"Thank you, Ms. Kim. An agent will be in contact regarding your severance. Do not return to your desk. An officer will escort you off the campus. "
And then it"s over, five nineteen by the clock on Mr. Binder"s office wall, and she"s led from the building by a silent woman with shiny, video-capture eyes, from the building and all the way back to the Palisades lev station, where the officer waits with her until the next train back to Manhattan arrives and she"s aboard.
It"s raining again by the time Farasha reaches Ca.n.a.l Street, a light, misting rain that"ll probably turn to sleet before morning. She thinks about her umbrella, tucked beneath her desk as she waits for the security code to clear and the lobby door to open. No, she thinks, by now they"ll have gotten rid of it. By now, they"ll have cleared away any evidence I was ever there.
She takes the stairs, enough of elevators for one day, and by the time she reaches her floor, she"s breathless and a little lightheaded. There"s a faintly metallic taste in her mouth, and she looks back down the stairwell, picturing her body lying limp and broken at the very bottom.
"I"m not a coward," she says aloud, her voice echoing between the concrete walls, and then Farasha closes the red door marked exit and walks quickly down the long, fluorescent-lit hallway to her apartment. At least, it"s hers until the tenant committee gets wind of her dismissal, of the reasons behind her dismissal, and files a pet.i.tion for her relocation with the housing authority.
Someone has left a large manila envelope lying on the floor in front of her door. She starts to bend over to pick it up, then stops and glances back towards the door to the stairs, looks both ways, up and down the hall, to be sure that she"s alone. She briefly considers pressing #0 on the keypad and letting someone in the lobby deal with this. She knows it doesn"t matter if there"s no one else in the hallway to see her pick up the envelope, because the cameras will record it.
"f.u.c.k it all," she says, reaching for the envelope. "they can"t very well fire me twice. "
There"s a lot left they can do, she thinks, some mean splinter of her that"s still concerned with the possibility of things getting worse. You don"t even want to know all the things left they can do to you.
Farasha picks up the envelope, anyway.
Her name has been handwritten on the front, printed in black ink, neat, blocky letters at least an inch high, and beneath her name, in somewhat smaller lettering, are two words-invitation transcend. The envelope is heavier than she expected, something more substantial inside than paper; she taps her code into the keypad, and the front door buzzes loudly and pops open. Farasha takes a moment to reset the lock"s eight-digit code, violating the terms of her lease-as well as one munic.i.p.al and two federal ordinances-then takes the envelope to the kitchen counter.
Inside the manila envelope there are a number of things, which she spreads out across the countertop, then examines one by one. There"s a single yellowed page torn from an old book; the paper is brittle, and there"s no indication what the book might have been. The top of the page bears the header Childhood of the Human Hero, so perhaps that was the t.i.tle. At the bottom is a page number, 327, and the following paragraph has been marked with a blue highlighter: The feats of the beloved Hindu savior, Krishna, during his infant exile among the cowherds of Gokula and Brindaban, const.i.tute a lively cycle. A certain goblin named Putana came in the shape of a beautiful woman, but with poison in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. She entered the house of Yasoda, the foster mother of the child, and made herself very friendly, presently taking the baby in her lap to give it suck. But Krishna drew so hard that he sucked away her life, and she fell dead, rea.s.suming her huge and hideous form. When the foul corpse was cremated, however, it emitted a sweet fragrance; for the divine infant had given the demoness salvation when he had drunk her milk.
At the bottom of the page, written with a pencil in very neat, precise cursive, are three lines Farasha recognizes from T. S. Eliot: And I will show you something different from either/Your shadow @ morning striding behind you/Or your shadow @ evening rising up to meet you.
There are three newspaper clippings, held together with a somewhat rusty gem clip, all regarding the use of biological agents by pro-Pakistani forces in Sonepur and Baudh (which turns out to be another city on the Mahanadi River). More than three million are believed dead, one article states, though the quarantine has made an accurate death toll impossible, and the final number may prove to be many times that. Both the CDC and WHO have been refused entry into the contaminated areas, and the nature of the contagion remains unclear. There are rumors of vast fires burning out of control along the river, and of ma.s.s disappearances in neighboring towns, and she reads the names of Sikh and a.s.samese rebel leaders who have been detained or executed.
There is a stoppered gla.s.s vial containing what looks to Farasha like soot, perhaps half a gram of the black powder, and the vial is sealed with a bit of orange tape.
