"But I do think you need to slow down. Take a deep breath-"
"How is that not telling me what to do?" Izzy asked.
"Just stop and think," Jenk said as the elevator door opened again with a ding ding. "At least figure out what you"re going to say before you get there."
"I"ll do that," Izzy said. "On the plane." He handed the sc.r.a.p of paper to Jenk and got into the elevator. "Give that to Dan. Make sure he calls to tell Eden he"s all right."
"Iz," Jenk said plaintively as the doors slid closed.
Izzy stopped them with his hand and they sprang open again. "I just want to see her," he told his friend. "You know, talk to her? In person? I know she"s done with me and I"m...I"m done with her, too."
"You"re not acting like it, bro," Jenk said.
"I know," Izzy said. "But I"m just going to keep saying that to myself and...maybe by the time I get there, it"ll be true, and I can, I don"t know, have some kind of closure."
The elevator starting ringing-he"d held the door open for too long.
"You want me to come with you?" Jenk asked, even though he must"ve said forty times in the past five hours just how psyched he was to get back home to see his adorable pregnant wife. "Let me come with you."
"Thanks," Izzy said as he let the doors close. "But no."
"Call if you need me," was the last thing he heard before the elevator took him down.
LAS V VEGAS.
TUESDAY, MAY 5, 2009.
Eden"s cell phone finally rang in the early hours of the morning, long after Ben had fallen asleep in her bedroom, exhausted by the medically and emotionally taxing day.
It wasn"t her father, but it was someone else, calling from Germany. She recognized the country code. She closed her eyes and said a brief prayer before flipping it open.
"h.e.l.lo?"
"Eden. It"s Dan."
It was her brother"s voice. It was her brother calling. "Oh, dear Lord," she said. "Oh, thank you, thank thank you for calling me. Thank G.o.d you"re all right." But then she realized that just because he was able to dial a phone, that didn"t mean he wasn"t horribly maimed. "There was this letter saying that you were wounded, and Ben and I were so scared and... you for calling me. Thank G.o.d you"re all right." But then she realized that just because he was able to dial a phone, that didn"t mean he wasn"t horribly maimed. "There was this letter saying that you were wounded, and Ben and I were so scared and...Are you all right?" you all right?"
"Yeah, I"m fine," he told her. "I"m getting out of the hospital tomorrow morning and...Sorry if I frightened you. Is Ivette there?"
Like Eden and Ben, Danny, too, called their mother by her first name.
"I"m not...I don"t live with her," Eden told him. "In fact, she and Greg don"t even know I"m back in town. I came because Ben..." And the relief that filled her over the news that Dan was okay triggered some kind of release, and it all came out of her, in one giant rush, even as she lowered her voice to keep from waking Ben. "Oh, Danny, he said he kicked Greg"s a.s.s yesterday, but you should see the bruises he got. He was trying to hide them, but he changed his shirt and...That man is a monster and a freak, and Ben says he"s not going back, and I"m not going to make him, how could I? Especially when they keep saying they"re going to send him to one of those reparative therapy camps? They have him scheduled to go to this awful place in June, but what if Greg sends him someplace earlier after this? I"m trying to earn enough money to hire a lawyer so I can get custody of him, but I"m afraid if I break the law it"s going to make things worse-" She broke off, realizing that this was the last thing he needed. He was still in the hospital hospital, and she was dumping all of this on him like a little whining girl. "I"m sorry. It"s just...This is harder than I thought."
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
"But I"m handling it," Eden said, forcing back her tears. She would not cry. She would would not cry. not cry.
There was more silence, but then Dan sighed. "s.h.i.t," he said.
"I"m sorry," Eden said again. She took a deep breath. "The truth is, I could could use a little help-well, okay, a lot of help-but before you say no, I"m not asking you to come all the way out here to save us. That"s not what this is about. In fact, I"ll come to you so we can talk. Ben and I"ll take the bus to San Diego-" use a little help-well, okay, a lot of help-but before you say no, I"m not asking you to come all the way out here to save us. That"s not what this is about. In fact, I"ll come to you so we can talk. Ben and I"ll take the bus to San Diego-"
"I"m not going to San Diego," he told her. "After I"m released I"m going to New York City for at least a week."
It was Eden"s turn to be silent.
"How come Ben didn"t e-mail me?" Dan asked, and it was kind of nice, because he was asking the question in a regular voice, as if they were having a normal conversation between a brother and a sister. It wasn"t some kind of dysfunctional shouting match, the way it usually was when they spoke.
"He did. A few weeks ago," she answered him, in the same conversational tone. "We figured you were, you know. Out there. Busy." She forced a laugh. "Which apparently you were. Getting yourself injured. I am am sorry about that..." sorry about that..."
