look.
"These are standard questions, Linda. Just humor me. "
"Linda Jackson. "
"Gender?"
Linda didn"t even answer. "Female," said Officer Hamilton in response to his own question. "Marital Status?"
"Widowed," said Linda.
"Oh yes," he said. "that"s kind of why we"re here, isn"t it. "
"It is. "
"Where did you execute the enforcement?"
"In my living room. "
"Why did you execute the enforcement?"
"Is that important?" asked Linda.
"We track these things for statistical purposes. "
"I think the real question should be why didn"t I do it sooner. "
"Why didn"t you? You"ve had the red card for almost four years. "
"I don"t know. At first I didn"t want to use it because then I wouldn"t have one. But later it just became a challenge. "
"A challenge?"
"Sometimes he would egg me on, dare me to use it. "
"He knew you had a red card?"
Linda wasn"t sure how to answer this. She knew she wasn"t supposed to tell Larry about the red card.
"Just answer honestly," said Officer Hamilton. "You have nothing to worry about. You performed an enforcement while in possession of a valid red card. That"s it. It"s that simple. These questions are just to help us improve the program. "
"He knew," said Linda. "He"s known for years. It was a mistake to tell him because then he would test me. It was like Russian roulette. "
Officer Hamilton made a quick note.
"Is that alright? Am I in trouble?"
"Well some people view it as having an unfair advantage over other citizens. But in this case it doesn"t seem to have made a difference. "
"But it should have made a difference. " Linda looked at Officer Hamilton and wondered if she was getting through to him. She wanted to tell him how things were supposed to be different, how they were supposed to get better, slowly, incrementally, but better. Her plans were never to kill Larry but to keep him alive, to keep him alive forever. "It should have made a big difference," she said. "He knew I had a card. "
"Had he been drinking?"
"He"d been out messing around. He always seemed to be going someplace. "
"Why did you shoot him?" asked Officer Hamilton, trying the question one more time.
"I really don"t know," said Linda. "I think I just snapped. "
"Linda," he said. His eyes narrowed. "People with red cards are allowed to snap. It"s their duty to snap. "
Officer Hamilton pressed on with questions for almost half an hour. How did you feel? Where did you keep your card? Did the handbook prepare you for your role as an enforcer? Linda answered as best she could, but she was ready for it all to end.
Finally, Officer Hamilton put down his pencil. "that"s it," he said.
"Really?"
"That wasn"t so bad was it?"
"Not too bad. Anything else?"
"Just a word of advice," said Officer Hamilton. "If you ever get another red card, don"t tell anyone. I don"t even know who has them. The program is random and anonymous. That"s what makes it work. If you start taking those factors out, the program loses its effectiveness. "
"Of course," she said, a little embarra.s.sed at having made such a careless mistake.
Officer Hamilton released Linda and led her to the hallway out. "Do you need a ride?" he asked.
"I"ll go back with Sarah," she said. "I could use a restroom though. "
In the restroom, Linda checked herself in the mirror. Her lipstick had faded from the right side of her upper lip, and black mascara crept up towards her eyebrow. Her blush had cracked except for the glow on her nose. The night had been hard on her face; she looked old and tired. She freshened her lipstick, brushed her hair, and killed the shine on her nose. It seemed futile. She would need to check Truly Beautiful for a look that could hold up better.
Linda left the restroom and walked down the long hall to join Sarah in the waiting area. She paused at the end of the hall, dwarfed by the grey part.i.tions that separated the waiting area from the rest of the police station. She could hear voices, several of them, mingling, Sarah"s dominant among them.
Linda looked above the part.i.tion and saw a small television, muted and pathetic, hanging from the ceiling. The television"s color had shifted long ago, and a bald, blue man in a sweater dispensed advice. She thought she might have seen him before. He seemed vaguely familiar. Was his name Richard? She wasn"t sure, but he seemed like a Richard to her. Maybe it wasn"t advice; he could be warning her about something, some disaster, some great flood.