There is a photocopy of an eight-year-old NASA press release on the chemical composition of water-ice samples recovered from the lunar north pole, and another on the presence of "polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, oxidized sulfide compounds, and carbonate globules" in a meteorite discovered embedded in the Middle Devonian-aged rocks of Antarctica"s Mt. Gudmundson in July 2037.
Finally, there"s the item which gave the envelope its unexpected weight, a silvery metallic disk about ten centimeters in diameter and at least two centimeters thick. Its edges are beveled and marked by a deep groove, and there is a p.r.o.nounced dimple in the center of one side, matching a swelling at the center of the other. The metal is oddly warm to the touch, and though it seems soft, almost pliant in her hands, when Farasha tries to scratch it with a steak knife, she"s unable to leave even the faintest mark.
She glances at the clock on the wall above the refrigerator and realizes that more than two hours have pa.s.sed since she sat down with the envelope, that she has no sense of so much time having pa.s.sed unnoticed, and the realization makes her uneasy. I have slipped and fallen off the earth, she thinks, remembering Mr. Binder"s potted rhododendron. Not even time can find me now. And then she looks back at the contents of the manila envelope.
"Is it a riddle?" she asks aloud, asking no one or herself or whoever left the package at her doorstep. "Am I supposed to understand any of this?"
For an answer, her stomach growls loudly, and Farasha glances at the clock again, adding up all the long hours since breakfast. She leaves the papers, the gla.s.s vial, the peculiar metal disk, the empty envelope-all of it-lying on the countertop and makes herself a cheddar-cheese sandwich with brown mustard. She pours a gla.s.s of soy milk and sits down on the kitchen floor. Even unemployed ghosts have to eat, she thinks and laughs softly to herself. Even dead women drifting alone in s.p.a.ce get hungry now and then.
When she"s finished, she sets the dirty dishes in the sink and goes back to her stool at the counter, back to pondering the things from the envelope. Outside, the rain has turned to sleet, just as she suspected it would, and it crackles coldly against the windows.
The child reaches out her hand, straining to touch the painting, and her fingertips dip into salty, cool water. Her lips part, and air escapes through the s.p.a.ce between her teeth and floats in swirling, gla.s.sy bubbles towards the surface of the sea. She kicks her feet, and the shark"s sandpaper skin slices through the gloom, making a sound like metal sc.r.a.ping stone. If she looked down, towards the sandy place where giant clams lie in secret, coral- and anemone-encrusted gardens, she"d see sparks fly as the great fish cuts its way towards her. The sea is not her protector and isn"t taking sides. She came to steal, after all, and the shark is only doing what sharks have done for the last four hundred and fifty million years. It"s nothing personal, nothing she hasn"t been expecting.
The child cries out and pulls her hand back; her fingers are stained with paint and smell faintly of low tide and turpentine.
The river"s burning, and the night sky is the color of an apocalypse. White temples of weathered stone rise from the whispering jungles, ancient monuments to alien G.o.ds-Shiva, Parvati, Kartikeya, Brushava, Ganesha-crumbling prayers to pale blue skins and borrowed tusks.
Farasha looks at the sky, and the stars have begun to fall, drawing momentary lines of clean white fire through the billowing smoke. Heaven will intercede, and this ruined world will pa.s.s away and rise anew from its own gray ashes. A helicopter drifts above the b.l.o.o.d.y river like a great insect of steel and spinning rotors, and she closes her eyes before it sees her.
"I was never any good with riddles," she says when Mr. Binder asks her about the package again, why she touched it, why she opened it, why she read all the things inside.
"It isn"t a riddle," he scolds, and his voice is thunder and waves breaking against rocky sh.o.r.es and wind through the trees. "It"s a gift. "
"I was never any good with gifts, either," she replies, watching as the gla.s.s vial from the manila envelope slips from his fingers and begins the long descent towards her kitchen floor. It might fall for a hundred years, for a hundred Thousand years, but she"ll never be quick enough to catch it.
The child reaches deep into the painting again, deeper than before, and now the water has gone as cold as ice and burns her hand. She grits her teeth against the pain, and feels the shark brush past her frozen skin.
"If it"s not already within you, no one can put it there," the droid says to her as it begins to unb.u.t.ton the pink, ketchup-stained blouse she doesn"t remember putting on. "We have no wombs but those which open for us. "
"I told you, I"m not any good with riddles. "
Farasha is standing naked in her kitchen, bathed in the light of falling stars and burning rivers and the fluorescent tubes set into the low ceiling. There"s a girl in a rumpled school uniform standing nearby, her back turned to Farasha, watching the vial from the envelope as it tumbles end over end towards the floor. The child"s hands and forearms are smeared with greasy shades of cobalt and jade and hyacinth.