More silence. And then he said, "I didn"t know it was that bad with Ben. I knew it was getting to that point, but I didn"t think...I thought I"d have more time."
"Me, too," Eden said. "But...I can"t let him go back there. To have to live in that house with Greg? Really, Danny. And I"ve been reading about those ex-gay camps..."
"Yeah," Dan said. "I know. I have, too."
And hope sparked. So Eden groveled. "I would never ask you this if it was just about me," she said quietly. "I hope you know that. I know I"ve used up all your patience and...Financially, I"ve...Pushed you too far. I know that. And I"m okay. I"m working. I have a job. I"m doing better than okay. I"m making enough to support Ben, too-and to pay you back everything that I"ve ever borrowed from you, but...You know that Ivette will never let Ben live with me. Not unless"-she closed her eyes and just said it-"you said you lived with us, too. In San Diego. Of course."
Danny was their mother"s pride and joy. Captain Perfect. The offspring who could do no wrong. Of course, it didn"t hurt that he still sent a huge chunk of his pay home every month.
He was silent again on the end of the line, all the way across both the continent and the Atlantic Ocean, where it was much later in the day than it was here.
But whatever time it was in Germany, Eden could hear him breathing.
"Look," he finally said. "I"m going to have to call you back. I"ll call you soon, okay?"
"Yeah," Eden said, then quickly added, "Dan, wait..." before he could hang up.
"I"m still here."
"Thank you," she told her brother. "Even for just thinking thinking about doing this for us. Thank you so much." about doing this for us. Thank you so much."
"Yeah," he said, his voice gruff before he hung up.
LANDSTUHL, GERMANY.
TUESDAY, MAY 5, 2009.
"s.h.i.t," Dan said again after hanging up the phone.
"Trouble?" Jenn asked, and he nodded, glancing up only briefly to meet her eyes, before looking down again at the cell phone he held in his hands.
Something was cooking in that big brain of his-something that was making the muscles jump in the side of his jaw and his elegant lips set in a tight line.
"Is Ben okay?" she asked, and this time when Danny looked up at her, there was a flash of what seemed to be annoyance or even anger in his eyes.
Which was, in part, what made his next words so surprising.
"Marry me," he said.
Jenn laughed, but then stopped, because it was clear that he wasn"t making some kind of crazy joke. He was serious.
Her breath caught and both her throat and chest were suddenly tight as tears stung her eyes-but not in a good way. Not in an Oh my G.o.d, I can"t believe this, I"m so happy I could cry Oh my G.o.d, I can"t believe this, I"m so happy I could cry way. way.
"Danny," she said quietly. "That"s not the solution."
"But it is," he told her, and he actually meant it. His conviction was impressive. "Of all the places in the world where Ben could live, where he would thrive and be happy, New York City"s got to be in the top three. And yeah, I know it wouldn"t be the easiest thing. Instantly having a teenage kid to deal with. I know it"s asking a lot. Plus, it"s expensive to live there, I get that-"
"Whoa," Jenn said. "Wait. What? You want Ben to live with me me, in New York City...?"
His brown eyes were dead serious. "With us," he corrected her.
"Except you"d be stationed in..." Where were the SEALs stationed on the East Coast? Virginia, wasn"t it? "Little Creek?"
Danny was shaking his head. "No-h.e.l.l, no! Wow, I"d never ask you to...Jenni, I"m talking about leaving the teams. It"s coming up on that time again, but I just won"t re-up."
She was stunned. "Oh, my G.o.d."
"You really thought...Jesus, I wouldn"t ask you to do that, any more than I"d ask you to move to San Diego. You work in New York. You have a life there."
"What about your your life?" she asked. life?" she asked.
He looked away from her so that she wouldn"t be able to see that he was lying. "I"m ready for a change."
Jenn just sat there, gazing at him, until he looked up.
"I knew this was coming," he insisted. "I"ve been thinking about it for a while. Even before I met you." He winced. "And I didn"t mean it the way it sounded-like I was thinking of the best way to handle this, so I was looking for someone to marry, to help me take care of Ben. Believe me, if I was looking for easy solutions, I"d"ve found someone who lived in San Diego."
"I think you"re wonderful," she told him, "to want to do this for Ben, but there"s got to be another way. What about your sister?" Not Eden, the other one. The older one. What was her name? "Sandy."
"She"s a nightmare," Dan told her. "I can"t count on her for anything."