"Well I know what I"ll do if I get the card next," she heard Jerry Miles say.
"Shoot yourself?" asked Freddy Nevers.
"Never mind, I just changed my plan," cackled Jerry.
"Well, if either of you get a card, let me know," said Sarah. "You tend to live a lot longer if you know who has the cards. "
Richard now held a green spray bottle. He was selling something. Of course. Why advise or warn when you can sell. Linda decided to wait until the conversation settled down a little more before joining Sarah. Conversations tended to die once Linda entered into them.
"I never know who has the cards," said Jerry.
"I try to make it my business," said Sarah. "I try to make everything my business. " She spit out the words as if they were rehea.r.s.ed.
Richard, energetic and pa.s.sionate now, waved the bottle about in his left hand. He held up a shirt and sprayed it. Linda moved closer to the television, but she couldn"t tell if the spray had any effect. Richard sprayed the bottle on the floor and then on himself. He was obviously proud of its versatility. He looked straight at Linda and urged her to buy his product. She needed it. She needed to have what he was selling.
"What about Linda?" asked Jerry.
"I"ve known Linda for years," said Sarah. "Her husband too. "
"I knew her," said Freddy.
"But not like I knew her, dear. "
Linda hated to interrupt; Sarah seemed to be enjoying herself. She wondered what it would be like to enjoy yourself. Linda continued to watch the commercial, one of those long ones, one of those that could go on for five minutes. Richard had toned down the sell and appeared to be whispering, enunciating every word. He had two bottles now, one cradled under each arm, and he was talking to Linda, directly to Linda, only to Linda.
"Well, she shops at my store," said Jerry. "Buys a lot of makeup. Careful shopper. Always did like her. "
"Sweetheart, you have to like someone who has a red card," said Sarah. "Kind of dangerous not to. "
"How would I have known she had a red card?" asked Jerry.
"I knew," said Sarah.
"You knew she had a red card?"
"Of course she had the card. "
"I suspected, but I was never sure," said a voice Linda didn"t recognize. He seemed to be acting more important than he actually was.
"I"ve known it for years. I"m surprised you all didn"t know. " Sarah paused for effect. "Oh, I forgot, you all weren"t sleeping with her husband?" the crowd laughed. "Well, I guess I won"t have to like her anymore," said Sarah.
Richard made his final plea. Under him flashed a phone number, barely legible, followed by the words,"Miracle Madness, for when clean isn"t clean enough. " Linda listened for the conversation to continue, but it had stalled. Even Sarah was silent.
Linda pulled back into the hall, found a phone near the ladies" restroom, and called the toll free number.
"I want to place an order," said Linda.
"Which product?"
"Miracle Madness. "
"Oh, you are going to love it. And with that you get Miracle Madness Plus. "
After Linda had provided her billing information, she joined Sarah and the others in the waiting room. "Sarah," she said as she rounded the part.i.tion, "I"m all done now. "
"Wonderful," said Sarah. "You"ve had a hard day and it"s time to get you home. "
When the taxi dropped them off at Linda"s place well after midnight, Sarah was in full motion, feeding off the energy of the evening. Linda had been quiet during the drive home, but she didn"t need to speak since Sarah had rambled on without stopping. Sarah had pretty well resolved most of Linda"s problems. She had told her how to improve her career-after all you can"t stay a librarian your entire life. She had told her how to improve her looks-Those bangs just have to go; they do absolutely nothing for you. She had told her how to improve her general disposition-you have got to stop moping about.
Finally Linda asked, "What do I do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"The handbook never talked about this part. I don"t know what to do next. "
"Well," said Sarah, "tomorrow we need to plan Mr. Jackson"s funeral. I guess that would be next. "
"Of course," said Linda.
"Then we bury him, and then you get on with your life. "
"We need to plan a funeral," said Linda.
"Now don"t be afraid to call if you need anything," said Sarah as they entered the house. "Really. Anything at all. "
"Anything?"
"Absolutely. Whatever you need. "
"Can I stay with you?" asked Linda.