"You have neither love nor the hope of love," the girl says. "You have neither purpose nor a dream of purpose. You have neither pain nor freedom from pain. " then she turns her head, looking over her right shoulder at Farasha. "You don"t even have a job. "
"Did you do that? You did, didn"t you?"
"You opened the envelope," the child says and smiles knowingly, then turns back to the falling vial. "You"re the one who read the message. "
The shark is coming for her, an engine of blood and cartilage, dentine and bone, an engine forged and perfected without love or the hope of love, without purpose or freedom from pain. The air in her lungs expands as she rises, and her exhausted, unperfect primate muscles have begun to ache and cramp. This is not your world, The shark growls, and she"s not surprised that it has her mother"s voice. You gave all this s.h.i.t up aeons ago. You crawled out into the slime and the sun looking for G.o.d, remember?
"It was an invitation, that"s all," the girl says and shrugs. The vial is only a few inches from the floor now. "You"re free to turn us away. There will always be others. "
"I don"t understand what you"re saying," Farasha tells the girl and then takes a step back, antic.i.p.ating the moment when the vial finally strikes the hard tile floor.
"Then stop trying. "
"Sonepur-"
"That wasn"t our doing," the girl says and shakes her head. "A man did that. Men would make a weapon of the entire cosmos, given enough time. "
"I don"t know what you"re offering me. "
The girl turns to face Farasha, holding out one paint-stained hand. There are three pearls resting in her palm.
The jungle echoes with rifle and machine gun fire and the dull violence of faraway explosions. The muddy, crooked path that Farasha has taken from the river bank ends at the steps of a great temple, and the air here is choked with the sugary scent of night-blooming flowers, bright and corpulent blooms which almost manage to hide the riper stink of dead things.
"But from out your own flesh," the girl says, her eyes throwing sparks now, like the shark rushing towards her. "the fruit of your suffering, Farasha Kim, not these inconsequential baubles-"
"I"m afraid," Farasha whispers, not wanting to cry, and she begins to climb the temple steps, taking them cautiously, one at a time. The vial from the envelope shatters, scattering the sooty black powder across her kitchen floor.
"That"s why I"m here," the child says and smiles again. She makes a fist, closing her hand tightly around the three pearls as a vertical slit appears in the s.p.a.ce between Farasha"s bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s, its edges red and puckered like a slowly healing wound. The slit opens wide to accept the child"s seeds.
The pain Farasha feels is not so very different from the pain she"s felt her entire life.
Farasha opens her eyes, in the not-quite-empty moments left after the dream, and she squints at the silver disk from the manila envelope. It"s hovering a couple of inches above the countertop, spinning clockwise and emitting a low, mechanical whine. A pencil-thin beam of light leaks from the dimple on the side facing upwards, light the lonely color of a winter sky before heavy snow. The beam is slightly wider where it meets the ceiling than where it exits the disk, and the air smells like ozone. She rubs her eyes and sits up. Her back pops, and her neck is stiff from falling asleep at the kitchen counter. Her mouth is dry and tastes vaguely of the things she ate for her supper.
She glances from the spinning disk to the gla.s.s vial, still stoppered and sealed with a strip of orange tape, and her left hand goes slowly to the s.p.a.ce between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Farasha presses three fingers against the thin barrier of cloth and muscle and skin covering her sternum, half-expecting something on the other side to press back. But there"s nothing, nothing at all except the faint rhythm of her heart, and she reaches for the vial. Her hand is shaking, and it rolls away from her and disappears over the far edge of the counter. A second or two later, there"s the sound of breaking gla.s.s.
The disk is spinning faster now, and the light shining from the dimple turns a bruised violet.
She looks down at the scatter of paper, and her eyes settle on the three handwritten lines from The Waste Land. She reads them aloud, and they feel wild and irrevocable on her tongue, poetry become the components of an alchemical rite or the const.i.tuent symbols in some algebraic equation. And I will show you something different from either/Your shadow at morning striding behind you/Or your shadow at evening rising up to meet you. Nine, seven, ten, dividing into thirty-eight syllables, one hundred and nineteen characters.
But what if I won"t listen? she thinks. What if I won"t see? And she"s answered at once by the voice of a child, the voice of a brown woman who dives for gems in a painted ocean, the wordless voice of the sooty particles from the broken vial as they fill the air Farasha"s breathing and find their way deep inside her.