"Your older brothers...?" He told her, in one of his many e-mails, that Ivette was his father"s second wife, that he"d had two sons from a previous marriage-John and Christopher. Dan had spent the occasional weekend with them when he was growing up-they"d taught him to hunt and fish. But they"d also dropped off the map when his father and Ivette divorced. He hadn"t seen either of them in years. "Maybe this would be a good time to get back in touch."
But Dan shook his head. "They hated us. They blamed Ivette for wrecking their family. I didn"t get it when I was a kid, but now...? I do. And since Ben"s not even related to them..."
"Okay. Eden, then. It sounded like Eden had some kind of a plan."
"Yeah," Dan said. "She wants us to get an apartment together in San Diego-her, Ben, and me." He shook his head. "I couldn"t live with her. I couldn"t."
"But you could stay in the Navy, if you did that," Jenn pointed out. She leaned forward. "Ben"s what? Fifteen?"
Dan nodded.
"It"s only three years until he"s eighteen, and then your life"s your own again," she told him. "Three years isn"t that long a time-especially considering you"ll be away for a large portion of it."
"So...Is that a no no to marrying me?" to marrying me?"
Jenn smiled at him through that tightness that just wouldn"t leave her chest. "It"s a no no to being a part of your not-particularly-well-thought-out-but-very-gallant sacrifice. I mean, even if you had to leave the Navy, you and Ben could come to New York. You don"t have to marry me to do that." to being a part of your not-particularly-well-thought-out-but-very-gallant sacrifice. I mean, even if you had to leave the Navy, you and Ben could come to New York. You don"t have to marry me to do that."
"I guess I was thinking, you know, if there"s a custody fight...?"
"From everything you told me, your mother adores you," Jenn said. "She"s going to let Ben live with you. It"s hard to believe she won"t."
"She does what Greg tells her to," Dan said. "He might start a custody battle as a way to hit me up for more money."
Jenn stood up. "I"m going to call Maria." Her boss and best friend, a New York State a.s.semblywoman, was also a lawyer. "See what she thinks."
She started to dig in her purse for her cell phone, when Dan reached out and caught her by the belt loop on her jeans. He pulled her in and down so that she was sitting on the edge of his bed.
"I didn"t mean to come on too strong," he told her. "I just thought-"
"That you didn"t have options," Jenn finished for him. "But you do.
We"ll talk to Maria."
But she could see both doubt and trepidation in Danny"s eyes, even as he tried to smile. "I could do three years," he said. "For Ben"s sake. Provided you promise to spend every vacation with me-and invited me to crash at your place in New York anytime Eden drives me crazy. And provided you"re right and I don"t have to be married to get custody."
She kissed him. "I"ll do better than that," she said. "If I"m wrong about the custody thing, and it comes down to it? I"ll marry you. Because I could also do three years. And I could do it in San Diego, too."
"I"d never ask you to do that," he said again.
"I know," Jenn told him, pushing his hair back from his face. "But that doesn"t mean I can"t offer." She kissed him again, then reached for her phone. "Let me call Maria. Because I also need to tell her that I"m taking that extra week off." Maria had told her to take as long as she needed, and Jenn definitely needed.
Because she and Dan were going to Vegas.
LAS V VEGAS.
TUESDAY, MAY 5, 2009.
Neesha veered sharply left, into a clothing store where music played much too loudly, whether it was morning or evening. She went all the way to the rear of the store before she dared to glance back, out at the food court and...
The two men leaning against the wall hadn"t moved. They weren"t looking over here. Their body language hadn"t changed at all.
One was keeping an eye on the tables, the other was looking down at his cell phone.
They were standing in the very spot-more dimly lit than the rest of the mall-next to the barbecue counter, where she usually stopped and pretended to fix her shoe because from that vantage point, she could quickly scan the entire food court and make sure she saw no familiar faces-of Mr. Nelson or Todd or another of his goons-in the crowd.
She moved closer to the store"s entrance, wishing she had the confidence to pretend she was shopping-to grab some of the shiny hangers that held pretty, brightly colored clothing, and carry them around to the front of the store as she checked every single rack.
But she was terrified of being accused of stealing-shoplifting, it was called. And even though the store was filled with girls who were even younger than she was, they each had a mother with them, and the clerks didn"t look at them askance.
Still, the two men who were searching for someone-that much was clear-didn"t so much as glance in her direction, so she shifted closer, hoping for a better look at their faces.
Not that she knew each and every one of Mr. Nelson"s guards, but she did know quite a few.
Neesha moved behind a rack of dresses just to the left of the entrance and peeked out.
No, she didn"t think she knew them. They were both tall and broad-both with faces that were called white, even though they weren"t really. The one with the cell phone was bald, with a beard that decorated only part of his chin.