That"s why I"m here, remember? The voices reply, almost speaking in unison now, a secret choir struggling for harmony, and the disk on the counter stops suddenly and then begins to spin in the opposite direction. The beam of light has turned a garish scarlet, and it pulsates in time to her racing heart. The contagion is faster than she ever could have imagined, and this is not the pain from her dream. This is pain doubled and redoubled, pain become something infinitely greater than mere electrical impulses pa.s.sed between neurons and the folds of her simple, mammalian brain. But Farasha understands, finally, and she doesn"t struggle as the soot begins its work of taking her apart and putting her back together another way, dividing polypeptide chains and inserting its own particular amino acids before it zips them shut again.
And her stolen body, like the fractured, ephemeral landscape of her nightmares, becomes something infinitely mutable, altered from second to second to second, living tissue as malleable as paint on a bare canvas. There is not death here, and there is no longer loneliness or fear, boredom or the dread of whatever"s coming next. With eyes that have never truly seen before this moment, Farasha watches at her soul fills up with pearls.
Dead s.p.a.ce For The Unexpected.
by Geoff Ryman.
Geoff Ryman is the author of the novels The Warrior Who Carried Life, The Unconquered Country, The Child Garden, Was, 253, l.u.s.t, Air, and The King"s Last Song. His short fiction has appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Interzone, Tor.com, New Worlds, and has frequently been reprinted in Gardner Dozois"s Year"s Best Science Fiction series. Most of his short work can be found in the collections Unconquered Countries and the recent Paradise Tales and Other Stories. He is a winner of the World Fantasy Award, the John W. Campbell Memorial Award, the Arthur C. Clarke Award, the Philip K. d.i.c.k Award, the Tiptree Award, and the British Science Fiction Award. He is also the editor of the recent anthology When It Changed. Another story of his appears elsewhere in this volume.
The 1990s gave birth to books like Microserfs and movies like Office s.p.a.ce-creations that sank their teeth into American corporate culture to reveal the hollow interior of a life spent in a cubicle. There may have been stock options up for grabs and IRAs growing in the bank, but nothing could make up for soulless grind of bad bosses and constant scrutiny.
Our next story could have been written for Dom Portwood, Office s.p.a.ce"s detestably droning middle management icon. If Dom had access to the kind of technology our next protagonist uses to dig into his underlings, the film would have gone from darkly funny to deeply depressing.
This is a working world not much different from our own, a dystopian society just a few notches up the corporate ladder.
Jonathan was going to have to fire Simon. It was a big moment in Jonathan"s day, a solid achievement from the point of view of the company. Jonathan knew that his handling of the whole procedure had been model-so far. He had warned Simon a month ago that termination was a possibility and that plans should be made. Jonathan knew that he had felt all the appropriate feelings-sympathy, regret, and an echoing in himself of the sick, sad panic of redundancy.
Well, if you have sincere emotion, hang onto it. Use it. h.e.l.l, there had even been a sting of tears around the bottom of his eyes as he told Simon. Jonathan"s score for that session had been 9. 839 out of 10, a personal best for a counseling episode.
Now he had to be even better. The entire Team"s average had nose-dived. So had Jonathan"s own scores. He, the Team, needed a good score. Next month"s printouts were at stake.
So Jonathan waited in the meeting room with a sign up on the door that said IN USE. On his eyes were contact lenses that were marked for accurate measurement, and which flickered and swerved as his eyes moved. There was a bright pattern of stripes and squares and circles on his shirt, to highlight breathing patterns. Galvanic skin resistance was monitored by his watch strap. It was, of course, a voluntary program, designed to give managers and staff alike feedback on their performance.
There was a knock on the door and Simon came in, handsome, neat, running a bit to fat, fifty-two years old.
It would be the benches for Simon, the park benches in summer with the civic chess board with the missing pieces. Then the leaves and seasonal chill in autumn. Winter would be the packed and steamy public library with the unwashed bodies, and the waiting for a chance to read the job ads, check the terminals, scan the benefits information. It would be bye-bye to clean shirts, ties without food stains, a desk, the odd bottle of wine, pride. For just a moment, Jonathan saw it all clearly in his mind.
Either you were a performer or you weren"t.
"Hi, Simon, have a good weekend?"
"Yes, thank you," said Simon, as he sat down, his face impa.s.sive, his movements contained and neat.
Jonathan sighed. "I wanted to give you this now, before I sent it to anyone else. I wanted you to be the first to know I"m very sorry. "
Jonathan held out a sealed, white, blank envelope. Simon primed for a month, simply nodded.
"I hope you know there"s nothing personal in this. I"ve tried to explain why it"s necessary, but just to be clear, there has been a severe drop in our performance and we simply must up our averages, and be seen to be taking some positive action. In terms of more staff training, that sort of thing. "
Already this was not going well. The opening line about the weekend could not be less appropriate, and n.o.body was going to think that being fired was a positive step or care two hoots about the training other people were going to get. Inwardly, Jonathan winced. "Anyway," he shrugged with regret, still holding out the envelope that Simon had not taken. Jonathan tossed it across the table and it spun on a cushion of air across the wood-patterned surface.
Simon made no move to pick it up. "We all get old," he said. "You will, too. "
"And when my scores slip," said Jonathan, trying to generate some fellow feeling, "I expect the same thing will happen to me. "
"I hope so," said Simon.
Right, counseling mode. Jonathan remembered his training. Unfortunately, so did Simon-they had been on the same courses.
"Are you angry, would you like to talk?" said Jonathan, remembering: keep steady eye contact, or rather contact with the forehead or bridge of the nose, which is less threatening. Lean backwards so less aggression, but echo body language.
Simon smiled slightly and started to pick his nose, very messily, and look at the result. He held the result up towards Jonathan as if to say echo this.
Jonathan nodded as if in agreement. "It"s only natural that you should feel some resentment, but it might be more constructive if you expressed it verbally. You know, say what you feel, blow off some steam. If not to me, then to someone, the Welfare Officer perhaps. "
"I don"t need to blow off steam," said Simon and stood up and walked to the door.
Procedures were not being followed; discipline was important.
"Simon, you haven"t taken your letter. "
Simon stood at the door for a moment. "It"s not my letter. It"s not written for me, it"s addressed to Personnel so they can stop paying me. "
Boy, thought Jonathan, if you were still being marked, you"d be in trouble, buddy.
"You forget," said Simon his blue eyes gray and flinty, "I used to work in Accounts. " He picked up the letter, paused, and wiped his finger on it. Then he left the room.
Jonathan sat at the table, trembling with rage. f.u.c.k counseling, he wanted to haul off and slug the guy. He took a deep breath, just like in the handling stress course, then stood up and left the meeting room, remembering to change the sign on the door. VACANT it said.
Back in his own office, he checked his score. It was bad form to check your scores too often; it showed insecurity, but Jonathan couldn"t help himself. He verballed to the computer.
"Performance feedback, Dayplan Item One. "
His mark was higher than he had thought it would be: 7. 2, well over a five and edging towards a 7. 5 for a pretty tough situation. But it was not the high score the Team needed.
It was 8:42. Three minutes ahead of schedule.
"Dayplan complete," he verballed, and his day was laid out before him on the screen.
8:30 Simon Hasley (actioned) 8:45 Dayplan confirmed and in tray 8:50 Sally meeting prep 9:00 Sally meeting 9:30 Sales meeting William 10:00 Dead s.p.a.ce for the unexpected. . .
It was important that work was seen to be prioritized, that nothing stayed on the desk, or queued up on the machine. It all had to be handled in the right order. The computer worked that out for you from the priority rating you gave each item, gave you optimum work times and the corporate cost, and if you did not object, those were your targets for the first half of the day.
Right. In-tray. There was a management report on purchasing. Jonathan did not purchase, but he needed to know the new procedures his Finance Officer was supposed to follow. So make that a priority eight, book in a reading for it next week, and ask for the machine to prepare a performance. Next was a memo with spreadsheet from Admin. Admin acted as a kind of prophylactic against Accounts, giving early warning of what would strike Accounts as below par performance. Jonathan"s heart sank. Late invoices. Holy s.h.i.t, not again, an average of twelve days?
Thanks a lot, George, thanks a f.u.c.king lot. s.h.i.t, p.i.s.s, f.u.c.k, I"ll cut off that G.o.d-d.a.m.ned a.s.shole"s head and stick it up his own greased a.s.shole.
Ho-boy, Jonathan, that"s anger. Channel it, use it. Right, we got ourselves a priority one here, schedule it in Dead s.p.a.ce. Jonathan slammed his way into George"s network terminal. Which at 8:47 in the morning was not switched on.
PRIORITY 1.